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What should be my next move? [Girl thread]

KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
edited July 2011 in Help / Advice Forum
So here's the gist of things:

I meet a girl about a month ago, but quickly learn that not only are three friends interested in her, but she's probably intersted in a friend (who ends up with a gf not long after) . None the less we proceed to hang out in a group setting and by the third hangout we are exchanging playful hugs through out the night and even friends start commenting that we would make a cute couple.

So I decide to ask her out but she says he may be busy with previous plans. She says she will let le know and the day afterwards she calls me after she has gotten off work. Seems she has had a late day. She suggest trying to meet up later in the week, but since I'm going out of town we end up tentatively planning for something the week of my return.

Well during my trip I decide to keep communication open and just send her a text asking how her work is going. No response after a few days.

So what should be my next move? Do I call her next week after I return? Or I do I wait it out, as we are suppose to hang out with friends next week anyways? Do I take her non response as a blow off?

Kyougu on

Posts

  • EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    Sometimes people are busy. Just text her on your return about hanging out.

    Also, did you "ask her out" or did you ask her to do something? She may not realize you're planning this out as a date.

  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    I was pretty clear about asking her out. Even mentioned that I wanted the chance to see her before I left

  • EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    Kyougu wrote:
    I was pretty clear about asking her out. Even mentioned that I wanted the chance to see her before I left

    You're probably just over thinking things. You'll find out when you get back. Someone not texting you back isn't a sign of being blown off (unless it was when you were supposed to be actually making plans). Text her once the day you get back and leave it at that.

  • Skoal CatSkoal Cat Registered User regular
    Reel it back, calm down, over thinking can lead to unneeded stress. What Esh is saying is true, there is a lot that could be happening that would explain some very simple things. It doesn't sound like you're getting blown off. Unless you have solid plans, call her and make them. I'm going to stress calling her to make the plans, not texting her.

  • EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    Skoal Cat wrote:
    Reel it back, calm down, over thinking can lead to unneeded stress. What Esh is saying is true, there is a lot that could be happening that would explain some very simple things. It doesn't sound like you're getting blown off. Unless you have solid plans, call her and make them. I'm going to stress calling her to make the plans, not texting her.

    Ah yeah, what Skoal said. CALL HER when you get back. Don't text. If she doesn't answer, leave a message. Don't keep calling back.

  • THEPAIN73THEPAIN73 Shiny. Real shiny.Registered User regular
    Call ONCE

    That is the most important thing.

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  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Candy IslandRegistered User regular
    Yeah, seems like everything is going fine right now. Don't hit the texts too hard.

    and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
    but they're listening to every word I say
  • NeadenNeaden Registered User regular
    This is why I am of the opinion texts are bad for this sort of thing, too much possibility for miscommunication and over thinking things.

  • BoomShakeBoomShake The Engineer Columbia, MDRegistered User regular
    Neaden wrote:
    This is why I am of the opinion texts are bad for this sort of thing, too much possibility for miscommunication and over thinking things.

    Christ, this is the truth. Texts are great at conveying little bits of time-insensitive information, information to groups, or, in a pinch, information when one (or both) parties are in a situation where talking on the phone isn't an option. Casual conversation is possibly the worst purpose to use them for, despite how popular it seems to be among the younger crowd.

  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    You barely know her, it's weird to be that casual in a text - "How's work going?" doesn't really have an answer. If you're communicating with her, make sure it has a purpose, like trying to arrange another date. Call or text, whatever seems right, it's different nowadays.

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