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someone broke into my house and drank my soda

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Posts

  • M.D.M.D. and then what happens? Registered User regular
    edited December 2012
    But that doesn't look like it multipurposes as a flashlight at all.

    It also doesn't look very heavy. I need something I can operate like a baseball bat because at least I am familiar with how baseball bats work.

    we used them in embassy security, they are light but strong, we weren't allowed to hit anyone in the head, neck, or joints cause with a decent amount of force you could break something on them / cause brain damage.

    plus they collapse into a nice little palm size thing and can be expanded really quickly when needed. Much better than carrying around a big heavy flashlight.

    M.D. on
  • ButtlordButtlord Fornicus Lord of Bondage and PainRegistered User regular
    But that doesn't look like it multipurposes as a flashlight at all.

    It also doesn't look very heavy. I need something I can operate like a baseball bat because at least I am familiar with how baseball bats work.

    those things hit like a goddamn truck

  • KadithKadith Registered User regular
    M.D. wrote: »
    But that doesn't look like it multipurposes as a flashlight at all.

    It also doesn't look very heavy. I need something I can operate like a baseball bat because at least I am familiar with how baseball bats work.

    we used them in embassy security, they are light but strong, we weren't allowed to hit anyone in the head, neck, or joints cause with a decent amount of force you could break something on them / cause brain damage.

    plus they collapse into a nice little palm size thing and can be expanded really quickly when needed. Much better than carrying around a big heavy flashlight.

    Also illegal in some states.

    zkHcp.jpg
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Plus you look like some kinda dystopian-future special police officer.

  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    edited December 2012
    I am gonna buy one of those big Mag-Lites for myself when I move back and just keep it by my bed for blackouts and people who may need to be hit in the face with a Mag-Lite

    I have never actually hit anyone but I am fairly sure of my ability to do so if I needed to

    Probably

    Maybe...

    Us humans pretty much have bashing things with a lever in our DNA, if your arms work you are good to go

    Hobnail on
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  • -smash-smash Registered User regular
    TankHammer wrote: »
    Plus you look like some kinda dystopian-future special police officer.

    Demanding that they pick up that can just comes so... so naturally

  • WeaverWeaver Breakfast Witch Hashus BrowniusRegistered User regular
    You'd need to either bring a battering ram or scale a four story brick wall to get in here.

  • ArangArang HUEY LEWISRegistered User regular
    M.D. wrote: »
    But that doesn't look like it multipurposes as a flashlight at all.

    It also doesn't look very heavy. I need something I can operate like a baseball bat because at least I am familiar with how baseball bats work.

    we used them in embassy security, they are light but strong, we weren't allowed to hit anyone in the head, neck, or joints cause with a decent amount of force you could break something on them / cause brain damage.

    plus they collapse into a nice little palm size thing and can be expanded really quickly when needed. Much better than carrying around a big heavy flashlight.

    and you have the whole thing where you snap it out and looks intimidating as hell, like racking a shotgun

    plus the ladies love it

    thenews.jpg
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    Arang wrote: »
    M.D. wrote: »
    But that doesn't look like it multipurposes as a flashlight at all.

    It also doesn't look very heavy. I need something I can operate like a baseball bat because at least I am familiar with how baseball bats work.

    we used them in embassy security, they are light but strong, we weren't allowed to hit anyone in the head, neck, or joints cause with a decent amount of force you could break something on them / cause brain damage.

    plus they collapse into a nice little palm size thing and can be expanded really quickly when needed. Much better than carrying around a big heavy flashlight.

    and you have the whole thing where you snap it out and looks intimidating as hell, like racking a shotgun

    plus the ladies love it

    I uh

    I think you're using it wrong

  • stimtokolosstimtokolos Registered User regular
    Were you out without your wallet or was it a spare?

    it was my only wallet, I was sleeping 5 feet from it when they took it

    Man that sucks, I'm amazed they were chilled enough to take the time to drink your soda and drop it (maybe making a noise?).

  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    ZeroFill wrote: »
    I don't even know what I would do if I found an intruder in my house at night

    I'm not interested in killing anyone in my own house so shooting them isn't something I'd do

    I've always thought about having a shotgun loaded with only rubber pellets so they'll just wish they were dead

    Rock salt

  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Have you considered that this guy might be Kai Leng

  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    okay so we've established that this intruder is desperate and crazy to go through such risk for such little reward

    but even this person was not desperate and crazy enough to take more than one sip of your soda

    PNk1Ml4.png
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    okay so we've established that this intruder is desperate and crazy to go through such risk for such little reward

    but even this person was not desperate and crazy enough to take more than one sip of your soda

    Have you met many mentally-unstable people? The intruder probably couldn't even process most of what they were doing and likely grabbed the can in the fridge thinking it was alcohol, only top spit it out and throw it when the beer tasted like sugar.

    There is also the chance they were having an argument with the pink aardvark who lives in their ear canal and threw the can to shut them up. Maybe both!

  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    edited December 2012
    Ashcroft wrote: »
    This is why I poison all food and drink in my house.

    http://youtu.be/0sPVEBAtwmg?t=3m8s

    Goose! on
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    should a woken up

    and then

    woken down

  • Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular
    TankHammer wrote: »
    Have you met many mentally-unstable people? The intruder probably couldn't even process most of what they were doing and likely grabbed the can in the fridge thinking it was alcohol, only top spit it out and throw it when the beer tasted like sugar.

    There is also the chance they were having an argument with the pink aardvark who lives in their ear canal and threw the can to shut them up. Maybe both!

    Those aardvarks are always starting shit.

    Are you sure it wasn't a bear? Scatter some bear traps around to keep the rest out.
    TankHammer wrote: »
    Plus you look like some kinda dystopian-future special police officer.

    If you can buy them, then the dystopian future is now. A terrible future filled with bears.

  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    But that doesn't look like it multipurposes as a flashlight at all.

    It also doesn't look very heavy. I need something I can operate like a baseball bat because at least I am familiar with how baseball bats work.

    Those can crack concrete but stick with a Mag Lite.

    Light + Beatin' Stick

    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    ZeroFill wrote: »
    I don't even know what I would do if I found an intruder in my house at night

    I'm not interested in killing anyone in my own house so shooting them isn't something I'd do

    I've always thought about having a shotgun loaded with only rubber pellets so they'll just wish they were dead

    Rock salt

    These are both terrible ideas.

    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    But that doesn't look like it multipurposes as a flashlight at all.

    It also doesn't look very heavy. I need something I can operate like a baseball bat because at least I am familiar with how baseball bats work.

    Those can crack concrete but stick with a Mag Lite.

    Light + Beatin' Stick

    They sure aren't light beating sticks though. Put some batteries in em and they get heavy

    JtgVX0H.png
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    I've got a four-cell maglite and swinging that mother is no joke

  • FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    One really hot heatwave summer, my second cousin found the best way to get comfortable was to open the door to his apartment balcony, pull the mattress off the bed and sleep in front of the open door.

    Someone saw the open door, climbed up the one or two storeys, and walked on his mattress over him to gain access to the rest of the house.

    The intruder ate peanut butter from the jar, pawed through some photos on the table (lingering on one of my second cousin's mother in a bikini), and I think stole some wine or something. He then got startled by someone in the household waking and ran back out over the Mattress and out over the balcony while screaming and shouting occurred, at which point my second cousin finally woke up.

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    How do you know he lingered?

  • SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    I've got a four-cell maglite and swinging that mother is no joke

    I had a five-cell when I did pizza delivery (my two stays in the house for power outages) for the last year and a half or so I worked there. People I worked with were surprised I didn't keep one of those... whatever they're called, that ball tipped thing a few posts up, until I showed them that maglite.

    aTBDrQE.jpg
  • TurambarTurambar Independent Registered User regular
    But that doesn't look like it multipurposes as a flashlight at all.

    It also doesn't look very heavy. I need something I can operate like a baseball bat because at least I am familiar with how baseball bats work.

    Those can crack concrete but stick with a Mag Lite.

    Light + Beatin' Stick
    Yeah, don't disregard the light
    If it's dark and you flash a maglite in someone's eyes they won't won't be putting up much of a fight

    Steam: turamb | Origin: Turamb | 3DS: 3411-1109-4537 | NNID: Turambar | Warframe(PC): Turamb
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    Skeith wrote: »
    Shorty wrote: »
    I've got a four-cell maglite and swinging that mother is no joke

    I had a five-cell when I did pizza delivery (my two stays in the house for power outages) for the last year and a half or so I worked there. People I worked with were surprised I didn't keep one of those... whatever they're called, that ball tipped thing a few posts up, until I showed them that maglite.

    it's called an expandable (or collapsible) baton

    you'll also hear them called ASPs, which is a trademark like Velcro or Band-aid

  • SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    All I remember is one of my coworkers was bragging when he got a lead tip for his (used to be steel).

    aTBDrQE.jpg
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    How do you know he lingered?

    dna evidence

  • LegbaLegba He did. Registered User regular
    edited December 2012
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Have you considered that this guy might be Kai Leng

    Shoot to kill.

    Legba on
  • NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    Oh my God that YouTube video of the creeper

    I'd never sleep again if that happened to me

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  • FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    How do you know he lingered?

    dna evidence

    Actually, just good old fashioned fingerprinting. That was the one that had about 5 times as many little peanut butter marks as all the rest.

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
This discussion has been closed.