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______QUEST: Shimmy Shimmy ______
Tommy2Hands
what is this where am iRegistered User regular
what is this where am iRegistered User regular
You awake on a ratty old couch in your apartment.
Your apartment that looks totally and utterly trashed.
RED CUPS are strewn about the living room like nickles around a sleeping vagrant. The air reeks of stale smoke and your FAVORITE FLANNEL has something on it that looks suspiciously like a fine mixture of SMIRNOFF ICE and VOMIT. At some point, someone fucking bled all over the CURTAINS YOUR MOTHER GAVE YOU.
Also, someone turned the heat on the THERMOSTAT up and left it on. You just know that your bills are going to cost SERIOUS BANK this month.
What the Fuck, Man.
The clock under your TV informs you that it is currently 12:0- oh wait it's blinking. That's probably NOT RIGHT. Your shift at Ralph's ($10/hr) starts at 1:00 PM, so you should probably find a CLOCK and Get Your Shit Together or Something.
Alternatively, you could look for your CELL PHONE so you can call your boy Jeffery, and you two can Get Your Smoke On. He's your best bud, so he probably knows what went down the other night too.
Also, he might help you clean this fucking shit up.
To the EAST are the Bedrooms. Also the Bathroom, but you are hesitant to see what sort of damage has been done in there.
To the NORTH is the Kitchen, and through there is the Front Door.
> ?
Your apartment that looks totally and utterly trashed.
RED CUPS are strewn about the living room like nickles around a sleeping vagrant. The air reeks of stale smoke and your FAVORITE FLANNEL has something on it that looks suspiciously like a fine mixture of SMIRNOFF ICE and VOMIT. At some point, someone fucking bled all over the CURTAINS YOUR MOTHER GAVE YOU.
Also, someone turned the heat on the THERMOSTAT up and left it on. You just know that your bills are going to cost SERIOUS BANK this month.
What the Fuck, Man.
The clock under your TV informs you that it is currently 12:0- oh wait it's blinking. That's probably NOT RIGHT. Your shift at Ralph's ($10/hr) starts at 1:00 PM, so you should probably find a CLOCK and Get Your Shit Together or Something.
Alternatively, you could look for your CELL PHONE so you can call your boy Jeffery, and you two can Get Your Smoke On. He's your best bud, so he probably knows what went down the other night too.
Also, he might help you clean this fucking shit up.
To the EAST are the Bedrooms. Also the Bathroom, but you are hesitant to see what sort of damage has been done in there.
To the NORTH is the Kitchen, and through there is the Front Door.
> ?
Tommy2Hands on
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North dammit. I'm hungry.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
http://i.imgur.com/tAcFo.png
http://witnesstheabsurd.tumblr.com/
http://i.imgur.com/OPLlE.png
Commission me at http://tinyurl.com/cv3h2pl
!
You find your LUCKY BLUE LIGHTER
The Word 'SWAG' is engraved on the side
In your back pocket you get excited as your fingers touch something that feels like DANK NUGS, but it turns out just to be foul smelling POCKET LINT.
Your Roommate might have some WEED on him, but the door to his room is shut.
You sort of Wish you could, but at the moment your mind isn't Insulated against the Horrors of Sobriety
INVENTORY: Lucky Ligher, Pocket Lint
DOLLA DOLLA BILLS: $0.00
SKILLZ: BongRipper Lv.6, PartyCrash Lv.2, Dude! Lv.4, Charisma Lv. 2, Punch Lv.1
INTOXICATION: Nada
nah
You grunt and twist a bit, but you cannot get the SHIT out of your SYSTEM
You Sort Of Doubt that you have Eaten Since Last Night.
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
You stumble into the Kitchen and throw open the fridge like it owes you Food and Alcohol.
Inside you find a Quizno's Philly Cheese Sandwich and a Half-Empty Bottle of this shit
Who the Fuck bought that?
There's also a Carton of Orange Juice on the bottom shelf, but it says your Roommate's name on it
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
>Check fridge for cellphone
Jeff ain't your roommate, just your bro buddy
Your Bromosexual Buddy, even
You pop open the fresh OJ, take a large swig of it to clear some room, and take a fat PISS in it
feels good, man
[You Gain Skill: Pissing Lv.2]
Your Phone is not in the Fridge, yo
You check the Freezer just to make sure, but it's not in there either
>also check OVEN for PHONE
man you gotta have a weed closet SIT DOWN and compose a SIX-POINT PLAN for installing the materials necessary for a WEED CLOSET
Not in there either
Though you do find a pair of LACY PANTIES in the Oven, weirdly enough.
Regardless, you pop the FAST FOOD CHEESESTEAK SANDWICH in that bitch, because who wants a soggy sandwich anyway.
Not a player like you, that's for sure.
No one seems to be watching, so you fucking CHUG the last of that shit like some sort of Girly Drink Champion
You feel the DRUNKENNESS rising, and it feels good, yo
INTOXICATION: 3/10
You contemplate building a WEED CLOSET for all your DANK NEEDS, but Your Mom still helps pay your RENT, and she probably wouldn't approve
also wood and shit costs MONEY
also also you don't even have paper to doodle this shit on