The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Dealing with Alcohol
Arson Welles
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hi H/A.
I think I might have a problem with alcohol. Or rather, I have a problem with the amount of alcohol I ingest.
I don't drink everyday, or really feel the need or urge to drink. I like to drink, and when I do, I usually get drunk. This doesn't seem like a huge deal to me, and when I look at my friends, it mostly seems to mirror what they do.
Now, where the problem lies is that when I DO drink, I never seem to have an off switch. I never get to that point in the evening where I realize that I have had a good amount of drinks, that I am having a good time, and now would be the best time to stop drinking, or at least dial it back. And this is when I can be a dick.
It doesn't happen all the time, or even most of the time, but occasionally, when I get pretty ripped, I am the silliest of geese. I don't like that part of me, and I try not to let it out, but sometimes it does. I hate it when this happens. Nothing usually comes of it because I have the best friends in the world, but I don't want to push that, and I don't want it to be a defining character trait. I also don't really get hung over at all, so that's not even a deterrent.
I'm looking for a method to just get a little squiffy. Not blasted. I don't want to give up drinking entirely, because as I said, most of the time I have a good time, and things don't happen. Any advice for me?
I think I might have a problem with alcohol. Or rather, I have a problem with the amount of alcohol I ingest.
I don't drink everyday, or really feel the need or urge to drink. I like to drink, and when I do, I usually get drunk. This doesn't seem like a huge deal to me, and when I look at my friends, it mostly seems to mirror what they do.
Now, where the problem lies is that when I DO drink, I never seem to have an off switch. I never get to that point in the evening where I realize that I have had a good amount of drinks, that I am having a good time, and now would be the best time to stop drinking, or at least dial it back. And this is when I can be a dick.
It doesn't happen all the time, or even most of the time, but occasionally, when I get pretty ripped, I am the silliest of geese. I don't like that part of me, and I try not to let it out, but sometimes it does. I hate it when this happens. Nothing usually comes of it because I have the best friends in the world, but I don't want to push that, and I don't want it to be a defining character trait. I also don't really get hung over at all, so that's not even a deterrent.
I'm looking for a method to just get a little squiffy. Not blasted. I don't want to give up drinking entirely, because as I said, most of the time I have a good time, and things don't happen. Any advice for me?
Arson Welles on
0
Posts
Also, having a ton of carbs a few hours before the drinking begins generally gives you better fortitude, you won't be getting as drunk as fast so you should be able to keep your wits about you.
I know when ever I've gotten asshole/super sick drunk it's because I didn't eat dinner and drank waaaay too much waaaaay too fast.
If you get to that point and say "nah", maybe you need to stop a little earlier so that you do. The thing is, you definitely need to stop before you get to the place where you're going to be a dick if you want to not be a dick. That seems pretty obvious, but my point is that if there's a point in your drinking for the evening past which you aren't going to have the foresight or willpower or whatever it is you need to stop before you're a dick, you need to be able to recognize that and not get to that point at all. It will be a whole lot easier than not being a dick once you're already drunk and inclined.
One thing you can try is alternate a glass of water with your drinks. Or if you know about how much it takes to get you tipsy, set your limit to that and do your best to stick to it. You don't need one after another. That is something I would do when I did still drink.
And maybe one of these nights with your friends, set yourself as the DD. Drive your friends to bars/parties whatever and learn what it's like to be in that situation without doing the drinking yourself. It's a good experience and allows you to watch the kind of behavior you may engage in with sober eyes and ears.
When I switched to almost primarily a beer drinker, I found it much easier to ride that happy medium. Slower intake. I order beers I know I'll enjoy rather than swill I want to chug. My dark evenings involved rounds of shots and oversized mixed drinks.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
Yeah that was going to be my advice. Not to say you can't get blasted on a fine cocktails as well (assuming you have the cash) but look for craft or other interesting drinks to enjoy instead of just drinking. Beer in particular can really slow you down after a few porters or stouts.
Party: Only take as much alcohol as you want to limit yourself to. Only want 4 beers? Only take 4 beers. "But beer comes in 6 packs!" I hear you cry. Do not fear, you can leave 2 in the fridge for another day.
Bar: Limit how much money you take to the bar. (Don't forget enough to cover a cab if there is no public transit/designated driver.) This can be kind of risky because if you spend into your cab money you may be stranded and have to walk. NOTE: YOU WILL ONLY MAKE THIS MISTAKE ONCE.
Of course this all goes out the window if your friends are the type to say "Oh, you're out of booze? Here have one on me!" It can also be tough if your group of friends tend to buy and split pitchers as you may feel bad for not contributing to pitchers after you've had your fill (or when it comes time to divide the tab at the end of the night and don't want to be 'that guy' who refuses to pay an equal share because he didn't drink as much - not that there is anything wrong with that, it can just take a bit of guts to speak up and say no.)
Also just to echo: food and water are key. If I haven't eaten that day and start drinking... 2 - 3 beers and I can start to feel pretty awful. If I'm at a party with plenty of food and water around I can drink fairly steadily through a 6 pack and not feel that bad. Pacing is key too.
I hate to advise anyone to drink light beer but if you're really having a drunkenness problem... switch to lighter beers. If you switch and find it so unbearable that you force yourself to consume it quickly to get it over with and thereby increase your rate of alcohol consumption then try getting into beer tasting. I know it sounds weird but 'tasting' a beer and 'drinking' a beer are completely different. Tasting the beer you want to take it slowly and experience the flavour, drinking it you're using it to serve a purpose (either quenching thirst or becoming intoxicated.)
If you're at a party or you have friends who will buy you a drink even if you don't necessarily want one, try to switch to alcohol you don't really like and make yourself finish that before you move on. If I'm with people who are nosy about making sure everyone has a drink in hand I will switch to beer at that face-tingly point because I hate beer but I feel obligated to finish it before I move on so I nurse it really slowly.
I have found that I can typically have a couple beers, and stop. But once I catch a buzz, I am heading to Wasted town. So for me, I generally drink beer, which I can have more of then alcohol before going over that cliff. Also, I tend to stop at just a couple beers.
As a side note: I used to need to be drunk in order to have a really good time, but that is not the case anymore. And that was a major contributor to the problem.
I am a self-described "seasoned drinker". I, like most people that get to this level and aren't bonafied alcoholics, went through the drink-till-you-turn-stupid phase.
I didn't like it.
So, I did the same thing you are doing right meow. I recognized that I had no clearly defined limitations, and decided to make some for myself.
A few of my tips:
1. Drink slow/ don't chug beer - You're not in a race, and if you are, you probably shouldn't be. Ask yourself "why am I slamming drinks like a college student?". There is no reason for it, and no quicker way to be talking to God on the porcelain phone. If your friends are of the yo-brah-don't-be-a-pussy variety, resist them. Unless you think they are liable to help you when you're passed out as opposed to drawing dicks on your face and posting the pictures online... Also, women LOVE guys that are super wasted /sarcasm
2. Stay away from shots - Do you know what the alcohol content is in a purple titty twister? Neither do I. Shots may be tasty, but they are a crap shoot when it comes to how much alcohol is in them. Also: sugar. High sugar intake leads to terrible, mind splitting hangovers for the most part. Ask heavy wine drinkers about it.
3. Drink good beer - When you sit down with a 24 of budweiser, there is but one goal, and that is to get blasted. People only drink domestic because it's a cheap way to get really drunk. If, for example, you tell me you enjoy the taste of budweiser over an Affligem, then this is probably falling on deaf ears. There are thousands of amazing imported or microbrewed ales, stouts, IPA's... *drool*. Do like I do and fill a basket full of individual or paired beers at the store. It's like taking a vacation with your taste buds.
4. Don't drink liquor unless you know your brand/limit - Some people cannot handle certain types of liquor. I am not a believer in the "gin makes me horny" or "whiskey makes me fighty" mentality. What I do think is that some people can swill certain types quicker, and as they say "in vino veritas". On the flip side, some people get sick much more easily depending what they drink. I'm no bio-chemist, but I've seen a lot of evidence on my own. Another problem with liquour, is that most people start with a 10-90, or a 20-80, and end up with 60-40 right before dive bombing the nearest bathroom. Mixed drinks are usually a waste of money at the bar as well, as you typically will get served less than you pay for.
5. Have a plan - Why are you drinking on any particular event? Is it New Years? Are you on a social outing? A date? Having a plan in place to gauge how far down the rabbit hole you're going might help you monitor your fuel tank throughout the night.
6. Drink beer - Why did I put this twice? Because drinking beer is probably the best way to control how drunk you get. When ingested at a reasonably normal pace, you should be able to gauge rather effectively how shit-faced you are getting. Unless you are genetically pre-disposed to get wasted off next to nothing, in which case maybe abstaining is best.
7. Practice makes perfect - When it comes right down to it, none of this makes a difference unless you can learn from your mistakes. I don't like vomiting, ergo I don't drink to that level anymore. I don't like acting like an ass, so I control how much I drink. Easier said than done, and unfortunately you'll probably have to crash and burn a few times before you really start to learn your limit. However, once you do, enjoying social drinks with like-minded friends can make for a great evening.
Drink responsibly, don't drink & drive, and drink the good stuff
This is potentially very bad advice. A lot (most) of those good beers are much higher in alcohol content than your average domestic. I can drink Olympia all day and night, but a few Firestone IPAs or Double Mountain Vaporizers and I'm pretty well buzzed and on the way to a hangover.
The biggest thing is to pace yourself. Most of the time when people have too much to drink, it happens because they drank too quickly. Had five shots, felt fine, had another beer or two, then all of a stuff was like whoa. So alternate beers with waters, or instead of shots drink lighter mixed drinks. That way the buzz will come on more slowly and you'll recognize how far along you are as you go. If you think setting a hard limit for yourself (i.e. 'not having more than six beers tonight') helps you pace yourself, that might work too. Having a meal with or before drinking will also tend to limit the amount of alcohol you want to consume, since your body will have less craving for calories/salt/etc.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
I agree and disagree with this; it depends entirely on what your goal is when drinking. Drinking "good" beer is what you want to do if you you're drinking lightly just to enjoy it. I am certainly obsessed with stouts currently.
If I plan on drinking a lot, at a certain point when I've drunk enough, I really kind of stop tasting (or perhaps caring) as much as I did at the start of drinking. I personally can't stand the taste of many cheaper beers; however, I think bud in particular just kind of tastes like water after you've gotten going. So I switch to cheap once I've reached this stop caring point as it's just more economical. I kind of feel like it's a waste to keep going with expensive stuff if you're really drunk or just trying to get there.
OP wants to know how to drink and know his limits while doing so. He's not asking how to "drink well" , so staying away from hi-octane beers is probably a good idea.
Beg to differ. Some of the strongest beers we have at my bar go down like water.
If those are water, what is Bud Light? Regardless, and admittedly anecdotal, I don't know a single person that pounds Bell's Two-Hearted or Sierra Nevada Torpedo. I know dozens that treat Miller Light and it's kin like a race to the finish.
Your observation that the stronger brews, in equal quantity, will get a person drunker are pretty good though. Do you tend bar?
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
Yes I do. They're not "water', but we've got an IPA and a pale ale on tap there are both 7%+ that go down smooth as silk.
When I'm out with my buddies I just stick to light beers like Bud Light, they typically have less alcohol than regular beers, and you can drink them all day long and just ride the happy medium. It's not the fact that it goes down like water, it's the fact that you can only take in so much liquid at one time, the less alcohol, the less drunk you'll be.
Now I limit myself to a three drink max and only when there's good stuff around. There usually isn't good stuff around so I drink a lot less. I also don't drink unless I take a cab or ride with someone I'm completely sure will not drink. So with that rule I don't drink very often.
Just set some rules and stick to them. I thought it would be impossible since I'm surrounded by a bunch of college age males who just got back from war, but I did it. Now I feel great and enjoy drinking a whole lot more.
Getting older is your backup plan here. After a while, getting totally shitfaced and waking up feeling like a bulging sack of canal effluent simply loses its attraction, and you dial it back because writing off 2-3 days of misery simply isn't worth it.
Shorter term, all I can suggest is looking out for the plateau. You say you drink to feel good? OK sure. When you feel good, stop drinking.
Identifying the behavior you want to change is the best thing you could possibly do as a start though. I found that after I decided I wanted to tone it down a bit figuring out what situations made me want to drink and not necessarily quitting them but toning it back a bit helped a lot. Setting a time to quit drinking helped me more than setting a number of drinks but I only drink one thing and it's a sipper not a chugger so ymmv.
Setting rules for yourself and sticking to them is the most important thing you can do and when you are out with people and they offer to buy you drinks it's not that big of a deal to kindly refuse them so don't feel bad if you have to do that. If mixed drinks are your thing I'd recommend mixing them the exact same every time, use a measuring cup if you must. I was very surprised to note on a night of drinking how my drinks went from 20/80 to about 50/50 at the end of the night.
Keep a notepad available and log what you drink and how fast you drink it if you can't easily find your own cutoff point. On good nights where you have fun and don't become a silly goose you know how much you've had and can use that as a base point.
Sip, don't chug or gulp. Drinking alcohol shouldn't be the main focus when you're out drinking with friends, the main focus should be hanging out with friends and socializing it up; drinking is just something that happens.
Also, stick to 1 type of drink the entire night. Mixing types of drinks is a sure fire way to end up drunk and/or worse.
I drink liquor and usually on my 4th I know I need to stop, so that is my limit. The first two are there to get the buzz going and open me up more and the last 2 are purely there to nurse the buzz as the night goes on, so I slowly sip the last 2. But when I finish that 4th drink, I don't drink anymore more, it's water for the rest of the night.
Since I limit myself to 4 drink that need to last throughout the entire night, I need better drinks. So I'm drinking less but it's better quality drinks.
You're fine, mostly, and your self-awareness about your binge tenancies seems to be genuine and constructive. I have no doubts that you don't "have a problem" but let's be realistic. You like to drink, and when you do you often "go overboard". You have a few choices as have been laid out before me in the comment stream. The easiest (not for you) is to simply limit consumption. This isn't always an easy task as we often find that "drink more" comes about at the same time when you lose access to the sort of faculties which lead to the limiting.
On this string: I'd suggest drink counting, constant rational query and drinking water between drinks. The problem with the last suggestion is that the "drink more" phase often operates when you're past the "rational" phase.
Otherwise I'll make a controversial suggestion that while you work on the above, you let people know that you want an eye on you. If your drinking is social, let the people you're drinking with know that you're uncomfortable with the pushing and prodding that comes with a lot of drinking and that you're apt to "drink too much". This can be and is, often, really awkward. Just a bit of "I've been disliking who I am when I drink a ton" can work wonders.
Otherwise, either abstain (not yr plan) or deal with it. That sounds harsh, but I can say as someone with a rather nasty compulsive drinking issue that Who I am and what I do is never excused by drinking. I may make apologies or reflect very deeply on my actions, but I, in the end, remain responsible for myself regardless of how awful my blackout was. I'm far from "that bad", now, but it's also just a matter of responsibility and the taking of such when necessary.
I also suspect that there was "an incident" that sparked this post, but that's just me seeing things through my lens. As always, feel free to PM for any reason.
Yeah, I am a firm believer that the alcohol has never made me do anything. I've never tried to blame or excuse my actions while drinking, on the drinking. I know that's me, and not the craft beer fairy goading me into acting the fool. If/when something happens, I've always been apologetic, and never brushed it off with "Meh, I was drunk, so whatever man."
There wasn't an incident exactly that sparked this, more of a "I looked back on my year, and found one or two spots where I was El Douche Supreme". I appreciate all the advice so far!
Also, NYE was fine, 1:1 water to beer worked out just fine.
The problem usually isn't your own choices though, it's almost always the bastards you're out with. Many times I've been bought shots, bullied into slugging whiskey etc. because of other people. And at some point you have to have the self awareness and willingness to say no. (Note this usually means some other poor bastard has to take your shot, or drink two of them.)
See, I have the opposite issue. Unless I'm drinking a spendy whiskey, it's going down the hatch really fast.