Let's just talk about what happens when you turn on the tap and drink some water. Taste good to you? Well I hope you like that taste, because it's the taste of Satan's tonsils, which you've all been playing hockey with since you were born. Satan, the government (all of them), The Illuminati, and Y2K all want you to keep drinking tap water so that you will die from oxidants.
But surely there is one among your number who has the intelligence to see past this grand conspiracy. I won't bore you with the details (yes I will) but here are some of the details!
Kangen is a Japanese word, which means that whatever it is, it is good for you. In this case, Kangen means "Return to Origin". We've all forgotten that back in the good old days when we used to get our wives by clubbing them over the head and dragging them back to our caves for a tender romance, we still couldn't even get to second base without highly alkaline water to purify and cleanse our man-parts. So every self-respecting caveman had a water ionizer ready to go. We need to get back to our roots here, people. This is how everything began.
ACID BAD! ALKALINE GOOOOD!
Here's some other factual information that should make you pay for Kangen Water (R) all from the pamphlet I have here in my hand:
Clean, Refreshing & Tastes Great
Kangen water is the best tasting water you can drink
. It is smooth and refreshing. It will also enhance the taste of foods and beverages.
Detoxifying and Cleansing
When you have a buildup of acidic waste in the body, eventually you will need to have some sort of detox to cleanse yourself. Drinking Kangen Water (R) is a siimple and natural way to detoxify your body of impurities.
MicroClustered to Increase Hydration
Kangen Water (R) is microclustered which means the actual water moldecules are reduced in size allowing them to be easily absorbed by your body and deeply hydrate your cells.
Neutralize Free Radicals
Kangen Water (R) has a very high negative ORP (Oxidation Reduction Potential) which makes it a powerful anti-oxidant. When consumed on a regular basis, the extra electrons in Kangen Water (R) neutralize free radicals in the body.
Balance Body pH Over Time
Kangen Water (R) helps raise the body's alkalinity and fights against free-radicals that damage healthy cells. An Alkaline body is a healthy body.
Pain is something that many people deal with on a daily basis. Muscle soreness, joint pain and stiffness are the most common. Kangen Water (R) can reduce pain by helping the body become properly hydrated and allowing the acidic waste to be removed.
Improve Energy & Reduce Fatigue
Fatigue is a sign of your body being overly acidic. When your body dumps acidic and metabolic waste into your interstitial fluids, you have to be able to eliminate the buildup. If consumed on a regular basis, Kangen Water (R) will help clean up the waste and improve your energy levels.
Improve Overall Health
Kangen Water (R) is produced by Enagic Ionizers. They are approved as medical devices in Japan (!!!) and are used in numerous hospitals and clinics because of the health benefits.
I don't know guys! This seems pretty legit. My water can take your water.
What are some non-scams that you guys want to share with me so I can be sure and keep those goddamn free radicals away from me. Always trying to infiltrate my body and poison my precious bodily fluids.
Friends don't lie.