Charging for past childcare expenses

Kakodaimonos

There's no requirement or liability on a child's part to pay back their parents for any expenses incurred in raising said child?

I've received a couple of letters from my parents asking that I pay them some sum to cover the money the spent on me over the years. I don't really want to waste the time or money on a lawyer for this since I'm pretty sure that I can just tell them to pound sand and quit bothering me, but I just wanted to check if there's any need to handle this with an actual lawyer or just on my own.

aniqua

Wow, can't believe your parents would actually do that. My son is my son forever, I've already spent well over $10k in the 4 yrs he's been here, and I don't ever intend on asking for any of that back. Now, when he's older he will be getting a job for the extra stuff he wants and probably to buy his own car and save some up for school. But even with those things, I'm going to help him out. As parents, we are supposed to care for our children. Its our job. If your parents didn't want to spend all that money, then they shouldn't have become parents. And for them to ask for even $1 back, that's just not fair to you. I'm not a lawyer or anything, but I'm pretty sure you'll be all set.

aniqua

Oh and the "over $10k" is just in child care!

saltiness

Did you live with them past your 18th birthday? If so, did you sign a contract agreeing to repay them? If you answer no to both of these then I'd say you're easily in the clear IANAL though.

Thanatos

They can't spend money on you, and then turn around and ask for you to pay them back later and have any legal force behind that. Outside of legality, it's pretty fucking ridiculous.

What they could do is claim that you agreed to pay them back for something, and then come after you for that. However, until you're being handed something by a process server, you don't have anything to worry about.

Is there something more to this than just "hurr hurr you need to pay us back for diapers?"

Tox

You won't need a lawyer. They can try to sue you. You likely still will not need a lawyer, as I'd like to think most judges will throw this out on principle. Judge Judy might would take it, just for the opportunity to tell your parents to their faces just exactly how much they disgust her.

If they do take you to court, counter-sue for any and all related costs.

matt has a problem

Until age 18 it's their legal obligation to provide for your upbringing. After age 18 any financial assistance is considered a gift unless repayment is agreed upon beforehand. Even if they did try to sue you, any judge on the planet would laugh it out of court.

V1m

Kakodaimonos wrote:

There's no requirement or liability on a child's part to pay back their parents for any expenses incurred in raising said child?

I've received a couple of letters from my parents asking that I pay them some sum to cover the money the spent on me over the years. I don't really want to waste the time or money on a lawyer for this since I'm pretty sure that I can just tell them to pound sand and quit bothering me, but I just wanted to check if there's any need to handle this with an actual lawyer or just on my own.

Tell them that until you see the receipts for the money they repaid their grandparents, the discussion is moot.


PS Check with your grandparents first. Actually, just show your grandparents that letter.

bowen

If I recall, SSI let my fiancee know that until 21 her parents were legally required for her care financially. That said, no lawyer or judge or court in their right mind would let a parent sue a child for expenses while living and raising them.

Tell them to pound sand and quit bothering you.

spool32

Good lord above.

I wonder if your parents were still claiming you as a dependent on their tax returns? It seems to me that, if they were, and they are also trying to claim you owe them, that those two ideas are in legal tension...

LewieP's Mummy

That's outrageous!!!! (Hmm, on the other hand...) Seriously, though, I've never heard of something quite as daft. You choose to have children in the first place (well, barring an accidental pregnancy, but even then, you choose to keep the baby), you choose to buy them clothes, shoes, food - yes I know all basic necessities, but really most children have more than they need. You choose to take them on holiday, trips out, restaurants, buy birthday and Christmas/Hanukkah/Diwalli/Eid whatever festival you celebrate presents. I daren't add up what our children have cost us over the years, but as an example, their degrees cost between £18k and £20k. That was our choice, we didn't need to fund them, just as all of us going to Glastonbury Festival costs us a bit.

Tell them politely no, don't be aggressive. It sounds like from your post that you're not particularly close, maybe they're in financial need and don't/can't think of a way to ask for help.

Bottom line is you don't owe them any money for choosing to have you and raise you.

SammyF

V1m wrote:

Tell them that until you see the receipts for the money they repaid their parents, the discussion is moot.

This is my favorite suggestion.

Ruckus

You owe them nothing.

Also my joke suggestion would be to find a drugstore or supermarket flyer that has condoms on sale, clip it, and send it to them with a check for the exact advertised price.

Bedlam

Ask them to bring up the contract you signed agreeing to be born.

Seriously though they sound toxic. Keep some distance for the near future until they can come to their senses.

dispatch.o

I would say ignore it.

Though it would be funny for you to file a counter-claim that requires they pay for therapy for you for the rest of your life.

Raneados

ignore it

that's messed up

seriously what

tell them to go suck eggs

seriously if they get you into court with this, you can throw your feet up on the table while the judge laughs for an hour straight

see317

It might be worth talking to a lawyer and having them draft a nice official letter that you an send to your parents telling them "no".

For some reason, letters from lawyers tend to have a greater effect then phone calls or other methods of non-lawyer based communication.

Tox

see317 wrote:

For some reason, letters from lawyers tend to have a greater effect then phone calls or other methods of non-lawyer based communication.

It's true, I hire a lawyer to make all of my forum posts for exactly this reason.

Kakodaimonos

Ok, I'm just ignore this along with all the rest of the stuff they've been sending me. This is 10+ years after I moved out. I figure my father read one of those how much does it cost to raise a child articles again. I've been ignoring my parents for a few years now, this'll just go onto the pile.