The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Protection?
AyeJaye
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
A girl I'm going out with is starting to get serious about sex. This would be my first time, and she says she wants me to come inside her. Now, I am all for it, but I am understandably concerned about the possibility of pregnancy. She said she's going to get the morning after pill and such, but that is (from what I have heard) 91% effective. Neither of us are adverse to abortion, but I'd like it not to come to that. What can I do about this to make sure I'm not part of the other 9%?
delicious.
AyeJaye on
0
Posts
"hmmmm, what about the possibility of sti's etc?" the morning after pill is not meant to be used as a form of birth control, it is an emergency contraceptive! Either she should get on the pill or get a diaphragm if she wants you to come in her, seriously man use your goddamn brain
If she thinks she can just pop the morning after pill and go about her biz then she has no fucking idea what she's getting into. That thing will knock a girl on her ass for at least a day possibly more. That alone makes me question her experience and knowledge sexually. I would not under any circumstances do what she wants.
Shogun Streams Vidya
well, you've got a problem here. Either you accept that fair percentage of risk, or you tell her that no condom = no PiV sex. There really isn't an alternative here short of 'get a vasectomy'.
Seems like you need a lot more background on the various methods available. Plannedparenthood.com should cover the bases.
Your girlfriend really has no fucking clue about anything sexual, just wear a condom for pete's sake.
Look, it's your first time so i'm sure you're pretty excited about it. Everyone was. Next time you're out take a look at everyone and think that they all came from two people having sex. You will have sex someday, but you have to look out for yourself. She could be wanting to have a child or wanting to trap you into a relationship by having a child. Once you ejaculate inside of her, it's not like you can force her to take the pill.
Also, you really have to worry about STI/STDs. How many people she's been with, if she was checked out very recently etc.
If you MUST do this then
For the sake of your penis, please reconsider.
I gotta say, its weirding me out too. If you weren't in Canada, I'd just assume she'd received some freaky pseudo-religious garbage in place of sex-ed, but I hear your schools aren't so bad about that as south of the border, so I dunno. Some people are... tactile like that, I suppose, but its still pretty unnatural for a virgin to be so insistent about that aspect of sex. If she's got it into her head that "natural" is romantic or something, its going to be a problem. Especially since if she does get knocked up, since that "natural" thing may rear its head and prevent her from choosing the abortion you currently think she's fine with.
Oh, wait, don't do any of those, they're bullshit, so is having unprotected sex with a girl that sounds like a crazy freak. If she's the type of girl who tells you to "come inside her," you can be pretty certain that she's been around the block. Enough times that an STD really isn't outside the realm of possibility.
Use a condom, pregnancy is the least of your worries.
Or she's just watched too much porn. Guys aren't the only people to get silly ideas about what constitutes healthy sexual expression that way. It's weird that she's asking this, as I've said, but there's no need to get quite as OMG WHORE about it as some of you are.
When he's wandering the streets in a syphilitic-induced stupor, rabidly stabbing random people with a shard of broken glass, won't your face be red.
The morning after pill is a stupid idea though.
Keep in mind some basic facts for you to know. By facts I mean one simple astoundingly basic piece of advice that an astounding number of people don't know.
If she takes antibiotics it's rubbers for you for at least two weeks. Antibiotics stops the pill from working please remember this.
Please.
Satans..... hints.....
lolz!
There's also something to be said for the hypothesis that maybe it isn't actually her who wants this, but that's still irrelevant to the point that spewing vagina dentata all over this thread is a poor course of action
I find it highly unusual that H&A gets so many questions about trying to sort something out such that unprotected sex will not result in conception on the girl's behalf.
I suspect that really the OP wants to do so, and is trying to figure a way that he can suggest to his girlfriend.
Regardless, the advice is the same, unless she goes to her GP and gets a proper long term solution (like the pill, an IUD, Implanon implant etc) then there's nothing to make this any safer. Condom is the way to go, in terms of being the safest as it offers protection from both babies and stds.
And plus, if I'm right, stop being a dick and skin up.
i would think okay maybe shes worried her parents would find the birth control but if abortion is not a big deal for both of you clearly this can't be the case as it isn't really something to shrug off. i'm by no means religious but using the morning after pill or 'hey worst case she gets an abortion' displays incredible immaturity and recklessness on both your parts..
don't do this. You feel GREAT for 5 seconds and then you're all like "why the fuck did I just do that!" and you're stressed until period time.
You're a virgin also... you'd come in like a minute you went in raw.
Just use a condom because you don't sound like you know much and babies aren't all that fun when they're yours.
Is there a better way to "express your love" or whatever notion you guys have that doesn't involve possible chances of STDs, Pregnancy and/or ripping a fetus out of her womb. Just saying...maybe you two can just cuddle instead?
Having said that, you BOTH should go get a doctors appointment together and talk to a real doctor about your options.... there are a lot of things you can do that a doctor could recommend and suggested based on your situation.
Use a condom and get her on real preventive birth control. The morning after pill is more like damage control.
If a girl isn't on some sort of preventive birth control it could be because she wouldn't really mind having you be the dad of her cute little accident.
It's not so much STI's I'm bothered about (most can be treated after an embarassing trip to the docs) especially being I normally know the history of anyone I'm comfortable going bareback with. Besides, how many people wear protection during oral? That can be just as risky.
But for each of the women I've been with, without wearing, they have each been on the pill. The first girlfriend I had was similar in idea to yours, she liked it without condoms, HOWEVER she was on the pill. And believe me, after my first time, even though I knew she was on the pill, I was so worried, so paranoid and so flat out fucking scared about babies that I phoned her every day for more than a week afterwards to make sure she remembered her pill.
Either:
-get her on the pill
-wear a condom
-go for the "coil" or the "cap" or any of the other crazy things women put inside them
-ask her to have that injection in the bum (no, not anal! The anti-baby one)
-ask her to have that implant you can get done (a friend had one under her skin, it made her feel nautious though)
-if and IF it comes to it, and this is a big fucking if, DON'T come inside her. Pull out before you're done. I would never ever recommend doing this as it's nowhere near 100%, and then simply explain to her that you're horribly nervous about babies. But that is an utter last resort if you lose your restraint and actually go ahead.
The morning after bill isn't a backup, it's a desperation tactic. It makes the girl feel HORRIBLY ill throughout the next day (and possibly the day after dependiing on the person). It's meant for someone who's had a drunken one night stand. It's expensive and it's a crap idea.
There are plenty of methods of 'protection' that will still allow you to do what she wants you to do and come out (pun not intended) baby free.
Final annecdote: My friend (Jamie, just to attach a name) had a similar situation, he wasn't a virgin though but the lass he was with wanted him to come inside her. He did. She ended up pregnant and tried to use the kid to tie him in to a relationship he wasn't that serious about. It was a daft mistake on his behalf and completely and utterly changed his life. I'm not saying it was for the worse, but he definitely didn't want a kid at the age of 18.
Just think it through.
PSN: SirGrinchX
Oculus Rift: Sir_Grinch
The "withdrawal" method is actually far lower with estimated success rate than it actually carries
Precum contains no sperm, but the walls of the urethra can have little hangers-on from a previous ejaculation that can get mixed up in the precum.
The main cause of typical use failure of withdrawal is the inability to predict just when an orgasm will occur, or "holding out" for a few more seconds of thrusting.
Perfect use of the withdrawal method is relatively good, if you're good with it. Combine this with a Nuva Ring, cervical cap, Diaphrapm with spermicide and/or Fertility awareness and you'll be pretty well-off. Add Birth control pill and you're VERY close to 100%
I think that's the issue, or you get carried away and too excited and figure "fuck it!".
Also, OP is a virgin, chances are there won't be much chance TOO pull out.
No offence meant, it happens to most of us
(not me though, I was a stud!!! **looks sheepish and is glad 1st gf doesn't post on PA**)
PSN: SirGrinchX
Oculus Rift: Sir_Grinch
*NOTE THIS IS A LIE
teehee
anyway, I pulled out on my first time, I can safely assume others can too
If that's a non-starter (ie she absolutely refuses) then think about whether this is someone you want to be having sex with at all.
Assuming the answer is "yes please" then A) Get both of yourselves tested for STDs beforehand -- it's your first time, you think it's her first time (and she's taking your word for it that it really is your first time, too) and
Don't take half-measures on this -- it has the potential to haunt you for the rest of your life, and make your first sexual experience a really negative one. Also, as has been mentioned above, the morning-after pill is not a good method of contraception. If nothing else, you don't want your partner feeling like she's been run over by a truck for three days every time you have sex, do you?
P.S. -> If you manage to convince her to use a condom, for God's sake use it right.
Condom please.
everything worked out alright but i would probably attempt to prevent that from happening again in my own life if i could. the number of people i knew at the time that it didn't work out for is staggering. i assume i simply can not conceive...
i always want to double any amount of BC. that would be my advice.
pleasepaypreacher.net
STIs as in STDs? I ain't no doctor, but there are STDs that are incurable... meaning "an embarrassing trip to the docs" isn't going to fix it.
also the other way I understand it is that penis/vagina sex is more risky then penis/mouth sex. Things like teh aids travel quicker though the vagina then though the mouth. At least that's the word on the street.
I don't know how someone would make it through that much school and not know that that is a good way to have sex as long as you want to end up pregnant.
Yep, there are, but the more common ones are treated via a trip to the docs. Incidentally I don't tend to worry as I said above, I know the history and personally only do it occasionally.
I think the whole protection thing is a lot more relaxed in the UK (not saying it should be), an awful lot of women just go on the pill and see that as it.
PSN: SirGrinchX
Oculus Rift: Sir_Grinch
re: thread
Known plenty of girls who get off on you coming inside them, it's not a myth. Still a bad idea.
Conspiracy theories about trying to trap you into pregnancy on here are woefully exaggerated, especially if you are from the late-teen-middle-class-aspirational background I suspect. Still a bad idea.
Much, much more fun. Still a bad idea.
Wear a condom. If you want to have more sex, getting started now is a good idea. Getting started now will also stave off various bareback vs condom performace issues later in life. Otherwise, the pill (standard one) is an absolute minimum. The girl suggesting using the morning after pill demonstrates that she clearly knows fuck all. Also, she will not thank you if she ends up doing this.
The anal sex suggestion is probably the best one I've seen, but she probably won't see it that way.