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About a girl but not a girl thread

SamSam Registered User regular
edited March 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
At one point I was pretty intensely attracted to and infatuated with a girl. I played my cards shitty and the feeling wasn't mutual. Boo hoo. it doesn't matter to me anymore.
Anyway she's still civil and all, but god damn, every time I see her it's like a jolt runs through my head, making me very, very uncomfortable. it's pretty visible too.

i'd like to not lose my bearings in public anymore.
has anything similar happened to anyone else?

Sam on

Posts

  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Man, on the forum index, it totally cut the word "thread" from the end of the subject.

    This is totally not what I was expecting. :lol:

    Thanatos on
  • kingmetalkingmetal Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I also was fooled by the title. goddamnit, I was hoping this would be exciting.

    OP: I've got one of these too and its been about 3 years of what you're describing. I would suggest seeing her less and just giving it time. we can now hang out in the same room (even sleep in the same bed) without me wanting badly to drink myself into a coma.

    kingmetal on
  • corcorigancorcorigan Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Telling one of my friends the girl he fancied was "ugly and strange" worked quite well it seems. I then said that another girl he'd had his eye on was "sexy and I'd do her" and probably just shifted the issue over though.

    corcorigan on
    Ad Astra Per Aspera
  • LBLB Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    The same thing happened to me, except with a guy. I couldn't meet his eyes for months, and even though it's been years since I've seen him I still cringe when I think of him. Time is the best remedy, but avoiding her will also work. You can't really control what makes you uncomfortable, so staying away from the whole situation is probably a good idea.

    LB on
  • kingmetalkingmetal Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    ohhh wow I didn't really read this thread right - you're talking about discomfort due to embarrassment? I thought this was a residual infatuation thing. I think what I told you still holds water though - time and such.

    also:
    corcorigan wrote: »
    Telling one of my friends the girl he fancied was "ugly and strange" worked quite well it seems. I then said that another girl he'd had his eye on was "sexy and I'd do her" and probably just shifted the issue over though.

    I really don't understand this.

    kingmetal on
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2007
    kingmetal wrote: »
    corcorigan wrote: »
    Telling one of my friends the girl he fancied was "ugly and strange" worked quite well it seems. I then said that another girl he'd had his eye on was "sexy and I'd do her" and probably just shifted the issue over though.

    I really don't understand this.

    Yeah it seems like a really bad idea to me to tell your friend that the girl he likes is an ugly wierdo if your intent is to help him get over embarassment. It seems like a very good way to discourage the friend from sharing this sort of thing with you anymore, though.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Try to remember that you're a human being and your emotions will sometimes get the best of you.

    In my care, I associated a person as a possible candidate in the past but ended up fucking it up more then likely because I was so awkward around her. Still happens from time to time.

    There's not a hell of a lot you can do to make that feeling go away unfortunately. What I've done in the past is simply avoid the person at all cost because it's not healthy. If you're in a situation where you can't really avoid the person, try to mentally disassociate her with any feelings you have had in the past. Repeat it in your head that you're not going to get anywhere with the person and that you like her like one of your guy pals. Don't jerk off to imagery of her, don't fantasize about her in any way and if at all possible try farting when she's there.

    I know you're all like, what the hell Meiz? I don't know, it works for me. For the most part in social situations, I'm on my best behavior. I can let one rip with friends though. If you get into your own comfort zone while she's around then you probably won't be as agitated.

    And if that doesn't work, try picturing her in awkward situations. I don't know if you hold this person on a pedestal but if you were to say, think about her sharting in a pool, having a pension to pick her nose or whatever else you can think of, then you might not feel so uneasy.

    Meiz on
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Wait, are you uncomfortable because you're still attracted to her or because she spurned you?


    I mean, I've fallen pretty hard for some straight dudes. Let me tell you : that's pretty damn sucky. Especially because they're generally dumb and straight and don't catch on to anything, I was expected to interact with them normally on a day to day basis. Which sucks.

    Time made things better, slowly but surely. Finding someone else helped alot too. I don't think there's any quick fix available you just get over them yourself.

    Casual Eddy on
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