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My little drama rant!
EclecticGroove
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Pardon at the beginning for the length of this post.
Ok, let me get a few things out from the beginning. Not saying to ignore these points, just that I'm aware of them already.
Those are that:
Yes I let it go on too long, and I know not to try and take her back if she ever makes the attempt, etc.
With that.. this is of course about a girl.
I just need to get this off my chest so I can hopefully just bury it and move on sooner rather than later... as all who have been burned badly in a relationship know... it can be no small task to get over sometimes.
This girl and I had been friends and known each other for a few years now, we started getting a fair bit more comfortable with each other as time went on. We'd had other relationships previously but didn't at this time. So, with that... we decided to date each other. For a time things were great... we lived with each other for about 3 months, and she'd basically stayed with me the majority of time for awhile before that.
Now, after this point she was entering the US AF BMT, after which she would be in the AF reserves to serve her duty, go back to school and finish up her degree, and then she would look for a job using her skills.
I knew she was going to the AF reserves even when I first met her... there was a question about it at one point due to a possible medical issue but it was waivered and she was allowed to go.
Now, over the next few months she was in BMT... so little to no contact, it was expected even if unpleasant. Our last night together before she left was sad yet hopeful for all she would get out of the training and of the future she would have ahead of her. (Read: we were both teary eyed and didn't want to leave each others sight).
Now... during BMT I did not recieve any calls, but I heard that was far fomr uncommon, yet I did receive several letters. I in turn sent her one back every single day from the time I had her address. Of all her friends and even family, I was the only one to send that many, and only one of her other friends sent her a single letter.
I visited her for her BMT graduation, I was the only one there aside from her family, and the only one who stayed there with her the whole time, they left after the first day.
She was VERY different there, reserved, cold, tired looking, and almost unapproachable.
I was worried about it at first, as I've never been to one of these but later on I relaxed as she seemed to open up ever so slightly and explain all the restrictions and concerns she had, even at this point... So I let things slide even if I was worried some, but she reassured me.
What was worrying me was how radically she'd changed her view of what she wanted to do, and was seeimingly changing everything about what she was planning without so much as a word to me at all. Active duty being a big one, something we had discussed previously and she had flat out rejected.
As she was getting ready to leave for tech school she seemed to have eased up a lot more... and we talked on the phone for much of that night as she was packing, some of the trip down, and a good portion of the day she arrived. This week would be the last of the "good times" I had with her.
Over the next few months we went from talking daily, even if about nothing, to talking every few days, then to talking breifly every few days, to her rushing me off the phone more often than not, to talking every few days or so for a couple minutes on average.
She had increasingly mentioned the name of a fellow airman during this time, and the amount and manner of it caught my attention, yet she blew it off when I made mention of it at one time. So I let it go, as I had no way to even begin to know what she was doing down there.
Also around this time she began messing around with her myspace a lot (from the lab pc's there). I had rarely done much on the site, and almost never went there save to check messages, but one day I happened to see her profile pic had changed and I went in and found she had removed almost all the pictures of me that were there and had given her site a very dark layout, in addition she made a rather disturbing blog entry about how lost she felt at the moment, etc.
None of this was conveyed to me at all and when I asked her if she was ok... but she basically blew me off. As far as taking the pictures down she said she just didn't like them and only kept one of me there (she'd removed all of the ones of us together).
I'd commented on her blog and basically tried to cheer her up, but she deleted it... and when I asked about that she said she didn't like anyone commenting on her blogs (again... I simply let this slide as others had commented on blogs before and they were still there).
This was all before Christmas break, which was coming up pretty quickly for her.
I had planned out a trip that would bring her up here for the week she had off and we would see my family as well as hers. It was a fight to work out... she was seemingly uninterterested in coming up from tech school at first, then changed her mind and seemed to look forward to it.
When she came up she was VERY distant at first, and was constantly on her phone the first two nights with this person at school texting back and forth and talking on the phone occasionally.
Yeah, it annoyed me... and I wasn't exactly hopeful for the coming week. But then the second night she put the phone down and we had were almost like we were prior to her leaving, she ignored all of the messages he sent to her that night and he never tried to contact her again during the week and didn't respond to her when she tried to contact him either via e-mail, MSN, or on myspace.
She was notably irritated by his brushing her off (which I did not take as a good sign) and turned to a mutual friend of ours to vent. Previously we'd ALWAYS been able to talk, and yet after graduation, she refused to talk to me about anything in her life, her feelings, or even serious concerns save brief moments.
Over the next week she spent the majority of her time talking to this mutual friend. On the phone, via text messages on the phone, in an online game we all played together for a time, via MSN, etc (you get the point).
From the time she'd wake up till even after she'd gone to bed they would be exchanging messages in one way or another. We would go out to eat and she would have her phone there, tossing messages back and forth. We decide to watch a movie and she would stay on the PC talking to him. I'd go to bed and she'd be up for hours more talking to him, and would bring the phone TO BED and continue messaging.
Needless to say, I got irritated, I felt like I was babysitting more than seeing this person I cared for in a brief visit home.
To top it off, when I asked her to stop messaging during dinner, or get off the pc and watch a movie with me (or do anything so long as it was us spending time) she would act like I'd just asked her to spend her entire time with me. To recap, she would wake up between 11/12, and would go immediately to the phone/pc and start messaging away, this would last all day until she went to sleep, which was between 12-4am. The times I asked her to spend with me basically "carved" about 2 hours tops out of that.
To put things in further perspective, we shared a phone plan, was cheap and never been a problem... she sent/received roughly 1200 text messages on her phone that week... that's not including the time on her PC with MSN, etc.
At the end of the week we talked some... I confronted her about the previous guy down at tech school, and also about the mutual friend of ours. She denied anything had gone on with either of them, but did finally admit to things with the guy at tech school not being strictly platonic and that he had been making advances that she hadn't necissarily rebuffed completely, but that nothing had happened. I asked for her explanation in it all, since I felt I deserved the truth. She said she would once she had "figured a few things out for herself".
Again, I was not content with that answer, but I let it slide for the moment. At the end of the trip I was expecting to break up with her, I felt she was too cold and distant, and that she had simply decided that we would no longer be together anymore. However, at the end of the trip she opened up a fair bit, telling me to remember when she'd asked me to not let her go, to always be with her, etc. A really sweet and heartwarming memory for the last moments of her trip. During that weekend we talked a lot with one another... then that Monday she called me in the morning all chipper.. and that was the last pleasant call I'd ever gotten from her (right after New Years).
Over the next several weeks she called me.. I think 3 times... maybe. I managed to reach her one time on her birthday to wish her happy birthday, and she rushed me off the phone since she was out with friends and said it was rude to be on the phone (I noted the irony of that and asked her if she couldn't take a few minutes to talk and she said she'd learned her lesson about that). She called me back briefly that night, but again rushed me off the phone.
That was our "relationship" now at that point. Which I had already made a mental note as to simply call it quits had she not put more effort (any) into it by a month after she returned home. She knew that her prior actions had put a lot of strain on our relationship, and knew that it was dragging me down... so it's not like she was doing this with no knowledge of how it affected the relationship.
Then her last week there comes up, she calls me up to see if I can help her get a bus ticket home (valid reasons). I couldn't help her due to the circumstances she was in and when she wanted to leave, and so she said she'd call me back when she knew more of what she was doing... that was the last phonecall I'd ever gotten from her, indeed the last time we ever actually spoke.
Fast forward almost 2 weeks and I'd still heard nothing from her, Valentines day was tomorrow and I was checking for a message on myspace from an old college buddy of mine who had just added me.
What do I find? Again I see she had logged in and changed stuff around. I didn't automatically assume she was home, as they have pc's there at tech school, but I mosy over and look.
What I find is:
1) New pictures of her taken at her house, so I know she's home.
2) All pictures of me have now been removed.
3) Pictures of her with some other guy looking pretty "close".
I tried to call her up and she didn't answer her phone, so I left her a message and even sent her a message on myspace (which has been the only "reliable" way for me to reach her for months much to my dismay).
I never got a call back, but she responded to the myspace message about how I could drop her stuff off the following week since she'd be back down in tech school that week. Nothing else, just cold and unfeeling like I was a clerk at the local drug store or something.
I asked for an explanation about why she was blowing me off like this, and treating me so coldly, to which she answered she didn't know about anything anymore, but I shouldn't take it personal and that if I did, no amount of apologies would make a difference.
I sent her 2 messages in reply... the first was a bit angry, but only a bit, I just questioned how I was supposed to not take it personal when I put so much into the relationship and she brushed it off so easily, the second was simply a short one asking if she wanted to even try to work things out. The response to both was a non response. All she did was list herself as single on myspace, and remove all mention of me from it at all.
Valentines day, my gift was my phone bill, which showed that she ran up a $300 bill calling people almost every single day for the last month. Her excuse for not calling me, returning my calls, etc for that month was that she simply was too busy.
If her brushing me off was my last straw, this was the TNT that blew up the bridge the camel was standing on... I pretty much had an idea that she was lying, but that proved it painfully, so I had the phone deactivated, as I wasn't going to pay for her to lie to me anymore... I would have deactivated it anyways, but would have been nice enough to give her some time to make arrangements with it... but not when she so blatantly took advantage of it.
She has lots of her stuff at my apt, her PC, her laptop, lots of cloths, and other things. I let her know that I would not be bringing it back, that I'd wasted enough time and money on her already, so if she wanted it, she could come get it.
I called her step dad as well to pass that message on, just in case she just deleted my message, I wanted to make sure her stuff would be here.. no I didn't talk bad about her, no I didn't try and get him on "my side", but we always got along with each other.
The icing on the cake came later on however...
I recieved a "new blog" post on myspace a few days or a week, or whatever, later. I had removed her from my friends there, but it still subscribed to the blog (I've since remedied that), but the blog from her went into how she'd spent the last 2 months in a relationship with a man in tech school. She described how wonderfull he was, and how he'd made her remember she was alive after she felt dead inside. She posted this big long thing about how she would miss him so dearly as he would be stationed a world apart and how tragic it was they could not be together.
The parts of this that matter?
1) She conveniently manipulated the wording to make it seem like she broke up with me prior to them being involved.
2) She mentioned the person and VERY conveniently failed to mention how he was engaged and getting married the very next weekend.
I'd previously removed another friend of hers from my myspace list, adn sent her a message prior to removal just as a kindness, as she was a friend of my ex's as opposed to mine. But she came back and mentioned how she was sad but was worried it might happen due to her being flaky in times past (prior to me knowing her). We shared a few messages back and forth and that was the end of it.
Other people have asked (after my knowing she cheated) about what happened between us, and I flat out tell them she cheated. It isn't my job to put a warm and fuzzy spin on things to make her look good, so I won't hide the fact she cheated and screwed up the relationship. Some of these people are only my friends, others are mutual aquaitences... but that's not my problem... it's hers.
So, in the end I'm left footing the "emotional bill" as it were since she doesn't seem to care in the least.
I'll be tossing all her stuff in the trash before long as she hasn't come forward to claim it... or maybe I'll sell it on ebay or something... I don't really care.
I'd love to be vindictive as hell and just sink to her level and lash out, but I refuse to do it... even tho it seems like she is ignoring that she's done anything wrong and is looking only for people to say "poor me" in her "unfortunate" situation.
It still gets me how she is changing gears all the time about how she felt/feels. She was with me, then latched on to thsi guy at tech school, then our mutual friend, and now this other person (so who now is next?). And how she's conveniently "rewriting" history as it were to suit her needs and whim... Sure, I no longer am involved so it doesn't matter, but it still burns me up since she was a huge part of my life for the last few years... and it's pretty much all been made... irrelevant I guess is a good word.
Anywas. /rant over I guess.
Ok, let me get a few things out from the beginning. Not saying to ignore these points, just that I'm aware of them already.
Those are that:
Yes I let it go on too long, and I know not to try and take her back if she ever makes the attempt, etc.
With that.. this is of course about a girl.
I just need to get this off my chest so I can hopefully just bury it and move on sooner rather than later... as all who have been burned badly in a relationship know... it can be no small task to get over sometimes.
This girl and I had been friends and known each other for a few years now, we started getting a fair bit more comfortable with each other as time went on. We'd had other relationships previously but didn't at this time. So, with that... we decided to date each other. For a time things were great... we lived with each other for about 3 months, and she'd basically stayed with me the majority of time for awhile before that.
Now, after this point she was entering the US AF BMT, after which she would be in the AF reserves to serve her duty, go back to school and finish up her degree, and then she would look for a job using her skills.
I knew she was going to the AF reserves even when I first met her... there was a question about it at one point due to a possible medical issue but it was waivered and she was allowed to go.
Now, over the next few months she was in BMT... so little to no contact, it was expected even if unpleasant. Our last night together before she left was sad yet hopeful for all she would get out of the training and of the future she would have ahead of her. (Read: we were both teary eyed and didn't want to leave each others sight).
Now... during BMT I did not recieve any calls, but I heard that was far fomr uncommon, yet I did receive several letters. I in turn sent her one back every single day from the time I had her address. Of all her friends and even family, I was the only one to send that many, and only one of her other friends sent her a single letter.
I visited her for her BMT graduation, I was the only one there aside from her family, and the only one who stayed there with her the whole time, they left after the first day.
She was VERY different there, reserved, cold, tired looking, and almost unapproachable.
I was worried about it at first, as I've never been to one of these but later on I relaxed as she seemed to open up ever so slightly and explain all the restrictions and concerns she had, even at this point... So I let things slide even if I was worried some, but she reassured me.
What was worrying me was how radically she'd changed her view of what she wanted to do, and was seeimingly changing everything about what she was planning without so much as a word to me at all. Active duty being a big one, something we had discussed previously and she had flat out rejected.
As she was getting ready to leave for tech school she seemed to have eased up a lot more... and we talked on the phone for much of that night as she was packing, some of the trip down, and a good portion of the day she arrived. This week would be the last of the "good times" I had with her.
Over the next few months we went from talking daily, even if about nothing, to talking every few days, then to talking breifly every few days, to her rushing me off the phone more often than not, to talking every few days or so for a couple minutes on average.
She had increasingly mentioned the name of a fellow airman during this time, and the amount and manner of it caught my attention, yet she blew it off when I made mention of it at one time. So I let it go, as I had no way to even begin to know what she was doing down there.
Also around this time she began messing around with her myspace a lot (from the lab pc's there). I had rarely done much on the site, and almost never went there save to check messages, but one day I happened to see her profile pic had changed and I went in and found she had removed almost all the pictures of me that were there and had given her site a very dark layout, in addition she made a rather disturbing blog entry about how lost she felt at the moment, etc.
None of this was conveyed to me at all and when I asked her if she was ok... but she basically blew me off. As far as taking the pictures down she said she just didn't like them and only kept one of me there (she'd removed all of the ones of us together).
I'd commented on her blog and basically tried to cheer her up, but she deleted it... and when I asked about that she said she didn't like anyone commenting on her blogs (again... I simply let this slide as others had commented on blogs before and they were still there).
This was all before Christmas break, which was coming up pretty quickly for her.
I had planned out a trip that would bring her up here for the week she had off and we would see my family as well as hers. It was a fight to work out... she was seemingly uninterterested in coming up from tech school at first, then changed her mind and seemed to look forward to it.
When she came up she was VERY distant at first, and was constantly on her phone the first two nights with this person at school texting back and forth and talking on the phone occasionally.
Yeah, it annoyed me... and I wasn't exactly hopeful for the coming week. But then the second night she put the phone down and we had were almost like we were prior to her leaving, she ignored all of the messages he sent to her that night and he never tried to contact her again during the week and didn't respond to her when she tried to contact him either via e-mail, MSN, or on myspace.
She was notably irritated by his brushing her off (which I did not take as a good sign) and turned to a mutual friend of ours to vent. Previously we'd ALWAYS been able to talk, and yet after graduation, she refused to talk to me about anything in her life, her feelings, or even serious concerns save brief moments.
Over the next week she spent the majority of her time talking to this mutual friend. On the phone, via text messages on the phone, in an online game we all played together for a time, via MSN, etc (you get the point).
From the time she'd wake up till even after she'd gone to bed they would be exchanging messages in one way or another. We would go out to eat and she would have her phone there, tossing messages back and forth. We decide to watch a movie and she would stay on the PC talking to him. I'd go to bed and she'd be up for hours more talking to him, and would bring the phone TO BED and continue messaging.
Needless to say, I got irritated, I felt like I was babysitting more than seeing this person I cared for in a brief visit home.
To top it off, when I asked her to stop messaging during dinner, or get off the pc and watch a movie with me (or do anything so long as it was us spending time) she would act like I'd just asked her to spend her entire time with me. To recap, she would wake up between 11/12, and would go immediately to the phone/pc and start messaging away, this would last all day until she went to sleep, which was between 12-4am. The times I asked her to spend with me basically "carved" about 2 hours tops out of that.
To put things in further perspective, we shared a phone plan, was cheap and never been a problem... she sent/received roughly 1200 text messages on her phone that week... that's not including the time on her PC with MSN, etc.
At the end of the week we talked some... I confronted her about the previous guy down at tech school, and also about the mutual friend of ours. She denied anything had gone on with either of them, but did finally admit to things with the guy at tech school not being strictly platonic and that he had been making advances that she hadn't necissarily rebuffed completely, but that nothing had happened. I asked for her explanation in it all, since I felt I deserved the truth. She said she would once she had "figured a few things out for herself".
Again, I was not content with that answer, but I let it slide for the moment. At the end of the trip I was expecting to break up with her, I felt she was too cold and distant, and that she had simply decided that we would no longer be together anymore. However, at the end of the trip she opened up a fair bit, telling me to remember when she'd asked me to not let her go, to always be with her, etc. A really sweet and heartwarming memory for the last moments of her trip. During that weekend we talked a lot with one another... then that Monday she called me in the morning all chipper.. and that was the last pleasant call I'd ever gotten from her (right after New Years).
Over the next several weeks she called me.. I think 3 times... maybe. I managed to reach her one time on her birthday to wish her happy birthday, and she rushed me off the phone since she was out with friends and said it was rude to be on the phone (I noted the irony of that and asked her if she couldn't take a few minutes to talk and she said she'd learned her lesson about that). She called me back briefly that night, but again rushed me off the phone.
That was our "relationship" now at that point. Which I had already made a mental note as to simply call it quits had she not put more effort (any) into it by a month after she returned home. She knew that her prior actions had put a lot of strain on our relationship, and knew that it was dragging me down... so it's not like she was doing this with no knowledge of how it affected the relationship.
Then her last week there comes up, she calls me up to see if I can help her get a bus ticket home (valid reasons). I couldn't help her due to the circumstances she was in and when she wanted to leave, and so she said she'd call me back when she knew more of what she was doing... that was the last phonecall I'd ever gotten from her, indeed the last time we ever actually spoke.
Fast forward almost 2 weeks and I'd still heard nothing from her, Valentines day was tomorrow and I was checking for a message on myspace from an old college buddy of mine who had just added me.
What do I find? Again I see she had logged in and changed stuff around. I didn't automatically assume she was home, as they have pc's there at tech school, but I mosy over and look.
What I find is:
1) New pictures of her taken at her house, so I know she's home.
2) All pictures of me have now been removed.
3) Pictures of her with some other guy looking pretty "close".
I tried to call her up and she didn't answer her phone, so I left her a message and even sent her a message on myspace (which has been the only "reliable" way for me to reach her for months much to my dismay).
I never got a call back, but she responded to the myspace message about how I could drop her stuff off the following week since she'd be back down in tech school that week. Nothing else, just cold and unfeeling like I was a clerk at the local drug store or something.
I asked for an explanation about why she was blowing me off like this, and treating me so coldly, to which she answered she didn't know about anything anymore, but I shouldn't take it personal and that if I did, no amount of apologies would make a difference.
I sent her 2 messages in reply... the first was a bit angry, but only a bit, I just questioned how I was supposed to not take it personal when I put so much into the relationship and she brushed it off so easily, the second was simply a short one asking if she wanted to even try to work things out. The response to both was a non response. All she did was list herself as single on myspace, and remove all mention of me from it at all.
Valentines day, my gift was my phone bill, which showed that she ran up a $300 bill calling people almost every single day for the last month. Her excuse for not calling me, returning my calls, etc for that month was that she simply was too busy.
If her brushing me off was my last straw, this was the TNT that blew up the bridge the camel was standing on... I pretty much had an idea that she was lying, but that proved it painfully, so I had the phone deactivated, as I wasn't going to pay for her to lie to me anymore... I would have deactivated it anyways, but would have been nice enough to give her some time to make arrangements with it... but not when she so blatantly took advantage of it.
She has lots of her stuff at my apt, her PC, her laptop, lots of cloths, and other things. I let her know that I would not be bringing it back, that I'd wasted enough time and money on her already, so if she wanted it, she could come get it.
I called her step dad as well to pass that message on, just in case she just deleted my message, I wanted to make sure her stuff would be here.. no I didn't talk bad about her, no I didn't try and get him on "my side", but we always got along with each other.
The icing on the cake came later on however...
I recieved a "new blog" post on myspace a few days or a week, or whatever, later. I had removed her from my friends there, but it still subscribed to the blog (I've since remedied that), but the blog from her went into how she'd spent the last 2 months in a relationship with a man in tech school. She described how wonderfull he was, and how he'd made her remember she was alive after she felt dead inside. She posted this big long thing about how she would miss him so dearly as he would be stationed a world apart and how tragic it was they could not be together.
The parts of this that matter?
1) She conveniently manipulated the wording to make it seem like she broke up with me prior to them being involved.
2) She mentioned the person and VERY conveniently failed to mention how he was engaged and getting married the very next weekend.
I'd previously removed another friend of hers from my myspace list, adn sent her a message prior to removal just as a kindness, as she was a friend of my ex's as opposed to mine. But she came back and mentioned how she was sad but was worried it might happen due to her being flaky in times past (prior to me knowing her). We shared a few messages back and forth and that was the end of it.
Other people have asked (after my knowing she cheated) about what happened between us, and I flat out tell them she cheated. It isn't my job to put a warm and fuzzy spin on things to make her look good, so I won't hide the fact she cheated and screwed up the relationship. Some of these people are only my friends, others are mutual aquaitences... but that's not my problem... it's hers.
So, in the end I'm left footing the "emotional bill" as it were since she doesn't seem to care in the least.
I'll be tossing all her stuff in the trash before long as she hasn't come forward to claim it... or maybe I'll sell it on ebay or something... I don't really care.
I'd love to be vindictive as hell and just sink to her level and lash out, but I refuse to do it... even tho it seems like she is ignoring that she's done anything wrong and is looking only for people to say "poor me" in her "unfortunate" situation.
It still gets me how she is changing gears all the time about how she felt/feels. She was with me, then latched on to thsi guy at tech school, then our mutual friend, and now this other person (so who now is next?). And how she's conveniently "rewriting" history as it were to suit her needs and whim... Sure, I no longer am involved so it doesn't matter, but it still burns me up since she was a huge part of my life for the last few years... and it's pretty much all been made... irrelevant I guess is a good word.
Anywas. /rant over I guess.
EclecticGroove on
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it sucks but the problem is that one person inevitably gets more power, in my first relationship i was the one hopelessly in love, not to say my gf at the time wasn't but it lead to all kinds of stupid situations where when i felt her changing or moving away at all i would get super defensive or clingy. after being in an opposite type of relationship it really opened my eyes to how you need emotional equality when dating someone. not to mention mutual independence to a degree (no phone calls every day etc) if you're going to make it healthy
that being said you've got to just cut your losses which it looks like you have done anyhow so really there's not alot of help i can give you, it seems to have run its shitty course and you're dealing with it fine.. not too spiteful but not like 'oh man i would take her back in a second' so thats good.
Towards the later half of course the picture was entirely different, and I recognised it then and still do now. She no longer cared to be in the relationship but didn't want to end it (either too afraid or felt she could still get use of it, or even just wasn't sure if she wanted out).
I wouldn't say I'm "fine" as I don't think anyone is ever fine after this kind of thing.. even if it ultimately is for the best (which this was as she was obviously no longer an equal partner, let alone being the same person I knew).
Oh well, wasn't looking for advice so much, just wanted it off my chest... every little bit helps sometimes... granted, if anyone has any advice, they can feel free to give it.
As for her things still at your place. I would check with the local laws before doing anything. I think you have to tell the person they need to come claim them and give them a certain amount of time to do it. I know you already did this and i bet the amount of time has already come and gone but i would check with the police before you toss her shit and have her try to sue you.
Her stuff has been here almost a year now, the "short term" items for 5 months.
I already told her flat out she can pick them up when she wants, I have already sent that to her in writing, and notified her Stepfather to make sure she got the message. He also happens to be a retired state trooper and understood completely... so if she wanted to take action agaisnt me, she wouldn't have a leg to stand on. It's already been a month since I let her know, and intend on waiting till the end of this month just in case, but she hasn't so much as lifted a finger to try and come down and get it.
Well it sounds like you've got your ass covered then. Again, sorry to hear you had to go through this shit. Hope things get better for ya.