proper sneezing techniques & coughing etiquette

Local H Jay

a coworker of mine is a nasty person. he does not cover his mouth when coughing or sneezing. the other day, he sneezed on my god damn face. i flipped out on him, the conversation went like this:

gross man : *SNEEZE*
me: oh WHAT THE FUCK
gross man: *blank stare*
me: that's fucking disgusting dude, cover your damn mouth
gross man: *turns around*
me: you're not gonna say ANYTHING? you're not gonna apologize!?
gross man: *quietly* sorry...

needless to say, i was livid. everyone else seemed to find it funny.

what do you guys do when it comes time to expel mucus from your face? do you cover with your hands, or cough into the inside of your elbow? or do you go for the classy 'lift shirt up over mouth and cover yourself in boogers' technique. or are you a fearless sneezer, letting your wanton sneezes fly freely?

does anyone use handkerchiefs anymore?

crwth

i make sure to find a nice open mouth to cough or sneeze into

Belruel

Inside of my elbow for sure.

Arang

inside of the elbow, loudly

people gotta know

Local H Jay

i too sneeze loudly

i can't not

PiptheFair

take a shit loudly when you do either

Arang

oh, and whenever I sneeze I sneeze twice

like 1% of the time it's three times, but never once or more than thrice

Butler

I hate it when I hold in a sneeze and one of my shoes flies off.

That Dave Fella

inside the elbow? I cover my mouth with my hand.

Big Red Tie

i would elbow that dude in the groin for sure

that is all kinds of fucked up

Local H Jay

That Dave Fella wrote: »

inside the elbow? I cover my mouth with my hand.

the idea is if you sneeze there you don't have to wash your hands

Duke 2.0

Every time I worked in food prep employers don't give a shit about sneezes. Straight onto the food no problem man what's the harm?

I never bought food from the places I worked at.

Jasconius

gross man sounds like he has a handicap in his brain area

Local H Jay

Jasconius wrote: »

gross man sounds like he has a handicap in his brain area

he's just the grossest dude i've ever met

the only guy i've seen who has no qualms picking his nose... in front of everybody

PiptheFair

That Dave Fella wrote: »

inside the elbow? I cover my mouth with my hand.

food service is taught to do this

most don't give a shit though

FAQ

he sneezes on your face you sneeze on his fucking ass

FAQ

that's all this creep understands

Meiz

pee in his nostril

Big Red Tie

or for an actually plausible scenario

sneeze on him while he's peeing

and then look him in the eye

Local H Jay

FAQ wrote: »

he sneezes on your face you sneeze on his fucking ass

this dude's ass is probably like some kinda horrible dystopian landscape where no water or paper has been in many years

my face ain't going near there

FAQ

a sneeze will travel the length of a london bus

Local H Jay

r-really

fuck

Arang

a sneeze can reach speeds as high as 90 mph

a sneeze can carry up to 200 times its own weight

a sneeze can do everything fred astaire did ... in high heels

Arang

fuuuuuck you draft

143999

I've always wondered if a person who sneezes on someone knowingly having a communicable disease who makes no effort to cover their mouth could be brought up on something like reckless endangerment or assault.

Kadith

i sneeze on your mom's face

Mr Fuzzbutt

If you stick your tongue out loosely when you sneeze, it makes a hilarious fart noise.

Local H Jay

143999 wrote: »

I've always wondered if a person who sneezes on someone knowingly having a communicable disease who makes no effort to cover their mouth could be brought up on something like reckless endangerment or assault.

well you can be sued for giving people HIV knowingly, so maybe?

FAQ

Longest sneezing fit The longest recorded sneezing fit is that of Donna Griffiths (UK). She began sneezing on January 13, 1981 and sneezed an estimated one million times in the first 365 days. Her first sneeze-free day came 978 days later on September 16, 1983.

Fastest sneeze The highest speed at which expelled particles from a sneeze have been measured to travel is 103.6 mph (167 km/h).

Arang

143999 wrote: »

I've always wondered if a person who sneezes on someone knowingly having a communicable disease who makes no effort to cover their mouth could be brought up on something like reckless endangerment or assault.

it's very likely assault just like having unprotected sex with someone when you have HIV is

deliberately sneezing on someone ought to be a battery charge anyway, I think

crwth

i want to cover the world in my boogers

SCREECH OF THE FARG

ahchoo

Druhim

FAQ wrote: »

Longest sneezing fit The longest recorded sneezing fit is that of Donna Griffiths (UK). She began sneezing on January 13, 1981 and sneezed an estimated one million times in the first 365 days. Her first sneeze-free day came 978 days later on September 16, 1983.

Fastest sneeze The highest speed at which expelled particles from a sneeze have been measured to travel is 103.6 mph (167 km/h).

Well shit, if we're going by sneeze free days, I've got that beat. I don't think I've had a sneeze free day since my teens. I sneeze at least a couple of times a day, and when I sneeze it's almost always at least 3 or 4 times.

Local H Jay

my lil bro used to have a wall where he would stick his boogers, that wall looked mighty fucked up by the time we moved out

FAQ

I sneeze every day too

FAQ

crwth wrote: »

i want to cover the world in my boogers

this is grotesque!!

Mysst

I sneeze like a goddamn cannon. it is something I am both proud of and annoyed by

Whyther

I work in food service so I always make sure to sneeze into my elbow because sneezing on food would be fucking disgusting.

MulysaSempronius

I usually sneeze onto my shoulder. I tend to sneeze multiple times, and usually apologize to the poor sap who says "bless you" after the first one, and then stands around awkwardly through the rest.

crwth

FAQ wrote: »

crwth wrote: »

i want to cover the world in my boogers

this is grotesque!!

i want my mucus on every doorknob you hear me

Local H Jay

Whyther wrote: »

I work in food service so I always make sure to sneeze into my elbow because sneezing on food would be fucking disgusting.

same here, which is why i'm amazed this dude hasn't been fired yet

i've seen him sneeze right over food, which i then promptly through away because he's retarded