Our first, last and only line of defense (another XCOM LP) (completed)

1246731

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  • 101101 Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Jesus, of Squad B there are 2 members left alive, both of whom are in the hospital D:

    Also I will take bullet swarm @smof. I have a powerful need to do more alien shooting.

    e: out of curiosity, what are my stats?

    101 on
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    @smof
    gunslinger, please!

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I'd like to make sure everyone's noticed that I didn't get a chance to even move in that mission. In all of the wide-angle shots you can still see the Skyranger. I never made it past that first bloody train!

    101 wrote: »
    Jesus, of Squad B there are 2 members left alive, both of whom are in the hospital D:

    Also I will take bullet swarm @smof. I have a powerful need to do more alien shooting.

    e: out of curiosity, what are my stats?

    You totally jinxed it with your sarcastic comment after Squad One's last mission.

  • 101101 Registered User regular
    karma sucks

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    FAO @101
    PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
    Recruit file 005
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    End report

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Intermission Base Report

    April 9 - Our fleet force is vastly improved as repairs on Raven-2 are completed the same day that two new interceptors arrive, one each in Africa and Asia. Raven-1 and Raven-2 are equipped with the new Phoenix Cannons.

    April 12 - Some excellent news as Dr. Vahlen's lab reports completion of their research into Beam Weapons. Yaaaay, lasers. I like lasers. The labs then begin studying Xeno-Biology so that we may better know our enemy.

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    April 17 - Xeno-Biology research is finished. Research begins on the Arc Thrower.

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    Construction of a second satellite uplink is completed. We now have capacity for 5 satellites, with 2 already in the sky and 2 under construction. Sadly we can't afford a 5th right now.

    You know, it's been an awful long bit of quiet here... maybe the game is being nice to me after such a horrible last mission?

    Oh...

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    Oh...

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    Well, what can you do.

    We sell shit Dr. Vahlen really doesn't want us to sell and scrape together pennies from under the sofa cushions in the soldiers' barracks, and manage to afford a couple of laser rifles. It doesn't leave us in a great position.

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    But it's better than not having laser rifles!

    Right, Squad One is up. Even if they weren't, Squad Two is nonexistant right now. I'm switching almost everybody's grenades out for SCOPEs and medkits in the hope it will help everyone stay alive. There's not really anything else we can do to prepare so hold onto your butts.

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    I know as the Commander I probably shouldn't say this but... I'm scared.

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt proud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelo dorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered User regular
    that last mission was harrowing, I am holding my butt

    we got this, squad one

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  • Mysterious FoxMysterious Fox Registered User regular
    Well. Well, well, well

    Surname: Fox
    Name: M.
    Gender: /shrug
    Armour: Mysterious

  • scherbchenscherbchen Asgard (it is dead)Registered User regular
    don't qorry squad 1, the new rookies will avenge you.

  • Dongs GaloreDongs Galore Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    USA USA USA

    thanks smof

    it should of course be noted for narrative purposes that Rk Donna Galore is in her private life the Duchess of Scunthorpe

    Dongs Galore on
  • Halos Nach TariffHalos Nach Tariff Can you blame me? I'm too famous.Registered User regular
    Soooo, looks like you're gonna be needing some fresh troops plasma fodder then?

    Surname: Macky
    Name: Kat
    Gender: Female
    Armour: ?Whatever, I don't know what the options are, something cool, in green for preference.

    Nicely written LP by the way, it's a good read.

  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    Oh man, Squad #2. Yikes. Perhaps a visit to Russia would cheer everyone up, under other circumstances. This time, I think not.

    Also, i'm going to blame my poor aim on cheap Soviet-bloc ammo.

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    When really we all know it's because you stocked up on homebrew vodka the second you crossed the border.

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular

    Now I'm no collage educated fancy man Dr. Vahlen, but I'm pretty sure you should try looking right around those giant fuckin' staples.

    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Guys I have good news and bad news about the latest mission.

    The good news is that you didn't all die.

  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt proud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelo dorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered User regular
    if I wasn't hardcore enough to live

    please tell me i was really hardcore when I died

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  • scherbchenscherbchen Asgard (it is dead)Registered User regular
    smof wrote: »
    Guys I have good news and bad news about the latest mission.

    The good news is that you didn't all die.

    the bad news is that there is a fate worse than death. :winky:

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Soooo, looks like you're gonna be needing some fresh troops plasma fodder then?

    Surname: Macky
    Name: Kat
    Gender: Female
    Armour: ?Whatever, I don't know what the options are, something cool, in green for preference.

    Nicely written LP by the way, it's a good read.

    Thanks. I'm having a lot of fun writing it, glad to hear people are enjoying it.

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Operation Crystal Dream - Terror Mission
    April 17th 20:02 Novgorod
    Sgt. Floosevelt, Sgt. Madder, Cpl. Aya, Sq. Label, Sq. Fuzzbutt


    Sgt. Floosevelt: We have confirmation of civilians in the AO and they are a priority. Stay sharp and move fast guys, help them when you can but try not to do anything stupid.

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    Cpl. Aya: You hear that?

    Sgt. Madder: Yeah. Sounds like the flying things I encountered while out with squad two.

    Cpl. Aya: Flying things sound like they'd be a pain in the ass.

    Sgt. Madder: Eh, I like them better than the spitting things.

    Sgt. Floosevelt: All right, look sharp, we have civvies up ahead.

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: You're all right now, get to the plane, we'll cover you.

    Civilian: Oh god, thank you!

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: Hostiles! Inside the library!

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    Sgt. Floosevelt {laser rifle fire}

    {wall crumbling}

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: Woaah, my gun does that now?

    Cpl. Aya {rifle fire}

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    Cpl. Aya: It's falling back, I've lost visual.

    Sgt. Floosevelt: I dunno about you, Aya, but I'm feeling a little exposed out here. What say we take the high ground?

    Cpl. Aya: Oh yeah, 'cos getting on the roof worked out for us so well last time.

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: How's it look up there?

    Cpl. Aya: Uh... I think I see a... zombie?

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: What the hell, Aya. Like aliens aren't bad enough?

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: Oh. Okay. So, how do we kill zombies?

    Cpl. Aya: "By removing the head, or destroying the brain."

    Sgt. Floosevelt: Yeah? How about I just shoot it with lasers?

    Sgt. Floosevelt {laser rifle fire}

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    Cpl. Aya: Watch out! It's on the move...

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    Cpl. Aya: ...away... from us.

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    Cpl. Aya: It just jumped off the roof.

    Sgt. Floosevelt: Yeah, I wasn't expecting that either. <radio> Madder, how're you guys doing down there?

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    Sgt. Madder {pistol shots}

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    Sgt. Madder {pistol shots}

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    Sgt. Madder: <radio> Doin' okay for now.

    Cpl. Aya: Behind us!

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    Cpl. Aya {rifle fire}

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: I'm sorry sir, but this is a private roof terrace.

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    Sgt. Floosevelt {laser rifle fire}

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    Cpl. Aya: I see another civilian up ahead.

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    Cpl. Aya: Get out of here, we've got you covered.

    Sgt. Floosevelt: <radio> Madder, Label, Fuzzbutt, we're going to enter this building through the roof and work our way down. Come up and join us. We don't want to be getting too spread out.

    Sgt. Madder: <radio> Roger that, moving.

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    Sq. Fuzzbutt: Wait, I gotta go back down. I see a woman down there.

    Sgt. Madder: Be quick, Fuzzbutt. Don't get yourself killed.

    Sq. Label: More importantly don't get us killed by making us come and rescue you.

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    Sq. Fuzzbutt: Hey, go! There's a plane waiting down the street.

    Civilian: Oh, thank god.

    Sq. Fuzzbutt: Guys, I have something. Ground floor of the building. I don't know what it is. Looks like... some kind of giant bug.

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    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    Heheheeheheheheheheeeeeehehehe

    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    So, about that bad news...

  • UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    ready for duty, ma'am

  • UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    you know, if there's an opening

  • ValaganteValagante Pony on the run. Registered User regular
    smof wrote: »
    So, about that bad news...

    I bet the bugs did it.

    I don't take myself seriously.
    You shouldn't take me seriously either.
    Saints Row 1 just wasn't ridiculous enough.
  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt proud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelo dorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered User regular
    Fearghaill wrote: »
    you know, if there's an opening

    I think some members of squad one are going to be opened up momentarily

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  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Cpl. Aya: Cool, another new type of x-ray. At this rate we'll have the whole set in no time!

    Sq. Fuzzbutt: It's moving!

    Sgt. Madder: Get out of there, Fuzzbutt!

    Sq. Fuzzbutt: Not towards me!

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    Cpl. Aya: Holy shit did you see that thing jump??

    Cpl. Aya {rifle fire}

    Sgt. Madder {sniper rifle fire}

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    Cpl. Aya: HUUURGH

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    Sgt. Madder: Aya! What the FUCK.

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    Sq. Label: Madder where are you going?? Oh shit, behind you!!

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    Sq. Label: Oh shit. Think fast, Label.

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    Sq. Label {RPG launch}

    {EXPLOSION}

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    Sgt. Floosevelt {laser rifle fire}

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: Bug thing is down. Jesus, Aya.

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: ... Aya?

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    Oh god. Need more explosives, I can feel it.

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Sgt. Floosevelt: Oh, no fucking way.

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: Aya! Buddy, it's me!

    Cpl. Aya: Graaaughhh

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: God damn it.

    Sgt. Floosevelt {laser rifle fire}

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: Shit, it's still up, and I need to reload. Fuzzbutt!

    Sq. Fuzzbutt: What?? You can't be serious. You want me to shoot Aya??

    Sgt. Floosevelt: That's not Aya any more! And yes, I want you to shoot him.

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    Sq. Fuzzbutt: But... he outranks me!

    Sgt. Floosevelt: FUZZBUTT.

    Sq. Fuzzbutt {pistol shots}

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    Sq. Fuzzbutt: He's dead.

    Sq. Label: Again.

    Sgt. Floosevelt: Okay, let's just... focus on getting the last of those civilians.

    Sq. Label: From those sounds, I don't think we're done exterminating.

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    Sq. Label: Yup. Two more bugs.

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    Sgt. Floosevelt: All right, new plan. Those things can move, we do not want to get into an enclosed space with them. Hang back here and see if they come to us. Stay away from the roof edge.

    Sq. Fuzzbutt: There are civilians down there still.

    Sgt. Floosevelt: And we'll be no use to them if we end up like Aya. Sit tight.

    Sq. Label: Here they come!

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    Sgt. Madder {sniper rifle fire}

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    Sq. Label {LMG fire}

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    Sgt. Madder: That was one. Where's the other?

    Sgt. Floosevelt: I don't know, but I don't think we'll have to wait for long. They don't really strike me as the strategic type.

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    Sq. Label: Oh. Hello.

    Sq. Label {LMG fire}

    Sgt. Floosevelt {laser rifle fire}

    Sq. Fuzzbutt {laser rifle fire}

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    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Operation Crystal Dream Mission Debrief


    Kill Count

    Sq. Label 3
    Sgt. Floosevelt 2
    Sq. Fuzzbutt 2
    Sgt. Madder 1
    Cpl. Aya 0



    Promotions

    Sq. Fuzzbutt promoted to Corporal. Cpl. Fuzzbutt can train in either Tactical Sense (+5 defense per enemy in sight to max +20) or Aggression (+10% critical chance per enemy in sight to max +30%) @Mr Fuzzbutt

    Sq. Label promoted to Corporal. Cpl. Label has the choice of Bullet Storm (firing on your first move no longer ends the turn) or Holo-Targetting (shooting at or suppressing enemies also confers +10 aim to any allies' attacks on those enemies) @Label

    Sgt. Floosevelt promoted to Lieutenant. Lt. Floosevelt may train either in Flush (fire a shot that forces an enemy to move; easy to hit but does reduced damage) or Rapid Fire (take two successive shots at the same enemy; each shot has a -15 penalty to aim) @Theodore Floosevelt


    Casualty List

    Cpl. Aya killed in action

    ---

    Overall Kill Count

    Lt. Floosevelt 11
    Cpl. Starbuck 10
    Sgt. Madder 7
    Cpl. Label 5
    Sq. Rankenphile 4
    Cpl. Fuzzbutt 4
    Cpl. Aya 4 (KIA)
    Sq. Bogey 3 (KIA)
    Sq. Gatz 2 (KIA)
    Rk. Lobo 0 (KIA)

  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    @smof Requesting Holo-Targeting and more explosives, Commander.

    And I guess what's left of Aya can have some of my vodka.

  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    godfuckingdammit

    Fuzzbutt we are now on the outs

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    For reals I am gonna miss Aya. He and Floosevelt are my favourites. I think just cos their bright colours make them stand out.

    Of course Floosevelt can actually aim which makes him a lot more useful than Aya, who managed to miss every single shot in his final mission. Way to go down in a blaze of glory, pinky.

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    YaYa wrote: »
    godfuckingdammit

    Fuzzbutt we are now on the outs

    You are on the outs.

    I'm still here.

    broken image link
  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    Also, shotgun and tactical sense, please.

    broken image link
  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt proud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelo dorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered User regular
    @smof I think I've got the skills to go rapid fire on these goons

    and when we get back to base I turn after post-mission showers (assuming we can pay our water bill after spending all our money on lasers) and go to snap Y. Aya's butt with my towel

    but he's not there...

    a single tear streaks down to moisten my mustache

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  • Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    Signing up, @smof!

    Surname: Blithe 6th
    Name: Caulkilous
    Gender: whatevs
    Head type: I seem to recall a helmet that looks like it's mostly just a huge glass dome. That one.
    Colours: pretty sure there's a purple with yellow highlighting set. If not, just as purple as you can get.

    Yay phone posting.

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  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Intermission Base Report

    April 19 - Just two days pass after Novgorod, long enough to hold a memorial party for Aya and then chop his body into bits and burn them so he doesn't come back all zombied again. Then a small UFO is detected on the ground in Nigeria. Shake off those illegal-vodka hangovers guys, it's back to work.

    Squad Two, you're up!

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    ... oh. Oh, yeah. *sob*

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • 101101 Registered User regular
    I've seen things man

    Terrible things

  • TaskmanTaskman Registered User regular
    Starbuck is going to end up that horribly scarred, grizzled veteran who laughs insanely as the rookies panic while their position is overrun.
    Speaking of rookies, I wonder who's turn it is to try and digest plasma?

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  • Romanian My EscutcheonRomanian My Escutcheon Two of Forks Registered User regular
    edited April 2013
    Taskman wrote: »
    Starbuck is going to end up that horribly scarred, grizzled veteran who laughs insanely as the rookies panic while their position is overrun.
    Speaking of rookies, I wonder who's turn it is to try and digest plasma?

    Assuming smof keeps going in order of signups, the next four people are @ASimPerson, @Feriluce, @Valagante, and some asshole with a ridiculously long na - oh, wait, that's me.

    I don't run this game, though, so it's up to our glorious Commander to decide who will be lucky enough to step forward and follow her inspired orders in the interest of defending humanity, and no, I am not kissing up in the hopes that I will be placed in the position that has the empirically lowest number of laser beams or bug-based zombie factories, how dare you imply such a thing?

    Romanian My Escutcheon on
    [IMG][/img]
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