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Oddest personals

DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
edited February 2007 in Social Entropy++
Ok, so I'm spending my Sat morning posting on the restored forum and browsing through my copy of The Stranger when I come across this in the personals section:
spicy_cajun_sausages wrote:
SEXPOT DISNEY LOVER
A lonely ass-taster waiting for some funny. I have Swedish lisp and lacey garter belt under my suit. Up for anything kinky, especially candy cane dashes and Spanish eyes. If you're in a cult, that's hot! Try my homemade gumbo.

:arrow:

What's the most bizarre personal you've seen lately? No, we're not talking grouphug. We're talking actual personal ads.

belruelotterav-1.jpg
Druhim on
«13

Posts

  • FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    It sounds like a coded message.

    Framling on
    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
  • bongibongi regular
    edited February 2007
    there was like a book of these

    the only one i remember was

    "send me a list of your ten favourite things so i know what to take when we split up"

    bongi on
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    There's a section of fucked up personals in the city pages here in Minneapolis
    I'll try to find a copy when I go out today and post the best ones.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • As7As7 Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Silly atomic skull looks for partner to share electrons with. Strong ion component preferred. I am into neutron sharing, atomic splicing, and clacking. Complex organic molecules need not apply. Meet me at the corner of row 4 and column 15. Bring lube.

    As7 on
    XBOX Live: Arsenic7
    Secret Satan
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2007
    I admit that I'm curious how good his/her gumbo is.

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Sam found this pozzing ad and posted a picture of the guy who wrote it, and he looked exactly like my boss

    My boss who got me a huge bottle of chardonnay for Christmas

    Redeemer on
    25jyxzr.jpg
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2007
    I remember that. You could stand to lose a few pounds though.

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • GigatonGigaton Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Pretty much anything on Craigslist personal adds are ridiculously fucked up. Especially the M4M.

    ......

    I was curious...and lonely.

    Gigaton on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    i could go for some gumbo right now

    Knob on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2007
    Gigaton wrote: »
    Pretty much anything on Craigslist personal adds are ridiculously fucked up. Especially the M4M.

    ......

    I was curious...and lonely.

    Be honest, was it...Borfase?

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    One of my original secret santa gifts for Scarlet was going to be taking one of his camwhore pictures and posting an ad in the Minnesota craigslist, requesting M4M pozzing action.

    I got him taffy instead :B

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Druhim wrote:
    spicy_cajun_sausages wrote:
    SEXPOT DISNEY LOVER
    A lonely ass-taster waiting for some funny. I have Swedish lisp and lacey garter belt under my suit. Up for anything kinky, especially candy cane dashes and Spanish eyes. If you're in a cult, that's hot! Try my homemade gumbo.

    . . . Mom?

    Sheri on
    lE6sj.jpg
    Sheri Baldwin Photography | Facebook | Twitter | Etsy Shop | BUY ME STUFF (updated for 2014!)
  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Sheri wrote: »
    . . . Mom?

    horrible images

    running through my mind

    The Otaku Suppository on
  • Seattle ThreadSeattle Thread Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    HEY BIG EYEZ!
    YoUr HaWtWtWtW. eyes are gorgeous and your uber jailbait. i hate you and your coachella festival. love -me

    Seattle Thread on
    kofz2amsvqm3.png
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »
    horrible images

    running through my mind

    Really, the only part that applies to her is the Disney part.

    She doesn't have a Swedish lisp or anything.

    Sheri on
    lE6sj.jpg
    Sheri Baldwin Photography | Facebook | Twitter | Etsy Shop | BUY ME STUFF (updated for 2014!)
  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Sheri wrote: »
    Really, the only part that applies to her is the Disney part.

    She doesn't have a Swedish lisp or anything.

    Put her in a bag to be sure.

    Also this vbulletin reminds me of the days of FFH.

    The Otaku Suppository on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    if you come visit me i'll cook you dinner and you can sleep in my bed

    Knob on
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »
    Put her in a bag to be sure.

    Also this vbulletin reminds me of the days of FFH.

    Hah

    FFH

    Now I feel old.

    Did you ever post at FFA?

    Sheri on
    lE6sj.jpg
    Sheri Baldwin Photography | Facebook | Twitter | Etsy Shop | BUY ME STUFF (updated for 2014!)
  • GigatonGigaton Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I just found this phrase in a real add:

    "Fuck my handsome face discreetly"

    Gigaton on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2007
    Sheri wrote: »
    . . . Mom?

    Great, now I need to bleach my brain!

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • GigatonGigaton Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Holy shit, this has to be the most bizzare personal add I have ever seen on a hookup site.

    Headline: "I am City Homes East resident; my house is haunted; want a tour? - 40"
    Ad: "...and i'm serious. i've seen the ghosts. almost every night. if ur cool, i'll give you a tour of the place. some friends are on the way over, so we can make it a party. i'll even buy some food and drink if we have enough people.

    this isn't a pick up line....i have seen the ghosts. they are pretty friendly, i think, but still scarey.

    either way...ghosts or no ghosts, let's party all night.

    hit me up with pics for details.

    (you can use my place for hook up if u r totally cool)

    happy ghosting!"

    What the Fuck?!?!

    Gigaton on
  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Sheri wrote: »
    Hah

    FFH

    Now I feel old.

    Did you ever post at FFA?

    Yeah for about a year when FFH started to taper off.

    I was even a gen chat mod. Whodathunk?

    The Otaku Suppository on
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    The Otaku Inquisition wrote: »
    Yeah for about a year when FFH started to taper off.

    I was even a gen chat mod. Whodathunk?

    Wait, of FFA?

    Whoa.

    Sheri on
    lE6sj.jpg
    Sheri Baldwin Photography | Facebook | Twitter | Etsy Shop | BUY ME STUFF (updated for 2014!)
  • TrillianTrillian Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    I wish I saved the ad for that plumper who wanted to make hot hot love to any guy with an epic World of Warcraft char.

    In terms of personal ads was pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel.

    Trillian on

    They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2007
    Crap Tril, that's pretty fucked up.

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • JayraeJayrae Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Also in the Stranger, a couple years ago:

    "NINJA SEEKS PIRATE for flipping-out purposes. Also seeking other ninjas."

    I regret not responding, but I am neither a pirate nor a ninja.

    Jayrae on
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited February 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2007
    Jayrae wrote: »
    Also in the Stranger, a couple years ago:

    "NINJA SEEKS PIRATE for flipping-out purposes. Also seeking other ninjas."

    I regret not responding, but I am neither a pirate nor a ninja.

    But that's so obviously a joke and even at that, it's just repeating memes instead of actually saying anything creative.

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    man the stranger is such a goldmine for this shit

    I remember women who wanted to clean dude's skidmarks with their tongues and shit

    man I wanted to call some of those numbers

    just be all

    No fuckin way, you'll really do that shit? That's jus fuckin' nasty, B. I mean, that's like salmonella nasty, but whatever, just don't expect me to kiss ya after.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • Seattle ThreadSeattle Thread Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    looking for a guy with less then average - w4m

    I am a little tight and the last couple guys I was with left me sore for days. I kept asking them to just put it in half way but no one listens lol. Not like they were huge or anything either, but this made them feel better to hear me in pain. I guess it made them feel "big". So here i am on craigslist trying to find a guy with less then a 6 inch penis. Kind of strange request hunh ?
    Contact me if you want to see what I look like and you know I want to see you and your thing.

    Seattle Thread on
    kofz2amsvqm3.png
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    It sure makes me feel good when my partner is crying.

    Sheri on
    lE6sj.jpg
    Sheri Baldwin Photography | Facebook | Twitter | Etsy Shop | BUY ME STUFF (updated for 2014!)
  • Seattle ThreadSeattle Thread Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Oh god, this one too:
    looking for a FATTY - w4m - 24

    chubby girl looking to hook up with a HUGE man! I love FAT bellies. Gainer/feeder = a huge plus. If you are BIG and horny emial me! Will only respond to pix.

    Seattle Thread on
    kofz2amsvqm3.png
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    Sheri wrote: »
    It sure makes me feel good when my partner is crying.

    me too

    Knob on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    oh, that was sarcasm

    Knob on
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    It was?

    Sheri on
    lE6sj.jpg
    Sheri Baldwin Photography | Facebook | Twitter | Etsy Shop | BUY ME STUFF (updated for 2014!)
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2007
    yeah

    Knob on
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Oh, okay.

    Sheri on
    lE6sj.jpg
    Sheri Baldwin Photography | Facebook | Twitter | Etsy Shop | BUY ME STUFF (updated for 2014!)
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    At Comic-Con in 2005 we gave adult BBW personal ads to Manifest.

    Well, it was Shibby that handed it to him. Who else would've?

    Moriveth on
  • Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    FFH can burn
    FFO fo lyfe

    Dely Apple on
    feets.jpg
  • AirAir Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Makershot wrote: »

    whats the number

    Air on
    darjeelingshortsig95.jpg
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Penny Arcade Forums› Social Entropy++