The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Opiate Addiction: PAWS Question
m.brooks42
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hi,
I was wondering if anyone has advice for how to cope with post acute withdrawal syndrome.
Also, how long should I expect to have it? I was an off and on recreational heroin, oxy, vicodin user for 3-4 years then had an addiction to smoking heroin that lasted for for 3 months. I have now been 100% clean for 7 months and the end of December will be my 8th.
I was wondering if anyone has advice for how to cope with post acute withdrawal syndrome.
Also, how long should I expect to have it? I was an off and on recreational heroin, oxy, vicodin user for 3-4 years then had an addiction to smoking heroin that lasted for for 3 months. I have now been 100% clean for 7 months and the end of December will be my 8th.
0
Posts
Congratulations on being clean and off all that shit for 7 months. Keep it up.
ok at this point it's not staying off the drug thats hard its wondering when ill feel back to normal. im not really sure what thats like. in the beginning i wasnt aware of PAWS or anything and I thought I should try to get a job right away and all the weak feelings and difficulties i was having just functioning were just because of character defects. then it was like: oh i should be treating this more like i have to rest a broken bone or something and not push myself hard. BUT one of the symptoms i have a looot of trouble with is confusion. so i'll get into spells of just totally being afraid that my family secretly wants me to get a job even though thats not true and that i'm just being lazy and maybe my PAWS is finished. Like i go through spells of getting very worked up, confused, and uncertain, then i calm down after a few hours or a day or two. Soo i basically need like concrete PROOF that I can look to when I'm lost for what I actually SHOULD be doing. How I truly should be treating myself etc and not just what I'm afraid of and caught up with in the moment. make sense?
This statement right here is exactly why you need a support system. Having someone just listen to you when you need it helps, even if a sympathetic ear is all they can provide.
First, the routine thing is key. I didn't feel "normal" again until I had gotten back in to what I felt was a normal routine. Before I was working again, that was getting up at a decent time in the morning, making sure I did any house chores I had, and generally just living by a schedule, just like I do now that I am working again. I'm not sure it has to be quite as rigid as Zeph is saying, but having a schedule and living by it is key. This is how normal people live, and it will help you feel normal again.
Second, come to grips with the fact that like or not, you altered your brain chemistry from all the drugs. I did, and so did you. This means you may need to start doing cognitive exercises to help with the confusion and memory issues. It may sound hokey, but start playing games like Memory or doing Suduko. The brain is a muscle, and a muscle that hasn't been exercised to full potential in quite some time and has been assaulted with foreign chemicals, is going to atrophy.
Third, understand that it's a long process. It's absolutely fucking amazing you've been clean for eight months, but believe it or not, that's not enough time for the brain to fully recover. I didn't feel like I had returned to peek mental efficiency for three years after I had been clean.
All in all, you're doing amazing so far. Keep at it, and understand that what you're going through is pretty much par for the course for recovering heavy drug addicts. That's why recovery is so difficult, because it's not overnight. Even after you've stopped doing the drugs, you're in for months and years of personal hell, trying to rediscover yourself. It's one of the main reasons re-addiction is so common.
so when i am at the grocery store and i start to see everything in a different light as if i am this evil person in a good world and everyone kind of knows it or im afraid they do.. thats just this PAWS junk right? like i know its paranoid now, but it gets so intense. i feel transparent and just so guilty and like such a failure
I don't know anything about addiction or recovery, but I do know about feeling like people around you notice and judge you... rest assured, no one notices you. Even to people you talk to, like cashiers, you are barely a blip on their radar. Try and think about how much you really notice other people, and recognize that's they same amount they notice you.
Also, good job on getting clean. Even the steps you've taken so far are pretty huge ones.
Just out of curiosity, are you currently seeing a therapist? The emotions you're describing: feeling like an "evil person in a good world" and "awful guilty emptiness" - just IMHO I think those are common things for a lot of people to feel, often (but not exclusively) particularly for people recovering from addiction, and those are exactly the kinds of feelings that cognitive behavioral therapy can help with.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
i'm kinda scared at times to go outside because my mind is so unsure and confused sometimes i just freeze up inside