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[PA Comic] Friday, November 9, 2012 - Red Hot

GethGeth LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
edited November 2012 in The Penny Arcade Hub

Posts

  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    I didn't know this was a thing.

    But thinking about it...

    Yeah. True story.

    Also, love Gabe's face in the second panel. So ashamed, but he can't pull up now.

    Oh brilliant
  • kingworkskingworks Registered User regular
    Gabe, I know you've seen enough porn to know better. Tsk.

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Also, love Gabe's face in the second panel. So ashamed, but he can't pull out now.

    They're like like tiny red barbs - it will only make it worse.

  • Groosenat0rGroosenat0r http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy70Z6x00TM SkyloftRegistered User regular
    The more you know...

  • KurganKurgan Registered User regular
    Tycho wrote: »
    It is my opinion, which I think is still allowed but it can be difficult to tell, that pursuing women who do not have red hair isn’t a good time investment. Eventually you will look at her hair, realize it’s not red, and come to understand that you’ve settled for less.

    I couldn't agree more.

  • Monkey Ball WarriorMonkey Ball Warrior A collection of mediocre hats Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Kurgan wrote: »
    Tycho wrote: »
    It is my opinion, which I think is still allowed but it can be difficult to tell, that pursuing women who do not have red hair isn’t a good time investment. Eventually you will look at her hair, realize it’s not red, and come to understand that you’ve settled for less.

    I couldn't agree more.

    It's now in my list of Best Tycho Quotes, along with these:
    The universe will not be altered by forum threads, even those which are very wry.
    All-Day Breakfast is as much a philosophy as a business policy; the idea isn’t that pancakes are good, and must be eaten. The idea contained within its humming core is that you are the kind of person who might wake up, literally, at any juncture in the day’s twenty-four hour span and thus require the first meal of the “day” even when it is not daytime and is, in fact, its gravest enemy.
    I resent the entire notion of a body as an ante and then raise you a generalized dissatisfaction with physicality itself.

    "I resent the entire notion of a body as an ante and then raise you a generalized dissatisfaction with physicality itself" -- Tycho
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    There are so many awesome Tycho quotes it would be impossible to compile even half of them. Some favorites from the top of my head:
    The hippo was small, lying on its side, and its long tongue wrapped around it in an apparently infinite sequence of concentric rings. The exertion it took to maintain this creature was immense, and very near the limits of my ability; if not for the richness and amiability of his company, I might have consigned him to oblivion.
    I am extremely enthusiastic about nectarines. They’re fantastic. Like all fruit, there is definitely something erotic in their presentation. I bought one with the intention of eating it.

    When they’re ripe enough, no cutting is required. You can just grab both sides and twist - as you might twist a squirrel - and then eat the halves over the sink wildly while the juice runs down your arm. That didn’t happen this time. What happened is that though it looked fresh enough on the outside, something terrible had taken root in the core of it. As I twisted with triumph and abandon, bringing a half close to my face, I would see that somehow about fourteen earwigs had been born in the seed, and I had twisted open their dwelling. The fruit was black inside. Earwigs were writhing, falling out, clinging to it. Seeing decay and abundance so juxtaposed I dropped it began to scream as loud as I could. It’s an image that stuck with me, and my toes are curling under my desk just thinking of it.
    It hits us, hits us both, simultaneously, like a semi made out of lightning which is also a professional boxer. Carrot Cake Soup. You cube the carrot cake, some pieces have frosting and some don’t, and you put a handful of these chunks into a bowl full of milk. So let’s go do it. We’ll do it later this week, he says. But I know that’s the same as not doing it. Why not now, I say? I know a store where we can get all the stuff. You can just buy it, the way you can buy stuff in the household cleaners section and make a bomb big enough to kill God. The stuff is just lying around there and nobody’s doing anything with it. It’s not a crime to buy them separately, and what we do at home isn’t any of their fucking business.

  • BassguyBassguy Ghost Ride the Dragon Registered User regular
    The facial expressions make this comic.

    Also, I collect quotes from Jerry.
    Yesterday, I called again to see if they had any cards, which you will recognize as a product I would like to purchase from their fucking store.

    She stopped in the middle of the road, which necessitated the kind of tugging and goading we usually associate with livestock. “That was really weird,” she said, and laughed. “That hole would be a good place for a Bombchu.

    How had we been enriched by the act? Not all toil is virtuous. Some toil is just regular old slavery.

    You couldn’t throw a rock now without it striking a vagina.

    Finally, an attempt at real discourse that operates from a core of cold reason and doesn’t rely upon ad hominem. He does resort to ad mominem, but who can resist.

    It was never clear to me if the shot was offered up by a necromancer, or someone who goes by Necromancer, or if this aesthetic is the preference of nine out of ten necromancers, or what. Shit be ambiguous.

    “Once we noticed our audience, we began to talk about how much we like to pet dogs and how ice cream is, in fact, so good.”

    I was under the impression this was well known, but it does require a willingness to perceive factual information, which is not a universal trait among cultists.

    “A digital ‘book’ - caged on a device, licensed, not purchased - is the sort of thing that greases their mandibles with digestive enzymes. Imagine what these people must think of libraries.

    If that is too small for you, we’ve tested it, and it fits perfectly on lynxes or other mountain cats. You know. If you have one of those.

    And no-one of any sense has ever bet against the scorn and resourcefulness of young men.

    I apologize that the post went up much later than usual, a deeply immoral act which you may correlate directly with my own sloth. That’s definition one, not definition two: I don’t actually own a sloth. I should get a sloth, maybe, just to blame things on.

    This is the closing of a single circuit, encapsulated in an act that feels like punishment: I’m literally banishing the machine from my home. Get the fuck out of here. Come back when you lose the sassmouth.

    "No-one seems to care, least of all Sony, who is performing lip tricks off a wave of ambiguity.

    On the whole, I’d say thinking has been a tremendous inconvenience.

    I wasn’t aware this is something one did, but I’m overjoyed to live in a world more interesting than I previously thought.

    “I will have to open the sunroof, which I have never opened because it lets in the sun, in order to contain this weapon.”

    “I don’t believe this would ever happen, for no other reason than because it makes sense and is a great idea.”

    “I’ve made it pretty clear that I tend to play women in Bioware games - Shepherd is not now, nor has ever been, a man. I don’t know who the dude traipsing around in the commercials is; a jerk, most likely.”

    I grew up deeply religious, and so this kind of tribalism isn’t a new phenomenon to me - it’s a big part of why I couldn’t call myself a Christian anymore. Also, I thought some premarital sex would really hit the spot. I wasn’t wrong about that, either. Wow!

    “Rovio announced Angry Birds Space, which seems like a strange place to host their customary revels, because inertia.”

    “If you are already a liar, it doesn’t help if you ALSO look like an insufferable twat.”

  • Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme BAH! He was a rank amateur compared to, DR. COLOSSUS!Registered User regular
    Also, love Gabe's face in the second panel. So ashamed, but he can't pull up now.

    Then he very simply needs to eject.

  • brossabrossa Registered User new member
    I'm a red haired dude; what mythology do I get?

    I was in my late twenties and a female colleague at work started calling me 'F.C.', which is nowhere near my actual initials. I was completely bewildered by this for a week or so until someone else explained 'fire crotch' to me. As God is my witness, I had gone over a quarter century as a redhead without ever hearing that term before.

  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    I dunno about this comic, but fuck do I want that hoodie.

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  • Black_HeartBlack_Heart Registered User regular
    The elusive "Emo Gabe" makes an appearance in panel 2.

  • mare_imbriummare_imbrium Registered User regular
    I thought the comic was really funny. The newspost, well...it made me think of this:
    It is my opinion, which I think is still allowed but it can be difficult to tell, that pursuing men who are shorter than 6'2" isn’t a good time investment. Eventually you will look at him, realize you're not looking up far enough, and come to understand that you’ve settled for less.

    Admittedly I had a boyfriend once who was only 6'1", but I had to pick a taller height to be more statistically equivalent to red hair. My husband is 6'4" though. I upgraded. :P

    I don't have a beef with Tycho, really. I'm assuming this is tongue in cheek and he is just trying to express happiness with his choice of wife. S'cool. But I have heard the ridiculous mythology of redheaded women and how much better they are in every way to the rest of us inferiors since I was a teenager, and I was a little surprised this is still a thing in this decade. And sorry @brossa, there is no similar mythology for redheaded men, as far as I know, and I dated one. He didn't know of any either. It was much later I heard Brits referring to "gingers," which is I believe some kind of insult.

    Oh, and this is my favorite Tycho quote:
    There are things about Home that are simply beyond my understanding. Chief among these bizarre maneuvers is the idea that, when manufacturing their flimsy dystopia, they actually ported the pernicious notion of scarcity from our world into their digital one. This is like having the ability to shape being from non-being at the subatomic level, and the first thing you decide to make is AIDS.

    v2zAToe.jpg
    Wii: 4521 1146 5179 1333 Pearl: 3394 4642 8367 HG: 1849 3913 3132
  • HenroidHenroid Mexican kicked from Immigration Thread Centrism is Racism :3Registered User regular
    Sign me up for this comic being a great one.

  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Red head fetish is an issue I struggle with errday. When I see a freckled red headed lass my instinct is to swoon but I must not for it is an objectification not sincere attraction. Like some dudes with Asian ladies. Or Japan.

    Fear not women of the world I shall remain steadfast in my vigilance to give you all a fair shot at dis right hurr

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    I think my very favorite part is how innocent Gabe's first question seemingly is, but Tycho knows, he knows with certainty, that is going to veer off into a bad place.

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  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    where exactly did the nerds and red heads thing come from

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  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    where exactly did the nerds and red heads thing come from

    tumblr_m8h5deS50C1qzs906o1_400.jpg

  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    And perpetuated by Felicia Day.

    Aaaa Felicia Day <3

    Oh brilliant
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    I imagine Willow from Buffy didn't help much either.

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  • mare_imbriummare_imbrium Registered User regular
    Well, The X Files was on when I was in high school, but Buffy wasn't. I don't recall any specific actress from all the rhapsodizing about redheads. It just existed. Including endless discussion of carpets and whether or not they matched drapes and how utterly essential that was.

    v2zAToe.jpg
    Wii: 4521 1146 5179 1333 Pearl: 3394 4642 8367 HG: 1849 3913 3132
  • Monkey Ball WarriorMonkey Ball Warrior A collection of mediocre hats Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    I'm sure it's not a geek-specific thing. I can't imagine why it would be. Freckles and coppery plumage and an increased risk for melanoma has to have an appeal that transcends culture.

    I don't actually agree with the statement, even though I love it and feel exactly where he is coming from. Tycho may have forgotten what it is like to be single: He's already found his mate and sealed the deal by instantiating new humans. Those of us that have not can't really allow our legit, even emphatic preferences to evolve into rigid criteria, or we'll be single forever.

    "I resent the entire notion of a body as an ante and then raise you a generalized dissatisfaction with physicality itself" -- Tycho
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Those of us that have not can't really allow our legit, even emphatic preferences to evolve into rigid criteria, or we'll be single forever.

    To be (semi) serious in here, does that matter? Or rather, if you have preferences/desires/requirements, should you settle for something that doesn't meet them in order not to be single?

    Seems to really depend on what you can and cannot compromise on, and how long you're willing to wait to find it - which could be 'forever'.

  • Monkey Ball WarriorMonkey Ball Warrior A collection of mediocre hats Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Those of us that have not can't really allow our legit, even emphatic preferences to evolve into rigid criteria, or we'll be single forever.

    To be (semi) serious in here, does that matter? Or rather, if you have preferences/desires/requirements, should you settle for something that doesn't meet them in order not to be single?

    Seems to really depend on what you can and cannot compromise on, and how long you're willing to wait to find it - which could be 'forever'.

    Fair enough. Maybe what I should say is that I personally wouldn't go so far as to make hair color a requirement, but I can maybe sympathize with someone having that position when it comes to redheads.

    "I resent the entire notion of a body as an ante and then raise you a generalized dissatisfaction with physicality itself" -- Tycho
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    Hair color is fine as a "preference."

    If you make it a "requirement" you need to grow the fuck up.

  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    edited November 2012
    Gaslight wrote: »
    Hair color is fine as a "preference."

    If you make it a "requirement" you need to grow the fuck up.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tesqTwX7cpc

    (Not quite the perfect clip but it's the closest on YouTube)

    TychoCelchuuu on
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    Gaslight wrote: »
    Hair color is fine as a "preference."

    If you make it a "requirement" you need to grow the fuck up.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tesqTwX7cpc

    (Not quite the perfect clip but it's the closest on YouTube)

    You posting this just made me realize how way too much Jimmy Stewart's buddy knew about his most obsessive fetishes.

    "excuse my French
    But fuck you — no, fuck y'all, that's as blunt as it gets"
    - Kendrick Lamar, "The Blacker the Berry"
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Gaslight wrote: »
    Hair color is fine as a "preference."

    If you make it a "requirement" you need to grow the fuck up.

    But why? If someone is willing to wait to find the perfect ginger, why is that a problem? Assuming they don't sit around bitching how they hate being single.

    Like Dan Savage's extreme example of furries - he seems to find them as odd as most people do, but also sympathizes with them because what they find sexually appealing - an anthropomorphic, sentient fox - is something they will never find.

  • Comedy RefluxComedy Reflux Web creator FlandersRegistered User regular
    We can all imagine the missus being absolutely exuberant when she reads this one. "Woman, did you not watch yesterday's Triangulation? You were warned." Jerry explains. "We must each sacrifice a part of 'the self' to reach the highest forms of comedy."

    We can also imagine Brenna agreeing. No doubt, when Jerry later writes "How I became a eunuch", this exchange of ideas between the two will be the introduction of the book.

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    Back after a three year hiatus!
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    This is actually one of the safer wife comics they've done.

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  • EmperorSethEmperorSeth Registered User regular
    I imagine Willow from Buffy didn't help much either.

    And Kaylee, of course.

    ....well, SHIT, Joss Whedon.

    You know what? Nanowrimo's cancelled on account of the world is stupid.
  • marsiliesmarsilies Registered User regular
    You all are forgetting Dr. Beverly Crusher.

    Beverly_Crusher_001.jpg

  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    Oh, I haven't forgotten.

  • HewnHewn Registered User regular
    Oh, I haven't forgotten.

    With no shame, I will say it's her and Scully that shaped some very impressionable years for me. Additionally: both doctors. Coincidence? Highly unlikely.

    Steam: hewn
    Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
  • bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    you nerds and felicia day.

    i swear that women is in no way shape or form visually attractive.

    (i know, diff'rent strokes and all)

  • Chris FOMChris FOM Registered User regular
    We can all imagine the missus being absolutely exuberant when she reads this one. "Woman, did you not watch yesterday's Triangulation? You were warned." Jerry explains. "We must each sacrifice a part of 'the self' to reach the highest forms of comedy."

    We can also imagine Brenna agreeing. No doubt, when Jerry later writes "How I became a eunuch", this exchange of ideas between the two will be the introduction of the book.

    I think his proposal to Brenna to start a harem would get higher priority.

  • LockedOnTargetLockedOnTarget Registered User regular
    Don't forget Mary Jane, Jean Grey, Poison Ivy, Starfire, Batgirl, and other comic book redheads.

  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    Even Robert Heinlein had a redhead fetish it seems.

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  • lobbyguylobbyguy Registered User new member
    I seem to remember Sherlock Holmes poking fun at Watson's tendency to chase after auburn haired maidens. I could be wrong, I can't remember which story that was and the internet defies my search words.

  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    I must be weird because I have no hair color preference whatsoever.

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