[Cards Against Humanity] Apples to Apples for awful people (Ye olde bustedness)

blahmcblah

At least one of these is close to true, one I wish were true, and that testicular torsion thing is painful just to look at. So I think I'll have to go with the awesome and choose Loki.

Man in the Mists

Check it out, Tapeslinger. It's your turn for a twofer!

Round 17: Susan is judging

The class field trip was completely ruined by ______.

Everyone PM me your answers while Susan listens to the crying of broken children.

Man in the Mists

Waiting for @tapeslinger to send an answer. Hopefully before the debate thread finishes strapping on its rocketskates.

tapeslinger

oh whoa hey I am back now sorry

I was busy drinking now instead of during the debates

Man in the Mists

Fortunately, we seem to have some time before they start.

The class field trip was completely ruined by Kanye West. (Kilnaga)
The class field trip was completely ruined by weapons-grade plutonium. (Shalmelo)
The class field trip was completely ruined by not wearing pants. (Lonelyahava)
The class field trip was completely ruined by a soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River". (Tapeslinger)
The class field trip was completely ruined by Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. (jdarksun) (*)
The class field trip was completely ruined by a mopey zoo lion. (Blahmcblah)

@susan, what helped you stock up on delicious children's tears?

susan

There is no event in my life that the Queen could not ruin. Oh yes, I remember, LIZ. Ruining a children's field trip would be right up her alley.

Man in the Mists

And jdarksun harvests a point from susan's childhood trauma!

Round 18: jdarksun is judging

TSA guidelines now prohibit ______ on airplanes.

Everyone please PM me your answers while jdarksun goes through the naked radiation scanner.

tapeslinger

godsdamnit I need to stop getting the best card ever on the turn after it would have been amazing

/typical thing that happens during this game is typical

Man in the Mists

If there is one flaw to this game, that would be it.

jdarksun

Naked radiation is the best kind of radiation.

Man in the Mists

mrrrrgh

TSA guidelines now prohibit Jerking off into a pool of children's tears on airplanes. (Blahmcblah)
TSA guidelines now prohibit getting naked and watching Nickelodeon on airplanes. (susan)
TSA guidelines now prohibit estrogen on airplanes. (Tapeslinger)
TSA guidelines now prohibit a balanced breakfast on airplanes. (Shalmelo) (*)
TSA guidelines now prohibit existing on airplanes. (Lonelyahava)
TSA guidelines now prohibit Sean Connery on airplanes. (Kilnaga)

@jdarksun, what will get you put in line for Agent Brownhand?

jdarksun

...OK, getting naked and watching Nickelodeon? Funny. But I'm going to have to go with a balanced breakfast because of the rock-fucking-hard and molten-fucking-hot inedible "sausage biscuit with egg" I was served on my flights to and from Seattle. Because what the fuck was that? I paid $8 for something McDonald's would be embarrassed by? Fuck you.

susan

*sigh* Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...

Man in the Mists

And Shalmelo is the first to hit the 5 point mark!

Round 19: Tapeslinger is judging.

The Five Stages of Grief: denail, anger, bargaining, ______, acceptance.

Please PM me your answers everyone.

Man in the Mists

All that's left is @lonelyahava 's answer.

ahava

sorry!

sorry!

my illness finally got the better of me and I slept for a few hours.

Man in the Mists

That's okay. I though you would be on.

The Five Stages of Grief: denail, anger, bargaining, another shot of morphine, acceptance. (Shalmelo)
The Five Stages of Grief: denail, anger, bargaining, crystal meth, acceptance. (Lonelyahava)
The Five Stages of Grief: denail, anger, bargaining, poopy diapers, acceptance. (Kilnaga)
The Five Stages of Grief: denail, anger, bargaining, getting really high, acceptance. (jdarksun)
The Five Stages of Grief: denail, anger, bargaining, tripping balls, acceptance. (Blahmcblah) (*)
The Five Stages of Grief: denail, anger, bargaining, concealing a boner, acceptance. (susan)

@tapeslinger, how do you cope?

Kilnaga

Well, tapeslinger, it seems like it comes down to "what is your drug of choice."

shalmelo

Heh. People very much on the same page this round...

ahava

its the only card that made sense!

tapeslinger

sweet jesus

well, after I send you all my massive therapy bill

I laughed the most at "tripping balls"

but all of these were traumatizing, thanks

blahmcblah

Cool, a second point at last.

Man in the Mists

And Blahmcblah has achieved acceptance...of a second point.

Round 20: Shalmelo is judging

It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with ______.

Please PM me your answers while Shalmelo tries to get the kids off his lawn.

tapeslinger

godsdamnit I already used same-sex ice dancing

Man in the Mists

Once I get an answer from @blahmcblah we'll find out what those kids are up to.

Man in the Mists

Those little whippersnappers!

It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with the Big Bang. (Lonelyahava)
It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with the mixing of the races. (jdarksun)
It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with gladiatorial combat.(Kilnaga)
It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with another goddamn vampire movie. (Tapeslinger) (*)
It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with ethnic cleansing. (Blahmcblah)
It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with picking up girls at the abortion clinic . (susan)

@shalmelo, what did you catch them doing?

blahmcblah

Wow, mostly awesome submissions, all.

shalmelo

I'm in full support of kids being involved with four of those.

But even I have to draw the line at another goddamn vampire movie.

Man in the Mists

Tapeslinger wins the right to shoot Stephanie Meyer into the sun!

Round 21: Lonelyahava is judging

Dear Sir or Madam,
We regret to inform you that the Office of ______ has denied your request for ______.

Everyone PM me your answer while Lonelyahava makes sure this wasn't sent from Nigeria.

blahmcblah

Oh, what I wouldn't do to have ethnic cleansing back right about now...

Kilnaga

God dammit. Why do the one's she has to judge never work with the card I want to play for her.

ahava

wow.

that gave me some serious flashbacks to all the rejection letters for jobs lately.

susan

And this question eats the last of my original hand cards.

How many points are we playing to?

Man in the Mists

I was thinking 10 points unless you guys want to go higher.

susan

*nods* That seems reasonable. If we wanted to keep playing, we could always get a new game going.

Kilnaga

susan wrote: »

*nods* That seems reasonable. If we wanted to keep playing, we could always get a new game going.

If we do a new game we can add the 1-2 ppl in reserve and drop the points to win down too?

schuss

I'm also willing to jump in midstream. Don't care about about winning as much as the enjoyment of offensive humor.

Man in the Mists

Sorry this is so late, everyone. I had errands that needed to be run.

Dear Sir or Madam,

We regret to inform you that the Office of The Underground Railroad has denied your request for an M-16 assault rifle. (jdarksun)
We regret to inform you that the Office of Robert Downey Jr. has denied your request for whipping it out. (Tapeslinger)
We regret to inform you that the Office of Assholes has denied your request for chainsaws for hands. (Blahmcblah)
We regret to inform you that the Office of Being a busy adult with many important things to do has denied your request for drinking alone. (susan)
We regret to inform you that the Office of Third Base has denied your request for free samples. (Shalmelo) (*)
We regret to inform you that the Office of Queefing has denied your request for take-backsies. (Kilnaga)

@Lonelyahava, which rejection cuts deepest?

ahava

Third Base, dude.

seriously.

you tease!

Man in the Mists

And Shalmelo wins a shot at home plate!

Round 22: Kilnaga is judging

______. High five, bro.

Everyone please PM me your answer while Kilnaga leaves then hanging.