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Friend plans vacation, Hurricane hits

Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
edited August 2011 in Help / Advice Forum
So my friend plans a trip every year to the Outer Banks, NC. If you've never been there, it's a place where you can rent HUGE mansions in the offseason, when it's still warm, for a fraction of the on-season cost. This year, he chose to do it in season. Regardless, he does an all inclusive type deal, and everyone pays a flat rate for full week, or a slight discount for a half week. Unfortunately, as most of you know, Hurricane Irene is about to bitchslap costal carolina on saturday... which is when the trip starts. My GF and i are going down for the beginning of the week.

It's supposed to be gone by sunday AM, but my concern is that there is going to be flooding, and the island wont open up until sometime monday (or god forbid later). So basically i'll have paid for 4-5 days of vacation, and only get 2-3, plus pay for hotels while we are waiting for the joint to open up. My desire to drive 6 hours, and brave a hurricane for 2 days of hanging out in a sweet house is pretty nonexistent. Is it a dick move for me to ask for my money back if we cant get in there until monday? I don't believe he got travel insurance. He is a good friend, but not really a waste 800+ dollars for nothing friend. (that sounds bad...) If it is reasonable, how should i bring it up? I'm sure i'm not the only one feeling this way. If we can get in sunday, i'm fine with it. or if i was going down for the entire week, i'd be fine with getting in monday (not happy, but i could deal). This is so frustrating since i don't know what is going to happen, so i can't plan for anything.

Dr. Frenchenstein on

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    DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    In my opinion, it is a dick move to leave your friend hanging for the $800. His anxiety level is probably already going through the roof over this storm and the expectations of his friends.

    Trying to bail on <48 hours notice isn't reasonable. I hope it works out for ya.

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    SentrySentry Registered User regular
    Yeah, no question. And as far as trip insurance goes, it's not like you got any either, which, as far as I can find from a quick Google search, you could just as easily have. This isn't your friends fault any more then it's your fault, which is to say this is the very definition of "act of god."

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    If you had doubts about wanting to go on the trip, you shouldn't have agreed to go in the first place. Bailing now is fine, if he can get everyone's money back. If he can't, then you should feel free to bail so you don't have to pay for the hotel for 2-3 days, but you need to pay him for the agreed-upon mansion whether you go or not.

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    As someone who lives in NC, you pay your money, you take your chances. Hurricane season = contingency plan. Have one.

    That said, if the island closes, you guys may be able to get some or all of your money back. Talk to your friend and see if there is any such contingency in place, and see if it's too late to schedule an alternate trip.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    StraygatsbyStraygatsby Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    Gotta sadly echo some of the above. I don't know NC as well as the gulf coast, but I suspect it's similar in the sense that most places, once hurricane season is on, pretty much tell you outright that there will be no refunds for force majeure, so it'd be a tough move to justify asking for money from the friend who's on the other end of that. Hope for the best. These storm tracks can change in hours. You might luck out.

    Straygatsby on
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    Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    I didn't have doubts until the hurricane got announced, this has been planned since February. It's not like i gave him money last week, and am suddenly changing my mind.

    I assumed he got insurance, b/c what's 4-500 (or whatever it is) extra if you potentially are losing 8k? I had no hand in the planning, and as far as i know he's always gotten insurance in the past. we've never had bad weather in 6 years of going though, so maybe that's why he didn't get it... Yeah i could've gotten insurance, if he would have said: Hey i'm not doing the insurance, so if you're wary get your own. I would have.

    Trust me i don't want to bail, but i should eat $400 ($800 between me and the GF) because he didn't plan properly? Just seems like bad form on his part. I'm not going to bring it up, but if this trip goes tits up, he's going to 30 pissed off people on his hands if we don't get SOMETHING back.

    Dr. Frenchenstein on
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    You took part in renting a house in hurricane alley during hurricane season-the $800 is yours to eat

    Because it would be an absolute dick move to expect your buddy to cover eight grand

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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    As much as it sucks, you don't really have a leg to stand on, unless the person you are all renting the place from is willing to give a refund.

    Just because he did all the work, that doesn't negate the fact that you agreed to go into this venture with him. He doesn't owe you your $800 back if you decide to back out after agreeing to it.

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    I expected him to be a responsible trip runner, and not leave 30 people potentially swinging in the wind. I mean, I know he didn't do it maliciously, which is why i'm not ripping him a new one.

    put it this way, what if i planned a trip, didn't get insurance, and now it's getting cancelled. Everyone gave me their money in good faith, and it's gone. what should i do? Say sorry but you guys should have gotten insurance on your own?

    This is all conjecture as well, since it hasn't been officially cancelled, but i'm likely boned due to the timing of the storm.

    Honestly, if he agreed to refund some dough for the 2 days we cant get into the place, i'd be fine with that. if i bailed, i wouldn't mind eating the remainder.

    Dr. Frenchenstein on
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    Dude, you agreed to pay your share, you pay your share

    Would you want to be stuck on the hook for your friends bailing? Imagine what kind of financial straights that would put him in.

    Don't be a jerk.

    Usagi on
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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    I didn't have doubts until the hurricane got announced, this has been planned since February. It's not like i gave him money last week, and am suddenly changing my mind.

    I assumed he got insurance, b/c what's 4-500 (or whatever it is) extra if you potentially are losing 8k? I had no hand in the planning, and as far as i know he's always gotten insurance in the past. we've never had bad weather in 6 years of going though, so maybe that's why he didn't get it... Yeah i could've gotten insurance, if he would have said: Hey i'm not doing the insurance, so if you're wary get your own. I would have.

    Trust me i don't want to bail, but i should eat $400 ($800 between me and the GF) because he didn't plan properly? Just seems like bad form on his part. I'm not going to bring it up, but if this trip goes tits up, he's going to 30 pissed off people on his hands if we don't get SOMETHING back.

    He's always gotten insurance before, and he's always planned it for later in the year before.

    The situation changed this year, the onus fell to you to follow up and determine what else may or may not have changed with the situation.

    Yes, it sucks that you two are going to be out $800 because your friend tried to save you some cash by not getting something he's never needed before. Yes, it sucks that you're potentially going to lose out because you didn't follow up with your friend and make sure that you knew what was going on so that you could make an informed decision with your $800.

    Next time you're about to invest $800 in something, do some homework and make sure it's a sound investment. Hurricane Irene is as much your friends fault as it is yours (read: not at all).

    I'll put it this way- if he can't get out of the obligations, and you don't pay him the money you agreed to pay him, then you have at best lost a friend. Potentially, since the three of you had an oral agreement for $800, he could attempt to take you to court over it. If he's out $8K, it's not even a bad idea to try to recoup some of that.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Total dick move to back out. You committed, and he'll be losing vacation time too. You're just as poor a planner as he is.

    In fact, I'm now going to fucking rant. In my social group, I'm the one who has to plan these trips. Everyone enjoys these trips, everyone wants to do them, but no one wants to be the person who does the heavy lifting planning. So everyone relies on me to spend all this fucking time to plan these things out, then bitches when things go awry, either in a small way or big way. You let him do all the work, front all the money, and offer you what is essentially a fantastic deal on a great time because he was your personal fucking vacation planner, and then you have the audacity to talk about it like he's inconveniencing you? You're ridiculous. Give your friend the money you owe him and be grateful that someone else plans vacations for you.

    What is this I don't even.
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    Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    He already has my money, i paid him in april.

    I suppose it is pretty jerky to expect a refund... I guess i'm just frustrated at this situation, as only a select group of the people on this trip are really feeling the pinch. if it got cancelled, EVERYONE would be in the same situation. As it stands only me, the GF and the 2-3 other people only coming in the beginning of the week are getting shit on.

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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    I don't follow your logic at all.

    Unless you've been harping his ass bout getting insurance for god knows how long and he's just being stubborn, you are just as responsible for the way a collective trip is handled as he is.

    You guys gamble every year, and all jump and hold hands when you get paid out. But now the ball lands on 0 you think it's reasonable to bail?

    Just go and spend the time you're given by the weather gods.

    edit: Oh, just checking, "in season" doesn't mean hurricane season does it?
    edit2: Shit it does... according to some posts above. But why is in season more expensive?

    bwanie on
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    DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    He already has my money, i paid him in april.

    I suppose it is pretty jerky to expect a refund... I guess i'm just frustrated at this situation, as only a select group of the people on this trip are really feeling the pinch. if it got cancelled, EVERYONE would be in the same situation. As it stands only me, the GF and the 2-3 other people only coming in the beginning of the week are getting shit on.

    Then either adjust your plans to get there with everyone else or see if you can sell your share to someone that can get there with everyone else.

    I understand your frustration, but as a fellow trip planner (hi5 Darkewolfe!), organizing group outings is a thankless job that under the best circumstances is about as fun as herding retarded cats.

    Don't hold your friend to account for circumstances well outside his control.

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    edited August 2011
    bwanie wrote:
    edit: Oh, just checking, "in season" doesn't mean hurricane season does it?
    edit2: Shit it does... according to some posts above. But why is in season more expensive?

    In season usually refers to vacation season. It happens to also correspond with a good portion of hurricane season, as well. Irene is the first storm so far this year that I'm aware of being an actual threat to the coast so far, and there's maybe a month left in vacation season.

    Late August-September is pretty much the worst time of year to plan a trip to the southeastern coast, though. That...should have come up way before now.

    Tox on
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    NoisymunkNoisymunk Registered User regular
    bwanie wrote:
    I don't follow your logic at all.

    Unless you've been harping his ass bout getting insurance for god knows how long and he's just being stubborn, you are just as responsible for the way a collective trip is handled as he is.

    You guys gamble every year, and all jump and hold hands when you get paid out. But now the ball lands on 0 you think it's reasonable to bail?

    Just go and spend the time you're given by the weather gods.

    edit: Oh, just checking, "in season" doesn't mean hurricane season does it?
    edit2: Shit it does... according to some posts above. But why is in season more expensive?

    I believe, and I could be wrong, but the tourist season ends on labor day weekend. After labor day is when rental prices drop dramatically. The tail end of tourist season overlaps with hurricane season.

    I think you just have to eat the cash. Be thankful you weren't already out there when this thing rolls through and found yourself spending a night or 3 on a cot in some high school gymnasium.

    brDe918.jpg
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    Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    Yeah vacation season is what i'm talking about, normally we went in september because the rentals are something like 50% off or more(makes sense b/c school is back in session, everything is a weekly rental). Why he went in season this year... i have no idea, like i said: i have nothing to do with the planning of this trip. If i had any say in this trip, we'd either go in Sept when it's cheaper, and get insurance, or go OUT of hurricane season.

    PS i've planned one of these trips before, i know it's a goddamn hassle. That doesn't excuse him from potentially losing everyone's money in my eyes. Protecting everyone should have been his first priority.

    Whatever, i'll eat the cost... lesson learned i guess.

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    Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    Deebaser wrote:
    see if you can sell your share to someone that can get there with everyone else.

    Who the hell is going to pay money for half of a half trip to the beach, where you are going to spend most likely every moment inside?

    Dr. Frenchenstein on
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    Yeah vacation season is what i'm talking about, normally we went in september because the rentals are something like 50% off or more(makes sense b/c school is back in session, everything is a weekly rental). Why he went in season this year... i have no idea, like i said: i have nothing to do with the planning of this trip. If i had any say in this trip, we'd either go in Sept when it's cheaper, and get insurance, or go OUT of hurricane season.

    PS i've planned one of these trips before, i know it's a goddamn hassle. That doesn't excuse him from potentially losing everyone's money in my eyes. Protecting everyone should have been his first priority.

    Whatever, i'll eat the cost... lesson learned i guess.

    If you normally go in September, he's actually reduced the risk of you being hit by a hurricane by planning it earlier.

    The fact that you're getting hit by one is just bad luck, but not at all due to his planning.

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    Hurricane season is late august through September. he didn't reduce anything.

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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    Deebaser wrote:
    see if you can sell your share to someone that can get there with everyone else.

    Who the hell is going to pay money for half of a half trip to the beach, where you are going to spend most likely every moment inside?

    Someone who enjoys the company of their friends.

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    edited August 2011
    So the hurricane threat was reduced by ~29% by planning it in August. Also, the odds of a major storm affecting the trip dropped from 8/13 to 4/13.

    The lesson is "visiting the coast of NC during Hurricane season is a roll of the dice. Get insurance or take your chances."

    Unless you were coming from west of the Mississippi river, you really had no reason to expect there not to be a chance of hurricane, and when the trip details started changing (like the timeframe) your options were: A) follow up on other potential detail changes; or B) accept responsibility for whatever happens because you didn't do the research.

    You left the details to your friend, and let your friend set up the situation in which you were to invest $800, and you didn't confirm all the details before you invested your money.

    Write it off as a loss and carry on.

    Tox on
    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular

    Deebaser wrote:
    Deebaser wrote:
    see if you can sell your share to someone that can get there with everyone else.

    Who the hell is going to pay money for half of a half trip to the beach, where you are going to spend most likely every moment inside?

    Someone who enjoys the company of their friends.

    Oooh zing.

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    LorekLorek Registered User regular
    For the future, whenever giving money to a friend for any reason, good advice to follow is "Don't give any money to a friend if you can't handle losing one or the other."

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    NotYouNotYou Registered User regular
    That doesn't excuse him from potentially losing everyone's money in my eyes. Protecting everyone should have been his first priority.

    He didn't lose your money. You lost your money. You spent your money on something, and then you lost it on that something. He did not steal your money. You spent your money. Protecting your money is not his job. Protecting your money is your job.

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    radroadkillradroadkill MDRegistered User regular
    ... Why he went in season this year... i have no idea, like i said: i have nothing to do with the planning of this trip. If i had any say in this trip, we'd either go in Sept when it's cheaper, and get insurance, or go OUT of hurricane season...

    ...

    Whatever, i'll eat the cost... lesson learned i guess.

    Pretty much.

    Also, you saying that you somehow had no say in the this trip is also your own fault. Before you pony up that kind of money you should make sure you have ALL the details. It's on you to research the time of the trip, make sure it fits into your plans, and make sure he's getting insurance BEFORE paying him.


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    Dunadan019Dunadan019 Registered User regular
    FYI,

    http://www.co.dare.nc.us/

    Dare county (aka outer banks) is set to reopen on monday at 8:30.

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    Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    got in, that's the govt offices schedule as far as i can tell. That doesn't mean they wont open up the islands on sunday.

    Dr. Frenchenstein on
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    PirusuPirusu Pierce Registered User regular
    I work for the NCDOT, in our Statewide Transportation Operations Center. Our default position for tomorrow is going to be "no everything is closed, don't drive." Sunday, after the storm has passed, they have to do damage assessments, and roads will more than likely still be flooded. NC 12 is almost guaranteed to be flooded for a few days, at least.

    Our position Sunday is going to be similar, "roads are flooded, don't drive unless necessary." The chances of ANY of the islands being open on Sunday is pretty close to zero.

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    billwillbillwill Registered User regular
    Yeah vacation season is what i'm talking about, normally we went in september because the rentals are something like 50% off or more(makes sense b/c school is back in session, everything is a weekly rental). Why he went in season this year... i have no idea, like i said: i have nothing to do with the planning of this trip. If i had any say in this trip, we'd either go in Sept when it's cheaper, and get insurance, or go OUT of hurricane season.

    PS i've planned one of these trips before, i know it's a goddamn hassle. That doesn't excuse him from potentially losing everyone's money in my eyes. Protecting everyone should have been his first priority.

    Whatever, i'll eat the cost... lesson learned i guess.

    Dude. Just stop trying to justify it.

    He did absolutely nothing wrong. You agreed to pay the money, that's it. If you want to back out, that's a dick move, plain and simple.

    I hate you and you hate me.
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