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Taking a stand
Godfather
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Oi, where to begin...
I'm going to try my best to describe my situation here in a way that won't confuse the majority of the people here. You see, i've got a bunch of little problems that (hopefully) tie together to one central issue, but i'm not sure where to start.
So about a month or two ago I met a guy in my computer class with similar interests. I usually get together with him and he teaches me various techniques and programs on the computer (mainly those available in Creative Suite 2). I had always known the guy prior to this, but more at an aquaintence level and nothing more. However, when I found out I would be going to Full Sail later this year/next year, my dad urged me to see if I could find a room mate to help out the adjustment period and room costs. Since I found out that this guy was going there as well, I told him about my situation and asked if he wanted to room with me there. In the long run, he had to turn it down; turns out this guy's a Mormon, and usually right out of high school they spend two years out doing mission work and whatnot. Regardless, he still wanted to teach me the programs prior to his leave (roughly six months), so he's trying to cram as much info into my brain before he goes off.
Overall, we make a good team; while his websites, videos, and photography are exceptional (especially for someone his age), it's his concepts and ideas that are lackluster at best; he's too relient on other people's ideas/techniques and afraid to branch out on his own. I on the other hand, found out that I have an eye for visualizing and conceptualizing things but lack the techniques to apply them with. Whenever we work on a project together, the results turn out great, so I suppose his overall goal of the process is that he wants to bring me up to speed so I can show him my ideas and apply the lessons taught. My end of the bargain is that I need to teach him how to think with his Mind's Eye, so to speak; i'm supposed to show him how to look beyond the ordinary and come up with interesting ideas and concepts on his own.
Here's in where the problem lies; he's incredibly reluctant to do just about anything outside of his comfort zone. Anytime I suggest that we work in a different environment free of distractions, i'm met with a half-assed excuse as to just why he can't just pick up his stuff and go. On a side note, I don't force this onto him either or spot him on the last minute; I usually take steps to plan out what would go down, and he simply doesn't want to go through with it in the end. He tells me that he wants to do the things that I ask of him, but when the deadline finally arrives to up and go he craps out at the last minute.
I'm not even asking for much here to begin with; just that every fourth time I visit or whenever we really need to get work done, we should study in the community college library so we don't have to deal with little annoyances at his house. I know he could teach me the exact same things there that he could at his house, but he'll always find a way to make it seem like the house is the only option.
Here's another problem with this guy; he's terrible at conversation. It's because of this and his disability to say no to anything that he's usually busy a good chunk of the week. I can understand that from anyone, but a high schooler during the last few months of his senior year? He just flat out doesn't know how to say no, and as a result he's figuratively become a doormat to others who take his talents to their advantage.
Long story short, this guy needs to take initiative and a little bit of moxie for good measure. I know he's got loads to teach me, but if something doesn't happen soon he's not going to learn how to think outside the box, and it really is the only thing holding this guy back from greatness.
I just don't know how to get through to this guy.
I'm going to try my best to describe my situation here in a way that won't confuse the majority of the people here. You see, i've got a bunch of little problems that (hopefully) tie together to one central issue, but i'm not sure where to start.
So about a month or two ago I met a guy in my computer class with similar interests. I usually get together with him and he teaches me various techniques and programs on the computer (mainly those available in Creative Suite 2). I had always known the guy prior to this, but more at an aquaintence level and nothing more. However, when I found out I would be going to Full Sail later this year/next year, my dad urged me to see if I could find a room mate to help out the adjustment period and room costs. Since I found out that this guy was going there as well, I told him about my situation and asked if he wanted to room with me there. In the long run, he had to turn it down; turns out this guy's a Mormon, and usually right out of high school they spend two years out doing mission work and whatnot. Regardless, he still wanted to teach me the programs prior to his leave (roughly six months), so he's trying to cram as much info into my brain before he goes off.
Overall, we make a good team; while his websites, videos, and photography are exceptional (especially for someone his age), it's his concepts and ideas that are lackluster at best; he's too relient on other people's ideas/techniques and afraid to branch out on his own. I on the other hand, found out that I have an eye for visualizing and conceptualizing things but lack the techniques to apply them with. Whenever we work on a project together, the results turn out great, so I suppose his overall goal of the process is that he wants to bring me up to speed so I can show him my ideas and apply the lessons taught. My end of the bargain is that I need to teach him how to think with his Mind's Eye, so to speak; i'm supposed to show him how to look beyond the ordinary and come up with interesting ideas and concepts on his own.
Here's in where the problem lies; he's incredibly reluctant to do just about anything outside of his comfort zone. Anytime I suggest that we work in a different environment free of distractions, i'm met with a half-assed excuse as to just why he can't just pick up his stuff and go. On a side note, I don't force this onto him either or spot him on the last minute; I usually take steps to plan out what would go down, and he simply doesn't want to go through with it in the end. He tells me that he wants to do the things that I ask of him, but when the deadline finally arrives to up and go he craps out at the last minute.
I'm not even asking for much here to begin with; just that every fourth time I visit or whenever we really need to get work done, we should study in the community college library so we don't have to deal with little annoyances at his house. I know he could teach me the exact same things there that he could at his house, but he'll always find a way to make it seem like the house is the only option.
Here's another problem with this guy; he's terrible at conversation. It's because of this and his disability to say no to anything that he's usually busy a good chunk of the week. I can understand that from anyone, but a high schooler during the last few months of his senior year? He just flat out doesn't know how to say no, and as a result he's figuratively become a doormat to others who take his talents to their advantage.
Long story short, this guy needs to take initiative and a little bit of moxie for good measure. I know he's got loads to teach me, but if something doesn't happen soon he's not going to learn how to think outside the box, and it really is the only thing holding this guy back from greatness.
I just don't know how to get through to this guy.
Godfather on
0
Posts
Unless, I misunderstood your question? You are asking for help on how to manipulate... err, bad word... control... huh another bad word.... make someone do something they don't want to?
What you percieve as flaws, others may not.
I'd recommend seeing a counselor or social worker (not necessarily a therapist) if its really bad, otherwise try giving him a little of advice yourself, if you feel up to it.
Be straight up blunt about it. If he can't say no, this should work right?
Also, sometimes people like this need someone else to be straight up blunt... it takes more courage to step outside your own comfort zone than to have someone pull you out of it, but either way works. So pull him out of it!