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[PA Comic] Friday, October 5, 2012 - The One-Oh-Furst, Part One

GethGeth LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
edited October 2012 in The Penny Arcade Hub
«13

Posts

  • Groosenat0rGroosenat0r http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy70Z6x00TM SkyloftRegistered User regular
    Fact: Did you know hobos find Raccoons sexually appealing?
    215542096_4A7fb-L-2.jpg

  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Cybertronian Paranormal Eliminator Registered User regular
    Yeah, I'm going to need a newspost for this one.

  • RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Zombie Wereraccoon apocalypse against the Nazis?

  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    ...the part one in the title is what's really throwing me

  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    Incoming social justice Tumblr in three... two...

  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    I suspect it will all become clear in Part Two. Have patience.

    MhCw7nZ.gif
  • The_SpaniardThe_Spaniard It's never lupines Irvine, CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    Uh-oh, I have a feeling where this is going...

    Playstation/Origin/GoG: Span_Wolf Xbox/uPlay/Bnet: SpanWolf Nintendo: Span_Wolf SW-7097-4917-9392 Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Span_Wolf/
  • open_sketchbookopen_sketchbook Registered User regular
    This reads exactly like an old Bill Mauldin "Up Front" comic.

  • Lord_AsmodeusLord_Asmodeus goeticSobriquet: Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered User regular
    Ah the dreaded return

    of continuity

    Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if Labor had not first existed. Labor is superior to capital, and deserves much the higher consideration. - Lincoln
  • piLpiL Registered User regular
    If this is going to be about what I think it's going to be about, awesome.

  • Chris FOMChris FOM Registered User regular
    It's Frank's origin story! And he does look kind of like a raccoon...

  • ZenitramZenitram Registered User regular
    Oh shit, it's Frank....

  • mare_imbriummare_imbrium Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    1944 was 68 years ago. How could it be that Frank? And I always had the impression he was a Vietnam War vet.

    215523768_bABrE-L-2.jpg

    mare_imbrium on
    v2zAToe.jpg
    Wii: 4521 1146 5179 1333 Pearl: 3394 4642 8367 HG: 1849 3913 3132
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    Frank Snr. perhaps?

  • Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme BAH! He was a rank amateur compared to, DR. COLOSSUS!Registered User regular
    That's what I was thinking.

    Or maybe Frank is Captain American?

  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    This is Penny Arcade's "look at WWII’s first Otherkin" so I guess it's like this Fable comic.

  • AurichAurich ArizonaRegistered User regular
    I thought it was the charmingly simple gag that their overly-shadowed eyes are raccoon-like.

    Well.. whatever it actually is will probably be more actually funny than "lolwut."

  • MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    Wherever this is going I'm going too.

    14271f3c-c765-4e74-92b1-49d7612675f2.jpg
  • FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    Oh man, I almost don't want anything more for this. No newspost, no Part 2. I just want this timeless jewel to live on, untouched by anything else in the world.

    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
  • teknoarcanistteknoarcanist Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Yknow I love the blog posts, but sometimes they get so wrapped up in their own double-speak I have no idea what the fuck they're even trying to express.

    Or, to put my post in Jerry's own cadence:

    "As most of you (indeed a great many, if not all) I have an abiding love--can I say obsession? I'm going to say obsession--for the posts which purport to cover "news" on the Penny Arcade frontpage, at least insofar as a webcomic which peddles the veritable jay-peg as its selfsame commodity, can purport to cover ~The News~. Still, though, at times I find Jerry's language to be impenetrable. I mean, this shit is THICK, yo. This is like trying to wade through butterscotch cream, and then reaching the bottom and finding out it's not butterscotch cream, but is in fact your mortal soul. At times, when I find myself at the deepest depths (or deepths, as I like to call them) of these existential butterscotch trenches, these candy-coated pits of incarnate human pathos, I realize I have very little, if indeed any at all, fucking idea what Mister-Holkins-If-You-Please is actually trying to say. Worse still, I have run out of fucks to give. My store of fucks has been depleted. If fucks were a market product, my storehouse in Beijing was just raided by roving bands of ex-Yakuza wielding nunchaku.

    Nunchaku.
    "

    Then you go back and pepper that with links to 90's rap videos on Youtube and Wikipedia articles about South American meteorological phenomena, or something equally bewildering and esoteric.

    teknoarcanist on
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    That is uncanny.

  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    The comic is fine. I like the comic.

    I read today's newspost, and I don't quite get it. A 4th panel video of this might be required to make the newspost understandable. Somehow we go from discussing potential sexual orientation to his son being an actual llama, and not as a metaphor. With what we were given, I don't understand this train of thought. I also don't understand how llama-sons translate into WW2 raccoon people.

  • Monkey Ball WarriorMonkey Ball Warrior A collection of mediocre hats Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Every time Tycho makes me google something like "define:evanesce" I feel like he's done me a favor.

    "I resent the entire notion of a body as an ante and then raise you a generalized dissatisfaction with physicality itself" -- Tycho
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    Yknow I love the blog posts, but sometimes they get so wrapped up in their own double-speak I have no idea what the fuck they're even trying to express.

    Or, to put my post in Jerry's own cadence:

    "As most of you (indeed a great many, if not all) I have an abiding love--can I say obsession? I'm going to say obsession--for the posts which purport to cover "news" on the Penny Arcade frontpage, at least insofar as a webcomic which peddles the veritable jay-peg as its selfsame commodity, can purport to cover ~The News~. Still, though, at times I find Jerry's language to be impenetrable. I mean, this shit is THICK, yo. This is like trying to wade through butterscotch cream, and then reaching the bottom and finding out it's not butterscotch cream, but is in fact your mortal soul. At times, when I find myself at the deepest depths (or deepths, as I like to call them) of these existential butterscotch trenches, these candy-coated pits of incarnate human pathos, I realize I have very little, if indeed any at all, fucking idea what Mister-Holkins-If-You-Please is actually trying to say. Worse still, I have run out of fucks to give. My store of fucks has been depleted. If fucks were a market product, my storehouse in Beijing was just raided by roving bands of ex-Yakuza wielding nunchaku.

    Nunchaku.
    "

    Then you go back and pepper that with links to 90's rap videos on Youtube and Wikipedia articles about South American meteorological phenomena, or something equally bewildering and esoteric.

    I have bad news for you. You're not nearly good enough at writing to craft a decent parody of Jerry's style, never mind mounting that little horsie and attempting to mock him from it.

    Also if you genuinely couldn't understand today's blog, you might want to seek medical attention as you possibly have some hemorrhaging of the brain going on.

  • shorttiminshorttimin regular Registered User regular
    Falx wrote: »
    Yknow I love the blog posts, but sometimes they get so wrapped up in their own double-speak I have no idea what the fuck they're even trying to express.

    Or, to put my post in Jerry's own cadence:

    "As most of you (indeed a great many, if not all) I have an abiding love--can I say obsession? I'm going to say obsession--for the posts which purport to cover "news" on the Penny Arcade frontpage, at least insofar as a webcomic which peddles the veritable jay-peg as its selfsame commodity, can purport to cover ~The News~. Still, though, at times I find Jerry's language to be impenetrable. I mean, this shit is THICK, yo. This is like trying to wade through butterscotch cream, and then reaching the bottom and finding out it's not butterscotch cream, but is in fact your mortal soul. At times, when I find myself at the deepest depths (or deepths, as I like to call them) of these existential butterscotch trenches, these candy-coated pits of incarnate human pathos, I realize I have very little, if indeed any at all, fucking idea what Mister-Holkins-If-You-Please is actually trying to say. Worse still, I have run out of fucks to give. My store of fucks has been depleted. If fucks were a market product, my storehouse in Beijing was just raided by roving bands of ex-Yakuza wielding nunchaku.

    Nunchaku.
    "

    Then you go back and pepper that with links to 90's rap videos on Youtube and Wikipedia articles about South American meteorological phenomena, or something equally bewildering and esoteric.

    I have bad news for you. You're not nearly good enough at writing to craft a decent parody of Jerry's style, never mind mounting that little horsie and attempting to mock him from it.

    Also if you genuinely couldn't understand today's blog, you might want to seek medical attention as you possibly have some hemorrhaging of the brain going on.

    Damn dude. Chill.

  • teknoarcanistteknoarcanist Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Wooaaaah! Down, Cujo. I wasn't mocking him. Call it affectionate aping. I love the blog posts, I read them every day.

    All I'm saying is, sometimes he seems to get so wrapped up in his own train of thought that he loses the thread of a specific idea.

    Please put down your pitchfork and step away slowly.

    teknoarcanist on
  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Lucascraft wrote: »
    The comic is fine. I like the comic.

    I read today's newspost, and I don't quite get it. A 4th panel video of this might be required to make the newspost understandable. Somehow we go from discussing potential sexual orientation to his son being an actual llama, and not as a metaphor. With what we were given, I don't understand this train of thought. I also don't understand how llama-sons translate into WW2 raccoon people.

    He's saying the sudden explosion of sexual and gender alignment definitions is silly, what with it all being gradients anyway. The guy in the strip is a raccoon, born in a man's body.

    Ed; I may be colouring that with my own opinion though! :P

    Dark Raven X on
    Oh brilliant
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    Falx wrote: »
    Yknow I love the blog posts, but sometimes they get so wrapped up in their own double-speak I have no idea what the fuck they're even trying to express.

    Or, to put my post in Jerry's own cadence:

    "As most of you (indeed a great many, if not all) I have an abiding love--can I say obsession? I'm going to say obsession--for the posts which purport to cover "news" on the Penny Arcade frontpage, at least insofar as a webcomic which peddles the veritable jay-peg as its selfsame commodity, can purport to cover ~The News~. Still, though, at times I find Jerry's language to be impenetrable. I mean, this shit is THICK, yo. This is like trying to wade through butterscotch cream, and then reaching the bottom and finding out it's not butterscotch cream, but is in fact your mortal soul. At times, when I find myself at the deepest depths (or deepths, as I like to call them) of these existential butterscotch trenches, these candy-coated pits of incarnate human pathos, I realize I have very little, if indeed any at all, fucking idea what Mister-Holkins-If-You-Please is actually trying to say. Worse still, I have run out of fucks to give. My store of fucks has been depleted. If fucks were a market product, my storehouse in Beijing was just raided by roving bands of ex-Yakuza wielding nunchaku.

    Nunchaku.
    "

    Then you go back and pepper that with links to 90's rap videos on Youtube and Wikipedia articles about South American meteorological phenomena, or something equally bewildering and esoteric.

    I have bad news for you. You're not nearly good enough at writing to craft a decent parody of Jerry's style, never mind mounting that little horsie and attempting to mock him from it.

    Also if you genuinely couldn't understand today's blog, you might want to seek medical attention as you possibly have some hemorrhaging of the brain going on.

    Any hemorrhaging in his brain is nothing compared to the giant hemmorrhoid you apparently have up your ass.

  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    Wooaaaah! Down, Cujo. I wasn't mocking him. Call it affectionate aping. I love the blog posts, I read them every day.

    All I'm saying is, sometimes he seems to get so wrapped up in his own train of thought that he loses the thread of a specific idea.

    Please put down your pitchfork and step away slowly.

    Oh so now you want to take my weapons from me too, commie!?
    <3

  • Captain MarcusCaptain Marcus now arrives the hour of actionRegistered User regular
    Really? I thought he said being homosexual was fine, but being an otherkin was stupid since it's not an actual thing.

  • teknoarcanistteknoarcanist Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Falx wrote: »
    Wooaaaah! Down, Cujo. I wasn't mocking him. Call it affectionate aping. I love the blog posts, I read them every day.

    All I'm saying is, sometimes he seems to get so wrapped up in his own train of thought that he loses the thread of a specific idea.

    Please put down your pitchfork and step away slowly.

    Oh so now you want to take my weapons from me too, commie!?
    <3

    It's cool lol

    teknoarcanist on
  • Alpha268Alpha268 Registered User regular
    Falx wrote: »
    Also if you genuinely couldn't understand today's blog, you might want to seek medical attention as you possibly have some hemorrhaging of the brain going on.


    And with that, the fat virgin pressed "Post Reply", smirking smugly in his greasy neckbeard.


  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    It's not grease it's the finest of imported oils.

  • FandeathisFandeathis Registered User regular
    Really? I thought he said being homosexual was fine, but being an otherkin was stupid since it's not an actual thing.

    I'm pretty sure this is what he is saying, though it is a little unclear to be honest.

    You fuck wit' Die Antwoord, you fuck wit' da army.
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    Falx wrote: »
    It's not grease it's the finest of imported oils.

    Does it smell of cinamon and cardamom?

  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Cybertronian Paranormal Eliminator Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Soooo... the comic is using furries as a metaphor for homosexuals, specifically in the context of gays in the military. Huh.. I guess I was overthinking it. Ihonestly didn't think it'd be that straightfoward. Even with the juxtaposition of a reletively modern thing like furries in a WW2 setting, I'm kinda dissapointed in HOW straightfoward this was.

    Undead Scottsman on
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    Gaslight wrote: »
    Falx wrote: »
    It's not grease it's the finest of imported oils.

    Does it smell of cinamon and cardamom?

    Every night Kris gently runs his fingers through my downy soft neck hair, leaving his scent behind.

  • Titanium DragonTitanium Dragon Registered User regular
    I laughed and am already looking forward to the delicious crocodile tears shed by transsexuals, the furries, and the otherkin community, the last of which may actually provide us with some crocodiles, or the closest approximation thereof.

    Its probably doubly bad that I laughed at this given how many such people I know/am/was friends with but hey.

  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    *sigh*

    Here is a translation of the news post from Tycho's wonderful overwrought style into plain English for those of you who have led lives in which you have not read enough wonderful literature to be able to parse this sort of stuff with any degree of aplomb and who have consequently decided that @teknoanarchist has managed to provide a convincing simulacrum, which is decidedly not the case, despite the blowback at the crude but correct statement that @Falx made. Oh and I guess I have to cut out the fancy shit in this post. So here we go!
    I am a “good boy” when it comes to the vast majority of correct opinions.
    Some opinions are right. Some are wrong. "Kill the Jews" is wrong. "Halo is pretty great" is right. I agree with most of the right opinions.
    Some I believe because they are right, some I make peace with because they are inevitable, and some I honestly can’t believe we’re still arguing about, but that’s what’s it’s like when you live in a world filled with evil people who will not, can not be wished away. They stay, defiantly, even when you’ve put in a firm request with natural law that they evanesce.
    Some of the right opinions I believe because they are the right opinions. Some I believe because everyone has decided they are right, and I don't want to argue with them. Some are obviously right, but fucking idiots keep pretending like they're up for debate, even though they are obviously wrong and outdated.
    If my son came home from high school one day and told me tearfully, haltingly, that he was double gay, I would love him twice as much. I don’t give a shit about that.
    One of the "right opinions" I believe is that being gay is A-OK. I'm not one of those people who has an issue with being gay. Some people, of course, do have an issue with it.

    [He doesn't say this following bit, but I'm inferring it]

    Those people who have issues with gay people are those same people I was talking about above: they're the fucking idiots who are living in the past and who think it's up for debate whether it's OK to love someone of the same gender as you.
    If he was a llama or something I guess don’t have a bin for that yet. It seems like if I have to put up with a notoriously ill-tempered packbeast, I should be able to get wool and milk at a minimum. At a minimum. I assume shearing and milking your son is a form of abuse, but I don’t actually know if that’s true. Do you see what I mean? This is the wild-ass motherfucking frontier. Nobody knows the answers yet.
    I'm down with the gays. It's one of the many "right" opinions that I hold. Here's a "right" opinion that I'm not sure about: "being an otherkin, aka identifying as something other than a human being, like a llama, is OK." I don't even know what the fuck is up with otherkin. Gay people I understand. They like people of the same gender. That makes sense. No issue there. But otherkin? What the fuck does it mean if someone says they are a llama? I mean, obviously they're not a llama. Llamas have woolen pelts and long necks and we can milk them. Does this mean I can sheer and milk my son if he says I'm a llama? That sort of sounds like child abuse? Maybe? But I don't fucking know. Maybe if he likes it, then that's not child abuse at all, and in fact refusing to shear him would be child abuse. This doesn't make any fucking sense! I know that one of the "right" opinions is that I should be tolerant of otherkin just like I'm tolerant of gay people, but it's just... super weird!
    I already have a hobbit for a wife, and a “pirate princess mechanic” for a daughter. I don’t need no proto-cameloid for son besides.
    I guess Jerry's wife identifies with hobbits or something? I don't know much about this. Maybe it's some sort of joke. I have no idea. Back into translation mode: My daughter is two parts "not a stereotypical girl at all" and two parts "princess" and my wife is straight out of a Tolkien novel. I put up with a lot of stuff. If suddenly my sun was an otherkin, that would be a lot for me to deal with. It's not trivial to accept this sort of thing. You can't just say "fine, son, I accept that you're a llama." This would be fucking hard! I know I should probably do it, but it would be weird as hell to think about.
    In our inimitable way, we tried to imagine our polymorphic, highly granular, identity performance culture occurring in or at any time but now.
    Mike/Gabe agrees with me, and since what we do is make comics, we decided that since it's super weird to think about it, we would think about it in the form of a comic. Specifically we started trying to imagine what would happen to an otherkin if instead of being on tumblr posting about the eye color of their fursona, they were in World War II shooting Nazis.
    You’re welcome to be insulted by it, but we actually fell in love with this man, so much so that we wrote two strips about him when we intended to write one. I know where it goes from here - think graphic novel/Hitler in a fursuit - but this may not be a real genre. Two strips is probably plenty. One strip may be too many!
    So that's today's strip and Monday's strip. Maybe it seems like we're making fun of otherkin, but we're not. This raccoon dude is our bro. This isn't exactly going to be the next Lookouts, though. We're done after this. Heck, we might've been done before this. This might turn into dickwolves all over again, except instead of feminists getting mad at us, it's going to be the weird otherkin subculture or something. Who knows. Let's find out.
    Welcome to Penny Arcade.
    Because whatever happens, this is how we do it here.

    TychoCelchuuu on
  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    I don't think furries and otherkin are interchangeable terms. One's a fetish, like finding anthropomorphised animals sexy, the other is folk who identify as animals or lawn chairs or whatever.

    Oh brilliant
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