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wangtecture
dysfunctionalt
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
Soo embarassing problem times internet. I can't get it up. My penis. And it is really starting to frustrate me.
I will now provide all the information that I feel is pertinent. I'm American. I'm 24. I've been single for about two years. I had a bad break up with my last girlfriend, which probably took me way longer than it should have to get over. In the first year of being single I frequently hooked up with one of my friends, but we never had sex because she didn't want to. As far as I can remember I had no problem getting hard when hooking up with her.
After that stopped I had no prospects for about six months, and since then I've briefly dated/one night standed four girls and had little to no response downstairs. 2 of the times can probably be attributed to alcohol but the other two times I was sober (or basically sober).
It's really starting to bother me a lot because it strongly effects my confidence with the opposite sex. Has anyone been through something like this? How did you get out of it? Does the fact that I can still masturbate fine mean that it is not medical? help me H/A, you're my only hope.
I will now provide all the information that I feel is pertinent. I'm American. I'm 24. I've been single for about two years. I had a bad break up with my last girlfriend, which probably took me way longer than it should have to get over. In the first year of being single I frequently hooked up with one of my friends, but we never had sex because she didn't want to. As far as I can remember I had no problem getting hard when hooking up with her.
After that stopped I had no prospects for about six months, and since then I've briefly dated/one night standed four girls and had little to no response downstairs. 2 of the times can probably be attributed to alcohol but the other two times I was sober (or basically sober).
It's really starting to bother me a lot because it strongly effects my confidence with the opposite sex. Has anyone been through something like this? How did you get out of it? Does the fact that I can still masturbate fine mean that it is not medical? help me H/A, you're my only hope.
dysfunctionalt on
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If you do then you are still attracted to women (at least in some way). Sounds like you just didn't find these girls attractive.. it happens.
HerbaLife caused my wang to act similar to the couple verses of this song:
Warning! NSFW, also not terribly sensitive to the problem. However, it is funny!
But seriously if you're taking that stuff, stop now. It took me a month or more get whatever it was out of my system. Very embarrassing and slightly scary, as I had no idea if it would come back! Then I started to doubt it would get erect, and worry about it, and that made it more difficult, and... blargh. Bad mental spiral. The worry lasted another month or so, honestly, and my wife was very serious about helping me get over it.
Did the drunk performance problems come before the non-drunk ones? You really might have just rattled yourself enough to make it a challenge. It's possible to do... I'm really not sure what to tell you to get past it though. A sexy woman who you trust not to give you grief will go a long way.
It was practically impossible to write this post without innuendo and puns... I'm still not sure I succeeded.
What you really mean is that you can't get it up *in front of women*. Your penis seems to still be functioning correctly, but just not when you're trying to have sex with someone.
That's exceedingly common, especially as men get older, and it's largely psychological. You get nervous, stressed out, overstimulated, etc. When you're with a new woman, your mind might be trying to take in the whole situation and not letting you focus, which makes sense how it would affect your penis. When you masturbate, you're focusing entirely on you, and you're comfortable. When you're with a woman, you're worried about what they think about you naked, you're trying to take in everything about them being naked, you're thinking about your performance, what to do, and so on.
Two things: next time you're dating a girl, don't masturbate. And ease into sex, rather than just trying to strip and fuck.
In other words, give your body a little time away from porn and your own touch so you're more naturally horny. Then, when you're with a girl, don't just turn off the lights and hop in the sack -- try to make the experience comfortable for you. Maybe have the lights on so you can see her, or set up some guidelines for the first experience -- state that you're not going to have sex, but being naked, touching with hands, and so on, is OK and encouraged. That'll help you get more comfortable not only with her body but also with your own nakedness in front of her.
What eggytoast said. It would only be a medical thing if you couldn't get it up period. Sounds like you've been out the game for a while and lost your mojo. Don't rush, ease back into things slowly and stay the fuck out your own head when there's a lady around.
Sounds so simple on paper but it's really hard in real life once you've got into the bad habit. Might want to consider *ONE* drink, enough to take the edge off your nerves but not enough to affect the downstairs dept.
Also stop jacking off.
The way I dealt with it was simple, I stopped caring if I was good at sex, or that it was even sex. It was just something me and her were doing that was suppose to be fun, not mind blowingly amazing. So I put my expectations of my self on hold, and just went with it.
Now, after being able to get erect, I did have another problem which took a bit to overcome (haha). I couldn't get off. Again, it was all about nerves and comfort levels. Once I got comfortable with her and most importantly myself I was able to get off, be erect, ext.
This was all around 2 years ago. Now if only I could last longer than 4-5 minutes. Ha!
Remember, if you're doing a lot of foreplay, YOU need stimulation, too. It's hard to just hold an erection without any attention for long periods of time, no matter how aroused you are.
Appreciate it!
I have been reading about this recently online and discovered this site:
www.yourbrainonporn.com
The argument they are making seems to make sense to me and I would suggest you have a look at it anyways. (Basically about porn overstimulating/overloading your brain with Dopamine and changing the amount of receptors etc. over time)
I am by no means a doctor though :P and it might be a good idea to get checked out by one. This is just something that I think makes sense and that I am trying out myself.
Let me know what you think!
Are you in good shape? Do you exercise? This is an often overlooked aspect of this problem. You need to increase vital yang energy- err... I mean blood circulation.
If the president had any real power, he'd be able to live wherever the fuck he wanted.
My suggestion: You need to get over any anxiety by diverting attention away from it. Ask her to focus on doing something sexy for you. She can kiss you, put on a show, whatever. You can also ask to focus just on her and use not expect any reciprocation. Nothing gives sexual confidence like giving someone else an orgasm.
Secret Satan
The best way to increase your sex drive is regular sexual activity; keeps you "in the habit," so to speak.
OP's problem, as folks have hit on already, is that he hasn't gotten down in a while and gets nervous when he places expectations on himself. Solution is to get with a girl you're comfortable with (i.e. while not just-left-the-club-drunk) and let the nerves work themselves out. Alternatively just do the foreplay/oral sex thing with the lady. Gives you some time to get your head in order and they generally appreciate it.
Also, that website talking about "internet superporn?" el oh el
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
If its the former, then that's your problem.
Porn is easy, because its no pressure. no judgement. no expectation. when you turn on some porn, what going through your mind? is it... Titties, YAY!?