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The Skyrim thread for adventurers who don't think jokes get funnier the more you tell them

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    YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    JoeUser wrote:

    I want to be one of these in Skyrim.

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    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    Yukira wrote: »
    JoeUser wrote:

    I want to be one of these in Skyrim.

    pretty sure there is. just not attacking a city

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    JoolanderJoolander Registered User regular
    you should re-read that caulk

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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    Engineer talent tree would be cool.

    Construct Dwemer robots to help you out. Improve their stats, weaponry, defense, and abilities. Combined with wearing Dwemer armor, you can become a magical clockwork Dwemer Iron Man in a giant suit of robo-armor that shoots fire and frost while attacking with built in blade and arrow launchers.

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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    I just want a bronze clockwork horse to ride

    except not because I sneak everywhere I go

    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    Joolander wrote: »
    you should re-read that caulk

    ah, so I should.

    jnij103vqi2i.png
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    I want the bronze clockwork horse to ride, and then it transforms into extra armor and weaponry to attach to my Dwemer armor.

    Like Power Range zords, only I then kill people if they in some way hinder my progression through a quest.

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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    I have not ridden a single horse

    I guess I could buy one

    how does that work, can you send them away and stuff or do you have to keep up with them

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    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    i guess i own a horse? because whenever i fast travel one spawns near me

    but horses are bunk for exploring

    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    What horses are really good for is fast traveling while over encumbered. Get to a new area and then fast travel right back to it, and your horse will show up outside. Then you can dump loot outside or on a dead body or random storage thing near the front of the cave, building, or whatever. After all the things are smited, pick all the shit up, slowly walk to the horse, and then fast travel to town for $Texas.

    I'll also use the horse if I need to get to a new area that's close to something I can fast travel too and I don't feel like dicking around on land to get there. I always end up chasing butterflies for potion materials or fighting every two bit bandit or cave bear with a stick up its ass along the way, and before you know it it's been like 2 hours of me dicking around the woods instead of clearing a cave out to move a quest on.

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    HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    Horses are good for endlessly casting Soul Trap on and powerleveling conju-no! No!

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    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    i did not know you could fast travel on a horse while over encumbered

    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    I always fast travel directly into Whiterun on my horse and then it's a quick trundle (or if you use whirlwind sprint one quick dash) to two barrels between Breezehome and the blacksmith. I dump all the vendor trash and items I don't want/need in there first so I can run again, go into the house to store things I want for later like crafting materials, and then start doing the rounds selling the junk.

    Between investing in the blacksmith, drunken huntsman, the general store, the potion shop, and with the wizard in the keep I can usually sell off most of my stuff no problem. I've also set up Riften and Solitude as sales hubs. If I don't feel like selling stuff at the moment, I'll keep dumping it into convenient barrels. I've never had an instance where something was taken or missing like the little tips say during loading screens.

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    cadmunkycadmunky One hand on the bottle, The other a shaking fist.Registered User regular
    Damn. I had just caught up in the other thread. I need more time with dis game. Lvl 15 is draggin asssssss.

    5955603848_aed2690084.jpg
    "Think of it as Evolution in Action"
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    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    cadmunky wrote:
    Lvl 15 is dragon asssssss.

    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

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    cadmunkycadmunky One hand on the bottle, The other a shaking fist.Registered User regular
    Well played sir.

    Very well played.

    5955603848_aed2690084.jpg
    "Think of it as Evolution in Action"
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    fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    i'd love to be able to make a follower like Robo from Chrono Trigger. maybe have a cute, nerdy sidekick around to maintain him and fling fire bombs at enemies. and a cool frog-race person handy with a sword.

    ok basically i want a Skyrim Chrono Trigger mod.

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    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    horses teleport to you when you fast travel

    so if you ever lose your horse, go to a nearby landmark

    if no horse is present, a bear mauled it

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    Romanian My EscutcheonRomanian My Escutcheon Two of Forks Registered User regular
    The only complaint I have about my horse is her inability to realize that dragons are actually very deadly.

    I am much better at this, stay away so I don't have to reload this fight every two minutes.

    [IMG][/img]
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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    The only complaint I have about my horse is her inability to realize that dragons are actually very deadly.

    I am much better at this, stay away so I don't have to reload this fight every two minutes.

    Dragons always seem to attack me while I'm hanging out at the magic college. I'm the Arch-Mage, it's embarrassing!

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    Iron WeaselIron Weasel Dillon! You son of a bitch!Registered User regular
    I find that any complaints I have about horses are entirely mitigated by their ability to laugh at physics. They make exploring sooo easy.

    Currently Playing:
    The Division, Warframe (XB1)
    GT: Tanith 6227
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    The first time I bought a horse, I was all excited and riding around the wide open plains of Whiterun. Then a dragon attacked, and the stupid horse kept getting involved. It survived, but like seconds later a fucking bear that was triggered by dragon fire came charging in from nowhere and obliterated my horse.

    I killed the bear, but I was all FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU BEAR! Then I reloaded and killed the dragon and bear before my horse was mauled.

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    Cilla BlackCilla Black Priscilla!!! Registered User regular
    Horses are amazing for exploring!

    you can use one to get almost anywhere in the game

    all those invisible walls you encounter on foot on slopes? horses says fuck those and just canter right over them.

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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    I want to be a rich, wasteful asshole in Skyrim and buy horses just so I can kill them for meat and horse hide. Right in front of the stable masters.

    Fuck you peasant, I know it's a 1000 gold to buy this when I could just go kill an elk or deer, but I have money to burn because I kill things and take their loot.

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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    bears scare me a lot more than ancient dragons

    i will fight an ancient dragon any day of the week but if i see a bear i am scrambling up the nearest cliff

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    CorporateLogoCorporateLogo The toilet knows how I feelRegistered User regular
    But horse meat is worthless even for cooking

    At least venison makes that stamina buffing stew

    Do not have a cow, mortal.

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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    You can cook horse meat for like 10hp food, but being wasteful is the point. Fuck the poor. I'M RICH BITCH!

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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    I grabbed a bowl of what i thought were fire salts but turned out to be tomato soup

    fucking balimor is never going to get his forge hot

    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    KwoaruKwoaru Confident Smirk Flawless Golden PecsRegistered User regular
    Skull Man wrote:
    I have not ridden a single horse

    I guess I could buy one

    how does that work, can you send them away and stuff or do you have to keep up with them

    free horse if you
    talk to the guy who runs the riften stables and choose the option to beat him up in a brawl

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    DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    on the plus side now he's just gotta crumble some crackers into the forge and that steel will be delicious

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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    Make a grilled goat cheese sandwich to go along with the tomato soup and he'll be happier in the end.

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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    I should probably just buy some for him, it's not like I can't afford it

    I mean, the only reason I don't have 4 houses is because blood on the ice hasn't triggered the second part

    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    Beasteh wrote:
    bears scare me a lot more than ancient dragons

    i will fight an ancient dragon any day of the week but if i see a bear i am scrambling up the nearest cliff

    Bears be bitches, yo.

    however, I am in the market for giant killing tips.

    jnij103vqi2i.png
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    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    Mysst wrote: »
    I should probably just buy some for him, it's not like I can't afford it

    I mean, the only reason I don't have 4 houses is because blood on the ice hasn't triggered the second part

    you need to have a Beware the Butcher pamphlet and talk to a lady in the Inn.

    jnij103vqi2i.png
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    Beasteh wrote:
    bears scare me a lot more than ancient dragons

    i will fight an ancient dragon any day of the week but if i see a bear i am scrambling up the nearest cliff

    Bears be bitches, yo.

    however, I am in the market for giant killing tips.

    Shield bash.

    The slow time shout works wonders too.

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    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    ah, that would be the problem. I'm running an entirely inefficient war-axe and magic build, with a smattering of bows.

    now I just need to upgrade enchanting a bunch, so that lydia and I have some sweet enchanted dragon bone gear.

    jnij103vqi2i.png
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    YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    Last I left Skyrim, I had just gone to The Temple of Yelling at Things to learn how to yell, been running around with a 2 handed weapon and heavy armor.

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    Romanian My EscutcheonRomanian My Escutcheon Two of Forks Registered User regular
    halolz-dot-com-skyrim-physics-bitchimahorse.jpg

    [IMG][/img]
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    KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    Also, Impact and dual-Firebolt basically means you can one on one kill anything with a healthbar that runs out before your magicka.

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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    Mysst wrote: »
    I should probably just buy some for him, it's not like I can't afford it

    I mean, the only reason I don't have 4 houses is because blood on the ice hasn't triggered the second part

    you need to have a Beware the Butcher pamphlet and talk to a lady in the Inn.
    I got the wizard arrested, I thought there was more to it, the way people were talking

    ikbUJdU.jpg
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