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Tackling Depression and Anxiety.
Dakata
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'll start from the beginning and make this simple as I can.
Then
Alright, Since I've gotten back from college after the first week i had terrible nights. I was having these hot flashes at night, Headaches and sinus pressure, waking up dehydrated, my mind was racing and there was no clear thought just a bunch of jammer, and when I go off to school that in the afternoon I would feel terrible. I went to the doctor and he said It sounded like I might have gotten a sinus infection so he prescribed me some antibiotics.
There are no longer any hot flashes, My antibiotics have been taken in full, I still feel anxiety at times and depression, and I'm still losing some sleep. The loss of sleep though i think may be that my thoughts are still going and that occasionally I hear a random sound. One night i heard knocking on my window, then my door. I just dismissed the sounds. It was probably some drunks since I live on the ground level of our apartment complex and hear them occasionally yell or rev up their vehicles at night. Every once in awhile I would get a headache in all of this, so I went to the store and picked up some Tylenol PM. It would help me sleep, and I took it for a few days but the headaches are wearing off and tonight was the night I stopped and now I'm back to an irregular sleep schedule it seems.
Now
Some of my friends have shown concern for me and have asked if I was doing ok or that I wasn't looking like my usual self. I would confirm that yes, I've been feeling under the weather and have been losing sleep. I think what has really been giving me trouble is that I can't remember things and I've found it hard to concentrate for longer then 30 minutes. When I get back to the apartment I would just sit down for awhile and go blank. Usually in front of the TV. Yea... that's not a good idea.
I've been combating this depression and anxiety for the past couple weeks, along with the side effects of antibiotics. (It destroyed my probiotics. Let's just say, I've had everything come out bad on the other end.) This kind of runs in the family, and my parents have been talking to me about it. I have had this looming depression in and out when I was in High school, but I just hammered through it. This is my first year away from college, but I never felt like this the first semester away.
I want medication to be the last option to take. The side effects are what raise a red flag. Especially the "thoughts of suicide or increased thoughts." I haven't had any of these, but I have been through a past in which I lost a dear friend. I know the pain it brings, the anger, and evil it brings out in people. I do not want to put my family or anyone for that matter through that.
Here is a list of things I have changed:
Cut down my portion sizes, eating healthier and making sure I get more fruit and veggies
Lowered my Caffeine Intake. I was chugging this stuff down over the break, but when i got back I only have a cup of coffee every few days or so. Now It just makes my stomach sick.
Going to the gym at least twice a week, Trying to keep a routine and ease myself into it and not going at it full and pissed off.
Trying to record my day and see where I am wasting time and where I could spent it wisely.
Drinking plenty of water and keeping myself hydrated.
Reconnecting and keeping my Spiritual side healthy.
This month I have lost... probably somewhere between 10 to 15 pounds. So I'm not sure I made progress, or that my body is telling me something.
Then
Alright, Since I've gotten back from college after the first week i had terrible nights. I was having these hot flashes at night, Headaches and sinus pressure, waking up dehydrated, my mind was racing and there was no clear thought just a bunch of jammer, and when I go off to school that in the afternoon I would feel terrible. I went to the doctor and he said It sounded like I might have gotten a sinus infection so he prescribed me some antibiotics.
There are no longer any hot flashes, My antibiotics have been taken in full, I still feel anxiety at times and depression, and I'm still losing some sleep. The loss of sleep though i think may be that my thoughts are still going and that occasionally I hear a random sound. One night i heard knocking on my window, then my door. I just dismissed the sounds. It was probably some drunks since I live on the ground level of our apartment complex and hear them occasionally yell or rev up their vehicles at night. Every once in awhile I would get a headache in all of this, so I went to the store and picked up some Tylenol PM. It would help me sleep, and I took it for a few days but the headaches are wearing off and tonight was the night I stopped and now I'm back to an irregular sleep schedule it seems.
Now
Some of my friends have shown concern for me and have asked if I was doing ok or that I wasn't looking like my usual self. I would confirm that yes, I've been feeling under the weather and have been losing sleep. I think what has really been giving me trouble is that I can't remember things and I've found it hard to concentrate for longer then 30 minutes. When I get back to the apartment I would just sit down for awhile and go blank. Usually in front of the TV. Yea... that's not a good idea.
I've been combating this depression and anxiety for the past couple weeks, along with the side effects of antibiotics. (It destroyed my probiotics. Let's just say, I've had everything come out bad on the other end.) This kind of runs in the family, and my parents have been talking to me about it. I have had this looming depression in and out when I was in High school, but I just hammered through it. This is my first year away from college, but I never felt like this the first semester away.
I want medication to be the last option to take. The side effects are what raise a red flag. Especially the "thoughts of suicide or increased thoughts." I haven't had any of these, but I have been through a past in which I lost a dear friend. I know the pain it brings, the anger, and evil it brings out in people. I do not want to put my family or anyone for that matter through that.
Here is a list of things I have changed:
Cut down my portion sizes, eating healthier and making sure I get more fruit and veggies
Lowered my Caffeine Intake. I was chugging this stuff down over the break, but when i got back I only have a cup of coffee every few days or so. Now It just makes my stomach sick.
Going to the gym at least twice a week, Trying to keep a routine and ease myself into it and not going at it full and pissed off.
Trying to record my day and see where I am wasting time and where I could spent it wisely.
Drinking plenty of water and keeping myself hydrated.
Reconnecting and keeping my Spiritual side healthy.
This month I have lost... probably somewhere between 10 to 15 pounds. So I'm not sure I made progress, or that my body is telling me something.
"Life is a storm my young friend, you will bask in the sunlight one moment be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes."
Dakata on
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First, I want you to realize that the feelings you have a very normal and not out of the ordinary realm of depression and anxiety. Your brain chemistry really tends to hit when you are this age, so don't be too surprised. I know my depression got really bad at that age too. I know you have fears about medication, but honestly, it may be one of your best bets aside from going to your University's counseling center (which should be free!).
This is a very big concern for anyone who hears about anti-depressants and it really scares people. It scared me so bad that I asked my doctor about it and he told me that it really only happens in teenagers and statistically, it isn't a big concern for adults. The best thing you can do is let a close friend or family member know that you are starting anti-depressants and maybe to monitor you. Honestly, the only thing you will probably feel in two to four weeks is a lifting of your depression and anxiety. It will be like a whole new world where you can be yourself and function like everyone else. There is an often perpetuated myth that antidepressants make you robotically happy or something, and that certainly isn't the case. My best explanation is that it gives me the capacity to be happy, whereas before I could never be happy, no matter what I did.
Schools website is down. Bleh.
I'm ADHD (Not related to what you are experiencing, I know) and have a hard time going to sleep. I started taking 5-10mgs of Melatonin for it. Perhaps you should give it a go. Great sleep for me anyway.
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As was already said, statistically there's no significant suicide risk for adults going on SSRIs. Are there other side effects that make you want to stay away from them? Some of the side effects are more difficult to deal with than others, but there are things you can do that will help alleviate a number of them. Working with a good doctor who knows their stuff can be incredibly helpful in finding a medication that is effective for you without the side effects. But you have to be willing to be persistent and let the doctor work with you.
When I was younger and my depression worsened I would go on medication for a bit, but I'd never stay on them very long because the side effects (usually muscle tremors, increased anxiety, sexual side effects) would eventually be harder to deal with than the depression. But once I was willing to be patient and spend some time working with a good doctor and trying a few different medications I was able to find something that works.
There is relatively little reason to postpone seeking some help from medications if you need them. Keep in mind that it takes a couple weeks for most meds to start working, so if you're going to start them it's better to do it *before* you absolutely *need* them. As a completely unqualified lay person, it sounds like you could use something to help you get through a tough period and there's no reason to delay.
Edit: And thank you all for your support. I just don't know what to do, and some of the people I ask just tell me it will wear off.
Good news is i fell asleep last night without the use of Tylenol PM.
And again, thank you all for helping me.
3DS: 1521-4165-5907
PS3: KayleSolo
Live: Kayle Solo
WiiU: KayleSolo
I've tried hoping it will wear off, it wasn't a good plan for me, so I've started having help.
You sound like you're doing the right things to help yourself - eating well, exercising and cutting out caffeine can make a really big difference. Don't be afraid of anti-depressants - your doc will monitor you while you're on them. You could try cutting out TV/PC/gaming for an hour before you go to bed, so your mind has chance to wind down.
For paintings in progress, check out canvas and paints
"The power of the weirdness compels me."
This week has been good.
When I went in I told her some major stressors that happened in the past year, and the that right now I'm coping with depression. She was very nice and took the time with me and wants me to come in friday for a follow up because of the time restraint.
There were tears, and this is coming from a big guy. Normally, i keep my crying to myself.
First, I want to congratulate you for recognizing that the first best move was to seek professional help when people began expressing their concern and you realized they were right. You have no idea how many people just can't bring themselves to do this, or perhaps won't even recognize a problem. In itself this is something to be proud of and feel good about.
If you trust your therapist, don't be afraid to open up and see what comes out. Don't get me wrong, it's scary as hell... and don't make the mistake of thinking that the catharsis will make everything better. It won't. But what follows can be so constructive, and sometimes just the act of letting someone else in can help you deal. I've certainly found that, and people around here (by which I mean the forums at large) can be very supportive if you need an ear.
You're welcome to contact me if you need to talk sometime; if I'm around I'll listen.
Thank you, I appreciate your help.
The follow up went rather well, though I was exhausted by lack of sleep. I touched on a few other topics this time about annoyances and some stressors. I also dove deeper into all of the crap I went through last year and how moving away from home into a new environment stressed me out a lot.
I think i might have to write down problems before i go in there and keep them with me. Sometimes I forget them when I arrive at the center, especially with my sleeping being off.
Another thing you might want to do is to try to realize when you're having anxiety/depression-fueled thoughts. I've found that helpful in managing my own depression and anxiety...rather than succumbing to a string of negative thoughts putting myself down, I'll step back and remind myself that "this is the depression/anxiety talking, and this will pass". It took some practice, but it helps to avoid getting sucked into that negativity and letting it consume you. It helps you keep your head above water. Obviously, moments like that still suck, but it really does help to remind yourself that it's not going to go on forever...and that it's a result of your depression/anxiety, and not rational, level-headed thinking.
That's one of the things they teach you to do in cognitive-behavioural therapy, in fact... identifying, interrupting, and questioning the anxiety/depression thought patterns. It's a great technique.
OP, once you've had time with the counsellor, if you look into taking any meds at all, rest assured that there's a nice, modern crop of SSRIs out there that have far fewer side effects for most people than the older stuff (Prozac, Paxil, etc.) did. And if you try one that fucks you up at all, you can go back to the doctor and discuss the side effects. It can take a few tries to find one that works for you, but you could also get lucky like I did and have one that works great on the first shot.
I notice that when i get bummed out I turn to funny videos on youtube. I think i need to stop that because it is starting to mess up my work.
I'm glad though that the Anxiety is going away and the panic attacks haven't hit any, but I'm also going to need to learn how to control my urges to go on the internet to escape.
There's nothing wrong with anyone crying, its worse for you if you bottle stuff up - it will come out in the end anyway in some way.
Why not use the internet as a reward for yourself for achieving the things you want to do - even if that thing is just getting on top of your work, getting through the day, or a celebration of staying clam and focussed on something? I reward myself for stuff, even little things, cos sometimes I just need to.
I want to third the CBT stuff - my psychologist called those negative thoughts "hot thoughts" and taught me how to recognise them and manage them. I used to tell myself I was worthless and a drain on my family just because I wasn't well enough to do something. I said stuff like that a lot to myself - no prizes for guessing how I felt! Now, when I'm not well, I reflect back on what I've managed to do and praise myself for it instead. It helps me stay more positive.
For paintings in progress, check out canvas and paints
"The power of the weirdness compels me."
This is an old post but I wanted to point out that it looks like using melatonin on a frequent basis can either worsen depression or interrupt the action of SSRIs or both: http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/melatonin-000315.htm
I noticed this myself a few years ago when I was taking melatonin for my own insomnia, and it turns out that it's been seen in clinical studies.
There's some contradictory data that suggests the opposite can happen, but it's not clear whether that's due to dosage or schedule or individual variation or placebo effect. So just be cautious with it.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I woke up tired as all get out, I could barely get through the day. So i decided, "I need some damn coffee... And strong shit."
I went over to the cafe and got a "eye opener". After drinking it in a 20 minute time period i started to get really jittery during my class, so much that it inhibited me to remember 5 lines for acting in front of the camera. The prof then told me and my partner to improv and we did DAMN good improvisation. The rest of the day i remained high energy and more social.
So in conclusion, I now know that I have a bad caffeine addiction. A contributing factor is that the withdraw is making me really low energy. The good that came out of it though, was being able to block a 1:30 second scene in less then 45 minutes and draw up a story board, get a really good workout in and feel more focused, and have a sort of cheery attitude throughout the day.
The bad news is, I think I might have taken a few people off gaurd, and I might crash and feel worse...
Counseling,
Went in and talked about a few things that were starting to eat away at me. She told me two things, that I should be more assertive, and that I might want to take a Philosophy course.
I think the reason why she might suggest a philosophy course is that I'm always thinking about life and whatnot.
I've recently had problems with anxiety as well, and I have to tell you: I was a big coffee drinker (seemed like a requisite working in a newsroom; it wasn't) and I noticed that it made things a lot worse. Eventually I cut it out completely (the withdrawals, which lasted a couple of days, at least, sucked), switched to low-caffeine teas, and that helped a lot. I mean, there are a million things going on in your life right now, but I'd consider dropping the caffeine if you can. Not just because it can make you jittery on its own, but also because it's concerning you apart from that.
Just one thought. Clearly there's no precise science when it comes to dealing with these issues, but even a minor lifestyle change like this can be surprisingly helpful, I've found.
That they put on a scowl unintentionally and go outside. They don't respond to much or feel disconnected with others?
Maybe my days are just repetitive.
It's at a point now that I cover myself in the robe of indifference. That There are times when I just say "meh" to everything and it just kills me. I'm so afraid of voicing my own opinion because I'll get ripped by someone, and the one thing I don't need the my profession is a bad reputation. But, keeping myself silent leaves me with the feeling that I'm missing out.
This sums up a bit of it. *bookmarked(
@ceres Thank you.
So I'm back again. I decided to take a break from the forums and get out a little more. That and some of my studies was falling behind due to depression.
One thing I've noticed is that I always feel awkward when I talk about my problems to someone in person. Going online and having the advantage of being anonymous I guess plays into the whole opening out, but it's not really helping me that much. That's why I left in the first place.
I've improved a bit and I've been just getting out a little bit more. I've found myself receding at times, which is natural since I'm still trying to find out more about myself.
I've still been keeping my soda to a minimum. The only time I drink soda is when I'm out with friends, even then it's too sweet so i can only get through maybe one glass. Sometimes I don't bother even ordering a soda, I'll get tea or something else.
You mentioned back in February that you had begun to see someone, and I hope you are continuing to do so.
I've struggled with depression off and on for about as long as I can remember.
I'd been prescribed medication in the past, but I didn't have the discipline to keep up my doses—I was tempted to go out drinking, smoke weed, and I was ultimately deterred by the stigma attached to antidepressants.
A couple months ago I fell back into my familiar slump—I felt sad, isolated, tired, disinterested in school, for no particular reason. Sure there were problems, but those didn't account for the weight on my chest. I got back on an antidepressant, but this time I stuck with it. I feel much saner now.
Hands-down, it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I'm not always happy, but I feel like my mood falls within normal ranges. Things that I used to dwell on I can now put a positive spin on, or just brush off. It always felt like there was this gnawing self-doubt in the back of my mind, seeping into everything I did. It's gone now. What's more, I feel like a much more pleasant person to be around, and that in itself improves my mood.
There are a lot of widely-held misconceptions and stigmas associated with psychopharmacological treatments and mental illness in general; don't let those deter you. Chronic depression is an illness with a biological cause. If you have been diagnosed with it, I would encourage you to try medication the same as you would for bronchitis or any other life-affecting illness.
EDIT: I read your posts. You say that you're in college, but you don't mention anything about alcohol or drug intake (which is fair, as it can be a sensitive topic). You should bear in mind that drugs and alcohol can influence even healthy peoples' moods, and present an additional dimension to your problem if you are struggling with depression.
Also, drugs and alcohol can be pretty tempting defense mechanisms. The line between going out drinking with friends and drinking to compensate for depression while hanging out with friends can be ambiguous. You will want to take a moment and carefully consider how much of your social life involves drug or alcohol intake, and then consider whether or not substituting an antidepressant would be a healthier approach.
As a final word, I want to say that antidepressants aren't a panacea, that you may need to work and be introspective, and that research shows antidepressants are most effective when combined with cognitive-behavioural therapy.