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So... tired... always...
Improvolone
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I have a lot of stress in my life; crazy job (way understaffed/over worked/focus is fractured across projects), single father, bat shit insane ex making the custody trial a pain (though the trial is almost over, I do have to deal with her for awhile), etc. I eat well, am not over weight, am physically active at work but when I come home I'm pretty sedentary. Here is my normal schedule:
Wake up with the kid. Have breakfast, dress him, get ready to leave, leave for work, drop kid off at school, go to work, work, leave work, pick up kid from school, play with the kid for a little bit, have dinner, put him to bed at 8:30 and wind up passing out with him. Wake up, rinse, repeat.
I really don't have any vices. I don't smoke, don't drink, am not on any medication, blah blah blah. I don't even drink coffee/energy drinks more than a couple times a month. I get enough sleep, possibly too much?
God. I'm fucking exhausted constantly. I will plan on seeing my doctor about this, but I wanted to check with the community at large to see if there was anything glaring that I was missing.
edit: I think I have a low sex drive, but I'm not sure if that's real or not. Sex isn't a priority for me with everything else in my life and it seems and this may just come with the territory of being exhausted.
Wake up with the kid. Have breakfast, dress him, get ready to leave, leave for work, drop kid off at school, go to work, work, leave work, pick up kid from school, play with the kid for a little bit, have dinner, put him to bed at 8:30 and wind up passing out with him. Wake up, rinse, repeat.
I really don't have any vices. I don't smoke, don't drink, am not on any medication, blah blah blah. I don't even drink coffee/energy drinks more than a couple times a month. I get enough sleep, possibly too much?
God. I'm fucking exhausted constantly. I will plan on seeing my doctor about this, but I wanted to check with the community at large to see if there was anything glaring that I was missing.
edit: I think I have a low sex drive, but I'm not sure if that's real or not. Sex isn't a priority for me with everything else in my life and it seems and this may just come with the territory of being exhausted.
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I know you mentioned you do those things more or less, but even I do these things and it really helps to turn it up to 11 sometimes.
I also don't live near family or have a big social circle, so I don't have a bunch of people I can rely on for child care. Weird situation for sure.
Is there a playground or anywhere you can take him and run around with him? Or is he too young?
How old is your kid? The older he is, the easier it could be to get it some exercise-like play. Is there such a thing as father-son sports leagues? I know there's been some harping on things you can do with him, but man, it's a great way to get in quality time. Some of my best memories with my dad are playing catch with him (something that, unfortunately, he can no longer do).
1. How is your quality of sleep and how many hours a night do you get? Have people ever commented on your snoring?
2. How long has this been going on?
3. If you think you have a low sex drive now, try and compare it to a month ago, 6 months ago, a year ago, etc.
4. Do you ever feel guilty?
5. Have you lost interest in things that you used to enjoy?
6. Do you ever have trouble concentrating?
7. Has your appetite changed?
8. Have you noticed any anxiety?
9. Have you had thoughts of suicide?
Exercising is a great suggestion. It sounds like you have no "me" time, so that might be something to address too.
Age wise, he is pre-K and we're working on potty training (going well!).
I also work weekends which is when awesome fun stuff happens. Once the custody thing has come to a resolution, I'm going to talk to work about changing my schedule. I work in entertainment (kind of) and I'm thinking about offering myself to work 7 days a week so that I can entertain more people and so that each day is a short day, which would give me more time for stuff over all. But the idea of working 7 days a week sounds scary, but at the end of it I also feel like I work 7 days a week no matter if I'm at work or not. A "day off" for me doesn't mean I can do nothing, there is always shit to be done.
First thought was that you might be suffering from anemia/Vitamin D deficiency. But I'm nowhere close to a medical expert, so that should be taken at a slight angle.
I do the exercise and eating right stuff too. However, around that certain time of the month, I get a little anemic and I have to be encouraged to get out of bed. Usually with some form of steak or other bleeding meat product.
But yeah, if you can find time, I would check with a doctor.
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One thing: you don't seem to spend much time outside, so there's a chance you might be vitamin D deficient. Are you taking a comprehensive multivitamin?
I don't eat a lot of red meat and I couldn't tell you off the top of my head what other food is rich in iron, so that could, I suppose, be a culprit.
edit: I've been getting most of my protein from dairy, peanut butter, and protein powder (whey/soy).
This is a big concern for me. I live close to work and legitimately enjoy what I do, so going in for three hours doesn't seem like that big of a deal. It just feels like what time I do have to myself is so fractured that I can't sit down to work on any personal projects/responsibilities. I can find 10 mins here or there, but nothing in a large enough chunk to feel like I could accomplish anything. Also, its not like my days off feel like a day off from anything, so working less hours a day across more days could feel like finding more time in a day (at least thats the hope).
I know you said you aren't overweight but how healthy are you realistically? Are you getting enough fruits and vegetables?
Satans..... hints.....
Its a bit of an office joke how much I eat given my weight. I'm 5'9 150lbs.
Also, take a multivitamin.
You can even take a kids' multi if you have a hard time swallowing pills. I know that I had the hardest time with some of the adult blends and for a long while I was taking gummy vitamins like Flintstones. I was having issues (for whatever reason) with the St. John's wort some of the multis I was taking added.
I believe you could also take some Prenatals. Yes I know, you're a guy. and I know you're not pregnant. But they have a higher folic acid to help against anemia that sometimes happens with pregnant women.
I would consider checking out how well you sleep. also, try to find somebody, anybody, that you can trust to take the kid for a day. Even if all you do is sit and play video games and just decompress for a bit, that can help.
I'd offer to babysit, but I don't think you want to bring the kid to new zealand. :P
Hang in there, hon. For the most part sleep issues can be handled fairly easily.
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Do you eat meat at all?
Fish, chicken, turkey, pork and eggs are all good for you and contain plenty of energy. So are nuts (almonds, walnuts, unsalted peanuts...
I work night shift and sleep terribly for a few hours during the heat of the day, and have a pretty shabby diet, so I know exactly how tired you feel. After a steak and roast veggie dinner I feel orders of magnitude better, for a good 12-18 hours. Vitamins and minerals in the correct amounts can change your life.
There does seem to be a lack of protein and iron in the later half of the day though. Some red meat sounds like it could help. Most of your protein looks like it's from dairy.
Satans..... hints.....
This is good.
I don't eat meat myself, but I make sure I get plenty of proteins and vegetables. I've recently cut out carbs in my diet in a major way and have just focused on fruits/vegetables/proteins and good fats; on top of 30-60 minutes of strenuous exercise a day and man it's night and day what kind of difference it makes. Dropping my carbs from 300-400g a day to ~100g has been the most noticeable difference recently. Not having all those carbs throughout the day gives me more consistent energy levels, less spikes, and I sleep much better.
I don't want to get into a whole nutrition thing here, I'm a strong proponent of finding out for yourself what is your best diet and nutrition requirements; it's not the same person to person. However just reading what you said you ate throughout the day, all those things for breakfast, for instance, are great, your shake anyway; but then when you add a bowl of cereal, which, lets be honest is typically treated as straight sugar by your body, is gonna make your energy levels all sorts of wacky. I would be willing to bet keeping the shake but cutting out the cereal, without even adding anything else would actually help your energy levels.
Exercise is great too if you can work it in. I'm a stay at home dad myself with a 2 1/2 year old girl so I know that issue, but I also have more flexibility in my schedule to add in some exercise when I need to. It's less important when you do it during the day than just doing it at all. It might sound like trite advise, but really take seriously the need to get your blood going and your muscles engaged during your day. Park at the far end of parking lots when you go to work, stores, dinner, whatever. If, like me, there's several playgrounds nearby you can take your kid to, go to one further away and walk. Walking with your kids is a great thing to do anyway, and a change of scenery never hurt anyone. If you can't get in a straight workout, these little things help. For you it's not about losing weight, it's just about getting your body engaged and working for energy reasons, not fat burning reasons.
Also, I'm just gonna throw it out there since I know it's a controversial subject, but a couple months ago I cut out caffeine entirely (I'm Mormon already, so no tea/coffee, but I also dead stopped chocolate and any other natural sources). For many people, some caffeine in their diet isn't a big deal, but I had an unintentional major addiction to it (long story), where I was getting the equivalent of ~2-3 nodozes a day worth of caffeine. Yes, I was that stupid. I seriously didn't know. Anyway, cutting it out (I went cold turkey which I REALLY wouldn't recommend if you have an addiction) did a good thing in the way of balancing energy levels throughout the day. But honestly it was more for dealing with my chronic/rebound headaches which is another story entirely.
Hope things get better. I know as well as many others how much suck having wild energy levels each day, particularly with a kid and a job, can be. getting consistency and balance makes so much of a difference, once you achieve something better you start to get a glimpse into how some folks who get all evangelical about their diets, exercise, nutrition, etc get that way. It's a night and day thing.
Good luck.
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I don't snore anymore and don't have sleep apnea; I recently had a UPPP for unrelated reasons.
Ding ding ding.
Cook more real meat.
Satans..... hints.....
I've heard people praise (and condemn): trailers, tag-along bikes, rear-mounted seats, front-mounted seats.
I know dozens of people who cart their kids about by bike--on the street, in traffic--in an area that is relatively dangerous for bicycles, and none of them have had any problems, so I'd say pick whichever method you think is best.
I definitely will echo that exercise--regular, good, cardio exercise--is one of the best things you can do if you feel tired--that and maintaining a standard sleep schedule as much as you can.
Also, you can pick up a cheap magnetic trainer and plug the bike in and work-out while in your house. That is how I train all winter (5 days of hard interval efforts--60-90 minutes a day) and it does wonders for everything.
Your weight/height to food ratio makes me think you should see a doctor, though. If you are eating over 2k calories a day (sure sounds like it) and so low weight, I think you could have some other issue.
I think once the custody gets settled (and fingers crossed I have him most of the time), I'm also going to get him waking up earlier. That way we could get a bike ride in before school/work or something.
I've discovered, through long trial and error, that I feel happier and more rested and more alert after about seven hours of sleep than I do after ten. For me, a large part of the difference comes from where I sleep, too: when I sleep in our actual bed, which is in a dark north-facing room of the house with cardboard covering the window to block the light, I sleep like the dead for ten hours and still want more - it's very difficult for Pixels to rouse me. But when I curl up on the futon in the living room, with its big south windows, the sunlight wakes me up early and I jump out of bed feeling great, even if I've only been sleeping for six or seven hours.
Some of the advice in here about diet and exercise is excellent, and you should definitely look into those things. But listen to your body, too: if you keep waking up early, it might be telling you that it doesn't want or need that extra sleep.
Definitely this--if I sleep-in, I feel like garbage.
I was sleeping about 7 hours a night--I've upped it to 8 for more optimum muscle recovery with my training schedule--and feel great. When I wake up at six and roll back over and sleep in until 7... 7:30? I feel groggy and miserable until about one in the afternoon.
Maybe your head is not slowing down when you go to bed so quality of sleep isn't the greatest.
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Also, shoulder-rides. I used to haul my young'un around like this all the time, and a brisk walk with 20-40 pounds on you while pointing out things in the world around you is super fun, good bonding time, and a solid workout. When they are a bit older, there are indeed daycares at the gym. Me and mine still play the Listening Game, invented together during that time, wherein we are very quiet outside and try to identify all of the sounds we can hear.
Eating Wendy's and similar kind of foods actually drain your energy because of your body's attempt to digest those kinds of foods (commonly referred to as food coma or the itis). It would be better for you to make some home cooked meals with less carbohydrates and with mono unsaturated or monosaturated fats.
Second: you need a hobby/goal, something to get you motivated to enjoy your day. Be that playing games with the kid, some video games, maybe finding a community to join (Board game, rpg, or some other kind of community you might enjoy [knitting perhaps?]).
I would recommend seeing a nutritionist if you have the time (even if for just a couple visits) and then talking to a counselor to help ensure that your mental well being is taken care of.
This is definitely true for me. If I try to go straight to bed, I get weird nightmares and sleep restlessly, 20-30 min on the couch with herbal tea and a magazine or novel seems to help me calm down better and go to bed sleepy instead of just exhausted.