A Crazy Lady is Threatening My Family!

AlyceInWonderland

So, my grandpa passed away last friday, and unfortunately he was married to the biggest bitch on the planet. She married him 10 years ago to gain access into the US, and spent all of his money (she's 40-ish now. He died at 85. Very mucha gold digger, even though we're not even close to rich), and destroyed my family. I won't get into what she did, but she is a terrible, terrible person.

She has started to threaten my aunt and mom. She's been leaving really horrible, nasty voicemails, telling them that if they show up to their own fathers funeral, she'll humiliate them in front of everyone (...everyone in my family hates her, so I'm not really sure how well that's even going to work), etc. I know her boyfriend (..yeah..) has a gun, which freaks me out, because she's a psychotic woman. She's been put in jail for a couple of days for stabbing my grandpa, so I wouldn't put her past bringing a fucking gun to a funeral. She is an incredibly violent lady, and has tried to assault several of my family members in the past.

My mom and aunt went to the cops to report Fareeta (not a fake name. I don't give a shit about her), but they told them that they can't do anything unless it's a "real threat".

Can we request that one or two cops be present at the funeral? I think my mom and aunt are in the process of getting a restraining order. Is there anything else I can do to ensure that my mom and aunt are safe? I just want them to be able to mourn their father in peace.

Thanks in advance.

Skoal Cat

You can certainly hire an off duty police officer for security, yes.

bowen

You may be able to request cops, it'll probably cost money though.

Evil_Reaver

My own anecdotal experience with a crazy person threatening me was when a former neighbor threatened to shoot me because my trailer allegedly hit his car (it didn't). I called the cops because 1. it was a car accident related incident and 2. he threatened to shoot me.

Anyway, the end result was that the cops showed up, took statements, and hung out for a little bit while I finished moving my stuff out of my apartment. In my case, the threat of physical harm was imminent (or at least possibly imminent), so the cops were dispatched. I think that might be what the police in your situation were looking for.

WARNING: I AM NOT A LAWYER

Also, I don't know what your grandfather's will situation is, but depending on your state, your family might not take much (or anything) from his estate. It all depends on if he died with a will or without (testate or intestate), so lawyer up if any disputes arise.

Dorkman

First of all, my deepest sympathies are with you and your family. It sucks to lose a grandparent, so I can only imagine how difficult this may be.

I also would have to echo the advice to ask your local police station about the possibility of having an officer on site. If she is using her boyfriend's gun as a threat to you and your family then there is most certainly a cause for concern. My first instinct that it is just being used as an empty threat, but a threat is a threat.

Man, this is a shitty situation

Dr. Frenchenstein

I hope you kept those voicemails, call the non-emergency line or head to the police station, with those in tow. Tell them what's going on, play the tapes for them. Hopefully, they'll dispatch an officer to keep an eye on the proceedings. I'd inform the funeral home as well. Who's footing the bill for the funeral? If it's not the wife, i'm sure she can be kept from the ceremony. I'm guessing there is not much to your grandpa's estate? or is that what all this is about? Sounds like an awful situation, my uncle was a GIANT asshole when my grandfather died, but thankfully there were no threats involved. I can't even imagine. Good luck.

Skoal Cat

Oh my god yes, save voicemails.

JaysonFour

Voicemails are good when you go file for a restraining order. Play them and see if a lawyer on a free consultation doesn't agree with you. It's not worth taking any chances with this crazy person- you know she's attacked people in the past, and she might be trying to see how much she can push you around.

The major thing you want to do is get a lawyer to look into your grandfather's estate ASAP. If she's willing to attack family members, I wouldn't put ANYTHING past this crazy woman.

ahava

first, i'm sorry Alyce. Losing a grandparent sucks and my thoughts are with you and your family.

second. she stabbed your grandfather? I think that's enough of a reason to be a bit paranoid about the crazy lady. save the voicemails, call the cops or go to the police station and ask advice from there.

but whatever happens, this should not in any way stop your mom and aunt from going to the funeral. Maybe call the funeral home, give them a heads up on the situation and see if they might be willing to do a private viewing or something?

Good luck.

Evil_Reaver

Dr. Frenchenstein wrote:

I'm guessing there is not much to your grandpa's estate? or is that what all this is about?

I just threw out the estate stuff as general things for OP to think about. OP didn't really mention it but I'm studying estates in law school so it was on my mind. Sorry if that confused you.

AlyceInWonderland

Thanks for the advice and kind words, guys. I was at work, so I didn't have time to reply earlier.

I don't know if there was a will or not. I'm not really worried about that. Fareeda ran his finances and his "estate" into the ground, so there's probably nothing for her to have besides an old house.

The wake is tomorrow, so I'm going to call my mom and tell her to call the police and have a cop present at the wake, and funeral the next day.
Thankfully, my mom knows to save those voicemails, and I'm making sure she gets a restraining order as soon as possible.

And yeah. This crazy crazy woman stabbed my 85 year old cancer ridden grandfather. She also has multiple DUIs under her belt, and the cops are very familiar with her (boy do I have some stories about this woman). She very much needs to be locked up.

All of this is really upsetting to me, because she has always targeted my mom and my aunt, and it needs to stop.

iMatt

Sorry to hear this Alyce - it's the last thing your family needs in an already difficult time.

ceres

Condolences, Alyce, and please let us know how it goes and that everyone's safe.

AlyceInWonderland

ceres wrote:

Condolences, Alyce, and please let us know how it goes and that everyone's safe.

Thanks, I will. Hopefully it's a really uneventful affair.

Xaquin

Did you ask the police why they don't consider it a 'real threat' after she's already stabbed your grandfather?

Figgy

With regards to saving your voice mails, if your voice mail service is anything like mine, they'll automatically get deleted after several days unless you listen to them again and re-save them. Keep that in mind!

Dr. Frenchenstein

you might want to get one of those recorders you can plug into your cell actually. for posterity even after the police are talked to.

AlyceInWonderland

Xaquin wrote:

Did you ask the police why they don't consider it a 'real threat' after she's already stabbed your grandfather?

No, I don't live with my mother, and wasn't there when she called the cops.

I'll have her ask them though.
She just told me that she notified the funeral home of this woman and that something may go down tonight, whether it's a verbal or physical altercation.

Modern Man

Who is paying for the funeral? If she's the one paying for it, she may have the right to keep you away, if she tells the funeral home you're not welcome. And vice versa.

Karrmer

It's not a "real threat" (criminal threat) because threatening to humiliate someone isn't illegal. Until she threatens bodily harm, she hasn't broken the law. Get a restraining order.

Skoal Cat

Figgy raises an excellent point, get those voicemails off the phone and on to something for long term storage.

AlyceInWonderland

Well, I just got back from the wake. Everything went fine besides Fareeda giving me and my family nasty looks and talking behind our backs. She was surrounded by my family, and their friends who came to support them (which was awesome. I didn't expect that many people to turn up). I think the funeral is going to be fine as well.

Mom is saving the voicemails just in case.

Hopefully this is the last I ever see of Fareeda. She doesn't have any more ties to me or my family.

Thanks for the advice everyone!

Ego

Really glad to hear everything went well, no one needs that sort of stupid drama on top of the death of a loved one.

Condolences on your loss.