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Meeting new people when you're basically a 27 year old cat lady (minus the cats)?
oracle
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey guys! Okay so this is..,perhaps a rather strange problem but I figured, hey, why not throw this in the ring and see what you come up with.
The problem: I don't know how to make new friends anymore, maybe?
The backstory: When I was 18 I moved from a small town to Vancouver, BC with my boyfriend to go to university. The trouble is that I never really made friends here in Vancouver, and I miss having people to see a movie with, or go out for coffee or some drinks and dinner or something. I'm still with my boyfriend and he's my best friend and I love him and there is no issue there whatsoever. He's in service and works a lot of evenings and weekends and is trying to start a business on top of that so I end up not doing a lot of things because he's busy or at work and I have nobody else to go with.
I guess part of the problem is that I'd really like some female friends my age who are into the same things that I am, but I guess I'm kind of strange maybe? I just don't run into a lot of other women (especially around my age, I'm 27 now) who are into stuff like comics, gaming, and action movies. Actually I just don't really meet a lot of new people period, which is probably the majority of my problem. I wish there was an OKCupid type thing for people who are just looking for friends! Maybe there is? You know like you post a profile, you can look through other ones in your area, send messages to people that you think you would click with? I feel like Craigslist might be sketchy. But maybe not?
Anyways, I'm aware that this is a silly problem that exists much more in my head than in the real world. But if you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them!
TL;DR How does one go about meeting new friends when they are getting older and are, frankly, kind eccentric?
The problem: I don't know how to make new friends anymore, maybe?
The backstory: When I was 18 I moved from a small town to Vancouver, BC with my boyfriend to go to university. The trouble is that I never really made friends here in Vancouver, and I miss having people to see a movie with, or go out for coffee or some drinks and dinner or something. I'm still with my boyfriend and he's my best friend and I love him and there is no issue there whatsoever. He's in service and works a lot of evenings and weekends and is trying to start a business on top of that so I end up not doing a lot of things because he's busy or at work and I have nobody else to go with.
I guess part of the problem is that I'd really like some female friends my age who are into the same things that I am, but I guess I'm kind of strange maybe? I just don't run into a lot of other women (especially around my age, I'm 27 now) who are into stuff like comics, gaming, and action movies. Actually I just don't really meet a lot of new people period, which is probably the majority of my problem. I wish there was an OKCupid type thing for people who are just looking for friends! Maybe there is? You know like you post a profile, you can look through other ones in your area, send messages to people that you think you would click with? I feel like Craigslist might be sketchy. But maybe not?
Anyways, I'm aware that this is a silly problem that exists much more in my head than in the real world. But if you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them!
TL;DR How does one go about meeting new friends when they are getting older and are, frankly, kind eccentric?
oracle on
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http://www.meetup.com/cities/ca/bc/vancouver/
http://stitchnbitch.org/British-Columbia/index.html
For some further info I'm terrible at any and all sports, but I do love to dance! I go to classes a couple of times a week and I really like going to burlesque shows. Vancouver actually has a really thriving burlesque community, I just don't really feel safe going out to a bar alone (usually the venues are bars) so I don't get to go often. I drag my boyfriend to them sometimes but I think he gets tired of them. LOL Pretty much he'll come to the big festival that happens in May and sometimes if there is a really different one (like recently I convinced him to come to a show that was a film noir-style detective story with burlesque numbers in it). If he's not working he's not usually interested in going to the weekly Kitty Nights event at the Biltmore or the Thursday night show by Sweet Soul at the Keefer.
I don't play table top RPGs, I tried back in high school and it just didn't really hold my interest. Good thought though for if I ever want to give it a try again.
I don't know how to knit at all, but I happen to know there is a Stitch & Bitch that meets up at a Blenz not too far from where I live (downtown). I see them sometimes when I'm walking home from dance classes. I could always learn!
I DO want to go to PAX, I've just never been able to convince the BF to go. LOL He's into Comic Con, but PAX is a tough sell as he's not a big gamer. That's a great idea though, I will definitely check to see if there are any ladies from Vancouver going down this year that might want to carpool/be roomies. That would be fun!
Let's see...I also really like to see live music, I'm mostly into hard rock and metal, but I'd totally be into some classy jazz too. I'm a web developer and I do go to local networking events (the Drupal meet-up, Web Not War, etc) sometimes, that's more for business contacts though.
Haha, thanks for not making me feel like a total freak guys. I'm honestly pretty embarrassed at the fact that I have nobody who is like a regular hang-out friend after living in this city for almost 10 years. It was just school, and then work and part-time school, and then I had two jobs for a couple of years, and it didn't leave a heck of a lot of time for socializing and now I'm old and feel awkward about it. LOL
Honestly, my fiance and I have had a similar experience near you in the last two years (we're just across the way in Victoria, though)-- no friends at all, just maybe a couple of acquaintances that could have become friends if we had been able to put in a little more effort while we were going to school. There were a couple people I wanted to be friends with in a club we tried to get into, but my fiance didn't really like the club so that didn't quite work out. We're personally about to move back to our respective homes (we're both international students), but not just for that reason, naturally. I'm sure you'll do fine finding friends, though, especially since you're probably looking to more permanently stay where you are! I'm just sort of glad we aren't the only people who had a similar experience in the area, since it can be kind of disheartening, as you know.
Since you like live music, I'd bet there are plenty of places you could go to see some local bands play. Maybe that would be a good idea for meeting some people? Try checking out the Current Events section in your newspaper or elsewhere... I bet there are tons of cool things going on in the area you don't even know about (I mean, it's Vancouver, after all). Otherwise, all the ideas people have posted here are also good plans!
I second this. I recently got back into playing Magic and went to a few tournaments at a local store. I got to meet some cool new people, all very friendly, and hey we have a shared interest.
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I'm originally from the island, I have family in Victoria actually. I still have a bunch of friends there too but yeah, 1 hour bus ride + 2 hour ferry ride each way doesn't make it very convenient for hang outs. Sorry to hear that you and your fiance didn't really connect with anybody before heading home. I definitely found it hard in school, I was on scholarship and had to study my butt off to keep it so I really didn't go out much. I had friends in class but once the semester was over I usually didn't see them again.
There is definitely always tons of stuff going on in terms of live shows here in Vancouver, I always just feel kind of weird about going by myself if that makes sense? I don't know, I'm kind of awkward, the idea of just going up to random strangers and saying 'hey' is kind of terrifying. LOL I probably need to just get over that.
Heh, it's mostly the being at the bar by myself that kind of freaks me out. Is it weird that I feel weird about going on my own? I wouldn't really know how to introduce myself to anybody, I'm kind of awkward like that. LOL I could always try it, wouldn't kill me. Worst case scenario a few people wonder who that strange girl was.
I do go to dance classes which is really fun, it's not partner dancing though so maybe that's an idea. I tend to go, do the class, and then leave without really saying much to anybody beyond 'hi'. LOL I really need to not be so awkward.
As someone that met most of his friends through it (and now I run my own group), I'm also going to mention that this is a much common problem. After college it's hard to meet new people that you can call friends.
You have some kind of job, right? Surely someone there can't be too bad, eh?
but they're listening to every word I say
Bars are not the greatest place to go on your own to make friends, since they are generally the kind of place that people go *with* friends and stick in their own little group. That's why some sort of organised activity like dancing, hiking, or playing Magic the Gathering is generally a better bet. If you like burlesque, why not take burlesque classes?
Meetup has been great for me in regards to snowboarding.
Most importantly, don't be discouraged if you go out and don't hit it off with anyone on the first go. There are tons of cool people out there, and you will run in to one or two eventually.
And stop calling yourself awkward :P You seem like a good natured person with diverse interests and trying to make new friends can be intimidating to anyone!
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We do! It's called "college."
And it's kickball, so you don't ahve to be super athletic, you just need to have a good time!
This goes on every Saturday at the art gallery, and they're really great people. Hula hoops also go fantastically with burlesque, a significant portion of the hooping crowd here is actually a part of that thriving community, too.
I imagine it's a bring-your-own hoop type thing?
And everyone thanks for all the suggestions! You guys are the best.
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They meet up Saturdays between 2 and 4 pm, usually around the entrance to the gallery. (not the Georgia street side)
On another note, if you happen to be a sushi fan I can't recommend Toshi's enough. They're up on 16th and Main, and be prepared to wait in line for at least 1/2 hour regardless of when you go, but it's o soooo good and pretty well priced.
Oh, and it just occurred to me that since you're talking about the bus and train, you aren't driving. Biking is a great way to get around Van, there are some lovely routes. There's community potential there too, if you find a local bike shop that you like and ask around about events and such.
i've found that if you pick a place and make it your regular hangout, people will recognize you and it'll get easier to introduce yourself/make conversation, if only through 'oh, hey, you're the guy who wears those shirts'
my place is kafka's, on main and broadway. i wear shirts there. come say hi.
@Atheraal THAT IS SO COOL. I want to be able to twirl balls like King Jareth! I didn't even realize that was a thing that people actually practice. Definitely looking into that.
@Orikaeshigitae That's true, Vancouver is mostly a city of people from other places. We all have that in common anyways! Kafka's hey? I do like fancy coffee, and theirs looks pretty fancy. If I get a chance to head over this weekend (I'm actually kind of busy for once, LOL) I'll look for a guy wearing a t-shirt.
@Nirakone Yeah I think I started the thread originally not because I have trouble meeting people in general (I feel I gave you guys the wrong impression that I'm a complete shut-in, and I do love all of my coworkers, seriously great bunch of people) but more so I have trouble meeting other people (especially ladies) who are into the nerdier things in life. Fan Expo is coming up in April, I am definitely going to that. And SDCC if the badges ever go on sale...
And as several people mentioned, volunteering! Of course! Why did I not think of that before? I actually got asked this morning to volunteer as a hair model in a fundraiser, so I'm doing that! Funnily enough, I know the lady that runs the charity they are fundraising for. They were looking for burlesque dancers, but I have a feeling they are thinking more Christina Aguilera burlesque than Dita Von Teese burlesque. LOL We'll see.
I hope this thread has been helpful to others too! I should change the title to 'Rad Things To Do in Vancouver'. If anybody wants more info on the burlesque classes this is where I go: http://www.vancouverburlesquecentre.ca/
Message me when you do visit- I own many t-shirts. It's hard to predict which one I'll be wearing.