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STD info / sex. assault counseling
IndisposedAlt
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Registered User new member
The Internet is sort of failing me here. Wikipedia-- my usual go-to for information on a subject, and then referral past-- has not really done me a great deal of help.
I'm coming off a period of prolonged sexual contact with someone who has been revealed to me to be a known area predator; he had suffered from, and at the time suffered from, numerous STDs. There was also conflicting information on whether or not he was HIV+, so I'd like to get checked for that too.
Google sort of gave me too much information, and information that was not practical. I'm in the tri-state area of the northeastern United States, and although I'm only a train ride out of NYC, I'd rather avoid the city for a time if possible.
Does anyone know anything about how I can get checked for STIs, HIV, and any resources that could direct me to low-cost or no-cost counseling? A lot of websites mention that these services are available, and confidentially, but don't give any real useful information about how to go about getting it.
Or they just have directories, and phone referrals, and, ah
I sort of know that I am passing the buck here but it's horrifying to leaf through the Google pages myself and I just get sucked into worrying about the terrible things that may or may not now be wrong with me.
I am uninsured, unemployed, and my usual general practice doctor is about 150 miles away. So.
Any direction at all would be helpful here.
I'm coming off a period of prolonged sexual contact with someone who has been revealed to me to be a known area predator; he had suffered from, and at the time suffered from, numerous STDs. There was also conflicting information on whether or not he was HIV+, so I'd like to get checked for that too.
Google sort of gave me too much information, and information that was not practical. I'm in the tri-state area of the northeastern United States, and although I'm only a train ride out of NYC, I'd rather avoid the city for a time if possible.
Does anyone know anything about how I can get checked for STIs, HIV, and any resources that could direct me to low-cost or no-cost counseling? A lot of websites mention that these services are available, and confidentially, but don't give any real useful information about how to go about getting it.
Or they just have directories, and phone referrals, and, ah
I sort of know that I am passing the buck here but it's horrifying to leaf through the Google pages myself and I just get sucked into worrying about the terrible things that may or may not now be wrong with me.
I am uninsured, unemployed, and my usual general practice doctor is about 150 miles away. So.
Any direction at all would be helpful here.
IndisposedAlt on
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Your county health and human services office is a close second.
If both those options fail, any local community hospital should be able to direct you to a nearby low-cost/no-cost clinic.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
also, its worth noting that its a crime in many jurisdictions to not disclose HIV status to a partner - its usually classed as an assault/GBH type offence. Might want to check your options on that.
Guh, though. I'm sort of nervous about contacting any of those agencies-- I think I'd be too embarassed to talk about it myself. I'll try and shake a friend out of the branches and see what I can do.
Is there a statute of limitations or anything on how long before I can come forward with the allegations? I was hoping to get the counseling first, since I am extremely emotionally distraught at the moment and cannot even bring myself to say half of the words relevant to the case when trying to explain to a stranger what happened.
The bruises et al are still visible, I should photograph those-- I know that much. Is there any sort of timeframe otherwise, or can I take this slow?
However, the sooner you go to the cops the better chance you have at getting the charges to stick. Wait too long and the cops might not take you seriously, might not be able to gather the necessary evidence, or the guy might just disappear.
Regarding going to any of those agencies, don't be nervous. There are very stringent laws protecting your privacy. You won't have to disclose any personal information to anybody who's not a doctor, nurse, or other medical professional.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Also, while there is not likely to be a statute of limitations of any short period of time involving sex crimes, time is still a factor.
Go to whatever clinic you can find immediately. I am not sure when you should involve the police, but it should be soon. Document the bruises, and any other evidence involved. Time stamped photos, medical records, etc.
I realize that all of this is tremendously difficult, and I am sure that you can find counseling. However if this ever goes to a trial, defense attorneys will do anything to call the victim into question.
Can I also ask, how old are you?
ASAP to the hospital is the number one thing to do after a rape. They document everything so that there's solid evidence to present in court. Photos, swabs, all that. It can be difficult to sit through because its intrusive (pelvic exam to spot any damage etc) but its really important if you want the guy to be convicted. Its also important for your health.
If emergency contraception is an issue, you want to get looking for Plan B right away. A lot of hospitals are now Catholic-owned in the US and in Aus, and that means that the staff are instructed not to inform you about reproductive options that conflict with the church's beliefs, whether you're a believer or not. You need to find a non-judgemental pharmacist that stocks the stuff. PP should be able to help you out, and I believe there's a website now listing sources for the drug across the US.
Erm. This is going to sound bad, but being extremely upset when reporting crimes like this can actually help. There still exists a belief that there's something suspicious about a woman who's been assaulted but who doesn't fall apart over it. Delaying reporting an assault can also be seen as questionable. People who think like this are idiots, but you are probably going to run into some of them sooner or later. One of them will be the guy's defense lawyer. In sum, get the hospital and police involved as soon as possible. Like, right now.
I'll go take care of things tomorrow. For now my head is spinny so I'm going to bed. Thank you for input all, and goodnight.
The reason I asked about age involved statutory rape, but also involving parents/guardians, etc.
Seriously, I think this got to me more than any other H/A thread. Best of luck with everything man, keep in mind:
--NOTHING that happened was your fault, no one deserves to be assaulted
--It seems tough now, but avoiding it will only make it worse
I am not 100% on this though.
Worry about your health for now, though. Get to a hospital/clinic/planned parenthood. You probably qualify for assistance in paying your medical bills (given that you're uninsured and unemployed). Whatever medical practice you go to should be able to give you the paperwork.
How long did it go on for?
HIV is usually only transmitted when prolonged contact with an infected person occurs...not just a one-off. If you've been with this person only once or twice then your chances of contracting HIV are minimal, while, if you were with him more than a few times, the chances of infection increase drastically.
How long ago were you last with him? If you can get to a clinic in time, they may be able to retrieve DNA from him and nail him down with hard evidence in court. A positive DNA sample is much more convincing evidence than just your testimony alone.
There are a number of STDs that must be reported by healthcare authorities to the CDC. These include:
HIV
Syphilis
Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
If a person has any of these diseases (which are curable aside from HIV, of course) then they must notify any past partners of their disease status upon diagnosis.
If this guy slept with you knowing that he had the full rainbow of STDs then that itself is an offence, on top of the sexual assaults.
Play your cards right and you can send this sick fuck to jail for a long long time.
They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
It's a regional thing though. My mom served on a jury that was supposed to convict a man who had raped a little boy. They weren't told until afterwards that the man has AIDS and that now he could have passed that life threatening disease on to the kid. He got life in prison, but he deserved worse. The authorities are the ones who withheld the information though, somthing about protecting the guys rights.
Anywho, OP, you should definately get checked out as soon as you can. Not taking action immediately isn't worth losing your junk over. If they catch it now, there is a good chance the damage can be minimized.
Also, if you are HIV+, the earliest a test will be able to see it is 6 months or so after infection.