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someone broke into my house and drank my soda
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we used them in embassy security, they are light but strong, we weren't allowed to hit anyone in the head, neck, or joints cause with a decent amount of force you could break something on them / cause brain damage.
plus they collapse into a nice little palm size thing and can be expanded really quickly when needed. Much better than carrying around a big heavy flashlight.
Steam
those things hit like a goddamn truck
Also illegal in some states.
Us humans pretty much have bashing things with a lever in our DNA, if your arms work you are good to go
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
Demanding that they pick up that can just comes so... so naturally
and you have the whole thing where you snap it out and looks intimidating as hell, like racking a shotgun
plus the ladies love it
I uh
I think you're using it wrong
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Man that sucks, I'm amazed they were chilled enough to take the time to drink your soda and drop it (maybe making a noise?).
Rock salt
but even this person was not desperate and crazy enough to take more than one sip of your soda
Have you met many mentally-unstable people? The intruder probably couldn't even process most of what they were doing and likely grabbed the can in the fridge thinking it was alcohol, only top spit it out and throw it when the beer tasted like sugar.
There is also the chance they were having an argument with the pink aardvark who lives in their ear canal and threw the can to shut them up. Maybe both!
http://youtu.be/0sPVEBAtwmg?t=3m8s
and then
woken down
Those aardvarks are always starting shit.
Are you sure it wasn't a bear? Scatter some bear traps around to keep the rest out.
If you can buy them, then the dystopian future is now. A terrible future filled with bears.
Those can crack concrete but stick with a Mag Lite.
Light + Beatin' Stick
These are both terrible ideas.
They sure aren't light beating sticks though. Put some batteries in em and they get heavy
Someone saw the open door, climbed up the one or two storeys, and walked on his mattress over him to gain access to the rest of the house.
The intruder ate peanut butter from the jar, pawed through some photos on the table (lingering on one of my second cousin's mother in a bikini), and I think stole some wine or something. He then got startled by someone in the household waking and ran back out over the Mattress and out over the balcony while screaming and shouting occurred, at which point my second cousin finally woke up.
I had a five-cell when I did pizza delivery (my two stays in the house for power outages) for the last year and a half or so I worked there. People I worked with were surprised I didn't keep one of those... whatever they're called, that ball tipped thing a few posts up, until I showed them that maglite.
If it's dark and you flash a maglite in someone's eyes they won't won't be putting up much of a fight
it's called an expandable (or collapsible) baton
you'll also hear them called ASPs, which is a trademark like Velcro or Band-aid
dna evidence
Shoot to kill.
I'd never sleep again if that happened to me
Actually, just good old fashioned fingerprinting. That was the one that had about 5 times as many little peanut butter marks as all the rest.