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Lies you have told
Brolo
BroseidonLord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
BroseidonLord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
Share horrible lies you have told other people.
Here's a recent one:
Yesterday, during a very hectic day at work, I got a belligerent customer come in to my store from out of town, looking for the old Maytag service center that used to be in the same unit that the computer store I now work in occupies, but had moved out a few months ago.
He was a smelly old man who was chewing tobacco and constantly spitting its juice on you when he talked. After complaining that he waited for "well over a minute" to have someone ask him what he wanted, and then telling off the cashier for not knowing the directions to where ever the Maytag center moved to, I smiled and told him that 'the new location was located just outside of the city, take two lefts out of the plaza, get on to this one way road and follow it all the way into Gliddenville, look for a street called Goldham. Now the sign for Goldham Street isn't lit up because it's all factories there, so if you don't see it just keep your eyes out for a brown building that has a white garage on the front. The place closes at 9:00 so you still have a bit of time to get there'.
I still don't have any idea where the actual location of that building was, but I do know that if he followed my directions he'd have to drive for an hour just to be stuck on a one way road looking for an unlit building that doesn't exist.
Here's a recent one:
Yesterday, during a very hectic day at work, I got a belligerent customer come in to my store from out of town, looking for the old Maytag service center that used to be in the same unit that the computer store I now work in occupies, but had moved out a few months ago.
He was a smelly old man who was chewing tobacco and constantly spitting its juice on you when he talked. After complaining that he waited for "well over a minute" to have someone ask him what he wanted, and then telling off the cashier for not knowing the directions to where ever the Maytag center moved to, I smiled and told him that 'the new location was located just outside of the city, take two lefts out of the plaza, get on to this one way road and follow it all the way into Gliddenville, look for a street called Goldham. Now the sign for Goldham Street isn't lit up because it's all factories there, so if you don't see it just keep your eyes out for a brown building that has a white garage on the front. The place closes at 9:00 so you still have a bit of time to get there'.
I still don't have any idea where the actual location of that building was, but I do know that if he followed my directions he'd have to drive for an hour just to be stuck on a one way road looking for an unlit building that doesn't exist.
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fuck that guy
She drank it. I think she got sick. Heheh.
(Does that count as a lie? I don't know.)
it was her
Oh man I remember Crystal Pepsi
Thats counts as fucking heinous.
:^:
my dad was all "are you fucking her?"
and i told him "no"
STEAM!
I'm actually thinking of doing this, but my conscience is holding me back.
I am very good at it
but I never lie about serious things. Just seemingly ridiculous stuff. I'll go on and on until whoever I'm lying to believes me and then I'll either say I lied or I'll act I never said anything about it
it's a great way to keep a chick away from you
I've done it before, you feel horrible about doing it, then she starts putting out more, then you might be able to convince yourself you believe it, and then when the break up happens you remember that everything was lies, wonderful sex-giving lies.
I was like 4. She didn't drink it though.
Although she lied to me about sleeping with every guy in town. So I didn't feel bad.
This one time I put apple juice into a pee cup and said it was pee. I was 18
nobody believed it, though
She's a 23-year old virgin. I don't know. Part of me wants to go through with it, but part of me realizes it's going to make things weird.
Dammit, put the cup away already, Keith.
is she hot
Remember, the truth would be "I'm dumping you because you won't put out" which can be just as painful but makes her think that she had the moral high ground, and you can't have that.
This is the only relevant question.
Answer: yes.
I'm not going to do it though.
also i pose as a man on the internet
STEAM!
that's true
your risk dude
on the other hand = ripe virgin ass
can i have her number then
YOU WILL LOSE HER TO THE FIRST GUY WHO HAS THE GUTS TO LIE TO HER AND RAVAGE THAT VAG
Even better: She's Mexican, I'm Korean. And I'm 19. I found out she has a hardcore asian male fetish.
take her horse riding until she busts her hymen then tell her it's all the same to god
Better yet, tell her anal sex will preserve her virginity.
Then the night after we had sex for the first time and it wasn't any good I told her it wasn't working because I was afraid we were getting "too close" and it was scaring me that I could feel so much for her so quickly, so I needed some space.
But the truth was that she gave toothy head.
See, that right there is a lie.