I Keep Having Intrusive, Unpleasant Thoughts

Hexmage-PA

I've experienced intrusive thoughts for several years now, thoughts that are usually triggered by certain people that I care about. Though these thoughts did not occur as often as they once did, they still surface more often than I would care for.

These thoughts are usually sexual in nature, so I'd rather not describe them in detail here. I'll just say that they are not at all arousing; in fact, they are discomforting and frequently bizarre. Similarly, I also sometimes suddenly think of certain people I know personally whenever I engage in sexual activity. I am in no way attracted to these people; it's as if my mind is just trying to freak me out by suddenly making me think of my aunt or something.

My worst fear is that I will have these types of intrusive thoughts plaguing me at some sort of important future event. For example, what if someone I knew was dying and I went to be with them, but I couldn't help but have these intrusive thoughts? I don't want such a thing to happen, because then I would spend the rest of my life associating the death of a loved one with an unpleasant, irrational thought.

I've heard that trying to block thoughts only intensifies them (such as how you can't think of a pink elephant whenever someone says "Don't think about a pink elephant"). With this in mind, what should I do to diminish their power? Could I, for example, write a stream of consciousness to myself concerning them? What if doing so were to make my problem worse, rather than better?

WonderMink

It isn't that you block thoughts, as in thinking about not thinking about it all the time. What you do is say "go away thought" every time it does come into your mind. Then they will leave.

FeatherBlade

Counseling is always a viable option.

You could also try writing down the thoughts (to get them out of your head) and burning what you've written. The idea is to create a symbolic association, or something: "I have destroyed these thought, there is no need for them to enter my mind again." type of thing.

Or consciously redirect your thoughts to something innocuous as soon as you recognise them happening.

It takes practice, but it's just a matter of mental discipline.

Try to not dwell on or re-live the thoughts after the fact, though: that will only serve to ingrain them deeper in your mind.

Sam

It isn't that you block thoughts, as in thinking about not thinking about it all the time. What you do is say "go away thought" every time it does come into your mind. Then they will leave.


in my experience, this could exacerbate things or temporarily alleviate them only for them to come back later when you aren't completely "on guard"

it's kind of paradoxical to be defending against yourself

imo a person is the same as their thoughts. other than subjectively there's no sum total or "good" or "bad" person at the end all of it.

so what this means is that having a sexual thought about person X does not imply that you want to have a sexual experience with them, but that you're just terrified about some perceived defect or failure within yourself, and it manifests through this mental game of "oh you want to do this unwholesome thing don't you?- no i don't i am not such a person to be such a person is disgusting etc."

the problem is you don't grapple whatever the actual issue is when you've put yourself in some unrelated anxiety-binary.

so if it were me, the next time such thoughts arise, i'd stop trying to run from them, reject the sense of shame that comes with it and just observe without any overarching intention- you may learn something about yourself this way, and the thoughts start to lose their power over you, and gradually stop arising.

ceres

This is a really tough thing. If this is something that really, really bothers you, you're probably going to want to seek counseling for it. I have been dealing with intrusive thoughts for a little while now (not really of quite the same nature, but intrusive nonetheless), and if there are magic words to get rid of them I certainly haven't found the right combo yet. And I've tried everything.

If all else fails and this is interfering with your quality of life, don't hesitate to see a counselor. You're the only person who knows if this bothers you that much.

Sam

one really simple thing to try is breathing exercises. just google them. seems silly breathing makes a huge difference especially in moments of crisis like what you describe.

onceling

This is very common with obsessive compulsive disorder and other related conditions. Treatment usually involves medication and CBT. Sexual thoughts of the kind you have outlined are not unusual and you are not alone.

I don't feel that it would be easy to treat this on your own, but generally it is important to understand your triggers, and recognize that it might be stress, anxiety, depression that is actually triggering these thoughts. Then a professional can help you change your reactions to these triggers.

You might want to give this a look-see:

http://www.ocduk.org/2/foursteps.htm

But please don't be afraid to seek some help, a combination of mediation and therapy/training can really help.

Sam

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness_(psychology)

interesting, related- http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-brain-work/200910/the-neuroscience-mindfulness

Nimble Cat

I was about to post about meditation, actually.

I learned to meditate in a non-religious setting and it really does help to calm down the mind, even when you're not meditating.
Practicing some simple breathing meditations for 10-20 minutes a day can really help an overactive mind.

There's a very good series called "Mindful Meditations" on iTunes U for free from UCLA. Download a few of the mediation instructions and give them a go, it can't hurt anything.

Sam

man i keep meaning to make use of itunes ui but never do

Viscountalpha

I have had this problem before and the trick with it (well, for me) Is to tell yourself- "I do not want this thought process, This is not who I am. I refuse to continue down this path"

If they are sexual in nature then you are probably surrounded by some sort of input of sexual content. For myself, it was cutting down and even trying to avoid porn in my life. If you really want to change, you need to sacrifice for it.

Meditation is a life saver. Religious or not, it can be useful.

CelestialBadger

This sounds a lot like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which is way more complex than the "compulsive hand-washing" that popular culture supposes it to be.

Here is the Wikipedia article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder

You should ask your doctor about your problem, as self-diagnosis and treatment of any disorder is not necessarily a great idea.

Forbin

Hmm, I haven't really thought about this recently but it seems kinda similar.

I used to have fairly sadistic (he's standing right there, I could punch him in the stomach) and masochistic (just go ahead and step off that tall ledge) thoughts that were always met with this feeling of dread, like a buzzing in my head, that my own body might simply act upon these thoughts on its own.

It hasn't been a problem for me for quite some time now, though.

ceres

I think it's also important to note that everyone does this to a degree, and the important thing is how much it negatively impacts your life, or if you start to feel like you may impulsively act on these things. If the latter, get thee to some sort of counseling.

Laemkral

To OP, it was brave of you to come forward about this, and being able to confront this issue is an important step. I cant say that i ever had intrusive thoughts on the level you have, but I like others who've posted here have had something similar. Meditation helped me a lot, so I hope that if you try it you see a measure of success as well. I also recommend counseling, as that was very helpful to me as well.

Good luck to you and know you're not alone, and remain strong in that knowledge.

incompletedetective

Hello, I have been struggling with that kind of thought processes for years. Mine is exactly the same as yours. Have you ever found a remedy? Please share it with me. That would help.

incompletedetective

Hello, I have been struggling with that kind of thought processes for years. Mine is exactly the same as yours. Have you ever found a remedy? Please share it with me. That would help.

Hexmage-PA wrote: »

I've experienced intrusive thoughts for several years now, thoughts that are usually triggered by certain people that I care about. Though these thoughts did not occur as often as they once did, they still surface more often than I would care for.

These thoughts are usually sexual in nature, so I'd rather not describe them in detail here. I'll just say that they are not at all arousing; in fact, they are discomforting and frequently bizarre. Similarly, I also sometimes suddenly think of certain people I know personally whenever I engage in sexual activity. I am in no way attracted to these people; it's as if my mind is just trying to freak me out by suddenly making me think of my aunt or something.

My worst fear is that I will have these types of intrusive thoughts plaguing me at some sort of important future event. For example, what if someone I knew was dying and I went to be with them, but I couldn't help but have these intrusive thoughts? I don't want such a thing to happen, because then I would spend the rest of my life associating the death of a loved one with an unpleasant, irrational thought.

I've heard that trying to block thoughts only intensifies them (such as how you can't think of a pink elephant whenever someone says "Don't think about a pink elephant"). With this in mind, what should I do to diminish their power? Could I, for example, write a stream of consciousness to myself concerning them? What if doing so were to make my problem worse, rather than better?