It sucks to be SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder)

Altdotnet

Posting under an alt because even on the internet this is pretty embarrassing for me.

Basically I think I might have social anxiety disorder. I've always been pretty shy and awkward, I thought it was normal for me. But lately I've been thinking it's far beyond what most people would consider normal shyness. After reading up on wikipedia (I know, I know) most of the symptoms fit me to a T.

I have a huge problem talking to new people. I am constantly trying to make a good impression on everyone I meet, and feel horrible when I think I have failed (usually). Part of my job involves dealing with customers, and if one of them is giving me a hard time I get really flustered, and feel like I can't breathe. I'm constantly thinking about interactions I had during the day and rating how well they went. Then thinking about how I could have done better. I absolutely dread talking on the phone. I have a really hard time making and maintaining eye contact.

Part of me wonders if this is normal. I mean, everyone gets nervous sometimes right? But then another part thinks this is far beyond what's normal and it's running my life. I guess my question to you guys is, have any of you been, or know someone who has been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder? I am curious about what treatments are available and how effective they are. I'm also worried about how to ask for help. I've spent such a long time trying to hide it that I'm afraid my family wouldn't take me seriously.

republic of me

My advice would be tell your concerns to a psychologist, It sounds to me like your getting overly worked up and think you have this because you feel the need to justify yourself. You are you and not anyone else from what you said there you just sound to be a nice, sensitive quiet person and that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Just because your not a prancing facebook posing camera whore, you dont like conflict and you are slightly awkward around strangers doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you it just means you are you. But i do recommend going to a professional if you do have concerns however.

joshofalltrades

I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder and it sounds sort of similar. My problem is that I tend not to put myself in those awkward and anxious situations unless I'm sure it will be neither awkward nor anxious, so I tend to just avoid socializing whenever possible.

You should see a doctor and get a real diagnosis. Do you go to school, or a church? Lots of times those organizations will have free counseling for you. Lots of times employers offer it too.

Altdotnet

joshofalltrades wrote:

I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder and it sounds sort of similar. My problem is that I tend not to put myself in those awkward and anxious situations unless I'm sure it will be neither awkward nor anxious, so I tend to just avoid socializing whenever possible.

You should see a doctor and get a real diagnosis. Do you go to school, or a church? Lots of times those organizations will have free counseling for you. Lots of times employers offer it too.

Sadly, no to both. I pretty much have to talk to my family doctor. Which worries me again, but anyway. I always have a hard time trying to explain it to friends and family because their advice is always "Stop worrying so much! Join a club and make some friends." Which to me seems like the equivalent of telling an alcoholic just not to drink so much.

I am a member of a club, I have friends, I interact with people on a daily basis. It's just really, really hard for me and I feel like I am missing out on a lot in life but I can't help it. I keep telling myself not to let things get to me, but they still do. Some days I will have a good day where I feel like I am making progress, but they are by far the minority.

The Crowing One

Go see someone. I have SAD and you seem to fit the basic description. Meds can mean a whole world of difference.

Do you worry about what people think of you? do you avoid social situations when you have no reason to avoid them?

Altdotnet

The Crowing One wrote:

Go see someone. I have SAD and you seem to fit the basic description. Meds can mean a whole world of difference.

Do you worry about what people think of you? do you avoid social situations when you have no reason to avoid them?

I am always worried what people think, even if it's someone I don't even like...if that makes sense? I do tend to avoid social situations, though sometimes I will force myself to go to a dance or party to confront my fears.

SpongeCake

Many of the common first line antidepressants also have anti-anxiety properties, which often persist after actually ceasing the medication. Consider discussing SSRIs with your doc, you might find they're a good push in the right direction to getting you out and about without worrying quite so much.

Officer 1BDI

I don't have SAD, but I was finally diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and dysthymia this year after struggling with both for most of my life. I second everyone here telling you to see a doctor and/or counselor to get a proper diagnosis so you can start getting treatment if you need it.

I reacted badly to the SSRI I was given (allergic reaction, I was told), so right now I'm focusing on talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy for my treatments. They're not magic bullets, but I think they're helping me sort out some of my issues and figure out how to deal with them more efficiently. Your doctor should have a better insight on what will work for you, though.

FireWater

I am a professional in the mental health field (I do care management, and I am licensed therapist). If you feel that your anxiety gets the best of you, I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist, and getting an evaluation. That does not mean you are crazy or weak or anything negative, it just means you are seeking help for a challenge that you have.

The fact that you can take a look a yourself and try to figure out what you can do better, I think is an amazing quality in a person. You sound like the perfect candidate for therapy if you choose to seek it.

As far as everyone getting nervous once and a while, you are right. People do. But what those nerves can incapacitate you, thats when a psychiatrist/therapist would diagnose a disorder of some type.

Also, I wouldn't worry about what any professionals in the field about you think

1) they can't share any information with anyone they don't have a release to talk to

2) most professionals are just that, and see a person that needs help.


These are just my opinions, I hope they help.

SwashbucklerXX

I have generalized anxiety disorder with several symptoms of social anxiety, and going to the doctor with my concerns led to a huge improvement in my life. I know it's super tough and nerve-making to talk to your family doctor about this, but trust me, they've seen and heard things that are a thousand times worse (and anxiety is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!), and they should be more than happy to get you a referral to a psychologist/psychiatrist or counsellor.

I get really flustered, and feel like I can't breathe. I'm constantly thinking about interactions I had during the day and rating how well they went. Then thinking about how I could have done better. I absolutely dread talking on the phone. I have a really hard time making and maintaining eye contact.

A lot of these things happen to people who have anxiety, (I still struggle with the self-rating myself, but therapy has given me some good tools to deal with it) but you shouldn't have to put up with them! Whether you get a diagnosis of anxiety or something else, you deserve to find a way to reduce those symptoms and feel happier about yourself and your life.

Like folks have said, low doses of SSRIs and therapy like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) are the most common treatments for anxiety. A lot of us have a bit of both... for me, the SSRI eases the physical symptoms of my anxiety (being constantly tense which led to trouble sleeping and other issues) while the CBT taught me to identify and interrupt the thought processes of my anxiety. Most anxiety therapies are very practical and deal with taking care of the anxiety in the here and now, which I like. You definitely have to work at it, but it's work worth doing.

Madpanda

See if your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program. Those usually come with 3-5 free counseling sessions.

Usagi

Madpanda wrote:

See if your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program. Those usually come with 3-5 free counseling sessions.

Yes yes yes this

So many people don't realize they have one of these hanging around with all sorts of marvelous benefits free of charge

Altdotnet

Thanks everyone for the great advice! As usual, H/A delivers I have to schedule an appointment with my doctor soon because of a bad ingrown toenail, so while I'm there I am going to ask her about it.

I don't expect a magic cure, and I want to avoid taking drugs if possible so I am really interested in therapy. I went to a psychologist when I was younger and having trouble in school, so the concept doesn't scare me that much. As for employee assistance, I work at a very small mom & pop operation, but I have health benefits through the town chamber of commerce so I am definitely going to see if that covers any of it.

Anyway thanks again, you guys are awesome

Usagi

Also, from personal experience, sometimes it's really helpful for depression/anxiety to do a double combo attack at the beginning of treatment: therapy + medication of some sort.

Think of it in terms of a sprained ankle, you wear the aircast/brace (take the meds) and do the PT (therapy) together until the PT makes the brace unnecessary.

Good luck!

schuss

Altdotnet wrote:

Thanks everyone for the great advice! As usual, H/A delivers I have to schedule an appointment with my doctor soon because of a bad ingrown toenail, so while I'm there I am going to ask her about it.

I don't expect a magic cure, and I want to avoid taking drugs if possible so I am really interested in therapy. I went to a psychologist when I was younger and having trouble in school, so the concept doesn't scare me that much. As for employee assistance, I work at a very small mom & pop operation, but I have health benefits through the town chamber of commerce so I am definitely going to see if that covers any of it.

Anyway thanks again, you guys are awesome

As someone with anxiety problems, I'll say this: don't be afraid to try the drugs for a time, then go off. Sometimes all you need to get on the path to feeling comfortable is to know what normal feels like, which I'm guessing you don't right now (I didn't). I went off them about a year later, and been doing ok ever since. It's still a constant battle, but I feel I'm winning.

Indica1

Find embarrassing things and do them.

Flay

Indica1 wrote:

Find embarrassing things and do them.

I don't think this is a good idea, but like you said I do think that exposing and desensitising yourself to new or slightly uncomfortable situations may be some help. But rather than making a momentus event out of it and forcing yourself to go to a dance party once, take smaller steps, and take them frequently. Progress should be taken in increments; Putting too much pressure on yourself may cause you retreat in to your shell even more. I haven't been diagnosed with SAD myself, but a lot of the characteristics fit my profile, although I'm not a professional either, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

Also, I can confirm that medication under the right circumstances is fantastic. Good luck to you!

FireWater

Altdotnet wrote:

Thanks everyone for the great advice! As usual, H/A delivers I have to schedule an appointment with my doctor soon because of a bad ingrown toenail, so while I'm there I am going to ask her about it.

I don't expect a magic cure, and I want to avoid taking drugs if possible so I am really interested in therapy. I went to a psychologist when I was younger and having trouble in school, so the concept doesn't scare me that much. As for employee assistance, I work at a very small mom & pop operation, but I have health benefits through the town chamber of commerce so I am definitely going to see if that covers any of it.

Anyway thanks again, you guys are awesome

I'm glad that the posters in this thread were able to help. Your medical doctor should be able to provide your referrals. I would recommend getting a psychiatric evaluation because they will be able to tell you what medicine (if any) would be the most beneficial to you.

Good luck with everything!