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switzky21
__BANNED USERS regular
__BANNED USERS regular
As a former employee of EB Games, I have had to deal with my fair share of total idiots. ("What's 25% off 100 dollars?" "...It's 75 dollars, sir." "75 dollars off?")
So, tell us the absolute worst/best/funniest stories you have about dealing with the poor souls behind the counter, or (if you've been down that road) the poorer souls in front of it.
So, tell us the absolute worst/best/funniest stories you have about dealing with the poor souls behind the counter, or (if you've been down that road) the poorer souls in front of it.
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basically half of my duties entailed scanning the computers every day for videos this dude would leave on the desktop, right alongside franklin the turtle's sea adventures and math blaster
And then I take their money
well yeah
I clean glass
at a zoo
thanks for pointing out the obvious
another time the female employees came up to me and another guy and told us there was a 'situation' in the mens bathroom. we were the only dudes on staff that day so we had to deal with it.
some 5 year old kid had smeared shit all over the walls, stall, his face, the sink, pretty much wherever the little dude could reach. so it was great to have that fall under my increasingly awesome scope of responsibility..
Me; Holding out my hand, 'Alright, lemme see it...'
'Do you want me to bring in the computer or the tower... I don't know if you want the tower because there is stuff in there that can fry you'
me: Hello, I'll be your server tonight. The soup of the day is tomato basil.
dumbass woman: But I don't want tomato basil.
me: No no I'm just letting you know that tomato basil is the soup of the day.
dumbass woman: yea but I don't want that soup
me: *bashes head in
Except ours was WAY more beat up. I personaly was responsible for ripping one of the side panels off it. It weighs close to 7000 ponds, and can hit 7mph in a small building.
It was fun.
hey whoa look the lady said she didn't want your fuckin tomato basil soup, leave her alone.
Some guy brought his laptop in while I was not at work and made a whole bunch of requests. While I could not find what is wrong with the computer I did notice it had a large amount of spyware looking things running in the back. I called him up and the conversation followed.
'You payed for a PC tuneup, and a software installation, also a system restore and some other stuff, I also have a ton of notes about how you want me to clean your computer... can you elaborate?'
He informed me that, 'Well, you sound pretty young so I assume you'll understand. I recently aquired access to the internet and was doing some, exploring shall we say. Now I'm happily married and just want to make sure nothing impedes on that.' So I take the hint and say, 'Well, you payed for a bunch of useless junk, have you tried the 'clear history' button. He says yes, but he keeps getting pop-ups and other things.
So I tell him I'll take care of it, and probably a format would be the best idea seeing as how the ammount of spyware on his computer has slowed his poor little pentium 2 laptop down to a crawl (... if you can call it that).
I hop in to IE just to see what he's talking about and notice he has various toolbars. I also notice that his homepage seems to be permanently stuck to the website 'Fuckmyhairyasianpussy'
It was like an 8 year old trying to find porn.
Now the guys last name was roberts, so I assume he was white to the highest degree.
I open his history and see things along the line of, 'Hairyasianpussys, hairyblackpussy, hairyafricanpussy, younghairyafricanpussy and somthing involving animals.
Anyways, I decided I had about 2 hours before I actually had anything to do in the store so I went through his cache and found some very interesting pictures. Apparently there is a dog named 'thor' in the beastiality buisness. Thor likes both men and women.
Anyways... I explained the situation to my boss and we threw back blackmail ideas and then I proceeded to format his computer.
Not sure how i'd feel about a female thor.
Fugit, female thor would rock too.
Me - "er... sure"
Client - "awesome. We only want you to use Times New Roman."
Me -
Client - "Oh! And Comic sans is good too!"
Me -
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
The designer's weekly nightmare unfortunately. I HATE comic sans...
especially the one who looks like someone crossed John Goodman and a big ol' orange bear
One time this guy comes into GAP and is like "Yo, hook me up with some new jeans and a shirt."
So he tries on some gear and is like "This is good, I'm going to leave this other stuff here because it's not mine."
Weird.
Also
One time when I was working at the cinemas there was some Bollywood show playing in the middle of a weekday. There were three people that went in - a young couple and an old fat guy in a motorized wheelchair who sat in the back corner. So anyway everytime I check the screen it seems like the couple have taken off another piece of clothing. Eventually I go in there and they're literally bouncing up and down on the chair with no clothes on. was a bit weirded out but they noticed me and quickly got dressed and left the movie before it was even halfway through.
The weird thing is, not five minutes after they left, and even though the movie still had at least an hour to go, the old fat guy comes buzzing down the corridor in his chair and leaves. Show was over, I guess.
Good times.
Oh man I totally saw that coming but didn't want to believe it.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
oh bonK,
you Card
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
oh god thats glorious
In any case, my job is to test chemicals, clean the occasional bathroom, make sure the filters are filtering, chlorinators are chlorinating, and so on. One day, the last thing I do at one of the pools is to clean the strainer, which is a simple thing to do:
Get a kitchen glove, shut off the pump, close the inlet valves, close the outlet valve, apply glove to hand, open up and clean the strainer, put the strainer back, open the inlet valves, open the outlet valve, turn on the pump.
The part where the outlet valve is opened back up again is the important bit.
So I turn the pump back on and leave. It was my last pool of the day, and I was off the next day, so I was pretty happy and didn't look back at all. Three hours later, I get a call from my boss.
"Hey, I bet you cleaned the strainer at the Faircroft pool."
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"Well, you left the outlet valve closed. It blew open the pipe running from the pump to the filter, flooded the pumphouse, and drained about half the pool."
"...oh"
"Yeah. I'm going to need to cut some more PVC pipe and get new pipe collars. This pools going to be closed tomorrow to get water back in it and get the chemicals rebalenced. Probably closed the day after too."
"...do you need me to do anything?"
"You ever cut pipe before?"
"No."
"Well in that case, just make sure the pool's deck's clean for the next day or two. All the other pools look fine though, so we're alright there."
"...um, ok."
"And don't do it again. Have a great day."
tl:dr
I caused about $500 of damage at my job with no repercussions at all because my boss is a really cool guy.
I am all too familiar with how everyone and their brother thinks they know as much as you about design, even with someone such as myself who went to four years of expensive schooling to train in the elements and technical aspects.
I had a week-long argument with my bosses/clients (I work for them, in their office as an independent contractor) about photos for their portfolio. Jose, one of the principals is CONVINCED that in order to have a square photograph in a book, you need a very expensive camera that takes square photos. I tried to tell him countless times that you just take a high-quality digital photo and I will simply crop it down to a square, but he has it in his head that it will ruin the composition of the image. I will go and photograph this shit MYSELF if I have to just to prove him wrong.
You wouldn't believe the fights I've had with them (well, I'm sure you would) about how I can make a very nice book if I alter the format and forever they were saying how we'd have to stick to 8.5"x11" because that's what our printer prints. Finally I showed them, I printed on 11"x17" paper, cropped it to an 11" square and bound it and guess what? They love it, it was the best idea they ever had!
I want to pop them over the head with a hammer sometime but that's another story. I charge them by the hour so I AM compensated if they decide to waste my time pretending to know what they're talking about.
Anyway, this was a real high class joint. Used computers.
Used emachines. Used Compaq presario. Used Motherfucking Acer.
The horror of trying to get this shit to even function was unrelenting. P2s and P3s running 98. Not even 98se.
Straight up 98. The fucking inbred mongrels that bought these computers were paying as much for 3rd rate office compters as they would a state of the art Dell. I routinely had conversations in Spanglish about spyware and viri obtained from lolita porn sites and beastiality and scat porn from Brazil.
"Sir, far be it from me to tell you how to handle your computer, but this website here... "12 year old bitches fuck snakes"..... not only is that illegal in this country, but it's also downloading a host of spyware on your computer."
"si...si.... but look at her ass."
In his defense some of the not-12-year-olds had some fine asses.
ya know... when they weren't stuffed with snakes and scorpions.
I imagine they'd have to. It's their profession. Imagine the stories they could tell us about annoying work stories!
So I guess this was about 3 years ago.... so I would have been 9 at the time.. ANyway, we were stuffing a ball python in my asshole and this jerk director wants me to blow a goat. Now a dude? a dog? a pony? no problem, it's in my work agreement. But a goat.... those fucking things smell terrible. SO I say no way.........
I hated that job.
"Hey, Jade, I ever tell you about the time I had to shove a gila monster in my ass?"
"You know, Saffron, I don't think I've heard that one. Who was the director on that one?"
"Harry Crackenass."
"Oh, he's a real bastard."
"Yup."