Surely a designer could find work in New York City more easily than in Australia?
Of course, thats assuming she would want to move. She may not.
I was thinking this also. Jobs might be easier to come by in australia. With you banking that much you could probably support her for a little while and see how things work out or if they dont ship her back to australia. But... you would be living together after only 3 months. And going from seeing each other 1-5 times a week to 24/7 is a whole different relatonship. Also she might get lonely with you working that 60-70 hour per week job (if you make that much you most likely will have to ut in some more hours than ussual).
At 27 its always best to go full-bore career. This maybe that once in a lifetime opportunity.
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Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
edited June 2011
I guess it also depends what kind of designer. An interior designer is likely going to find bucketloads of work in NYC, a landscape designer is probably not.
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The_Glad_HatterOne Sly FoxUnderneath a Groovy HatRegistered Userregular
edited June 2011
This may be getting ahead a little bit, but If she ever moved to NY and didn't find a job immediately, having a wage such as your offers her some nice breathing room to work up a really great portfolio.
It would even allow her to take up one of those "work-for-practically-nothing" "internships" many firms offer.
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Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
edited June 2011
From having a family member who is a designer, I can tell you that a reliable financial situation providing freedom to work up a portfolio is a designer's DREAM.
Do not try to make a decision for her that she is not going to want you to support her, because it may be the biggest opportunity of her own life, career-wise, to have found someone who is willing to finance her to move to New York, provide a stable financial base for her to jump-start her own career, and be a great relationship to boot.
Just stating best-case scenarios here, keep in mind though.
So, I hate the be the realist late in this thread, but speaking from some experience here, the odds of her coming with him are basically approaching 0. Irregardless of how she feels about him, the US isn't going to let her just come and hang out till she finds a job. That's not how it works.
My wife is a Korean citizen, so I have a bit of experience here. You need a reason for coming. School, job (pre-existing), marriage... something. You can't just come and hang out... so... unless she already has a job opportunity where the employer is willing to sponsor here over here, in NYC, this is sort of out of the question.
As to the actual question at hand here, a few other people in this thread have already said it, and I'm going to reinforce it here... at 3 months I knew I was going to marry my wife. Hell, I broke up with her because I was actually kind of frightened by that (one of many factors). I'm not saying you should already know if "she's it"... I'm just saying that if there's a voice in your head telling you so, you deserve to at least know what it means. That being said, I'm sort of "meh" at your "long distance doesn't work for me" statement. If she's that interesting to you, then it shouldn't matter if you're in NYC or on the moon... you'd do what you have to to make it happen.
My wife and I did long distance for a bit... I probably have an interesting perspective on this because to me summers in korea/indonesia really aren't that different from her being a 3 hour drive away... except of course I can't just hop in a car and go see her. The complications of work (I'm a web dev and we work 60+ hour weeks regardless of pay) and timezone are pretty similar, also weird hours when your significant other is half a world away is not a problem. Long distance is all about schedule... establish one.
Finally... As much as I'm all for "the girl" in this... I too have to vote for "take the job". But I think ceres is ABSOLUTELY 100% right here... talk to the girl asap. Nothing will blow up in your face faster than her not getting some forewarning on this stuff. And given your own leanings towards professional expansion, you will probably kick yourself if stuff doesn't work out with her.
Also... if I may, back on the topic of Long Distance and relationships in general. The only people who can make a relationship work, are the people who commit to making a relationship work. If you want her, separation will not make a difference, job, income, etc... none of these things should actually stand in the way. You both just have to commit to making it work. Obviously, at 3 months that may be a little overzealous, and she may not be on board with that ideal yet. That's OK. If you commit to it, for yourself, then you are doing everything in your power to get everything you want. Just don't sabotage it ;-)
BerkshireEarth Federal ForcesMassachusettsRegistered Userregular
edited June 2011
Dude. Seriously.
Take the job. As people have said (and said better, moreover), there are TONS of women in New York, and a rich guy with an accent will basically have his pick. I get your feelings for this girl, but you should probably ask yourself (if you haven't yet) if those feelings are related to wanting a future with her or if you're reluctant to leave because it's cutting off an opportunity.
Cutting off opportunities is hard. I don't do it well myself. But from a third person perspective, man, I'd call this one a no-brainer. Good luck with whatever you choose- you're obviously a smart guy, I'm sure you'll make things work out whether you stay or go.
We should all be so lucky as to have such dilemmas.
Berkshire on
"And don't you ever stand for that sort of thing. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back."
GT: FootlongKaPow
Gotta' agree with Eclipse here, I guess. I'm not opposed to the job, it sounds wonderful, so if you can find a way to have your cake and eat it too, go for it. I don't know immigration rules, but that's definitely something to look into, if she wants to go. Anyway, +1 for Eclipse.
Hey, are we sure this job is located in New York City proper? Or just "New York" the state? Cause OP could be expecting all these fine women and end up in Buffalo.
Hey, are we sure this job is located in New York City proper? Or just "New York" the state? Cause OP could be expecting all these fine women and end up in Buffalo.
The job is on Wall Street, so fortunately I won't have to contend with Buffalo.
I am speaking to my old Boss tomorrow and getting a timeline from her in terms of when I need to 100% commit, so I guess we'll go from there... really really enjoying my time with the girl, but I won't close off any options unless absolutely necessary...
It appears I have managed to have my cake and eat it too...
After speaking to my old boss I told her my concerns. She then pulled a virtual rabbit out of the hat - she has sorted out a contract position for me here for the next 8-12 months, but has also negotiated internally to hold the position in NY for me for the period - essentially, I will work in Sydney on a couple important projects and then once completed I can make my choice about what I want to do.
This is ideal as it allows me time to sort out my private life (ie determine whether or not the girl is worth it, which I am tending to think yes at the moment) and then make an informed decision. Plus after a year its much more likely she'll be interested in following me as well.
So looks like things are going to work out one way or another and I won't be pressured to make a "snap" decision. Thanks again for all the replies!
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
edited July 2011
I don't know about the girl and what that future will hold, but you lucked into an excellent contact who genuinely wants to make you happy to keep you around.
Now cling! Cling to this contact and do not let go!
Seriously, though. If she needs a favor in the near future, you might want to consider just asking how high and into what you need to jump.
ceres on
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
Take the job but talk it out with your girl and see how she feels about a long-distance relationship.
Beware though, it might end up like a second job in itself depending on the needyness of the two of you.
Excellent! The only thing I'd suggest is broach the moving abroad thing with your girl soon--if she needs to find a job/get a visa or other paperwork to be in the US for an extended period of time the sooner she does so the better.
Posts
Of course, thats assuming she would want to move. She may not.
I was thinking this also. Jobs might be easier to come by in australia. With you banking that much you could probably support her for a little while and see how things work out or if they dont ship her back to australia. But... you would be living together after only 3 months. And going from seeing each other 1-5 times a week to 24/7 is a whole different relatonship. Also she might get lonely with you working that 60-70 hour per week job (if you make that much you most likely will have to ut in some more hours than ussual).
At 27 its always best to go full-bore career. This maybe that once in a lifetime opportunity.
It would even allow her to take up one of those "work-for-practically-nothing" "internships" many firms offer.
Do not try to make a decision for her that she is not going to want you to support her, because it may be the biggest opportunity of her own life, career-wise, to have found someone who is willing to finance her to move to New York, provide a stable financial base for her to jump-start her own career, and be a great relationship to boot.
Just stating best-case scenarios here, keep in mind though.
My wife is a Korean citizen, so I have a bit of experience here. You need a reason for coming. School, job (pre-existing), marriage... something. You can't just come and hang out... so... unless she already has a job opportunity where the employer is willing to sponsor here over here, in NYC, this is sort of out of the question.
As to the actual question at hand here, a few other people in this thread have already said it, and I'm going to reinforce it here... at 3 months I knew I was going to marry my wife. Hell, I broke up with her because I was actually kind of frightened by that (one of many factors). I'm not saying you should already know if "she's it"... I'm just saying that if there's a voice in your head telling you so, you deserve to at least know what it means. That being said, I'm sort of "meh" at your "long distance doesn't work for me" statement. If she's that interesting to you, then it shouldn't matter if you're in NYC or on the moon... you'd do what you have to to make it happen.
My wife and I did long distance for a bit... I probably have an interesting perspective on this because to me summers in korea/indonesia really aren't that different from her being a 3 hour drive away... except of course I can't just hop in a car and go see her. The complications of work (I'm a web dev and we work 60+ hour weeks regardless of pay) and timezone are pretty similar, also weird hours when your significant other is half a world away is not a problem. Long distance is all about schedule... establish one.
Finally... As much as I'm all for "the girl" in this... I too have to vote for "take the job". But I think ceres is ABSOLUTELY 100% right here... talk to the girl asap. Nothing will blow up in your face faster than her not getting some forewarning on this stuff. And given your own leanings towards professional expansion, you will probably kick yourself if stuff doesn't work out with her.
Also... if I may, back on the topic of Long Distance and relationships in general. The only people who can make a relationship work, are the people who commit to making a relationship work. If you want her, separation will not make a difference, job, income, etc... none of these things should actually stand in the way. You both just have to commit to making it work. Obviously, at 3 months that may be a little overzealous, and she may not be on board with that ideal yet. That's OK. If you commit to it, for yourself, then you are doing everything in your power to get everything you want. Just don't sabotage it ;-)
Eclipse
Twitter
Take the job. As people have said (and said better, moreover), there are TONS of women in New York, and a rich guy with an accent will basically have his pick. I get your feelings for this girl, but you should probably ask yourself (if you haven't yet) if those feelings are related to wanting a future with her or if you're reluctant to leave because it's cutting off an opportunity.
Cutting off opportunities is hard. I don't do it well myself. But from a third person perspective, man, I'd call this one a no-brainer. Good luck with whatever you choose- you're obviously a smart guy, I'm sure you'll make things work out whether you stay or go.
We should all be so lucky as to have such dilemmas.
GT: FootlongKaPow
3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348 www.Twitch.TV/cooljammer00
Battle.Net: JohnDarc#1203 Origin/UPlay: CoolJammer00
So less chicks and more wings?
sorry if it's been asked before.
"FYI I am a dual qualified lawyer "
The job is on Wall Street, so fortunately I won't have to contend with Buffalo.
I am speaking to my old Boss tomorrow and getting a timeline from her in terms of when I need to 100% commit, so I guess we'll go from there... really really enjoying my time with the girl, but I won't close off any options unless absolutely necessary...
It appears I have managed to have my cake and eat it too...
After speaking to my old boss I told her my concerns. She then pulled a virtual rabbit out of the hat - she has sorted out a contract position for me here for the next 8-12 months, but has also negotiated internally to hold the position in NY for me for the period - essentially, I will work in Sydney on a couple important projects and then once completed I can make my choice about what I want to do.
This is ideal as it allows me time to sort out my private life (ie determine whether or not the girl is worth it, which I am tending to think yes at the moment) and then make an informed decision. Plus after a year its much more likely she'll be interested in following me as well.
So looks like things are going to work out one way or another and I won't be pressured to make a "snap" decision. Thanks again for all the replies!
:^: Best of luck dude.
Twitter
Keep up the good work?
Now cling! Cling to this contact and do not let go!
Seriously, though. If she needs a favor in the near future, you might want to consider just asking how high and into what you need to jump.
Take the job but talk it out with your girl and see how she feels about a long-distance relationship.
Beware though, it might end up like a second job in itself depending on the needyness of the two of you.