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This Is The End My Friends (56k will perish with the unworthy)

Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choicesRegistered User regular
edited December 2012 in Social Entropy++
Armageddon-poster06.jpg

Very soon, the end of days will be upon us, and not even Bruce Willis can fix things. Will the world be destroyed in a fiery cataclysm or will it be something more esoteric, like a swarm of giant wasps? The Mayans knew this and carefully inscribed their knowlege on a big rock. And as everyone knows, big old rocks are famous for their ability to predict the future.

It's important to know the signs of an Apocalypse to determine if you are actually in one. Here are a few common things to look for:



#1. Statues of Liberty: This is a very good sign that you've been in an Apocalyptic event. In many occasions, the helpful presence of one or more Statues of Liberty will be buried to let people know that things are really bad now.

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#2 Mutants: While not every Apocalypse has mutants, it's usually good form to have a few around. These mutants may vary, from your future harmless best friends to flesh eating abominations. Be sure to find this out before opening your bunker up.

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#3 Sports Attire: When exploring the bleak surroundings of the near future, be on the lookout for this as a fashion trend. Be warned, though, the people wearing this gear may not actually be athletes, so don't expect them to be excited should you suggest an impromptu pick up game.

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#4 Strange Vehicles: The presence of strange vehicles is a good sign of any Apocalypse. Look for anything with an inordinate amount of spikes and metal plates attached. Large unwieldy guns are an excellent indication that you have an Apocalypse vehicle on your hands.

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#5 Lone Wanderers: Somehow, an Apocalypse seems to bring out the lone wanderers in droves. Should you see a lone wanderer, do not approach them. Every lone wanderer inevitably attracts mutants, sporting gear enthusiasts, or other assorted thugs. They can deal with this, but you have a good chance of becoming a casualty while saving them in some dramatic and heartrending fashion.

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#6 Bikers: The only thing that the Apocalypse brings out more than lone wanderers is bikers. Be sure to watch for groups of bikers enjoying the sunny future roadways. Usually in an Apocalypse these bikers tend to be unfriendly, so caution is recommended.

Remember: very few post-apocalyptic bikers will be participating in charity rides or toy runs, even if they seem to have have toys attached to their vehicles.

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Now that you know some of the common signs of a Apocalypse, feel free to add your own observations for the enlightenment of everyone here. Any advice is good, whether it's a way of converting your urine to fresh drinking water, or a family recipe for preparing mutant steak on a tight budget.

Binary Squid on
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Posts

  • Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular
    Another sad fact of the Apocalypse is that any future plans that everyone would have had are now gone in a mushroom shaped cloud. So, what would you have done if you had the time instead?

    Travelled the world?

    Asked out that special someone?

    Erased those pictures you hid, so they won't be laughed at by future mutants?

  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    My prediction: At first it will seem that nothing of consequence happened. Everyone is relieved.

    Then, the camera will fade to a small mountain village, where a woman is giving birth. As she cradles the boy in her arms, the camera will zoom in on his face, as dramatic scary music plays before the scene cuts to black.

    broken image link
    NeoTomaEddyMugginsBucketmanVegemyteA Dabble Of TheloniusDevlin_Dragonuschidona
  • scarlet blvd.scarlet blvd. Bebop Cola Goooood!Registered User regular
    For bein a thread about this 2012 junk, it ain't half bad

  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    My prediction: At first it will seem that nothing of consequence happened. Everyone is relieved.

    Then, the camera will fade to a small mountain village, where a woman is giving birth. As she cradles the boy in her arms, the camera will zoom in on his face, as dramatic scary music plays before the scene cuts to black.
    You are close.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T55ArHjeR1c

    YL9WnCY.png
  • Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular
    My prediction: At first it will seem that nothing of consequence happened. Everyone is relieved.

    Then, the camera will fade to a small mountain village, where a woman is giving birth. As she cradles the boy in her arms, the camera will zoom in on his face, as dramatic scary music plays before the scene cuts to black.

    Does the baby have any obvious differences, or are we going with the classic antichrist theme?

  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    My hope is that there's a milliner who's really sure the apocalypse is going to happen and decides to give away all of their stock (to me).

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
    Slacker71
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    My prediction: At first it will seem that nothing of consequence happened. Everyone is relieved.

    Then, the camera will fade to a small mountain village, where a woman is giving birth. As she cradles the boy in her arms, the camera will zoom in on his face, as dramatic scary music plays before the scene cuts to black.

    Does the baby have any obvious differences, or are we going with the classic antichrist theme?

    And that baby was Barack Obama

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Do you think it's trademarked?Registered User regular
    I find apocalypses have a tendency to drop literacy rates and cultural understanding something fierce.

    Keep a stockpile of travel brochures, childrens books, and pop culture detritus to ensure cult leader status in the immediate aftermath. Decide quickly, before all the good ones are taken. You don't want to be the jerk telling your foes to beware the wrath of the great god Betsy Wetsy, do you?

  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    My prediction: At first it will seem that nothing of consequence happened. Everyone is relieved.

    Then, the camera will fade to a small mountain village, where a woman is giving birth. As she cradles the boy in her arms, the camera will zoom in on his face, as dramatic scary music plays before the scene cuts to black.

    Does the baby have any obvious differences, or are we going with the classic antichrist theme?

    You'll have to wait until next week to find out!

    broken image link
  • Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular
    With Pacific Rim, I'm holding the outside hope of giant monsters being the method of destruction.
    TheStig wrote: »
    And that baby was Barack Obama

    If Obama isn't crushing the armies of humankind with his vast antichrist powers, he's not doing his job properly. It's like I don't know him at all these days. What happened to the tyrannical superbeing I was promised?
    facetious wrote: »
    My hope is that there's a milliner who's really sure the apocalypse is going to happen and decides to give away all of their stock (to me).

    Yeah, a fire sale like the year 1000 sadly will never happen again. But, on the positive side of things, with all the bunkers being built, there's going to be some really cheap underground homes coming up for sale.

  • Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular
    edited December 2012
    So, you need to prepare for the end: it's approaching like a herd of tourists on a Vegas buffet, and you don't want to be the shrimp entree.

    But what can you do to preserve yourself from this tragic fate? The answer is obvious: build a bunker.

    Now, you might say; "Hey I have no experience building bunkers, and furthermore, my hands were lost in a freak badger attack. How can I build a bunker?"

    Have no fear, oh handless one. The bunker market has you covered, as I will now demonstrate.

    The first category of shelters, is the underground bottle approach. This type of shelter is completely premade and often is fully furnished ahead of time. All that needs to be done is to bury the sucker and move in.

    Come, then, and journey into the future.

    The future of the Apocalypse. Woooooooooo!
    9MERR.jpg


    Once your shelter is buried, you need to make sure that the wandering hordes outside can't find the way in. the hordes are very persistant, so you can camoflauge the entrance to look like something nobody would want to go near. Maybe a life sized replica of Mel Gibson?
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    Watch that first step, hahaha!

    No, really, without medical care, you'll probably die, so don't fall. While the staircase pictured here is a manual type; automatic versions can be installed in case you need them.
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    Personalizing your shelter with a welcome sign is a nice touch. Be sure to bring it in when the Apocalypse starts, or you'll end up confusing the hordes outside.
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    The right furniture and flooring is essential to the shelter experience. Wood is always a popular choice, and has quite the advantage over dirt models.
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    There's no reason why the Apocalypse has to have bad memories. Think of it as a family bonding moment.
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    Eventually, you'll need to see what your future mechanical overlords desire from you. A television provides the means with which they can do this.

    Remember: turning your television off during a broadcast is a crime punishable by death or exile to the flesh mines. Don't be that person.
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    Lastly, venturing into the future world can only get more difficult if you happen to smell bad enough to repulse even the mutants. For their sake, any good shelter has the facilities to keep survivors clean and edible.
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    Now that you've seen the bargain bunkers, we can look at the more expensive ones. Built by people who consider bargain bunker dwellers to be amateurs in the living business.

    Binary Squid on
    Tommy2HandsMKRBrovid HasselsmofOdin
  • Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular

    Yup. The Apocalypse is delayed until further notice.

  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Yeah everyone believes in the end of the world until I offer to buy their car for fifty bucks.

    TheySlashThemMKR-Tal
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    You should see the people I work with. they run around claiming a planet is comming to floods to hellfire and everything inbetween is comming this week.

    I have been telling them I sure could use a vacation from here when they say those things

  • TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
  • Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular
    isn't the 21st when @crwth is unbanned?

    Yes. The time of the crwth draws near.

  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    isn't the 21st when @crwth is unbanned?

    He's going to figure out a way to post every single reply he would have posted in the intervening period all at once
    And that will truly be the end
    Of the forums

    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    My prediction: I will resist the urge to strange people many many times in the next few days.

  • XehalusXehalus Registered User regular
    going to be some dumb suicide attempts and some will succeed

    I hate this shit

  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    I LOVE MAJORA'S MASK

    SeriouslyOghulkVALVEjunkie-Tal
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    the concept of limited time in a game entirely focused on exploration was goddamn awful

    BusterKAntimatter
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    the concept of limited time in a game entirely focused on exploration was goddamn awful

    strongly disagree

    VALVEjunkie-TalSwill
  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    If the apocalypse happens I will sadly have never played majora's mask

    MetalbourneHalos Nach TariffJayKaosDevlin_Dragonus
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    I've been playing Fallout: New Vegas and The World Ends With You in order to prepare me for the fashionable apocalypse. The only question is what goes best with a ripped, mud-coated denim skirt: rusty machete, giant wrench, or sledge hammer?

  • SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    Machete. Though it depends on the top, I suppose.

    aTBDrQE.jpg
  • WhytherWhyther Registered User regular
    My mom gave me the down-low on the business going down here when the 21st hits. She has heard this from multiple sources (read: her crazy friends and also the e-mails her crazy friends sent her).

    Okay so the first thing everyone needs to understand is that the world will not end. Everyone will be fine, but there will be a few crazy things that happen:

    The magnetic poles will switch. This will happen literally instantly even though that process normally takes millions of years. This will cause all electronics to switch off because technology is magic and I don't understand the internet.

    It will also make the Earth literally stop rotating. This means that half the Earth will be stuck in night-time and half the Earth will be stuck in day-time. I know what you're thinking, "wouldn't this cause half the Earth to freeze and the other half to boil over?" Nope! it will just be like a really long day/night.

    After 72 hours the Earth will begin rotating backwards and all technology will start again.

    I'm glad that I've been able to clear that up for everyone. You're welcome!

  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    Whyther wrote: »
    My mom gave me the down-low on the business going down here when the 21st hits. She has heard this from multiple sources (read: her crazy friends and also the e-mails her crazy friends sent her).

    Okay so the first thing everyone needs to understand is that the world will not end. Everyone will be fine, but there will be a few crazy things that happen:

    The magnetic poles will switch. This will happen literally instantly even though that process normally takes millions of years. This will cause all electronics to switch off because technology is magic and I don't understand the internet.

    It will also make the Earth literally stop rotating. This means that half the Earth will be stuck in night-time and half the Earth will be stuck in day-time. I know what you're thinking, "wouldn't this cause half the Earth to freeze and the other half to boil over?" Nope! it will just be like a really long day/night.

    After 72 hours the Earth will begin rotating backwards and all technology will start again.

    I'm glad that I've been able to clear that up for everyone. You're welcome!

    god damn it superman, again

    Grey Ghost
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    that sounds fun actually

  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    well I mean if the earth just up and stopped we'd probably all fly off and into space or whatever due to momentum + lack of gravity but w/e

    Whyther
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Well I'm glad I'm not going to boil to death.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    my favorite part of the apocalypse is that there is a huge possibility that mentally unstable people have or will do something terrible directly because of their belief in it

    TheStigIndie WinterWhytherTrippyJing
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    well I mean if the earth just up and stopped we'd probably all fly off and into space or whatever due to momentum + lack of gravity but w/e

    Naw, the earth rotates at just over a thousand miles per hour, but the escape velocity is more than Mach 30.

    I mean, we're gonna die if the earth just suddenly stops. And if you don't you're going to have a hell of a time finding your house.

    But we're not gonna get flung out into space.

  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Yeah rotational velocity has no bearing on gravitational pull.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    But this isn't the space/science thread so w/e

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Oh goddammit. Right after I got out of the bathroom I got my shot and then took the dogs out, and then climbed into bed when I got back. Meanwhile @Yukira has been waiting for me on steam chat.

    Sorry dude!

  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    alright yeah okay

    still don't fancy bein' flung at the speed of the earth's rotation through my wall

  • Virgil_Leads_YouVirgil_Leads_You Proud Father House GardenerRegistered User regular
    my favorite part of the apocalypse is that there is a huge possibility that mentally unstable people have or will do something terrible directly because of their belief in it

    Stresses me out thinking about it.

    VayBJ4e.png
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