Pooh's Home Run Derby

milk ducks

Would you like to play some baseball, Pooh?

Pooh's Home Run Derby
http://disney.kids.yahoo.co.jp/game/pooh.html

Okay, so this Flash game is kicking my ass. Apparently, it's kicking a lot of peoples' asses, because Pooh's Home Run Derby is gaining serious traction on the interwebs as one of the most frustratingly intense games around.

It is unimaginably cruel.

Let me give you a quick run-down of how this plays out:

You are Winnie the Pooh. Christopher Robin has challenged you to a home run derby! Time your swings and hit the baseballs out of the park to clear the par and progress to the next pitcher!

Make sure to use your upgrade points by clicking the bottom-right icon on the pitcher select screen.

Strength
-Increases the distance you can hit balls
Size
-Increases the hitbox size of your bat (exact translation is, "Meet")
Speed
-Increases the speed at which Pooh can move around on the plate.



This game cropped up recently, discovered on Yahoo! Japan's Disney Kids section, and posted first on /co/.

It is notoriously difficult to complete. Roughly four people have beaten this game (who have posted proof).

Do you remember Spongebob's Boat-o-Cross? Get ready to experience the nightmares of a kid's flash game all over again. Despite a simplistic premise, UI, and control scheme, Pooh's Baseball Match combines the unforgiving and punishing nature of Dark Souls and the bright, cheery imagery of your favorite childhood cartoon about a living stuffed bear in a happy, adversity-free forest.

This is no longer the safe and friendly Hundred-Acre Woods now, however.

You have eight pitchers to beat:

Eeyore: Your first opponent, and the easiest. Standard slow speed throws.
Heffalump: This feisty elephant-monster-thing has barely any telegraph to its pitches, but is still a chump.
Piglet: Pooh's best friend puts on his biggest smile to throw you fastballs. Initially infuriating, but again, a pushover at worst.
Kenga & Roo: Mother and son invite you to try your hand at your first volley of physics-defying throws. Their baseballs will oscillate up and down.

THE REAL DERBY BEGINS NOW

Rabbit: This guy's pitches are as underhanded as his demeanor. Rabbit apparently has the ability to alter the flow of time; his balls will sloowwwwly release from his hand, then speed up to sock you in the gut.
Owl: Remember those kangaroos? Well Owl's pitches will oscillate, too, but horizontally. The unpredictability of your hit direction makes this a frustrating battle.
Tigger: I hope you brought some lube, because this crazy striped predator is about to wreck your shit. Tigger's throws will disappear about five feet from the plate. You absolutely need to master your timing to pass this boss.

And then there's Christopher Fucking Robin:



Do you remember Piglet's fastballs? Kenga+Roo's sin-function balls? Rabbit's slow-then-speedyballs? Owl's oscillating pitches? Tigger's invisibility powers? Of course you do. What you don't remember is each of them, with their properties enhanced, randomly selected to let fly at any time.

Do you think you have what it takes to bring this smug fucker down?

Of course you do.

Vic

I could not even figure out Eeyore, but that is a beautiful starting post.

milski

I didn't even know that there were upgrades in this game until I was consistently scoring roughly 20 home runs on Tigger.

I feel kind of badass about that.

EDIT: Also, Rabbit was easier than Kanga and Roo, in my opinion, since his pitches were basically all the same speed (even if it was the same slow speed and same fast speed); Kanga and Roo was annoying just because it was the first pitcher to have both slow and incredibly fast pitches randomly.

cooljammer00

Not sure why this game is blowing up, or why everyone is playing the Japanese version when there are plenty of sites hosting the English version.

gtrmp

it's no Frog Fractions

BrocksMullet

This is an amazing intro post.

Elendil

can't beat the owl guy all my balls are going fowl

Vic

Elendil wrote: »

can't beat the owl guy all my balls are going fowl

Get out.

Elendil

maybe if i whiff enough on tigger, he'll run out baseballs with cloaking devices installed

milk ducks

cooljammer00 wrote: »

Not sure why this game is blowing up, or why everyone is playing the Japanese version when there are plenty of sites hosting the English version.

Authenticity, man.

cj iwakura

Always makes me happy when my namesake inspires terror in people.

I may try this, but until then, the images will suffice.

Sterica

Hey, so this is not 4Chan and we're not using this thread as an excuse to post memes.

cj iwakura

I'm at Piglet now. I'm so going to regret stepping into this, aren't I?

cj iwakura

Trust your force.



And enter... the garden... of madness.

cooljammer00

Owl is the first one to be kinda unfair and bullshitty. At least the other ones, you can just get good at timing it. With the side to side of Owl's pitch, a lot of it is guessing.

Elendil

i gave up on tigger

it's not that i can't hit the balls, it's that 28 is an outrageously high number to have to hit

i think i topped out around 20

Bendery It Like Beckham

I made it to owl, observation;

Just level strength and "meet" till owl, then pump some points in to speed.

cj iwakura

9 on my first try at Owl. I got 'im.

Bendery It Like Beckham

I've gotten 18 on owl 5 times in a row now

Fireflash

I can't even figure out what kind of timing I'm trying to hit here. Beat the first opponent but I keep whiffing on the elephant. Do I have to click exactly at the moment where the ball is on top of the green circle in 2D or should I try to see where the ball really is in 3D space? (my position on the plate vs the ball's shadow)

Bendery It Like Beckham

2d circle on bat has to line up on the 2d shadow of the ball. you have to hold your click. it's an XY plane, but Y doesn't matter much.

Bendery It Like Beckham

Owl has been dealt with

Fireflash

Bendery It Like Beckham wrote: »

2d circle on bat has to line up on the 2d shadow of the ball. you have to hold your click. it's an XY plane, but Y doesn't matter much.

Ahh thanks that changes everything! Especially holding the click!

Zek

Tigger down, invisible balls ain't shit.

And now I move on with my life.