Neighbors!
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My family has owned this home for over 30 years. Last month, some people moved into the vacant piece of shit behind us. They have been absolutely wonderful neighbors.
From morning to night, one of the boys has spent most of the time listening to some sort of rap music: the kind where I can only hear the base and none of the lyrics.
Recently, they have become attracted to making bonfires. Currently, I have smoke seeping into my room. I love the smell (and taste) of bonfire smoke in the evening.
This is the Neighbors! thread. Post stories of wonderful neighbors that you have had.
From morning to night, one of the boys has spent most of the time listening to some sort of rap music: the kind where I can only hear the base and none of the lyrics.
Recently, they have become attracted to making bonfires. Currently, I have smoke seeping into my room. I love the smell (and taste) of bonfire smoke in the evening.
This is the Neighbors! thread. Post stories of wonderful neighbors that you have had.
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Quick! Leave a passive aggressive note on the internet!
Oh
Oh.
With a little understanding you can find the perfect blend.
One time we came home about the same time they were and the mom was suuuuper drunk and trying to convince us to come to some kind of real estate seminar.
Now it's just some nerd guy and maybe a couple other people; barely ever see'em, but someone's taking out their trash and there's been no middle of the night screaming so they're cool in my book.
Because that is a movie right there, it is.
when she moved in the people helping her move got a couch wedged in one of the two stairwells, where it remained for a month and a half before someone finally got it unstuck
(the drywall has not yet been repaired)
also she had cats, and the cats were in the apartment
but she was not in the apartment, because she wasn't living there
evidently the cats ran out of food and escaped out one of the windows and were never seen again
yet she still opens her window and calls their names every time she gets home as if they were still hanging around on the fire escape after four months
She could die at any time and no one would notice for days. It's possible that as we speak I'm only a wall away from a corpse.
well they're already trying to smoke him out
(I have been catching up on Breaking Bad this weekend and I'm now into Season 3
Just so you know, bass frequencies have much longer wavelengths and will almost always travel further than other audible range frequencies. The genre doesn't matter.
Predictable.
Gimme a hug, Dru.
Satans..... hints.....
it's not so bad
Anyway, his sons. Supposedly, one was let out of jail and the other one mysteriously appeared, as well. It was interesting for a while: loud late night arguments, odd vehicles visiting the home...at all hours. I'm fairly certain they were dealing out of the house, because deputies were often seen parked at the house.
Finally, I came home one day to about 5 cop cars parked on our street. Apparently, there was a shooting, but nobody was hurt. I guess the son wasn't home.
It has been quiet over there for the last 1-2 years, mainly due to the fact that one son died in a car accident and the other is back in jail (I think).
Wonderful neighbors.
Oh, and there was a dying tree in his yard that dropped about a third of itself on our fence. Would've crushed my car if I'd been home. He'd also lob insults at my mother whenever she was doing anything in the yard close to his property, and would try to goad our dogs into assaulting him (this is heresay from our good neighbors at the time, but they swear up and down that this asshole poisoned one of their dogs with antifreeze). As long as those dogs lived they did not like men in dark blue coveralls, which was also the uniform of the gas company. The guy who rents mom's house now says that he still does the blower thing, even though all the eucalyptus trees have been taken down.
This looks like the worst thing ever. How does that get on tv?
he's this stocky russian guy named alex
we thought he was a gangster because he had a new car every week
turned out he was a mechanic
one time I asked him to do some work on my car
so I took it to his shop, which is located behind a strip club
walked in the door, Alex and three of the burliest goons I've ever seen are sitting around a card table
counting sky high stacks of cash money
all of them look at me for like three seconds
it occurs to me that I'm closer to death right now in this moment than at any point during my six months in Iraq
and then all four of them start laughing harder than I've ever seen anyone laugh
Alex rattles off a bunch of Russian, to his friends, then says to me, "Your dad told me you thought I was a mobster!"
"It...seemed plausible."
which would be fantastic news if I smoked
alas!
In town my neighbours are great. Everyone is pretty community minded and we all get along fine. If someone is mowing their front lawn, it's not uncommon to mow your neighbour's lawn too. We have a bunch of young kids on the street and they play up and down the street and everyone keeps an eye out for them, it's great. A couple of young guys up the road built a jungle gym thinger on their front lawn so the kids could go down and play on it
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Another cool set of neighbours took his place before moving interstate because of a job offer.
The family who replaced them ripped out all the original oak paneling from inside, it was sitting cracked on the nature strip. It was very disheartening.
Then they moved away after another year and I don't really know the current set of neighbours.
a few months back, I was sitting in my room one afternoon, playing mass effect 3 online with some scottish fellows
and out of nowhere I heard my landlady screaming my name up the stairs
apparently one of her adult kids was dying!
she wanted to know if I knew CPR
I do not know CPR
but I told her I'd do what I could
so I put on pants and went downstairs
and sure enough the dude was on the floor, not breathing
apparently his older brother was on the phone with the people you call in such a case, and they told him to do chest compressions if dying guy's heart stopped
and the dude looked less than excited about the prospect of having to restart his brother's heart
then I remembered one of the more obscure facts I picked up
"Listen," I said to him. "There's a certain rhythm to the compressions. That rhythm is exactly the same as the song Stayin' Alive by the Beegees."
he looked at me like I was crazy
"Well, Another One Bites the Dust will also work, but that seemed thematically inappropriate."
then the paramedics got there and all was well, more or less
But we don't have A/C so I had my sliding door open one night last year when I hear one of the next door neighbors slam a door and yell "GODDAMMIT" at the top of his lungs. That was weird. But that's about it.
Now I'm pretty familiar with my neighbors. I can never remember most of their names, but I know their dogs!
The worst part about that is that there are heaps of other houses in the area like that for sale all the time which would've cost them less to purchase.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
They were kicked out, the house demolished then replaced with units which would become equal parts council housing for junkies and/or really cool old people.
PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!