The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
Please vote in the Forum Structure Poll. Polling will close at 2PM EST on January 21, 2025.
Groomsman Speech Help
Jayricho
Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
I'm standing up in a wedding soon and the entire party is supposed to be giving speeches, not just the best man and maid of honor. I'm not exactly great in front of crowds and haven't really been to many weddings so any tips would be just great. I know the guests are going to have heard enough speeches so not to keep it too long. But how long is too long? How short is too short?
Jayricho on
0
Posts
Also practice it a few times in front of a mirror, just so you are not fumbling for words.
the second grabbed the mic from him in a joking "youve gone on too much way..."
And then proceeded to say he hated me like 4 times in a mess of a speech which if i can ever find a video of, will go down in youtube history as the biggest disaster of a best man speech ever.
In retrospect, I dont think I could have asked for a better best man speech.
So my advice is, dont panic too much, you really probably cant ruin the wedding no matter how bad you do. But the shorter the better, unless you are great at giving speeches. Don't go negative. Its easy to make a light hearted insult, but you run the risk of other folks not taking it the way you do. End with something sweet. Heck, if all you want to do is the "end with something sweet" absolutely nobody will hold it against you. If all you say is "Im so happy for you guys. You guys I perfect for each other!" Its a win.
I have the task of giving a best man speech in like 6 weeks, and im pretty sure my buddy only picked me to BE best man based on his anticipation of me nailing the speech. So...at least you arent in my shoes.
The pointers given to me then were "Keep it reasonably short, a couple of minutes, a funny story or two, praise for groom and bride and their awesomeness as a couple and then propose a toast and you'll do fine, problem solved"
If it's short. Also, with everyone giving speeches, there's a decent chance something like that may get covered by someone else, so try to think of something that you can speak to personally (specifically, that the other groomsmen can't). If not, no big deal. Just speak to what a great (or terrible) guy the groom is, and pass the mic. Chamberlain pretty much nailed it: Stay sober, and be brief.
Otherwise, as Disrupter stated, keep it simple, say a few appropriate and heart-felt words about the bride and groom and offer a toast to their future together.
-Thank everyone for being there
-Compliment the bride
-SHORT story about GROOM before he met BRIDE
-SHORT story/example showing that the GROOM is a better person in this relationship
-Raise your glasses
-Hi 5
Do not exceed 4 minutes.
thank everyone
and say something like i could go on for hours about how so and so are perfect for each other, but its easy to just to go by the way they look when they are with each other.
heres to a ,insert adjective about wonderful.<insert future saying. together and may we all find as much happiness as they have
if everyone is giving a speech you don't really want to go on and on, since everyone else will
Also, find out if in what order the speeches will be given. If you're going last (which should be unlikely if you're not the best man), you should also offer a toast.
STAY SOBER! Also, you aren't a comedian so don't try to be. The key is to say something forgettable; no one cares, the groom kind of does but is so frazzled he won't remember anything you say. Things I've heard from actual speeches that you should avoid:
"[Bride's name] was a C-section, so I guess she's always been pushy." (funny but inappropriate for many)
"[Groom's name] is pronounced [South Asian version of name], I'm not going to say it [Americanized version of name] for the white folks in the audience." (Caucasian wife/in-laws not amused)
"I was like, 'Damn, why couldn't I be dating [bride's name] instead of [groomsman's date]!'" (dear god no one laughed)
"grmblegrumblegrmlbe [for 10 minutes]" (mumbles = bad speech unless you're Senor Cardgage)
Note that one of those is mine because I did not, you guessed it, STAY SOBER.
heard something to the tune of this, very inappropriate. Some people act like its a roast, its not the time for that either. If you don't go out of your way to try to hard to be funny, you'll be fine.
If you want to be extra forgettable, try to go first and get it over with. You will both get washed out in memory by the later speeches, and downplay any nervousness that may come from just sitting and knowing your turn is next. You can also say something really simple and not just be parroting the others, plus giving the next guy a positive place to start and build off of.
and do try to be entertaining. throw in some jokes, say you were gonna do a rap but left your boom-box in the hotel room, tell everyone to drink up because your liver won't handle the clean-up job otherwise.
as a groomsman your role is entertainment and a (light) sprinkle of unexpected sappines - leave the real tearjerkers to the parents and the bridesmaids. and if you're unsure at all, talk to the bride and groom. they have an idea about what they want from you, no point not working with that.
GIS is evil
there's a difference between being entertaining and roasting someone.
also, have you ever been to a bachelor's party? are you kidding? the only scripted speech going on that night is the stripper's disclaimer that nobody is to take photos or try for a sneaky touch
This is excellent advice.
Don't try to be funny unless you know you can pull it off. No need to be deep, either. Make sure everyone can enjoy it and it lends to the air of fun.
Who said anything about scripts?
My point was that (re)telling embarrassing stories about the groom works best in an environment where that's not the worst thing going on. If there's a naked lady grinding in your lap, you probably don't care about your best buddy telling your other friends about the time he caught you whacking it to pics of your future wife because she wouldn't give you any.
The grooms lack of singing/dancing skills.
The fact that you are single and if anyone is interested you will be out on the dancefloor. (do not make winky motions to people's mothers)
Specifically when you compliment the bride don't just she is a wonderful person point out that today she looks lovely and your buddy is a lucky guy.
For a nice story tell the story of when you knew the two of them were first getting serious or when he told you he was going to propose.
Satans..... hints.....
The bride is bulletproof on her wedding day... The groom... Not so much. The above rule also applies for family of the bride and groom over 40... It's risky.
Was at a wedding last weekend, and the MC was ripping into the groomsmen a bit, which was alright, I suppose, and gave everyone a scare when he mentioned the grooms' 89 year old grandmother... I wasn't sure where he was going with it, but thankfully he just mentioned that it was nice that she was able to attend.
Self-deprecating and Groom/Fellow Groomsmen deprecating is alright. Anything beyond that and you're skating on very thin ice.