**Narwhal Knight** my new webcomic. Feedback pls :)

brad!brad! Registered User regular
edited February 2013 in Artist's Corner
Hello all,

I'm new to the forum, and looking for like minded artists of webcomics etc to talk shop.

Please check out my new webcomic, www.narwhalknight.com

It's only about 6 pages so far, but I have high hopes for it. Any and all feedback is welcome.

Edit: I just read the rules of the forum, and need to post artwork of the thread would be closed, so here is the first page. Please check out the rest at the url listed above :)
2013-01-25-page1.jpg.jpg

yfsDhx1.jpg
brad! on
Geth

Posts

  • MuddyParasolMuddyParasol Registered User regular
    Welcome to the forum!

    I like the style (I've always been a sucker for heavy black lines). I do have a crit or two: the second panel, though good in it's own right, feels out of place style wise. The other two panels are heavy on thick black lines, but the second one is thin crisp lines. Either style is fine in my opinion, but consistancy is important.

    Also the shadow in the right hand side foreground of the third panel is distracting, I'd loose it. That said, I haven't read the next page so it's possible that that shadow is important to the story somehow, if that's the case ignore my comment and instead make it bigger, more looming so it looks purposeful, not accidental.

    Can you post more of your pages here?

  • brad!brad! Registered User regular
    edited February 2013

    Can you post more of your pages here?

    Can do. Here are the next few pages. And thanks for looking and the great feedback!

    2013-01-27-page2.jpg
    2013-02-01-page3.jpg
    2013-02-06%20page4.jpg
    2013-02-11%20page5.jpg
    2013-02-16%20page6.jpg

    brad! on
    yfsDhx1.jpg
  • MuddyParasolMuddyParasol Registered User regular
    I like this!

    And yeah, ignore my comment about the shadow, it makes sense now that I've seen more.

  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited February 2013
    May I be the first to say that the premise feels a little rip-offy. "An average 20-something Canadian living in a basement apartment likes retro video games and must fight baddies while his friends hash out his dating life" sounds a little too identical to scott pilgrim :/

    I could be wrong, but this was my first impression. Good luck, welcome to the forum and keep it coming!

    ninjai on
  • brad!brad! Registered User regular
    ninjai wrote: »
    May I be the first to say that the premise feels a little rip-offy. "An average 20-something Canadian living in a basement apartment likes retro video games and must fight baddies while his friends hash out his dating life" sounds a little too identical to scott pilgrim :/

    I could be wrong, but this was my first impression. Good luck, welcome to the forum and keep it coming!

    I'd be a liar if I said Scott Pilgrim wasn't an influence, but I am a average 20 something (well, just turned 30 :( ) Canadian living in a basement apartment who likes video games, so I sort of write what I know. I completely understand how you are drawing those comparisons and how you got that impression, but as I move forward I hope to prove that wrong.

    yfsDhx1.jpg
  • brad!brad! Registered User regular
    Oh, and on a side note I know for the majority of American posters Canada is Canada, but within Canada Toronto, ON (Where SP is based) and St.John's NL is about as different as New York City and Prudhoe Bay, Alaska.

    (PS: this is not a dig at Americans, I promise! I sure as hell don't know other country's geography like I know my own.)

    yfsDhx1.jpg
  • franciumfrancium Registered User regular
    I'm always stoked to see some sequential work that has clearly had a lot of time invested in it.

    Prove ninjai wrong about the SP allegations, and stop bad mouthing the yanks all over the place and you will fit right in.

    Your work is good enough for me to let the pro's handle the critiques.
    Keep up the good work brad!

  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    brad! wrote: »
    Oh, and on a side note I know for the majority of American posters Canada is Canada, but within Canada Toronto, ON (Where SP is based) and St.John's NL is about as different as New York City and Prudhoe Bay, Alaska.

    (PS: this is not a dig at Americans, I promise! I sure as hell don't know other country's geography like I know my own.)

    A friend of mine went to school in Montreal, if it weren't for him I wouldn't know anything about Canadia, but he's told me quite about bit about the cultural and political climate. Fascinating stuff. I'd like to visit some day.

    A lot of my favorite music comes from montreal too :)

  • brad!brad! Registered User regular
    I've never been to Quebec, but I agree, some great stuff comes out of there for sure.

    yfsDhx1.jpg
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