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College Blues
heybabykannibal
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey Guys,
I'm a freshmen in college and we just started our second semester.
I'm really in a funk. I'm not depressed, I'm quite content, I just don't want to go out.
It makes me feel weird that so many students go out to parties and stuff and I just have no interest. I dont hve many friends here and the ones that i have are very busy and they dont go out much either.
The girls down my hallway don't like me, they're very rude to me & ignored me when I tried to be friendly. They all went out & didn't ask if I wanted to join even though I took them with me once. I'm not hurt by it or anything, it's just rude and snobby.
However, it's not just partying, it's lack of interest in leaving my room in general. Yesterday I didn't even leave to eat, I stayed in all day. I miss my friends from back home. when I was in High school all I wanted to do was go out, but now that I have the freedom to do so I just don't want to. I always feel so tired, I rarely eat...I don't want to be one of those people that stay in a bubble.
I really would like to get out if this mood and enjoy my college life guys, If anyone has any suggestions or advice I welcome you with open arms.
I'm a freshmen in college and we just started our second semester.
I'm really in a funk. I'm not depressed, I'm quite content, I just don't want to go out.
It makes me feel weird that so many students go out to parties and stuff and I just have no interest. I dont hve many friends here and the ones that i have are very busy and they dont go out much either.
The girls down my hallway don't like me, they're very rude to me & ignored me when I tried to be friendly. They all went out & didn't ask if I wanted to join even though I took them with me once. I'm not hurt by it or anything, it's just rude and snobby.
However, it's not just partying, it's lack of interest in leaving my room in general. Yesterday I didn't even leave to eat, I stayed in all day. I miss my friends from back home. when I was in High school all I wanted to do was go out, but now that I have the freedom to do so I just don't want to. I always feel so tired, I rarely eat...I don't want to be one of those people that stay in a bubble.
I really would like to get out if this mood and enjoy my college life guys, If anyone has any suggestions or advice I welcome you with open arms.
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For concrete steps, you could try joining structured activities. But campus mental health resources first, I think.
and don't mind those bitches down your hallway. By junior/senior that alcohol will catch up and make them fat. Then you can get the last laugh at them.
Those symptoms actually sound like depression to me, so that's no good. That said, I was totally there about a year ago (having made no friends, not being interested in partying-- which isn't unusual for me-- etc.) and the number one advice I want to give you is JOIN A CLUB. It's not the beginning of the semester for you anymore, so the clubs have probably already had their semesterly "club days", but you should talk to your campus's student society or whoever it is that would know about events, clubs, or gatherings on-campus so you can join one. Being in at least one club makes an INSANE amount of difference! You usually meet weekly, so there's at least one day of the week where you know you'll be around neat people who share some of the same interests you do. And naturally you can make actual friends from going to the club, which is more likely to happen because you're both interested in the thing you signed up for. The games club I'm in even exists at least half to help facilitate the creation of small groups of gamers (for D&D and the like, which is something I had been interested in but never played). It won't necessarily work out perfectly for you, but in my case I found a truly amazing group of friends this way and I look forward to hanging out with them every week, and it's so much better than the two years before last semester, where I never made any friends at all and was getting really stressed out. I know it can be hard to feel like you have time for this kind of thing with all your homework and stuff, but trust me, taking that time out to be social with interesting people is ESSENTIAL for your mental well-being. You should see massive returns on your actual studying as well, because you'll be able to focus better when you ARE working, and you'll have something to look forward to when you're done with the work!
If you're not ready to go for that, keep in mind that colleges and universities pretty much always have free/cheap counseling services on campus. And heck, even if you ARE ready to go for it, you should still talk to them because it sounds like you are dealing with depression even if you don't feel like you are. You should totally make use of them because this kind of problem is one of the primary things they exist for! (That and helping with homework/test anxiety.) You're not a wuss or messed up for going to see them. If nothing else, you can tell them exactly what you told us and they'll almost certainly be better able to help you figure out what to do than we will.
(Edit: Oh dear, I appear to have done something to concern a certain robot with my post. I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T VAPORIZE ME.
Certainly check out on-campus counseling services, they should be free.
Those girls down your hallway? Fuck 'em. They aren't people you want to spend time with anyway.
Also don't be too fixated on the "typical college experience." You don't need to go to frat parties and binge [like they do in the movies] to have a good college experience. Make some friends, hang out, enjoy your time with [relatively] low pressure.
tldr: go see counseling services on your campus.
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Wow, I really didn't think I was...that's so strange, I feel fine..
But I'm sure consuling will help.
This school is so big it's very hard to find anything. I feel so small.
It could very much be just you being in a brand new environment, with little to no familiar things to hang on to. It sucks, and it's terrible, but it does get better.
My first semester freshman year was terrible. I had a shitty roommate, knew nobody, didn't have anything to do (even though it seemed like everyone else was partying). Looking back at my time at college now? It was awesome.
Just talking to someone, especially someone who is licensed to helped people with it, will certainly help.
Getting out of your funk should be your first priority though. Then you can focus on having a good time.
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2) If you have picked a major, or are inclined towards a major, talk to people in that department about undergrad activities / events they host.
3) Talk to people in your classes. You can make small talk before or after class. If someone says something interesting during a discussion, ask them about it afterwards. Maybe try to start a study group.
4) Second semester freshman year is usually difficult. Coming back from Christmas to cold / wet / dark usually sets freshman off a little bit. Your university health center probably has counseling services, and it's not a bad idea to use them. However, don't think there is necessarily something wrong with you. Plenty of students go through this. So, know that you aren't alone.
5) Spend time in common areas. The lobbies of your dorm, the gym, the library, food areas on campus, perhaps your university has a building for student services with a television lounge room. Hell, even going to a computer lab to use facebook is a step in the right direction.
If you don't hit it off with the girls in your floor...so what? That campus is full of women, most likely more women than men.
EDIT: Also....start some sort of fitness regimen that gets you outside. It will make you feel better and get you out of your room. It can be as simple as some pushups/situps then a 30 min jog.
You're bummed out, so you don't leave your room...and then you're even more bummed, because you haven't left your room. Change up your routine, go explore your campus.
Don't eat dinner alone in your room. It may not seem significant but dinner is a huge opportunity to be social in college. See if there are any religious clubs if you're at all interested in that kind of thing. They should have weekly meals and social events.
The great thing about student clubs is you often spend more time joking around and shooting the breeze than you do getting actual work done.
Maybe you're just feeling down and you don't have Brain Problems, but go to the health center anyway, see what they can do for you. They probably deal with folks feeling down all the time, every year.
I kinda just thought everyone had problems. But nothing really affects me to the point that I would not be able to bear it. It's just that I would like to get out but I just don't.
Everybody has problems, and everyone deals with them in their own way. Talking to someone about them won't make you weak, and at the least it will help you just to hear yourself say it all out loud. If you want go out and put yourself out there and have fun, you have to make sure you're okay with yourself first.
It's awkward at first, but then you meet people who also think the girls down the hall are snobby and boring. So you bond over that and go on to do your own thing.
Stop worrying about "college life," it's not this uniform experience for everyone. It can indeed be very awesome, but I think the culture raised the average expectations so high that it's almost impossible not to be neurotic unless your life is something out of a movie. Also, don't forget college isn't just about going out partying, some people actually do find it intellectually stimulating! If you're not taking at least one class that you love each semester, or are at least very interested in the subject matter, you're doing it wrong IMO. Sometimes it pisses me off that people forget the primary reason they are there --- to learn shit.
Of course I'm here to learn. I didn't have time I even go out last semester but when in free, I should want to go out, right? But I don't.
The key thing is to get out of your room! Nothing is going to change if you keep sitting there
Getting out of your room doesn't have to mean partying. I personally think college parties are lame and crowded and you can't even talk to anyone! But that's for you to decide for yourself. Maybe getting out for you means going to hang out with friends watching a movie or going to a campus event.
Join some clubs for a start. That's the best way to start doing things cuz clubs are always hosting events and they can be really fun! Also, if you've met some people you like starting hanging out with them! Not the mean girls in your halls, forget those girls! Also don't be afraid to take some risks and do things you never even thought about before! Maybe an outdoors club or something like a writing club! College isn't just about learning, its about new experiences and opening yourself up (which I guess you could argue is its own kind of learning)
The point is, you need to force yourself out. Make yourself accountable for going out by telling a friend or club member you're gonna be there and don't flake!! You might also find it helpful to go to your student health center and see one of the counselors.
And you know sometimes you just need some you time and want to be alone. That's totally fine. I live with my best friends now and sometimes I just want to be by myself a bit. But don't let your loneliness keep you in all the time
You can do it!
Thank you so much (: !
I'll try getting out more & looking for clubs!
This, so so so much. Sit next to people you think look interesting and chat them up.
And, if you have a major, start getting involved with your department's student groups.
However, I'd like to add one thing. What does your nutrition look like? I know that my eating habits became total crap when I went off to college, so I'm assuming yours did too. The symptoms you're describing sound to me like there's a reasonable chance that you've got a vitamin D deficiency. You might also be missing other important nutrients, making you feel like crap or at least compounding a crappy feeling.
So, maybe while you're considering everyone else's (perfectly good) advice, pick up a multivitamin, eat plenty of vegetables, and take in reasonable amounts of protein, fat, and carbohydrates (Different people do better on different amounts of each, so experiment a little).
That seems a little unrealistic. It's hard to stay in touch with school friends after everyone graduates and moves away to different states. Just focus on making friends because it's fun.