Amateur poetry

GingerBreadManGingerBreadMan Registered User new member
edited June 2011 in Artist's Corner
Hello all,
I've followed PA for many years but never really got into the forums much, and now I am starting to.
I haven't written much but I have a couple poems I have written over the years. I think they are pretty decent and I was hoping for some feedback from everyone. Just let me know if you enjoy them, hate them, find any fault with them or if they made you feel something (hopefully this is the case because that is what art is about right). I write whats in my heart at the moment and so I am not very technical in my writing. The styles just come out as I write. I don't try to think about it much when writing in order to keep the sincerity of the emotion. There are 3 of them and I will post them below. Any feedback of any sort is appreciated. Hopefully you enjoy them. If not, well you won't hurt my feelings.

And Then
And then
he walked
he stalked
he balked
at the absurdity
of his alacrity
he milled
he willed
he killed
he smiled
he defiled
he beguiled

And then
he left
he faced the cleft
he was bereft
he felt a tide
he was pulled aside
by death’s pride

And then…

dark room
I’m alone in this dark room.
Why do the walls hurt to touch?
Why are there no windows?
There is no door.
No way for me to leave.
I have tried to escape.
Physically I cannot leave this place.
All I see is dark.
Maybe someone can find my room.
There is nothing in this room.
Only a small child cowering.
Only a small child crying.
His sobs and tears causing me pain.
If nothing stops the child then I must.
But if I take action,
I’m alone in this dark room.

Insecurities flowing
Vulnerabilities raging

Thoughts of uncertainty
Thoughts of inevitability

Broken soul, same errors
Inner demon, unthinkable terrors

The snake whispering untold flaws
The self fighting for applause

Frenzied quest for acceptance
Falsely confident stance

Soul dictation, soul resting
Darkness subsiding

GingerBreadMan on


  • Options
    BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    This might do better in the Writer's Block subforum.

    This forum is mainly for visual art.

    Brolo on
  • Options
    GingerBreadManGingerBreadMan Registered User new member
    edited June 2011
    Ok i will move it, thank you

    GingerBreadMan on
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