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Going cueball because of balding, advice?
TheSonicRetard
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
After my morning shower, I did my normal thing and combed my hair in front of my mirror in my towel before brushing my teeth and it's become obvious to me that my hair is starting to thin. It's not noticeable when combed and dry, but when it's wet it's clearly thinner than it was 6 months ago and I think I'm starting to form a small widow's peak. From a tender young age, looking up at the ugly u-shaped horseshoes that adorned the other men in my family, I swore to myself that, when the day came that my genes would finally catch up to me, I would just shave my head rather than suffer the indignity of trying to cling to increasingly embarrassing strands of hair. It's my own way of taking control of the situation.
Hence, I've decided to make my metamorphosis from pre-Xbox J Allard to Post-Xbox J Allard this weekend. I've informed my family and friends of my intent, so that it won't shock them, but I'm curious where to go from there. Do I need to grow a wicked beard and join a thrash metal band? Does hat-wear become more important because of the deadly affects of the sun? Do I need to tan my head to get it to match the rest of my skin? What about aggressiveness of shaving - do I go cueball or should I go very short fuzz or what?
Anybody else who has taken this step want to give me some advice on how to embrace the bald?
Hence, I've decided to make my metamorphosis from pre-Xbox J Allard to Post-Xbox J Allard this weekend. I've informed my family and friends of my intent, so that it won't shock them, but I'm curious where to go from there. Do I need to grow a wicked beard and join a thrash metal band? Does hat-wear become more important because of the deadly affects of the sun? Do I need to tan my head to get it to match the rest of my skin? What about aggressiveness of shaving - do I go cueball or should I go very short fuzz or what?
Anybody else who has taken this step want to give me some advice on how to embrace the bald?
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Ladies love hirsute men.
I wouldn't go razor short because it hurts and can lead to hella sunburn. I just use a shaver, set it to the lowest setting and things just work out fine. So yeah, space marine short is good.
But you have to keep using shampoo, even if you're head's shaved. In fact, I recommend you switch to dandruff shampoo for a shaved head, even if you don't have it. No need for conditioner tho.
I don't have enough razors nor time in the world to do this. I am a forest.
or just give you the chemo
Ya, I knew I needed to keep shampooing, I just meant the annoyance of having to condition after shampooing. Too redundant. I can manage just greasing my cue with some anti-flake creme or whatever. I can't even imagine what dandruff would look like on a bald person.
Can I mail you the hair?
It's like a horror movie. But you only need to shampoo about twice a week, more if you notice any flaking starting which is possible when your scalp is suddenly exposed to the elements like it will be.
Don't do creme because that leads to grease and an increase in acne which you're probably going to get on the forehead as it is. Hair blocks and absorbs a lot of that and the head is an oily oily place.
I've never had acne before, ever. I can count the number of pimples I've gotten in my life on both hands. This is going to kinda suck...
what about tanning? Am I going to to look like a shaved lamb for a while, or does my cueball tan quickly?
it's got to be a rough british accent, not one of the posh ones
you could even outdo Statham and try for a Michael Caine accent
It will be less of a shock when it comes off, because it won't be this fully smooth cueball, and it allows you to tweak some facial hair for a good combination. Anything from a goatee backwards is a workable look.
At a bare minimum, wait until there's some stubble. Just base the transition off various forms of Jason Statham.
I wouldn't worry about the acne then. You may get some small things at the hairline or maybe nothing.
Tanning shouldn't be much different then anywhere else on you; just be aware your scalp may not have tanned at all before and will need to go through the process. Expect the first burn to hurt like hell etc. Or you may notice nothing at all.
Even if that's what you're going for, it will not be what you end up with.
I'd honestly say go full Neal Stephenson.
not a fedora
just make sure to stay away from airports, office buildings, new york city, washington d.c., and the entirety of russia
bad news: you have butt cancer
closets and closets full of wigs
luxurious wigs
dignified wigs
goofy wigs
formal wigs
casual wigs
fierce wigs
it's wigs all the way down now, pal
that fine fake hair is the new way and the light
In my butt?
I could do a powdered wig
While some guys may need to do this, including yourself, this is hardly true for all or even most guys. I don't shampoo my bald head and I don't have to worry about dandruff or skin flaking off. So perhaps he shouldn't worry about either of those things unless it actually becomes a problem.
I've had dandruff in the past, it usually goes and comes when I wear caps for a few days straight, so I'll probably take his advice just to be safe. The idea of being bald with dandruff terrifies me.
simple. I'm merely getting a good moral pumping up.
this is option B: