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Debating whether to try and ask out a receptionist
PurpleMonkey
Why so derp?Registered User regular
Why so derp?Registered User regular
The receptionist in question is one who works at my local gym.
It's just I'm not sure possible to hit on a receptionist without coming across as really leery plus being a receptionist and being pretty good looking I imagine that quite a lot of people try flirting with her, in fact I actually overheard someone trying it on with her once.
Also with it being gym I'm probably one the more out of shape people who frequents.
It's just I'm not sure possible to hit on a receptionist without coming across as really leery plus being a receptionist and being pretty good looking I imagine that quite a lot of people try flirting with her, in fact I actually overheard someone trying it on with her once.
Also with it being gym I'm probably one the more out of shape people who frequents.
XBL, Steam & Tribes: elmartino333
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"Hi I'd like to get to know you better, would you like to get some coffee sometime?" Change coffee to whatever suits your fancy that's easy to do in your area.
Do you guys talk beyond the small talk required by her working the front desk? It's tough to judge when someone is in a job like that, because it's their job to be friendly to you. How did the other guy asking her out go?
Unfortunately the way gym entree works is that they pretty much just swipe your membership card and let you through so it doesn’t leave amount of time to talk
I couldn’t really stick to overhear the entirety of the conversation she was having with her guy who was flirting but he wasn’t being particularly subtle and she seemed a bit put off by that
XBL, Steam & Tribes: elmartino333
I generally agree with this.
And I mean, if you haven't had time to talk to her, how do you even know her well enough to be interested, or to have any idea at all whether she's interested in you? Is it just that you think she's pretty and she smiles at you, or what?
Unless you've got something to suggest your advances would be in any way welcome, I would never, ever recommend hitting on someone who's at work. Particularly if it's a desk job.
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I have it's just not really been anything beyond small talk
XBL, Steam & Tribes: elmartino333
This. She's basically trapped behind her desk while you make things reallllly uncomfortable by asking out someone you have next to no idea about. The only time I'd ever advocate this is if it's someplace you rarely go and there's definitely some sort of connection between you two.
I've always found it lessens the creep/uncomfortable factor.
Been there. It's pretty unfun.
Think I'll try a little bit more small talk, if it doesn't flow naturally or she doesn't seem particularly interested then I won't pursue it further
XBL, Steam & Tribes: elmartino333
not only is it corny to try, but she probably filters out all that shit anyway just to get through the day
we also talk about other random shit and clown upon each other
Little details and being friendly will make life a little more bearable.
Some people will be really uncomfortable being approached. Others wont. There's no way of us knowing which she is.
The only advice I have is, don't be weird. If it seems weird to you, it probably is. If it happens, it'll probably happen naturally.
Seriously, though. Go say hello. Act natural.
This isn't something you do until you've established some sort of friendly rapport. It's gonna come off as super bizarre otherwise.
Think I phrased the thread title wrongly I wasn't just going to ask her out of the blue
XBL, Steam & Tribes: elmartino333
Honestly this sounds like a tricky situation to engineer from the fairly little you've got to go on. If you just go for it you could get lucky and she won't feel like it's weird, but under the circumstances I don't feel great about telling you to do that.
"Hey so you seem like a very interesting person, and I wanted to get to know you better, but we don't really have a chance to talk here, and I wouldn't want to put you on the spot when you're supposed to be working in the first place. So listen: here's my phone number. If you feel like grabbing a cup of coffee sometime, give me a call. If not, no big deal, okay? Listen, I gotta run, but enjoy the rest of your day!"
About a month and a half ago, I'd mentioned I'd recently become single, and she said the same. She said she wasn't upset, but she was stressed out about the situation so she'd been playing some Gears 3 to vent frustration. I mentioned I played it also, and she gave me her Xbox Live gamertag after I paid. She sent me her phone number over Live and I asked her out for dinner. Turns out she's been attracted to me the whole time, and now she's my girlfriend.
I'd recommend trying to find ways to make small talk with her for a few weeks before asking her to grab coffee or a drink sometime.
This is exactly, EXACTLY how you go about asking someone out. It's like I want to frame this and put it on my wall.
That's rad and all, but a very different situation as having conversation while she's cutting your hair is quite natural and if she didn't like talking to people, she'd be in the wrong business. As has been said before, the real issue isn't that there's anything wrong with approaching a stranger for a date. The real issue is that she's stuck there out in front at a desk and the OP has seen other dudes hitting on her. It's just not fair to her to put her in this awkward situation like every other dude that tries to put moves on her. Surely the OP can find some other lady to ask out in a setting where she doesn't feel trapped and constantly harangued by lovestruck dudes.
I don't see how it's a problem for him to try to strike up a conversation with her and see where it goes. As a receptionist, you also need to be ready to talk to people. OP probably shouldn't ask her out for coffee the very first time they speak, but it'd be swell to test the waters a bit and try engaging in some smalltalk with her.
This is why when chatting up a waitress, bartender, barrista, receptionist, or other highly customer-facing position additional discretion should be exercised. It's not cool to take advantage of the fact that this person's job includes being friendly, personable and approachable in order to chat them up. I'm not saying don't test the waters, but you probably shouldn't ask them out while they are on the clock, especially in view of other customers or employees.
If she was interested, it probably would've been obvious at this point. Especially someone in her position who spends all day getting hit on. The last bit "Try and fail, never try..." is way too simple for the real world. It may work 1 in 100 times, but it's bad odds and not worth trying. There are far better ways to go about it. Like say...getting to know someone before you ask them out based solely on looks.
Still, though, if the entirety of you wanting to ask her out is "she's pretty" and "she is polite to me", you're doing it wrong.
So, as corny as it sounds, sending flowers to random girls can work. You just have to find the right girl on the right day, and be a doctor driving a $90,000 car.
I love how some people only think of themselves. What about making her uncomfortable at that moment and possibly for a while after every time that he comes into the gym? And please don't give me the "If she was cool, she wouldn't care!". It's not "on her", it's on him. He's the one who instigated things. People can't help they feel, but other people can recognize the consequences of their actions.
So what? At worst, you're creating a temporarily awkward situation. If she's not into it, maybe it's a faux pas. If she is, you get a date. By asking her out to coffee, all you would be doing is extending an invitation. He's not going to be the first stranger to ask her out, and he's not going to be the last. I still don't see why this deserves treatment as a moral dilemma.
EDIT: I guess what I'm saying is: OP should go for it. Clearly he wants to. If he behaves like an adult, the worst that can happen is he looks like a bit of an ass and the girl is momentarily uncomfortable. The only point at which he's actually doing anything wrong is if she says "no" and he keeps on insisting.
What if the receptionist thinks the OP is interesting? You don't want to blow your chances by treating her badly.
XBL, Steam & Tribes: elmartino333
I intially thought about this but she's been working at the gym for quite awhile now and I have never seen her around town
XBL, Steam & Tribes: elmartino333
Also the degree of planning that goes into manufacturing a casual bump-in with someone you only know from your gym makes this inherently more creepy than any other suggestion thus far?