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Getting my Mom two dogs (update Dec 26)
Taphouse
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
(revised OP) So my Mom is alone, getting older, and lives in the middle of nowhere - I think my family is going to get her a couple dogs and a security system if we can.
This will be with her permission of course.
The question is the best way to go about doing this. She's not very good about training, so I'm basically looking for the most low-maintenance/friendly breed. Also needs to be short hair. Us kids are mostly still in school so we don't have much money either. Would the dog pound be a good option? Do people sell older, more mature/trained dogs for reasonable prices?
This will be with her permission of course.
The question is the best way to go about doing this. She's not very good about training, so I'm basically looking for the most low-maintenance/friendly breed. Also needs to be short hair. Us kids are mostly still in school so we don't have much money either. Would the dog pound be a good option? Do people sell older, more mature/trained dogs for reasonable prices?
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Having said that, and as much as you want to take care of her, it is NOT solely your prerogative to make her happy. She has a process she's going to need to go through, and while most sons would try to be around and keep her company as much as possible while she's struggling through a tough period, dropping out of school is NOT THE ANSWER.
She's a full grown woman, she doesn't need baby-sitting. Have the well-off brother get a security system fitted to her home, and the rest of you can band together and get her a nice Golden Retriever or something to keep her company. Make time to go see her as often as you reasonably can, but whatever you do, don't abandon your own growth and development to try and cheer her up.
If she's a good parent, that's the last thing she'd want you to do. Just be a good son and drop by when you can. Try and point her in the direction of local groups where she can meet new people and make new friends? Book clubs, art school, yoga studio, dance classes etc. etc.
Get her a dog, in fact, get her 2 dogs.
LoL EU West nickname: Irridan
I feel like a house alarm is some peace of mind that is not unreasonable, though. If she has church friends, maybe suggest she host one of the churches internal groups (if they have a knitting club or anything) at her place. If you don't call her regularly, set up a time when you skype once a week. If she doesn't have a device for that, pull in with your siblings to make that happen.
My mom / dad / aunts / uncles spend a lot of time on Facebook pretty much discussing shit, sharing pictures / recipies, playing Farmville and other games, other old person internet shit. I think it's funny because they probably spend more recreational time on the computer than I do.
Depending on how many of her friends and the rest of your family she can communicate with on Facebook (don't discount the great-aunt / uncles and cousins you've only seen once or twice in your life, either) that may help address some of her social / isolation problems. It's not for everyone, but it might be worth a try.
Getting some motion detector lights, an alarm system, and maybe one of those medalert pendants probably wouldn't be a bad idea though.
Bettas are a common choice.
In college I had a lot of luck with a blue crayfish. I was going through some shit and that little bastard really helped keep me going. Tough as nails to kill, took a power surge while I was away for a week destroying his filter to take him down. Surprisingly handsome in that color, too.
THAT SAID, ymmv.
His Mum needs to get out of the house more, and meet new people. Socialisation will help her feel much much better, and plenty of time with the family will be good there too. She'll probably need some pushing and prodding to get out and about, but persevere.
She kinda needs both.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
No, getting a dog out of the pound for someone who may or may not be able/want to care for it is no better or worse than buying from a breeder.
Sounds like you really want to help your mom and that's great, but find out if wants a pet first - for their sake and hers.
That said, if you do decide to adopt, I'd recommend checking out the pound. There may be some older, trained dogs in there that were given up due to circumstances their original family couldn't control (move to a dog-free home, etc.).
I know your family wants to help, but try not to be selfish about it in an attempt to ease your guilt that you personally can't spend more time with her.
This sets off a huge red flag for me. Its not like easy to care for breeds don't exist, but with bad training any dog will become a hassle. If shes never had a dog before, or if she has that perception that tiny dogs can be treated like babies, you may end up with some nippy little monsters. Friendly may be inherent to a breed, but well trained isn't. If you aren't confident that she can provide consistent training, I would not do this. Even if a dog is easy, they flourish best under consistent positive reinforcement, and an owner who understands they just cant tell their dog to do things in English and then yell at them when they don't understand.
I realize that this may come off as "crazy dog enthusiast" shit, but, two dogs with no training is a hassle, and depending on their size, a danger, to your mom. You can easily undo training if you lack consistency too, if your mom gives the dogs no structure at all, so even an older mild dog may not be as obedient in that particular situation.
I love dogs and think they are great pets, but they aren't for everyone and I've met a lot of piece of shit little dogs with no training. Just don't add stress and dog poop to your moms life without major forethought.
I suppose cats would be a much better option, but she's allergic to them.
Pets in general are work. Cats are more self-sufficient, but still work. Dogs require more attention and work.
The whole point is to keep your mom active with the dogs! She isnt big on training because she was always home to do it before.
So when you get her a dog - get her interested in training. The ENTIRE point of this exercise is to give her a task - that task being TAKE CARE OF THIS SMALL LIVING THING.
Its very rewarding, and I think she knows how its done - she got you guys out the door with all your limbs attached.
Not everyone is suited for having a pet, They are a lot of work and dumping one (or two) on someone who may or may not want it is not fair to anyone. Again, it's a thoughtful idea but probably not a good choice in this case.
OP - two dogs aren't quite like two cats since cats can stay inside, having two is nice to give them someone to play with. Two dogs means two dogs to walk, feed, let out for poop, etc.
If it wouldn't be a surprise you'd probably be better off discussing it with her rather than the internet. You have mentioned it to her, right?
Whenever I see people walking two dogs together on the street I see people having difficulty controlling them. People can't give their full attention to more than one dog, and they seem to egg each other on to be more aggressive.
I see where you are coming from, but, she works full time, and we aren't really sure how much care and interest she has in the dogs. bestowing dogs on someone and having them learn the task of taking care of a dog is great for kids to learn responsibility, but not necessarily for older ladies with health issues who have a full time job.
I'm not really trying to convince him that his mom cant be a dog owner, but I think it requires slightly more thought than "we want to give our mom some dogs, and she agreed to it because it sounded nice." The point is getting him and his siblings to look critically at that situation, before they potentially make some annoying problems for their mom.
I certainly wouldn't recommend a puppy either, they require constant attention
Also, be careful picking a dog based on breed temperament. Breed temperament is a guide line, not a fact. I'm a huge corgi lover, and there is a particular corgi temperament line that I prefer....but not all corgis have that trait. As calm, cool and give no fucks as my two males have been, I've seen plenty of corgis that are high strung and yappy. Each dog has a personality, just like a human. Your mom needs to meet and interact with ANY dog she gets. None of this surprise stuff. Total failure in the making.
I wouldn't just get her permission on this, I'd make her a huge part of going out, looking at the dogs, meeting them, and deciding which one to get based on her interactions with them. Like other people have said, breed standards are not guarantees, so having her spend some time with potential dogs will tell you guys way more than looking at books or articles online or watching Dog Whisperer or something.
Also, two kittens = less work. Two dogs = a ton MORE work. Really, really would recommend AGAINST getting two dogs.
If you're looking for a low-maintenance, lazy dog, try a retired racing greyhound. Yes, they are lazy. On the racetrack they are kept in crates and only let out about twice a day. However, I would not trust one around small animals (cats, ferrets, squirrels) and they must never, ever, ever be allowed off-leash except in a fenced area. They are also pretty healthy.
Even an extremely low maintenance pet like a big, fat, lazy Tabby still needs more or less total buy-in from the owner.