Roomates trying to threaten

satdallas

My roommate who is the tenant asks me to leave within two weeks after i gave the notice. Technically its written on the lease that if any one of us agrees to leave, a 30 day notice should be given. Since i gave the notice to vacate she is telling me that you have to get out of the place within two weeks. Obviously we both are not on the same page, but threatens me saying that she will call the police. By the way i am a male and she is a female. Dont know what to do if she calls the police. Can stay for my 30 days or not.

Brolo

I think you probably want to post this in the H/A forum.

Rainfall

Are you on the lease? If yes, you're fine. If no, you're screwed.

Raijin Quickfoot

You've got Squatter's Rights.

Mysst

steal her phone

Rankenphile

You're probably better off asking this over in the Help and Advice forum, as that's what that forum is for. You're a lot more likely to get a bunch of smart-ass answers that won't really help you much here.

That said, if the lease says you have 30 days, then you have 30 days. You're not legally obligated to do anything beyond what is on the contract, in my understanding. If there are other problems between you and your roommate, then that's up to you to deal with.

Brolo

But, chances are your city has by-laws and a landlord/tenant association that will spell out exactly how this works legally, and hopefully they'll have someone you can call up and explain the situation to, and they'll be able to give you proper advice for how to handle this.

Fandyien

fight them

Rankenphile

Oh yeah I forgot, you could try to fight them also.

I Win Swordfights

have you ever fought a woman before?

here are some tips:

Raijin Quickfoot

Has anyone suggested fighting them yet?

Mysst

when fighting a woman, remember that it's just like fighting a chimp

they're gonna claw and bite at your eyes, fingers and genitals, so protect those areas

DouglasDanger

poop in the water tank of the toilet, then put her reaction on youtube

T4CT

just tie her up man

fightinfilipino

waitaminute...you're the guy who posted the thread in H/A where you complain that your hot female roommate was giving every guy in the city but you some action.

so how's that goin? doesn't sound all too great apparently!

Zuel

Go for the eyes Boo

Hunter

Mysst wrote: »

when fighting a woman, remember that it's just like fighting a chimp

they're gonna claw and bite at your eyes, fingers and genitals, so protect those areas

True, but they're weak against math and basic logic problems. A simple word problem involving basic algebra or maybe even a geometry question may knock them out for the count. If that fails, demand accurate directions to a location using a map.

Rankenphile

Oh shit, it is you.

Yeah, you should definitely fight her.

Kadith

Stop being a creep.

Also burn down the house.

Hunter

fightinfilipino wrote: »

waitaminute...you're the guy who posted the thread in H/A where you complain that your hot female roommate was giving every guy in the city but you some action.

so how's that goin? doesn't sound all too great apparently!

Remember, the difference between a whore and a slut is that a whore will sleep with anybody, and a slut will sleep with anybody but you.

Baroque And Roll

fightinfilipino wrote: »

waitaminute...you're the guy who posted the thread in H/A where you complain that your hot female roommate was giving every guy in the city but you some action.

so how's that goin? doesn't sound all too great apparently!

Oh lawd

Death of Rats

Dude, just remember, when you're asking if you can stay for the full thirty days, and she says no... no really means yes. Or whatever creepy as hell thing you believe.

fightinfilipino

dude, fight for your 30 days. you can totally get it in if you have that time.

if you leave now, you'll never get it in.

Brolo

okay well than I guess my advice is

GET OUT OF THERE

Brolo

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Death of Rats

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MN1SnvHSQLg

Hunter

Yeah, at least stick around long enough to collect any hair she left in the bathroom and maybe snag a pair of her underwear as a reminder of how goddamn creepy you sound like.

Kadith

Just start walking around naked

let her know what she's going to be missing out on

KetBra

Make sure to punctuate every sentence by pointing at your crotch and waggling your eyebrows.

Ladies love that shit.

Hunter

Kadith wrote: »

Just start walking around naked

let her know what she's going to be missing out on

I think that only works if you're in a movie and look like Jennifer Aniston.

Centipede Damascus

@satdallas she probably wants the apartment free for more gigolos

make sure to tell the police that if she calls them, that will get them on your side

Rankenphile

If you start walking around naked, I recommend using a sharpie to draw an arrow on your tummy pointing at your sweet sweet dong, with the words "PARTYMOBILE" written above the arrow

Then stick your head into whatever room she is at least once an hour or so and say, "I'm sorry, did I overhear someone calling for a ride on the PARTYMOBILE?"

Death of Rats

Dude, all you need to do is make her jealous, and then she not only won't make you leave, but will let you into her frothy loins. Next guy she brings over, strike up a conversation. Get to know him. Seduce him with your creepy ways. Then, and this is important, make sure when you're giving him head to do it right on the couch in the living room. And make sure to go deep, make sure she sees how good you are at it. Then, after you get him off and he leaves for the night, tell her how much you wish that was her. Show her the blow up doll with the strap on attached which you dressed up in her cloths. Then stroke her hair, and say "I don't need to be inside of you. I already am".

If you do this, I know for sure you'll be in dude. It's like, science.

Brolo

Rankenphile wrote: »

If you start walking around naked, I recommend using a sharpie to draw an arrow on your tummy pointing at your sweet sweet dong, with the words "PARTYMOBILE" written above the arrow

Then stick your head into whatever room she is at least once an hour or so and say, "I'm sorry, did I overhear someone calling for a ride on the PARTYMOBILE?"

try and ease around the doorframe erect dong first

Fandyien

get a job as one of the gigolos

KetBra

Do you do that before or after you fight

Kadith

Maybe she wants to start her own male prostitution ring.

Berk

femaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalessssssssssssss

BusterK

Just starting pooping in random places

Rankenphile

You could also put the chiquita banana sticker on your dong and walk around asking her if she's hungry all the time

or if she's feeling particularly potassium deficient

fightinfilipino

Kadith wrote: »

Maybe she wants to start her own male prostitution ring.

he should teach some Zumba classes to get into the industry.