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FB: Butler vs Berk
Larlar
consecutive normal brunchesModerator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
consecutive normal brunchesModerator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
Butler
Berk
The stadium was dark and barren
Like the ovaries of Karen
Carpenter; yet this location
throbbed with nameless expectation
Here tomorrow would commence
A battle on a scale immense
‘Twixt one Butler, verbose fuck,
And widdle Berk, the cutest duck.
But in the back row, near the curtain
Sits a man with thoughts uncertain
Fearing, as his face grows grim,
This fight shall be the end of him
“In each round I gave my best,
and each time somehow passed the test
Scrum, Potatoe and Lord Dave
Each rot now in an early grave
But Berk! How can I fight this dude?
He’s eight orders of magnitude
More skilled than I, so sound the gong:
For me it’s death by floppy dong!â€
Then came a “Quack!†A rush of wings
A sense of imm’nent happenings
And from the clouds did Berk descend
His sharpened beak agape to rend
Yet Berk gouged not young Butler’s eyes
Nor shred his scalp to shoestring fries
He merely settled at his feet
And spoke with voice both high and sweet:
“I’ve not the time for Grande Royales
I draw; I don’t do carnivals,
So let us end this grudge tonight
With no one else to see the fightâ€
What choice had Butler? He agreed
To play the Rocky to Berk’s Creed
In centre stadium, these Joxers
Squared off like a pair of boxers
But all too soon did Butler find
That Berk’s art was a force divine
No poem, no CYOA
Could stand against his wave of gay
Poor Butler staggered, all but spent,
While Berk gloated without relent,
“Of all the victories I’ve sought,
You are the worst I’ve ever fought!â€
A gleam appeared in Butler’s eyes
The kind that shines when mercy dies
“The worst?†said Butler, “Oh, my dear,
I’m sorry, but you’ve no idea!â€
“You think that this is bad? Well fie!
I’ve not yet started not to try!
Now with these words shall you be smitten:
The worst fan-fiction ever written!â€
most uLTIMATE POKEMON SUPER TEAMUP
It was the year 35698 AD and ash Ketchum was wandering through the grass around Pallet town and Pikachu was with him too when suddenly they saw a new pokemon it was Mewthreehundred “let’s go†said Ash and Pikachu started to fight but he tripped on a branch and Mewthreehundred started to power up his megabomb attack which only he can do but ash jumped in front of Pikachu at the last second and it bounced off his hat because his hat is inoerganic and Mewthreehundred is week to pollyester
(Eurgh what the fuck Butler.)
but Mewthreehundred had another attack called eyelaser that is completely deadly and he started shooting beams at ash and pikkachu they huddled together and hoped he would keep missing but just then a strange manappeared his name was Goku
(No!)
and he said “MEWTHreehundred do you think you can get away with this? when I am so powerful! KAMEHAMEHAAAAAA!†but mewtheehundred just doged it and shot back with even more power
(What? No! WHAT?)
so Goku smiled “Well that’s all fine for you but I’ve got a freind I’d you to meet his name is Tealc and he is a Gould
(The canons! The canons!)
so just then Tealc stepped out from behind a tree where he had been hiding th whole time “Indeed I shall defeat you Mewthreehundred my symbeote is the greatest pokemon of all a carebear†and he shot a love beam out of the heart on his stomach
(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAquackAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
but Mewthreehundred still wouldn’t die so it was time for Ash, Pikachu, Goku and Tealc to summon captin pla
“Stop!†Berk cried, “Enough! I quit!â€
His beak frothed in a rabid fit,
“I give in to your double-Dutch -â€
“The fanboyism’s just too much!
“But never cross my path again,
or else you’ll face my “mighty penâ€!â€
At that, he took off in a scurry
Tail askew and wings a-flurry
Butler sighed. ‘Twas bittersweet:
A victory won and none to see it!
But – hello! What was this he’d found?
A handsome feather on the ground!
Said Butler, “Berk, while fanfic-ill,
Has furnished me a groovy quill!
From this, my master-work* shall font -
‘Tis fine a trophy’s I could want.â€
THE END
*
Like the ovaries of Karen
Carpenter; yet this location
throbbed with nameless expectation
Here tomorrow would commence
A battle on a scale immense
‘Twixt one Butler, verbose fuck,
And widdle Berk, the cutest duck.
But in the back row, near the curtain
Sits a man with thoughts uncertain
Fearing, as his face grows grim,
This fight shall be the end of him
“In each round I gave my best,
and each time somehow passed the test
Scrum, Potatoe and Lord Dave
Each rot now in an early grave
But Berk! How can I fight this dude?
He’s eight orders of magnitude
More skilled than I, so sound the gong:
For me it’s death by floppy dong!â€
Then came a “Quack!†A rush of wings
A sense of imm’nent happenings
And from the clouds did Berk descend
His sharpened beak agape to rend
Yet Berk gouged not young Butler’s eyes
Nor shred his scalp to shoestring fries
He merely settled at his feet
And spoke with voice both high and sweet:
“I’ve not the time for Grande Royales
I draw; I don’t do carnivals,
So let us end this grudge tonight
With no one else to see the fightâ€
What choice had Butler? He agreed
To play the Rocky to Berk’s Creed
In centre stadium, these Joxers
Squared off like a pair of boxers
But all too soon did Butler find
That Berk’s art was a force divine
No poem, no CYOA
Could stand against his wave of gay
Poor Butler staggered, all but spent,
While Berk gloated without relent,
“Of all the victories I’ve sought,
You are the worst I’ve ever fought!â€
A gleam appeared in Butler’s eyes
The kind that shines when mercy dies
“The worst?†said Butler, “Oh, my dear,
I’m sorry, but you’ve no idea!â€
“You think that this is bad? Well fie!
I’ve not yet started not to try!
Now with these words shall you be smitten:
The worst fan-fiction ever written!â€
most uLTIMATE POKEMON SUPER TEAMUP
It was the year 35698 AD and ash Ketchum was wandering through the grass around Pallet town and Pikachu was with him too when suddenly they saw a new pokemon it was Mewthreehundred “let’s go†said Ash and Pikachu started to fight but he tripped on a branch and Mewthreehundred started to power up his megabomb attack which only he can do but ash jumped in front of Pikachu at the last second and it bounced off his hat because his hat is inoerganic and Mewthreehundred is week to pollyester
(Eurgh what the fuck Butler.)
but Mewthreehundred had another attack called eyelaser that is completely deadly and he started shooting beams at ash and pikkachu they huddled together and hoped he would keep missing but just then a strange manappeared his name was Goku
(No!)
and he said “MEWTHreehundred do you think you can get away with this? when I am so powerful! KAMEHAMEHAAAAAA!†but mewtheehundred just doged it and shot back with even more power
(What? No! WHAT?)
so Goku smiled “Well that’s all fine for you but I’ve got a freind I’d you to meet his name is Tealc and he is a Gould
(The canons! The canons!)
so just then Tealc stepped out from behind a tree where he had been hiding th whole time “Indeed I shall defeat you Mewthreehundred my symbeote is the greatest pokemon of all a carebear†and he shot a love beam out of the heart on his stomach
(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAquackAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
but Mewthreehundred still wouldn’t die so it was time for Ash, Pikachu, Goku and Tealc to summon captin pla
“Stop!†Berk cried, “Enough! I quit!â€
His beak frothed in a rabid fit,
“I give in to your double-Dutch -â€
“The fanboyism’s just too much!
“But never cross my path again,
or else you’ll face my “mighty penâ€!â€
At that, he took off in a scurry
Tail askew and wings a-flurry
Butler sighed. ‘Twas bittersweet:
A victory won and none to see it!
But – hello! What was this he’d found?
A handsome feather on the ground!
Said Butler, “Berk, while fanfic-ill,
Has furnished me a groovy quill!
From this, my master-work* shall font -
‘Tis fine a trophy’s I could want.â€
THE END
*
SYNTHETIC ORAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE
THIS MEANS MY BATTLE AGAINST YOOOOOOOUUU
OR POSSIBLY RANEADOOOOOOOOOOOOS
THIS MEANS MY BATTLE AGAINST YOOOOOOOUUU
OR POSSIBLY RANEADOOOOOOOOOOOOS
Berk
Larlar on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
Berk, yes.
I can't vote for berk because he won the time before last.
edit: What is that music from
and once again all is right with the worNOT THE FACE NOT THE FACE
I'm Jacob Wilson. | facebook | thegreat2nd | [url="aim:goim?screenname=TheGreatSecond&message=Hello+from+the+Penny+Arcade+Forums!"]aim[/url]
I need it in my iPod
I guess Butler really was the George Mason of the Forum Battle Final Four
+20 cool points for Wicker Man reference
+100 instant win points for beating Butler in your own entry with a tl:dr counter attack.
-100 instant fail points for Butler for entering text only. =((
I'm going to assume this comment is based off the fact that you somehow missed the first four rounds of the contest.
I didn't
The fanfic was hilarious.
if I wanted to read, I'd spend all day browsing internet forums
Come on! Just look at it!
It was.
I'm voting Butler partly because I want to have been beaten by the best, partly because I want to see the underdog prevail.
Yeah what was I thinking.
I just can't do it.
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
Fuck him Butler, I think all your entries were good and Carnivore's in no position to criticize considering he didn't even fucking try. I still voted for Berk because his was glorious but yours was still great and there's nothing wrong with a text only submission as long as it's creative, which yours is.
You people that didn't even read it are fucking jackasses.
Then he doesn't win.
Do I win?
cool
Thanks Dru, though I was being sarcastic. I mean, fair enough, text entries aren't for everyone, but given what I've won with in the last four rounds, what was he expecting?
I'm voting for Butler.
But I voted for Berk this time.
Also I prefer cartoons to the written word.
I did the opposite.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
I have voted for Butler every round so far
But now, I just don't know
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are