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DoA: Dead or Alive, a cinematic masterpiece.

BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
edited April 2011 in Social Entropy++
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Based on the "classic" video game series, DOA: Dead or Alive is the best video game adaptation of all time.

It follows an ensemble cast of combat experts fighting in a martial arts tournament on a remote pacific island paradise. Shockingly, something goes wrong.

The cast includes:
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That asian chick with the really round face
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That blonde from My Name is Earl who looks much older than the other girls
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Eric Roberts, with the best hair ever
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and Kevin Nash who, in a shocking turn, plays a pro wrestler.

This film has godawful writing, hilariously cheap sets and costumes and some of the worst acting I've seen in a while. It is beautiful.

But don't take my word for it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yyV2D10u1k
Watch Joy Turner fight the owner of the world's tiniest mohawk

If I could, I would just post the entire ending of the movie where it is revealed that:
the fights have been staged so that Eric Roberts can use the nanobots he injected into every contestant to upload their fighting styles into a pair of sunglasses that will channel them into his brain.

Yeah.

There is also a hang-glider escape scene less than five minutes into the film, just throwing that out there.

Sadly, it isn't streaming on Netflix or Hulu or whatever. So do yourself a favor and find this gem in the 1 dollar bin at your local Blockbuster or video store of choice.

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BlankZoe on

Posts

  • Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    YES THIS FUCKING MOVIE

    BEST WORST VIDEO GAME MOVIE EVER MADE

    Kuribo's Shoe on
    xmassig2.gif
  • RadiusRadius Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I don't understand, isn't Tina a pro wrestler? Why did that fight have no pro wrestling?

    Radius on
    Everyday we stray further from God's light
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  • WeaverWeaver Breakfast Witch Hashus BrowniusRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    wasn't miss round face there in sin city too?

    Weaver on
  • TenTen Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I fucking love this movie

    Tits and awesome fight scenes, the movie knows what it has and that it doesn't need anything else

    Ten on
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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2011
    I wanted to see this movie from the first time I viewed the trailer but I never did. I need to remedy this.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • HuggyBear1020HuggyBear1020 Registered User new member
    edited March 2011
    It's one of those "so bad it's good" movies.

    HuggyBear1020 on
    This forum has sig rules I didn't read.

    I should read them before I put another giant gif here, or a moderator will give me a profile infraction.
  • LordSolarMachariusLordSolarMacharius Red wine with fish Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    The best of it's kind. A truely noble effort.

    LordSolarMacharius on
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Kevin Nash was the finest actor in the film. A truly career-defining, heart-wrenching performance.

    cj iwakura on
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  • Beef AvengerBeef Avenger Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    This movie is pretty great

    Beef Avenger on
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  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    This is a good movie to watch when utterly inebriated

    Solar on
  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    bewbs

    Peen on
  • B_RB_R Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Hey its the guy who did The Transporter.
    It can't be too bad right?

    B_R on
  • AshcroftAshcroft LOL The PayloadRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    An entire movie about not quite seeing some tits.

    Ashcroft on
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  • Beef AvengerBeef Avenger Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Ashcroft wrote: »
    An entire movie about not quite seeing some tits.



    NSFW
    http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1616851/doa_beach_volleyball/

    edit: the relinks are pretty bad

    Beef Avenger on
    Steam ID
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  • Beef AvengerBeef Avenger Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Don't worry I'll balance it out

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdAVH-ZeUHc

    Beef Avenger on
    Steam ID
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  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzY9a-WmE6o

    cj iwakura on
    z48g7weaopj2.png
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Absolutely the best worst movie I've ever seen. I watched it with about 10 friends from college, most of whom had either played DoA extensively with me, or watched me play. All of us were quite drunk and really, I'm not sure I've ever had so much fun watching a movie. Honestly.

    Tofystedeth on
    steam_sig.png
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Devon Aoki's got a weird face

    Not as weird as Tila Tequila's but still weird

    Grey Ghost on
    Bluesky|Cohost
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Devon Aoki's got a weird face

    Not as weird as Tila Tequila's but still weird

    Teeny-tinity little eyes and a giant fucking head.



    Yup.

    sarukun on
  • NiryaNirya Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Love dis movie

    Nirya on
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  • Kevin CristKevin Crist I make the devil hit his knees and say the 'our father'Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I saw this on the first week of release.

    I was one of two people in the theater.

    Kevin Crist on
    acpRlGW.jpg
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  • miscellaneousinsanitymiscellaneousinsanity grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    This was on television last night. I don't think we made it past the first ten minutes.

    miscellaneousinsanity on
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  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Man what

    that is why I made this thread, it was on TBS

    I was awed

    BlankZoe on
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  • miscellaneousinsanitymiscellaneousinsanity grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    Like, it came on after the basketball game, and I wasn't really paying attention, and I was all, 'is this some kung fu movie? that's cool I guess'
    And then some purple haired lady showed up and I was all 'Oh. It's Dead or Alive.' and then she jumped off a cliff, after my rapidly plummeting interest.

    miscellaneousinsanity on
    uc3ufTB.png
  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    edited March 2011
    She jumped off a cliff to reveal her secret pink hang-glider backpack.

    BlankZoe on
    CYpGAPn.png
  • Satanic JesusSatanic Jesus Hi, I'm Liam! with broken glassesRegistered User regular
    edited March 2011
    I picked this up ages ago for 2 euro. Not a single regret.

    Satanic Jesus on
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  • Mortal SkyMortal Sky queer punk hedge witchRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Raul Julia Street Fighter is still the best worst video game movie ever.

    Mortal Sky on
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  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    It's the best, period.

    cj iwakura on
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