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Silly Register Biscuits

Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond HubbardMordor XenuRegistered User regular
edited March 2007 in Social Entropy++
So, I stopped off at Walgreen's this morning for some cough drops and Sweet Leaf Tea and I get up to the counter when this jackass of a register jockey asks me if I'd like a free sample of moisturizing shampoo. Since I had just shaved my head in the shower about twenty minutes prior and I'm sporting a smooth, clean cranium, I pause long enough for these words to run through my head:

WHISKEY. TANGO. FOXTROT.

Now, I realize that you, Mr. Registermonkey, have been up for three days on whatever kind of drug-induced haze that kids engage in these days, but what in the name of all that's profane would make you think that a bald man with sexcellent skin needs some goddamned moisturizing shampoo?

At this moment, I realized exactly what I'm going to do with 3.3 fluid ounces of Nexxus Luxury Moisturizing Shampoo:

I'm going to shave something on my body and I turn to you, denizens of the internet, for suggestions.

Your thoughts?

Darth Waiter on

Posts

  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    don't you have a goatee

    shampoo and conditioner is important for a silky and luxurious goatee

    Knob on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2007
    Jesus shaves.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    i had the most epic quest for condoms last night

    tugga on
  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Oh hello everyone

    Favlaud on
  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    apply to crotch.

    Synthetic Orange on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    don't you have a goatee

    shampoo and conditioner is important for a silky and luxurious goatee

    I keep it short.

    Darth Waiter on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    apply to crotch.

    i shampoo my crotch hairs

    sometimes i use conditioner on it too, but most of the time that seems like overkill

    Knob on
  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Hello Fav. How was your vacation?

    Synthetic Orange on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited March 2007
    i could post in this thread but my answer would be contrived and obvious anyway so i'll refrain from doing so

    except to post this obviously

    bongi on
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Favlaud wrote: »
    Oh hello everyone

    who r u?

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2007
    darth

    shave

    everything

    I'm talkin' facial hair, eyebrows, the whole nine yards

    all mufuckin rockin the cancerboy look

    drives the ladies wild when you can tell em you're dead in six weeks

    plus

    no commitment

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • bongibongi regular
    edited March 2007
    i mean to say shave you groin and pm pics

    bongi on
  • PillsAreNicePillsAreNice Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Maybe he thought you would give it to a friend.

    PillsAreNice on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    See my game reviews at: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=strangegamer
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    darth

    shave

    everything

    I'm talkin' facial hair, eyebrows, the whole nine yards

    all mufuckin rockin the cancerboy look

    drives the ladies wild when you can tell em you're dead in six weeks

    plus

    no commitment

    This is the kind of answer I'm looking for. However, I'm too healthy looking for cancer. This may require some extra effort.

    Darth Waiter on
  • PataPata Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Favlaud wrote: »
    Oh hello everyone

    Sup Favlaud.

    Pata on
    SRWWSig.pngEpisode 5: Mecha-World, Mecha-nisim, Mecha-beasts
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Maybe he thought you would give it to a friend.

    I have no friends, only enemies and pawns in my quest for world domination.

    Darth Waiter on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2007
    darth

    shave

    everything

    I'm talkin' facial hair, eyebrows, the whole nine yards

    all mufuckin rockin the cancerboy look

    drives the ladies wild when you can tell em you're dead in six weeks

    plus

    no commitment

    This is the kind of answer I'm looking for. However, I'm too healthy looking for cancer. This may require some extra effort.

    no no no

    that's where the hairless thing comes in

    tell em you got cancer of the palindrome

    and you had to go through chemo so you lost all your hair

    everywhere

    wanna see?

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    wear tight pants and eyeliner

    tell them you put the emo back in chemo

    Knob on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Rank, that's a pretty sharp tactic.

    Knob's is definitely funnier.

    Darth Waiter on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    wear tight pants and eyeliner

    tell them you put the emo back in chemo

    fighting to live through the wretchedness of life

    just so you can end it yourself

    because irony is your only friend

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • mcpmcp Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    He probably has to ask everyone that comes in.

    I doubt he sizes each person up and contemplates whether or not they'd make a good recipient of his fine shampoo. He's working at a fucking Walgreens. He doesn't care.

    Shave your eyebrows.

    or arms.

    mcp on
  • PataPata Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Maybe he thought you would give it to a friend.

    I have no friends, only enemies and pawns in my quest for world domination.

    How would he know that.

    Pata on
    SRWWSig.pngEpisode 5: Mecha-World, Mecha-nisim, Mecha-beasts
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    i bet he went home and got super ripped, then played some halo 2 and told the dudes he was playing with how he totally offered this bald guy some shampoo at work today

    Knob on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited March 2007
    i still don't understand what biscuits have to do with this darth

    bongi on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    yay favvles isn't jailed

    Weaver on
  • KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited March 2007
    all, "dudes i totally pwned a nazi today there was this skinhead and i was all 'would you like some shampoo sir'"

    Knob on
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    shave the superman s into your chest hair

    mrpaku on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Pata wrote: »
    How would he know that.

    Touche', salesman.

    Touche' to mcp as well.

    If anyone wants to share their favorite moments with the best that high school got rid of, please do so. I never really expected that the concept of me shaving my nuts was gonna carry the thread all day.

    Darth Waiter on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    bongi wrote: »
    i still don't understand what biscuits have to do with this darth

    Register biscuit/monkey/jockey.

    They're really all kind of interchangable.

    Oh, and Zodiac was pretty goddamned good you guys.

    Darth Waiter on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited March 2007
    bongi wrote: »
    i still don't understand what biscuits have to do with this darth

    Register biscuit/monkey/jockey.

    They're really all kind of interchangable.

    Oh, and Zodiac was pretty goddamned good you guys.

    was jake gyllenhaal dreamy?

    bongi on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    He was a total boy scout. Robert Downey Jr. played a startling rendition of himself as a coked-out, metrosexual newspaper reporter.

    So, not a stretch really.

    Darth Waiter on
  • mcpmcp Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    i knew this chick once that had really hairy arms. Like, a shade away from being Robin Williams. Other than that, she was smokin' hot.

    So, she would shave her arms. It was kinda weird when it would get all stubbly.

    mcp on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited March 2007
    He was a total boy scout. Robert Downey Jr. played a startling rendition of himself as a coked-out, metrosexual newspaper reporter.

    So, not a stretch really.

    he was dreamy though right

    bongi on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited March 2007
    mrpaku wrote: »
    shave the superman s into your chest hair

    I just saw this.

    If I could, I would. My chest hair really isn't that heavy. It's a good idea though.

    edit:

    Bongi, it's Jake; look at the man. I would pay many rape dollars to look that good. And I guess if you're looking for proof, one of the women sitting behind me said that she just wanted to cuddle with him all day 'cause he was just that adorable.

    Less Gyllenhaal, more shavetalk, please.

    Darth Waiter on
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    i knew this girl in high school who i crushed on pretty hard for a couple of years and then one day she's being all cute with me and my friend and she's wearing one of those midriff shirts and when she goes to stretch she has this coarsely layered happy trail making a beeline from her belly button to her nethers and that was the end of that crush

    mrpaku on
  • bongibongi regular
    edited March 2007
    mrpaku wrote: »
    shave the superman s into your chest hair

    I just saw this.

    If I could, I would. My chest hair really isn't that heavy. It's a good idea though.

    edit:

    Bongi, it's Jake; look at the man. I would pay many rape dollars to look that good. And I guess if you're looking for proof, one of the women sitting behind me said that she just wanted to cuddle with him all day 'cause he was just that adorable.

    Less Gyllenhaal, more shavetalk, please.

    i already shot my proverbial load on that issue

    bongi on
  • EtchEtch Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    Perhaps biscuits is some silly slang term for retard
    =/

    Etch on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited March 2007
    americans call them crackers bongi

    PiptheFair on
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