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Making friends in Boston [PA Cambridge meetup Thursday]

FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
edited April 2011 in Help / Advice Forum
So I moved to Boston after graduating and I'm finding it a bit hard to meet people my age. I moved in with three guys who are 26, 32, and 33 (I'm 21) and while they're all decent people they tend to hang with a 30+ crowd that I've had trouble meshing with.

I'm a very outgoing person in general, and overall I've made friends with the people I've met over the 6 weeks I've been here, mostly by hanging out with my roommates. But at the end of the day I think the age gap, along with a few other things (they're big into techno and hard drugs, and I just kinda like that music and tend to stick to weed), makes me always feel like an outsider.

I'm used to college where I'm surrounded by all these people with similar interests about the same age, and now all of a sudden I'm plunged into this place where I effectively know no one with no real forum to meet people (like classes, or dorms, etc). My job isn't much help, I'm the youngest by far, there are only three people who are 28/29, with the rest being 40+.

It's kind of messed up because it seems like Boston is such a mecca for people my age but because I don't go to school I have no way of meeting them.

So PA forums I ask of you, how do young nomads like me come together?

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Posts

  • DemerdarDemerdar Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    What about through work?

    Demerdar on
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  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    It's mostly older people, and the only three people approaching my age are OK people but they're mostly set in their ways and aren't really interested in hanging out outside work.

    I snooped around meetup.com but it was mainly people in their mid-30s, at least in my area.

    FirstComradeStalin on
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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Have you tried ye olde meetup.com?

    Corvus on
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  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Is there, like, a knack to it? I looked around at random meetups in my area but it seemed to be mostly older people doing some pretty specific stuff. Or am I being too hard on it? I'm just afraid I'll show up at one of those things and it'll be a bunch of people in their mid-30s (judging from the pictures at least) and it'll be the same awkwardness all over again.

    Not that I can't talk to people out of my age range and have a decent time(I'm not trying to brag, but I'm much more intelligent and mature than your average 21-year-old and people always say so), but I'd like to meet people that are actually like me for a change.

    FirstComradeStalin on
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  • DemerdarDemerdar Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Short of joining some random club I'd say stick it out with your room mates. Just because they are older doesn't mean they are that much different than you. That and knowing them gives you a chance to meet their friends who might be a bit younger.

    Why did you move in with an older crowd, anyhow?

    Demerdar on
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  • TheOtherHorsemanTheOtherHorseman Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    On that note, don't rule out joining some random club. If you have a strong interest in some sort of activity, event, political movement, or whatnot, you can probably find a local group in that vein and meet like-minded humans.

    TheOtherHorseman on
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Boston can be a rather small place, as it is more difficult to get from one area of the city to another, than say, New York.

    Since you're looking for kids your age, I'd suggest looking for events or other things around the college areas. Off the Red Line you've got Davis/Porter Square with Tufts, down a bit further is Harvard (though Harvard is... well, not always the best area for stuff to do socially). Stuff happening in Allston/Brighton fits into this, as well, as you get all the BC and BU kids. They seriously run that part of town.

    I'd second meetup.

    Otherwise it's a crapshoot looking for the right bars/events that will be both social and in the age range you're looking for. I'm not on top of the student hangouts, but those areas are probably your best bet.

    Edit: I neglected to mention that the "college" areas tend to attract the post-college crowd. You'll find a bunch of obnoxious students, but also the 23-30ish range.

    The Crowing One on
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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Where are you living? This makes a big difference. I'd recommend finding some groups/clubs near you (like the sports & social club type things) to participate in. Also, just find places you like hanging out in, and hang out there. If you're outgoing, you'll eventually come across people who want to friend up.
    Note that it will be easier in the Summer and Fall, as come April all the college people already have established their friends for the year and are studying for finals.

    schuss on
  • VeritasVRVeritasVR Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Oh man. I just moved to Boston two days ago. Still looking for an apartment in Somerville/Cambridge/Arlington/Medford. I know a total of one person in Brockton and a few people from work (who I met yesterday). I am 24, but for intents and purposes I'm 22. I had the same situation you are in now when I used to work in Ohio.

    If you want to meet up, I have a good amount of time all next week.

    VeritasVR on
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    Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Allston/Brighton is indeed the college student/young hotbed, but Cambridge and Somerville are a bit more relaxed and distinguished (mainly due to the BU/BC vs. Harvard/MIT/Tufts influence). The one thing I will say is that if you're interested in it, someone in Boston is probably doing it, so go find them!

    schuss on
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    schuss wrote: »
    Allston/Brighton is indeed the college student/young hotbed, but Cambridge and Somerville are a bit more relaxed and distinguished (mainly due to the BU/BC vs. Harvard/MIT/Tufts influence).

    I'll second this. I hardly ever spend time in Allston/Brighton. Too many kids and too many hipsters. But if that's your thing, go ahead!

    Camberville is the place for most of the older-young-ish crowd. I'd start there and use meetup/the Phoenix (local paper) to find specific things to do.

    Again, a lot of it depends on where you are located, as getting from Allston to Somerville can be a long trek on public transport.

    I could be convinced to come out for a Boston H/A meet-up, I'm in Somerville quite a lot.

    The Crowing One on
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  • ChopperDaveChopperDave Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Use your college's alumni network. Chances are there's at least one person from your graduating class in Boston, and probably a fair number of people who graduated within the last five years.

    In the same vein, search facebook for young alumni groups in Boston. I'd bet that they organize a happy hour every month or so. (If they don't, organize one yourself! It ain't hard.) I went to a pretty tiny school myself, but there are still PLENTY of alumni in "young" cities like New York, D.C., Boston, Seattle, and Austin who consistently throw small events for hanging out and networking.

    Yeah, you might not have been friends with any of these people while in college, but you'd be surprised at the level of camaraderie you probably have with them, especially if you went to a smaller school. My roommate started hanging out with this guy that she barely knew from college just because they both lived and worked in D.C., and now they're pretty fast friends.

    ChopperDave on
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  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Is there, like, a knack to it? I looked around at random meetups in my area but it seemed to be mostly older people doing some pretty specific stuff. Or am I being too hard on it? I'm just afraid I'll show up at one of those things and it'll be a bunch of people in their mid-30s (judging from the pictures at least) and it'll be the same awkwardness all over again.

    Not that I can't talk to people out of my age range and have a decent time(I'm not trying to brag, but I'm much more intelligent and mature than your average 21-year-old and people always say so), but I'd like to meet people that are actually like me for a change.

    Meetup can be a crap shoot. I used it when I first moved to Dallas and didn't find anything worthwhile at first. Lots of older crowds (specially for single groups), but I finally found a group that clicked (Travel group). Most of my friends I met through that group now and we do things outside of the group.

    I recommend for looking for groups a bit outside of your normal interests. Volunteering, archery, travel, beer group, rock climbing, hiking. Actually I found a lot of the outdoor groups have a good range of ages.

    Good Luck!

    Kyougu on
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    We also need to know where he's living, as that can be a major determinant in where to look for friends, as certain places are a pain to get to/from.

    schuss on
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I snooped around meetup.com but it was mainly people in their mid-30s, at least in my area.

    This is actually one of the biggest lessons to learn about your social life post-college: your age range for friendship and social interaction now spans a much greater range than before.

    I'm 26, and even when I was freshly out of school around age 23/24 I realized that I was meeting and befriending people who ran the range of ages from 20 to 40.

    You're still pretty young, FCS, but there are few social activities that appeal to twenty-somethings that don't also appeal to thirty-somethings. Hell, some of my good friends are close to ten years older than I am. With one of my partners we don't meet the "half her age plus seven" rule.

    You can't avoid the older folks, but you'll soon (within the next few years) realize that you have more in common with them than you do with the kids still in school.

    The Crowing One on
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  • Pure DinPure Din Boston-areaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I think age doesn't make as much of a difference once you're out of college, but when you're just out, it is nice to make friends with people who are also just starting out. I'm 24, and found it hard to make that shift out of college to adult right away.

    btw, if you live in somerville and are into board games and pen and paper roleplaying, PM me because my bf moved there last year and he's still hasn't found many people to play with who aren't total flakes :\

    Pure Din on
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Okay, Stalin, wanna do an H/A meetup? We're nice peoples!

    The Crowing One on
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  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Sure! I live in Cambridge and work in Back Bay, for reference. What's the list? The Crowing One? VeritasVR? Pure Din/Pure Din's boyfriend?

    And I guess I should check the alumni network, too.

    FirstComradeStalin on
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  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Send me a time and place and I'm in too. Though I mostly lurk H/A.

    thorgot on
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  • Pure DinPure Din Boston-areaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Oooh, sounds fun.

    Pure Din on
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I'm up for a drink or something sometime after work too, as I work in the Back Bay 2-3 days a week.

    schuss on
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    [strike]Wednesday[/strike]Thursday @730 we're meeting at The Field

    Anyone interested feel free to come down, so far our best idea for a signal is to just walk in and start shouting "STALIN!"

    FirstComradeStalin on
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  • Pure DinPure Din Boston-areaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Nooooooo, Wednesday is no good for me... *sniffle*

    Pure Din on
  • VeritasVRVeritasVR Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Wednesday @730 we're meeting at The Field

    Anyone interested feel free to come down, so far our best idea for a signal is to just walk in and start shouting "STALIN!"

    Yes. This will be awesome.

    VeritasVR on
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    Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    OK so how about Thursday? I'll get all unilateral up in this and change it, since everyone else seems to be pretty open for times.

    TOTP....

    Thursday, 730 @ The Field

    FirstComradeStalin on
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  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Thursday 7:30 works!

    Just let me know the final day/time before Wednesday morning!

    The Crowing One on
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  • Pure DinPure Din Boston-areaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    OK so how about Thursday? I'll get all unilateral up in this and change it, since everyone else seems to be pretty open for times.

    TOTP....

    Thursday, 730 @ The Field

    Yayayayayayay!!!!!!!!

    Pure Din on
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Perhaps another time. Leaving for SF the next morning, so I must pack and attend to things.

    schuss on
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    oh maaan I used to go there. I miss you, Boston.

    riz on
  • twotimesadingotwotimesadingo Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I'll swing by. Preemptive apologies to all if I'm already half in the bag; gettin' free liquor poured down my gullet right after work by the losers of a bet.



    Bucking the trend and yelling "Lenin."

    twotimesadingo on
    PSN: peepshowofforce
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I'll be +1, and I may or may not be a touch late.

    It could be a good idea to make a little "H/A" sign by folding over a piece of heavy paper.

    The Crowing One on
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  • MxWoodMxWood Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I suggest going to the PAX forums and look at the Boston meetup thread, they've been kind of a monthly thing since PAX east.

    MxWood on
  • The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Looks like I can't make it tonight. I'll be away from Boston. Sorry all!

    The Crowing One on
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  • thorgotthorgot there is special providence in the fall of a sparrowRegistered User regular
    edited April 2011
    Heading out, I'll be there in around 30 minutes.

    thorgot on
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  • VeritasVRVeritasVR Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    After-action report:

    Awesome times were had. People from the PA boards are best people. Looking forward to making more friends in Boston.

    Mission accomplished.

    Also, shouting "STALIN!" when there's no one really listening really makes you stand out... and awkward.

    VeritasVR on
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    Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
  • twotimesadingotwotimesadingo Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    I ended up getting there around 8:45, and was wandering around asking groups of people if they read their Marx. I didn't meet any of you folks, but did have quite a few interesting conversations. So even when a H/A meetup doesn't work out, good times are had.

    Maybe we can swing something like this again, and I won't be already liquored-up and late?

    twotimesadingo on
    PSN: peepshowofforce
  • VeritasVRVeritasVR Registered User regular
    edited April 2011
    We learned that PA board meet-ups are definitely encouraged. However, as MxWood said, we might want to join the PAX thread for these.

    VeritasVR on
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    Let 'em eat fucking pineapples!
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited April 2011
    Generally speaking, this isn't really the best subforum for this sort of thread; the PAX one is almost certainly better, especially if they have an established thread for Boston. I'm glad everyone had a good time.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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