Waistline in the Wasteland

Jordyn

So as some of you know, I write a blog about my adventures in Fallout and Fallout:NV. Tonight in Tinychat, I broadcast myself making one of the recipes from Fallout: NV and Duck was like "make a thread" so I guess I am.

The recipe I made was for a Caravan Lunch which in the game is Instamash, Cram, Pork N Beans, and a Vault Tec Lunch Box. Presumably you are mixing the things together in the lunchbox over a campfire. I don't have a lunchbox or a campfire, but much like my the character in my Fallout blog, I did get really drunk and buy instant mashed potatoes, Spam and some baked pork n beans, and decided to make this shit.



I also got a "nuka cola"



And if you read my blog, you know that it's not right if I don't also have whiskey.



So I chopped up the spam and stirred it in with the pork n beans and heated that up in the microwave:



on the stove, I cooked up the taters



When they were done, I stirred them all together:



And then I drunkenly devoured them.

BECAUSE HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS THIS IS FUCKING DELICIOUS.

Go out to the store right now. Buy this stuff and make this food. Oh my god.

Maybe it's just because I am drunk but good lord.

I could not stop eating it. Even after I was full, I just kept eating more.

Plus it heals +3(15s) so that is good too.

natek

jordyn it looked more appetizing on your fuzzy webcam

no thank you

Olivaw

Man how can Spam be delicious

I need a second opinion on this

Jordyn

Natek don't wuss out on me

Tossrock

That final product looks almost exactly like a good thick vomit

Tossrock

Olivaw wrote:

Man how can Spam be delicious

I need a second opinion on this

Spam on its own is horrible, but combined with, say, fried rice, it is actually quite good

End

hm

I don't think I would normally enjoy this

unless maybe I had a lot to drink first

Tommy2Hands

jord did you just drink a bunch and vomit into that bowl

jord are you trying to get people to eat vomit

Jordyn

Spam combined with baked beans and mashed potatoes?

fucking DELICIOUS

Jordyn

Tommy2Hands wrote:

jord did you just drink a bunch and vomit into that bowl

jord are you trying to get people to eat vomit

Not





yet.

Staleghoti

Jordyn you may have found your calling making food for orphans

Cilla Black

I'd have to hear a non-drunk report of this to make a final decision

+3hp (15sec) with modifiers based on survival is pretty nice though

PwnanObrien

I once invented Bachelor Chow from Futurama.

Turns out it's chilli plus crushed up Fritios plus cut up bits of hotdog.

Jordyn

Ben ate some and he wasn't drunk and he thought it was tasty too.

natek

Ben was just afraid you would beat him like a dirty powder ganger if he didn't like your fallout food

PwnanObrien

Also:

http://www.destructoid.com/neo-kobe-pizza-a-snatcher-inspired-dinner-in-pictures-130519.phtml

Jordyn

well someone else make it then

I fucking dare you

dougyfresh

I am just drunk enough to make this look delicious

godmode

I don't think it looks that bad. But I can tell just by looking at it that hot sauce would make it that much better.

TrippyJing

I am going to buy the ingredients on my way home tomorrow.

Jordyn

there's not hot suace in the wasteland

Staleghoti

for the record

spam is gross

TrippyJing

I am also going to need to get ground beef.

Because I bought taco shells on a whim and forgot I had nothing to put in them.

godmode

Jordyn wrote:

there's not hot suace in the wasteland

None? At all?

Okay, how about adding some chopped jalapenos?

TheStig

Make fish tacos.

Jordyn

there are jalepenos yes.

You have to pick them yourself.

godmode

Indeed. It just looks like the dish needs some spice.

Druhim

Olivaw wrote: »

Man how can Spam be delicious

I need a second opinion on this

spam musubi

Druhim

Jordyn wrote: »

well someone else make it then

I fucking dare you

Fuck, I'd eat it. Everyone else is just being silly geese.

natek

those look like tiny sandals for tiny rice feet

bsjezz

the only upside of this recipe is that the only possible time you'd have to actually eat it is if the world was ended/ending and you're gonna be dead soon anyway

edit: wait i guess that's not an upside at all. hmm.

Shorty

well you know

whatever lifts your luggage

I routinely eat hashbrowns covered in canned chili and cheddar

so who the fuck am I to judge food

you say it tastes good

the fuck else matters

PkErthbnd

Speaking as someone that has lived in wasteland-like conditions, (Oklahoma) that looks freaking delicious. Spam really isn't as bad as people make it out to be! And mixed with beans and instant mash? Sign me up.

godmode

PkErthbnd wrote:

Speaking as someone that has lived in wasteland-like conditions, (Oklahoma) that looks freaking delicious. Spam really isn't as bad as people make it out to be! And mixed with beans and instant mash? Sign me up.

Just find a dilapidated neighborhood, walk in one of the houses, and start rooting around in the cabinets.

Be sure to grab any steam guage assemblies and pilot lights while you're in there. You can make some handy shit out of those.

Shorty

spam is eminently edible

canned meat gets a bad rap

but it's like any other food

do right by it and it does right by you

Jordyn

bsjezz wrote:

the only upside of this recipe is that the only possible time you'd have to actually eat it is if the world was ended/ending and you're gonna be dead soon anyway

edit: wait i guess that's not an upside at all. hmm.

My family is eating this at Christmas and every goddamn time there's a potluck I am bringing this now.

I'm sorry you cannot see it for the wonder it is.

You will all live in a dark world, blind to the magic that is Caravan Lunch.

Shorty

you know what would help this out in terms of visuals

throw that shit under a broiler to get crisp

Wandering Hero

Food that looks like vomit has a surprising history of being delicious.

But man do I want to throw up just looking at that shit.

Edit:

Oh man

Oh man

I know EXACTLY what that needs.

Put a heavy layer of cheese on top and bake it in the oven. Holy shit.

George Fornby Grill

reminds me of the KFC Famous Bowls


Those were the best combination of awful+delicious

TheStig

mix some corn and top ramen in there

Shorty

Wandering Hero wrote:

Food that looks like vomit has a surprising history of being delicious.

But man do I want to throw up just looking at that shit.

Edit:

Oh man

Oh man

I know EXACTLY what that needs.

Put a heavy layer of cheese on top and bake it in the oven. Holy shit.

BROIL goddamnit

baking won't do shit but dry it out