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I was riding my bicycle one time down the main drag of my city when I just started vomiting out of nowhere. But I didn't stop riding. I just kept turning my head back and forth. This continued for like, forty seconds. I was a mobile sprinkler of vomit.
And when I looked back on my city street, I wept, for there was no sidewalk left to conquer.
oh my christ
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HunterChemist with a heart of AuRegistered Userregular
until you have witnessed a toddler/baby who is sick, you have not seen the horror that vomit can bring. It approaches people who are drunk, since they'll jsut puke anywhere as they have no real sense of what's going on. But there is also usually zero forewarning, and because they can't understand what's happening, the only goal they know is to eject this material as quickly as possible.
It is the worst.
It's especially bad when every possible ejection port is currently removing any and all possible sources of material that may be causing the problem. Even secondary systems will be used. Puking, nose running with possible puke dribble, pooping, peeing, crying...it's like your precious child suddenly became the world's grossest sprinkler system.
Theodore Flooseveltproud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelodorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered Userregular
One time I was barfing so violently I pulled a muscle in my stomach. That was a double whammy. It hurt so bad to move, I just slept on the bathroom floor.
I've never felt guiltier than when my daughter was 1ish with a stomach virus and saw the goldfish before I had a chance to hide them and we couldn't give them to her because she'd just barf them right back up but she was so upset and gave me the most betrayed look and noise that she ever has.
I will never feel like a bigger shitheel than I did at that moment.
My family went to Ireland for vacation a few years ago, and we stayed in a cottage that had more bathrooms than bedrooms. This was pretty convenient, as my sister and I both had some bad cesar salad and ended up leaking from both ends for a day each.
My friend is working on a roguelike game you can play if you want to. (It has free demo)
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Mx. QuillI now prefer "Myr. Quill", actually...{They/Them}Registered Userregular
edited March 2013
You ever been on a boat filled with ~150 people on rocky early April waves?
There's a reason why they sell Dramamine on those kinds of boats.
Worst waste of 50 bucks ever, should've just went to PAX that day too instead of the New England Aquarium. Although I was the only one to not get sick.
Mx. Quill on
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Tommy2Handswhat is this where am iRegistered Userregular
I think i can control my sense of nausea usually and stop it before it gets to a point where I HAVE to vomit unless I really have been really drinking or I'm really really sick or something. otherwise I just don't ever really throw up
My first time vomiting from alcohol was at a friend's party in which I had far too much vodka, rum, and bourbon, most of it just straight up. I end up passed out on the couch for a while before suddenly awaking to the uncontrollable urge to barf. I hustle toward the bathroom but know I'm not going to make it in time. For some reason a half-filled bottle of coke is in my hand. I don't know whose it was or how it ended up there. I don't even drink soda. Out of consideration I wrap my hand around the neck of the bottle in an attempt to funnel the vomit into it.
As it happens, the volume of puke produced from alcohol poisoning is far greater than half a bottle of coke can contain. The bottle is filled in under a second and half-digested cheeseburger is spraying out from between my fingers and all over my friend's living room carpet.
I don't have any good stories from drinking, but I have one from when I was a kid.
When I was in fourth grade, I lived in the basement of our house and my cat, Petey, slept right above my pillow. Well, I got the flu and woke up having to puke immediately. So I did, all over my pillow and Petey. Then I had to go upstairs and tell my parents that I puked, and puked on the cat. They had to go find the cat because he ran off somewhere dripping vomit. I felt so guilty about that.
I was riding my bicycle one time down the main drag of my city when I just started vomiting out of nowhere. But I didn't stop riding. I just kept turning my head back and forth. This continued for like, forty seconds. I was a mobile sprinkler of vomit.
And when I looked back on my city street, I wept, for there was no sidewalk left to conquer.
oh my christ
It was intense.
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
I learned at one point that blood does not digest. I had broken my nose at a concert and swallowed a significant amount of blood between the break and the surgery to repair it. I was feeling terrible and nauseated, and then it came...
It was a flood of lemon-lime with black, chunky sludge piles of sedimentary blood.
Actually I have three terrible, horrid barf stories for this thread. I'll write them up once I get home. I am not pumping out an essay on this dumb phone.
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
I was once the DD on a drinking outing and everyone had a great time
Until the ride home
My friend had been crushing on this girl that had also come out for YEARS and finally worked up the courage to ask her out, like, a few days ago
so there is little room in my car so people decide to double up - fine, it's a 10 minute drive and if I am caught I am caught
the girl sits on my friends lap
as I am driving I hear my friend ask the girl "Can you just move over a se-" and then what sounds like running, gushing water
the girl screams like a banshee
I pull over and discover that yup, he vomited all over her back, and her hair
She then got out of the car and vomited
All of this vomit made another friend of mine woozy so he opened the door and puked out the side
The girl sitting on his lap FREAKED and started gagging and began puking in the same direction also
The guy sitting in the seat next to me starting screaming "I'M GOING TO BE SICK I'M GOING TO BE SICK" and ran out the door and began puking as he was running to the bushes
So there I am, standing beside my car as 5 people are puking either around it or out of it
and I could not stop laughing
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
oh wait oh damn I already told one of the stories. Happened years ago. Needless to say I had a serious talk to my friend about how the body works after this, Jesus Christ:
So, after the previously mentioned dolphin surfing event, I pop my knee back in place and it is KILLING me. My best friend runs to my side and says "here this will make you feel better!" and hands me an unmarked, clear bottle.
I take a sniff.
Vodka.
I am not that drunk by this point so I figure "sure why not?"
I drink it and I notice that it tastes like toothpaste
Whatever
The rest of that night is gone completely from my memory
Until I got home
You see, what my best friend had forgot to mention was that he had crushed three or four extra strength tylenols in there
I remember barley making it through my front door before this feeling hit me
The worst feeling I had had in quite some time
I manage to dive into the bathroom (it is directly across from my front door) as I start to vomit
Luckily most of THAT puke ended up in the toilet
Then the second wave hit me
Except this time it wasn't going to come out of my mouth
I spin around while ripping off my pants like I am some sort of streaking macgyver
I land on the toilet just in time to begin the craziest case of diarrhea I have had in years
As liquid shit is spewing out of me, I feel it in my stomach again
oh god not now. NOT NOW
Luckily the sink is right beside me and I lean over and vomit into it
so here I am spewing shit and vomit at the same time
and it hurts so much
Finally that wave is over and I flush and begin to clean myself up when I just black the fuck out
I am awoken at 5 am by my mother kicking my foot
I slowly open my eyes
To find that my mother has found her son
Totally naked on the bathroom floor
Lying down in his own puke
with the front door open
and his pants on the front steps
she seemed upset
I slowly get up, still in a drunken haze, and walk outside totally ass naked and grab my pants
I walk back in - still naked, close the door, look at my mom and say
"Trust me this will be hilarious in like a year"
and then collapse and pass out naked on the couch
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
I fancy myself a drinker. I'm also a fairly large man. At the bar I used to work at, I worked with a literal mountain of a man. He was a gentle giant but a devil to drink with.
After work, we make our way to the afterwork party spot and proceed to drink beer and take shots. Then he tells me "let's see how much you can drink", as I was still a relatively new hire.
Well, I don't remember anything past the first bottle of jäger, but apparently the second one did me in. I woke up in the morning with my pants soaked and my shirt covered in vomit, and next to me, another pile of vomit.
So I get up and clean up my mess (still terribly drunk), and later that evening I see the homeowner and inform them what I did, and they replied that they weren't even mad, because I cleaned my mess and they had never seen two people drink two handles of jäger in one night.
One night being around 3:30am-sunrise.
It was horrible. But at least I didn't shit my pants.
diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
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oh my christ
It's especially bad when every possible ejection port is currently removing any and all possible sources of material that may be causing the problem. Even secondary systems will be used. Puking, nose running with possible puke dribble, pooping, peeing, crying...it's like your precious child suddenly became the world's grossest sprinkler system.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
I had one of these perfunctory pukes in college
while drinking and talking on my cellular phone, I was overcome with a need to barf
so found a trash can and barfed, and then continued my conversation. Stomach never felt upset, and I continued drinking as I had.
wasn't even a thing
and when I was at machu picchu I got sun poisoning, food poisoning and altitude sickness all at the same time
that was
really bad
I like not having it anymore.
I will never feel like a bigger shitheel than I did at that moment.
There's a reason why they sell Dramamine on those kinds of boats.
Worst waste of 50 bucks ever, should've just went to PAX that day too instead of the New England Aquarium. Although I was the only one to not get sick.
As it happens, the volume of puke produced from alcohol poisoning is far greater than half a bottle of coke can contain. The bottle is filled in under a second and half-digested cheeseburger is spraying out from between my fingers and all over my friend's living room carpet.
When I was in fourth grade, I lived in the basement of our house and my cat, Petey, slept right above my pillow. Well, I got the flu and woke up having to puke immediately. So I did, all over my pillow and Petey. Then I had to go upstairs and tell my parents that I puked, and puked on the cat. They had to go find the cat because he ran off somewhere dripping vomit. I felt so guilty about that.
Crunch Crunch! Munch Munch! Chomp Chomp! Gulp!
It was intense.
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
It was a flood of lemon-lime with black, chunky sludge piles of sedimentary blood.
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
After work, we make our way to the afterwork party spot and proceed to drink beer and take shots. Then he tells me "let's see how much you can drink", as I was still a relatively new hire.
Well, I don't remember anything past the first bottle of jäger, but apparently the second one did me in. I woke up in the morning with my pants soaked and my shirt covered in vomit, and next to me, another pile of vomit.
So I get up and clean up my mess (still terribly drunk), and later that evening I see the homeowner and inform them what I did, and they replied that they weren't even mad, because I cleaned my mess and they had never seen two people drink two handles of jäger in one night.
One night being around 3:30am-sunrise.
It was horrible. But at least I didn't shit my pants.
puking led to dry heaving which is also fun
One time when I was real little I caught some sort of terrible bug that made me puke and retch so much that I ended up puking so hard I shit my pants
Perhaps you are straining your butthole when you vom
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Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
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Guess who's been barfing again???
It's me.