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Best Friend's Girlfriend Woe's

SuperunknownSuperunknown Registered User regular
edited March 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
So basically my best friend had this girlfriend that pretty much sucked all the life out of him. So because of this during the relationship (Which lasted 1.5 years) I had always been a dick to her but played it off as a joke. Then a few months ago she broke up with him expecting him to beg to take him back because she loves attention like that (Pseudo-emo shit) but of course, he was happier than ever.

I took this as a free ticket to be as big of a dick as possible to her, but as of Friday they are now back together, do I continue being a dick? Do I apologise? What am I supposed to be doing here? I still don't like her in the slightest but we're going to HAVE to be around each other.

Superunknown on

Posts

  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    So basically my best friend had this girlfriend that pretty much sucked all the life out of him. So because of this during the relationship (Which lasted 1.5 years) I had always been a dick to her but played it off as a joke. Then a few months ago she broke up with him expecting him to beg to take him back because she loves attention like that (Pseudo-emo shit) but of course, he was happier than ever.

    I took this as a free ticket to be as big of a dick as possible to her, but as of Friday they are now back together, do I continue being a dick? Do I apologise? What am I supposed to be doing here? I still don't like her in the slightest but we're going to HAVE to be around each other.

    Define 'being a dick'.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • SuperunknownSuperunknown Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Like I let her knew she was a bitch and was sucking the life out of my friend.

    Basically brutal honesty.

    Superunknown on
  • EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Why are they back together?

    Does it cause you to not hang out with your friend? has the relationship actually changed at all?

    How you choose to be perceived by other people is your own discretion. If you've "been a dick" to her consistently, I can't imagine she would think too highly of you regardless of whether you changed your approach.

    Talk to the friend about it. Ask him why they're going out again, and if it's still seemingly problematic, try to talk some sense into him.

    If it looks like things have changed, then apologize. You don't have to be all like "omg i was so wrong forever" but at least "i'm happy you two have changed and are getting along." No need to jump to conclusions, though, and it sounds somewhat reboundy. Who knows, maybe they're both horny and nothing's come up in the last few months. Is this high school age?

    EggyToast on
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  • SuperunknownSuperunknown Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    My impression of why they're back together is just because he caved in under the pressure, he was basically being stalked by her and all her friends were calling him telling him she's ruined because of him. Note thet SHE broke up with HIM. Anyway we will definately talk about him.

    But during their relationship the whole being a dick thing was played off as a joke and she just thought I was being funny but I kinda increased my out put 10 fold because she kept coming to me to "Put a good word in". But I the first thing I'm asking the friend tonight is what the hell he was thinking. He doesn't want to be with her, he's been a better man during the 2month break they had. And yes, this is high school age but I had always thought of this friend as being beyond all that.

    Superunknown on
  • HozHoz Cool Cat Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Multiple times you referred to his girlfriend as a "him" and you keep describing yourself as a dick. My Freudian senses are tingling.

    Hoz on
  • SuperunknownSuperunknown Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    I can't see anywhere where I've referred to the her as a him.

    Superunknown on
  • DioltasDioltas Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Easy. Stop being a dick to her so overtly. No need to apologize, just stick to being polite/civil (if perhaps a little cool.). Come on, we should all know how to act maturely around people we don't like in the slightest. Continuing being a dick won't help anything, even if it is "brutal honesty". From what it sounds like, even if it was the truth, you certianly went out of your way to let her know that, since I'm betting you probably hoped at least a little bit that it would hurt her. There's no good reason to do that. Be the better person her and maintain civility now and just ignore her when they break up again. Really, if she's that emo/attention seeking like that you're just feeding into it by saying anything other than "no, I won't. Goodbye." when she asks you to put in a good word. Your friend will come around with time, be patient.

    Dioltas on
  • KincaidKincaid You're standing on my neck KuwaitRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    But during their relationship the whole being a dick thing was played off as a joke and she just thought I was being funny but I kinda increased my out put 10 fold...
    But I the first thing I'm asking the friend tonight is what the hell he was thinking.

    Cut the passive aggressive bullshit.
    If you really feel the need, go ahead and let him know what you think about her.
    After that, stop bugging him about it and keep your interactions with her civil.

    Kincaid on
  • SuperunknownSuperunknown Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    He knows what I think. There's no secrets between us.

    But I'm gonna try Dioltas advice and see if that does anything.

    Superunknown on
  • Xenocide GeekXenocide Geek Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Part of having friends is being able to tolerate their girlfriends, dude.

    Even if you can't stand them, you just gotta go with the flow.

    I'm actually VERY much the opposite, and essentially was the most distant person ever last time I hung out with a friend of mine and his girlfriend (who I can't even remotely stand).

    So, learn from me, and just be civil, and somewhat sociable, if not entirely friendly.

    Xenocide Geek on
    i wanted love, i needed love
    most of all, most of all
    someone said true love was dead
    but i'm bound to fall
    bound to fall for you
    oh what can i do
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