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[TRENCHES] Tuesday, April 2, 2013 - Starvation
Geth
LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
Starvation
http://trenchescomic.com/comic/post/starvation
Stamper On The Forehead
AnonymousI remember the meeting well, it was just before ‘crunch time,’ and we were all called into a room. On the board was a list of items we could buy with our royalties payout once the game had broken even. On it were purchases such as sports cars, houses and other expensive luxuries.
When we left the room, I noticed how inspired my co-workers were, willing to bleed and give up every weekend to secure that payout. I felt for them as I already knew the reality from a game released months before.
After many overtime hours worked their first payout equalled eighteen pounds and fifty pence.
Geth on
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Ouch, bro. Good line, though.
But fuck you — no, fuck y'all, that's as blunt as it gets"
- Kendrick Lamar, "The Blacker the Berry"
Yeah, I was going to say the same thing. It's pretty much an industry expectation of at least semi-frequent 80+ hour work weeks, and since this date obviously had first-hand experience with what that could do with relationships, I don't think they were out of line at all.
I mean, I know that's frustrating to the poster, since he hasn't done anything wrong and is watching a promising potential relationship fall apart because of his job exclusively, but he acted like a bit of a goose there.
Smooth move.
The fact that this didn't happen speaks to something fundamentally wrong at the very core of the universe.
I concur with the current prevailing sentiment. It doesn't sound like the storyteller is innocent. In fact, it sounded like they squandered a good date because they acted like a jerk. While it's true that being labeled wrong can be irritating it's important to remember a key context here. They where Exs. People she's dated. Thus, the rabbit hole likely runs quite deep. It sounds like it may have even been more then one game tester that she has dated. So her reaction was because of personal history not because of Anonymous being a game tester. That personal history could include a nasty fight, never seeing her boyfriend, going a month with no contact, trying to deal with BF stress levels, or any of a bunch of bad things...
We cannot know because Anonymous never asked. Her concerns are about her and he didn't respect that. He made it about him and painted her concerns with a quality of bad. Frankly, I can only conclude that Anonymous has served to enforce her opinion and bad history with game testers. Just another brick in the wall really.
PS: As I tried to suggest. If Game Testing is as bad as "Trenches" stories leads me to believe...it's pretty high stress. Stress levels have a way of transmitting between people. Especially people trying to have a relationship. Having to deal with someone that's emotionally unstable because their super stressed and having mood swings is dealing with someone that's emotionally unstable and having moodswings. Stress is the cause and problem but, that fact doesn't change the symptoms. It's not some fault or wrong of someone that's stressed to act like that. It's merely facts and results of reasonable humanity. It's still a problem that can torpedo a relationship..even if no one is wrong. Hell, it's the kind of problem that can break a couple apart without anyone being wrong if both sides act maturely.
Yeah, no kidding. He's going to stay single for awhile with an attitude like that.
You're right, he should've let her get away with making assumptions and taking things at face value.
Or maybe you can let people know they're being wrong, despite being sarcastic.
Yes, it's called being the bigger person :P All he did was confirm her bias.
Also, I really think she was just turned off by the long hours testers work - that's the way it came across to me.
Standing up for himself is fine. He should do that. He should address the assumption and fix it to defend himself. Which, I'm not sure he did. It looks like he did but, does it really qualify.
Is a passive aggressive and baiting statement. It looks like defending oneself but, isn't it really a form of attack?
Something I can objectively agree with but, contextually it's the barb of the attack. Set deep with a tug.
I think Anonymous defending himself would look more like... "Well, I'd like you to get to know me better before you judge me." Add on a "Why do you feel that way though?" and you get what I think he could have said.
edit: minor formatting/phrasing changes.
I can only hope this story was truncated for brevity and punch. If it unfolded this way, then the poster didn't even give the girl a chance to explain. He didn't give himself a chance to push past her reservations. He hit one snag and goes all holier than thou, how dare thee question me mode? Not a good sign.
He should have said "That sucks, I thought we were really hitting it off." Maybe she'd have explained. "Sure, you seem like a nice guy, but my last boyfriend was a tester and he never had time for us." Maybe you have a good answer for that. Maybe you don't and your job really is a deal breaker. Either way, you handle it with some grace.
Or, maybe she says "Every tester I've met is an immature asshole." Then you can say, "Well I hope you'll give me a chance to prove I'm not like them. I don't come across that way so far, do I?" Maybe then she gives you a chance. Maybe not, maybe she says "No, I don't date game testers. You're all pricks." Then you can feel free to lay the verbal smack down.
But it doesn't even sound like the poster gave it a chance. As soon as she touched a nerve, he reflexively and defensively destroyed everything. If you can't handle that situation, you don't seem ready for a relationship. Even the most ideal partner will touch a nerve once in awhile, you need to be able to handle that with some grace.
Girl: So what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a software engineer.
Her eyes glaze over, she looks down or away, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. She's thinking about how quickly she can end this date, because for her it's already over.
The industry sucked hard at that time, primarily because it was flooded with a ton of uneducated poseurs who all thought they could be web designers because they picked up a book on HTML and Javascript. I spent nearly 8 years working my ass off to get my CS degree, and during that time I was promised I'd never be out of work. Guess what? 4 months into my first job I got laid off. It was bad enough dealing with the crushing blow to my career, but the collateral damage to my love life made it even worse.
So, yeah, I can appreciate his frustration. Did he blow it with his attitude? Yeah, for sure. But I honestly doubt that it mattered.
The dating world right now is pretty scummy. Most girls glaze over the second I mention video games. Several dating sites ask you if you play and how much, and it's staggering the amount of females that say they couldn't date a guy who does, citing maturity. I've personally done tests, posting 2 ads at different times on craigslist, one mentioning I game and one saying nothing about it, and again, I get considerably more responses when I don't mention games.
I can very easily imagine that, the second he said he did QA, she had much the same reaction as girls who find out I'd rather play a game than watch baseball.
If you've had a bad experience with someone in that particular career, I don't think it's unfair at all to be extremely wary going forward - as it stands, I'm lucky in that I have an incredibly patient wife, but I'd be lying if I said there aren't times where there's some strain simply because I don't see my wife for a week or more at a time on occasion.
What exactly does he owe her at this point when she's drawn the line based on profession?
Yeah, there's other way to go about the situation that would've allowed him to correct that perception she chose to have, but how exactly can you assume she was worth the effort? Maybe his interest in her was lukewarm to begin with, so whatever. Nothing gained, nothing lost.
3DS FC: 0817-3759-2788
Not to say its the smart play but on first dates people tend to be high strung and nervous. Shit happens and its not really fair to judge him for bungling it up. Besides, at least he got a good burn out of what was looking to be a futile situation.
He mentions they're both homeowners. This is key. Being a homeowner carries a LOT of money responsibilities and requires a stable income.
She thought from his profile that he was in a high-paying job like a computer programmer, and it turns out he was a bottom rung tester, which she KNOWS is bottom rung because she's already dated a tester. So it doesn't take a mathemagician to figure out why her mood changed, especially if she's been through it all before.
Does it excuse his attitude? No, but I don't think it would have worked whether he said that or not.
Name someone in the game industry, or the software industry in general, who doesn't work long hours.
Most employees at Microsoft work reasonable hours (around 40 hrs a week), and Amazon and Google usually don't exceed 50 hrs a week most weeks. The game industry and the hardware industry (I'm looking at you Intel) are far, far worse.
I got to admit, that hit the nail on the head lol