Just staying friends killing me

Eddard

I have been friends with a girl for over two years and we were very close friends. We used to talk all the time. Gradually i developed feelings for her since i was too accustomed to her presence mentally. But when i asked her out she refused saying she doesn't have that kinds of feelings for me. After that we have had lots of fights but every time after some time or days, she would come to talk saying she missed me a lot and doesn't want to lose best friend like me.
So that's the problem, she wants us to be the friends forever but that is killing me. Please suggest something to me so as what to do in this situation or at least help me get over it.

Godfather

You have to take the walk. She can't expect that kind of deal and you can't expect to take the abuse. It's hell at first but time heals all.

If it's really that taxing on your emotions, make a clean break.

ceres

Stop being friends with her. A friendship is not what you want, and letting her think you're cool with it when what you really want is to date her is dishonest on your part... just like letting you think you had a chance with her when you don't would have been cruel. At this point it is probably best to cut your ties with her and do what you can to move on.

Also, maybe in the future try not to fall for your female friends if you can help it, especially if you're the kind of person who has trouble moving on. It's a really fast way to lose a friend.

Wassermelone

The absolute worst thing you could do is stay 'friends' while still pining for her and expecting to change her mind. You need to either be really completely ok with being an actual friend (because its entirely her right to not want to be anything more than that) or cut contact.

Eddard

Lol i don't what is this if not biggest co-incident.. just got text from her that she is in relationship with someone else !! Thank you guys for all your replies and help...

ceres

Hopefully that helps settle that then. But still. If you think this might come up again, consider taking some time without any contact so you can really get over her.

Zomro

As someone who's gone through pretty much this same situation, I have to agree with you just letting go. When I was in high school, I had feelings for a girl for almost the entirety of my HS life. We were friends but I wanted something more. Suppressing those feelings in the name of friendship was painful, and I couldn't really hide it that well, anyway. I'd get horribly jealous whenever she dated a guy and, in hindsight, was just not a good friend to her. She had to treat me differently from all her other guy friends as to not send the wrong message (or rather for me to not interpret a wrong message) and it just wasn't a good thing.

Eventually I came to the realization that this was not fair, to either her nor me. I hated how I felt around her and I could tell that she was uncomfortable around me. Fortunately, she graduated before me and I ended up dating a different girl, so I was able to get over her. I had to not hang out with some mutual friends (at least not when she was around), but eventually the pain went away. We actually got in contact just recently after almost 8 years and now we have a healthy friendship. I apologized for how I was and it's cool now.

So, my advice is to just cut off ties with her. Don't torture yourself by trying to play friend when you want something more. It's not fair to you or her to do it. She needs to understand that, as things currently stand, you cannot provide her with the friendship that both of you deserve. So, just let her go and you'll get over her eventually. Maybe one day you can be just her friend, or maybe not. You can't concern yourself with "mays" and "what ifs", what's important is preventing any further emotional harm to yourself or to her.

Mitsuo

I've been like that, too, with a friend I had for 3 years but I eventually developed some feelings.
The best thing you can do is just cut ties with her. That kind of relationship can become toxic for both of you, and you surely don't want that to happen....